Category Archives: Week 4


Osunlade & Divine Essence – My Reflection

Geeee Reflection , a touchy subject if you take into consideration that it is a form of actually taking accountability for your actions and decisions. I personally know prior to this class or lecture that this was something I would not do on a regular basis.

It is during this class I had discovered self reflection allows you to remove yourself from situations and for you to be able to assess your position and you short comings by using the SWOT Analysis TOOL, which stands for :

  • S – Strength
  • W– Weakness
  • O – Opportunity
  • T – Threat

After the class I had discovered my weakness and certainly aimed to work towards eradication them and allowing them to become strengths. There is indeed plenty of opportunities out there for us to grab however they may never come in the form of Gold . I Watched a video Interview with Bishop TD Jakes and Steven Furtick , where the Bishop explains to Steven what God Gives is up to us what we make of it , ” God Gave you a tree, its up to you what you make out of it , you could make a chair , you could make a table “

Week 4: Learning from Life

Now this was my week to present…and i mean me and my team!

Awesome! A bunch of strong personalities, coming together to produce a great presentation was a job and a half… and again, here I am writing about it because it was an awesome presentation.

Besides learning from the concept of learning from life and a subsection on balancing life, I think I am still looking into doing that, and im not sure if I have quite grasped it. Life is an encyclopidia on its own and I am learning to be calm in all circumstances and to deal with what is at hand, and at hand, and at hand at each time. At the end of the day, what is important is you bringing yourself to the occasion and giving your best and learning from whatever outcome. Another aspect I have learned as a member of this group is that, you constantly need to balance yourself as much as you balance life

Week 6: Honouring Differences

  • I was amazed by the group that was facilitating on the day. Their topic was well planned as they were able to incorporate the different traditional cultures where I now understand how culture differs. It was pleasing to see the combined effect and teamwork amongst the Honouring Differences team.
  • Another exciting thing is when I see each of them wearing traditional clothes from different cultural groups and try to demonstrate those cultures even though each of them espoused the other culture. It was such a wonderful experience and open-minded practical topic. I was very much happy and excited that all South African recognized culture was well represented and how they also explained the attitude and behavior. Unfortunately, it was bad for South Africa to remains as diverse as a nation hence we are called ourselves the “rainbow nation”. It was a well-researched and presented topic.
  •  I think as responsible parents we need to make sure that our children be allowed to attend government gatherings such as Heritage day in order to learn the different cultures and felt proud of their own history as a nation…and a rich dissimilar culture and heritage we carry.

Personal Reflection

The fourth week was all about personal reflection, I believe that through the previous week’s reflections, I have achieved some insight into myself and about myself that I would never have done otherwise. I look myself in the mirror often and reflect on my goals and I remember that the only way is forward. I can learn from and remember the past but I must move forward and live for today. I act on my strengths and am improving on my weaknesses. I have to find solutions for my challenges and do that from within myself. It is always easier to say that you must look at yourself, you must be kinder to yourself but, in truth, it is just not possible.

Self Reflection

“Self-reflection is like looking into a mirror and describing what you see. It is a way of assessing yourself, your ways of working and how you study. To put it simply “reflection” means to think about something…” I think I had it wrong all along. To me it was looking in the mirror and telling yourself you are beautiful, you are strong, you are courageous, God loves me, I love me… BUT the meaning to self-reflection is much clearer now.

I must admit, I feel bad about my delta feedback to this group. The intend of their choice on how they chose to facilitate had a deeper meaning which I now understand. Self-reflection is now always a popular topic for some people. Sometimes you need to force people to do this because life takes way and you tend to forget the important things, what drives and motivates you. If you forget this, your life looses meaning. Deep ne?

It reminded me of a couple that we were shepherding a few years ago. Young, popular cell group leaders. The lead cell for the younger twentyz congregation. These groups like to socialize and always have plans together and still studies and parties and having fun. They were almost caught up in this as they started to drift away from one another (still dating at that time). They changed and were no longer intuitive with one another. We had to make a call and invited them for dinner at our house. So, we prepared the dinner, created a romantic feel and when they arrived, we left them there. Till this date they cannot thank us enough as we created that a-ha moment for them to just stop life and reflect. Reflect on their relationship, what was going on, where do they want it to go.

Best decision ever, they are married today, and my friend still says, if it was not for us, they wouldn’t be together today. It might be a stupid example, but that stood out for me on how important it is to reflect and how it can impact your life good or bad. So, insist on reflecting on yourself ever so often, more often than you use to, make self-reflection inevitable… XoXo

Learning from Life

Wow ,now this had an interesting sub-topic (balancing life). This was a very insightful and relevant piece of facilitation,the topic spoke to me as young working and schooling mom and wife.

It is not easy to find balance in our everyday lives, I myself have a very complicated week and i realized that it is because i am not a very organized person that is why i cant balance my life. but this presentation made me realize that it is important to manage and balance your life.

On the positive though,the topic itself is LEARNING FROM LIFE so that is my lesson from the whole presentation,the fact that we learn from life everyday and we are able to grow from fixing our wrongs. When one of the guys was explaining the how we can use our hours/time,i found it unrealistic but it made me realize that i do have a lot of time on my hands but i’m not using it accordingly.

Some how i realized that all the topics that Ros gave to us do connect,so I need to have SMART GOALS for me to be able to balance my life. I have to allocate time to my everyday goals according to their importance so time management is as important when one wants to grow….

Working in teams

It’s very important to learn to work in teams or with individuals who are goal driven. At work, we work in an environment that requires constant interaction with customers, contractors and the public at large. With the past complaints we have had in one area of our building, we kept receiving complaints about this and that not working, and as such are one of those individuals who don’t want to be at risk of losing our loyal visitors in our building. We strive to succeed, even though we cannot win always, we keep trying till we make it work.

At Wits, I am part of a community of those who are goal driven. We are all here for a reason, we want to get those qualifications so bad it like a bad heat rash. Working in teams has been a challenge for the past 3 semesters in this institution. This semester, I enrolled for a class in Facilitation and unexpectedly so, I have been placed within a group of 11 members. Our topic that we must present for in the next two weeks is “Learning from Life”. I knew we were set up to learn a lot from ourselves and from each other as different individuals. We were excited, afraid, some showed traces of maturity, in our group we have young and old students.

We are still learning or should I say trying to figure out what it is we will be doing to make our presentation meaningful and deliver food for thought for other groups to feed in, while we also take lesson from it. I guess we have to be creative as well _ I thought to myself. After class, we met as group to discuss a few pointers and because we were all over the place and had no direction. Matthew came to the rescue, the young man took off a lot of weight from our shoulders and he asked that we trust him to go and do some research while we also look for materials to use to add onto our preparation for the presentation.

We brain stormed a little further, but decided to meet up on Friday 09th Aug (Yes, a holiday), this was a sacrifice worth taking. These Saturday’s really can drain the leaving hell out of you, especially because we are used to being home…

Till we meet again on this spot… Push let’s go!!

Week 4: Functional Story Telling

I came across an amazing TedxTalk on YouTube this week. It had all the Aha moments!! I came across it while doing some research for our group presentation, which will be on Story Telling.

It can be accessed here:

This TedxTalk goes into the science of how story telling works. It explains the hormones involved, and what kind of mental states they bring about. I was blown away by the fact that there’s an actual science behind the emotional states caused by stories- it now makes sense how social media, electronic marketing and marketing in general are able to make us want things, make us want to do things. I hope it’s as eye-opening for others as it was for me. When someone tells me a story now, or even if I listen to a song or see an advert, I’m conscious of what strategy might be at play and what the motive may be for the way it’s portrayed.

Personal Reflection

What is personal reflection?

(1) Personal means one’s own. (2) Reflection means thought, consideration or meditation.

I believe that in life… experience is the best teacher. I have learned and realised so much about my self over the past years and my journey to self development is constant work in progress. I recall all my adversities and thankful because I grew and gained strength from my experiences. At times, when I go through trying times, I fail to look beyond the furnace but in hindsight, the furnace forces me to grow and look at my situation from a different angle. With maturity, I have learned to step outside, measure and observe the person that I am deeply, with positive or negative criticism. In so many instances it’s easier to find someone else to blame but when I take the time to be alone, reflect and reach deep inside my soul, the results are rewarding.

Being a person who is always in touch with my soul and emotions, after I closed down my franchise business I went through a disturbing period where I felt all sorts of confusing emotions. Not only did I close the business but my relationship with the franchisor went on a negative path where I was demeaned, exposed to endless verbal abuse and blamed for my failure. I remember feeling helpless and stagnant. I felt like the whole business failure blew up in my face because I didn’t go into business to fail but with an intent to be successful. I lost a great deal of money and my world was slowly turning upside down and I knew this because it started affecting my family. This was my turning point, I was weak but highly aware of changes that were happening, I was losing myself and immediately went into a self correction mode because I refused to stay in a dark pit. This was when I had a revelation and became true to myself. I sought professional help and had the opportunity to dig deep into my core finding myself again.

My psychologist assigned different tasks that helped me reflect and meditate deeply in order to find my light again and at this point I was reminded of the importance and benefits of self – reflection. I regained my strength and zest, faced all my challenges and pulled myself out of the pit .

Being out of the pit meant putting myself first, claiming back the confidence that I had lost, always speaking my truth, being truthful to myself and not being a slave to fear anymore. My reflective moments led to my revival and in each and every situation or challenge that I am faced with, I resort to stepping out of my bubble, analysing, criticising and observing myself because I know myself better than anyone and the journey to self-development continues.

My self – awareness has improved and I have learned to be present in my moments in life. I take a break from suffocating challenging experiences, calm myself, perceive it differently and look for positivity and this turns it around. Through it all…when I look into my mirror, I love seeing the person that is staring back at me. I fall in love with who I am everyday through personal reflection.

Personal Reflection

My heart was so sore that I missed the class due to death in the family. I relied on my group members for an update and the feedback I got was amazing. I really felt that I missed a life changing experience. The team learned about principles of engagement which defines the conditions and the manner which participants would like to hold the situation. They have also learnt about the principles of detachment which is not really about detachment or lack of care but about maintaining sense of humour and letting go. 

What stood out the most for me from the feedback that I received was the four principles for creating an open space. The first being whoever comes is meant to be there, thinking otherwise is a distraction.



Personal Reflection

This class was too somber for me. The feedback which was ultimately accepted was that it was more reflective than it was somber – to each his own. Alas, I believe there is something to be learnt in every experience.

The mirror was a good tool, while we may look into mirrors daily, I personally tend to take a quick glance as I prepare for the day and do not actually reflect. I do, however, practice spiritual reflections through a daily devotional time. I was intrigued that I was prepared to do that and “look into my soul” but blush at the thought of seeing my own reflection. So that tool unearthed a layer of a lack of confidence, something I am still grappling with.

For that, I thank the team for deliberately taking an unconventional approach to their workshop – well done…

Personal Reflection

Last Saturday’s class truly was an eye opener for me. As an adherent it was affirmed that the universe works in baffling approaches to bring you precisely what need at precisely the correct time. I asked myself;

“Lungelo had you not gone to this class today, do you think you would have known all these things about yourself, huh?” Well my answer was, “No”

I was so overwhelmed when we needed to share to one another about what makes one incredible in every others eyes. The stuff that individuals said about me was truly astonishing, adapting some other thing that I didn’t think about myself as well as other people affirming what I knew as of now. I had the option to assess myself and grasp a few things about me.

Self reflection encourages us with seeing where we originate from, how often we have fallen and how we have ascended solid each time we tumbled down.

Personal Reflection

Week 5 17 August 2019

Group allocation Life 1: A group of 6 wonderful ladies including our facilitator (Rosyln)

Mirror, Mirror on the table, tell me what do you see?

We share the same challenges as people, we go through life and experience near death situations or circumstances; even as simple as failing a quiz or exam. The one lady shared how she had 4 surgeries of brain tumor in 1 year. All these will humble you and you will look at life differently. I came across a near death situation and yet I still stand. I should stop being a victim and the longest time I would ask a question why me instead of saying or referring to what happened to me is….. Thoughts of being a victim overwhelmed my life, instead of finding healing I would recall the incident over and over in my mind and blaming others. I remember feeling that the police were not doing their job in finding the suspects and would drive around looking for the two men who victimized me. It took me nowhere instead I was unhappy, withdrawn and it affected my work, and it put a danger in the well-being of my unborn baby. What a mother would I be to my unborn CHILD? My mother played a very supportive role I had to choose to live happily again or miss out on life. I choose life.

“Life will humble you”

Roslyn an expect in facilitation shared tips on how we as people tend to choose the dance floor and not the balcony in all situation or problems we face. How we sometimes give advice to others and tend to use words like, “We think your relationship is not working out”; We dis-empowers people but if you use “I think your relationship is not working”; I is genuine. I need to start being honest and use words like I instead of people are saying this about you. We think you should….. Taking people’s problems to the dance floor is not an ordeal solution. I need to use the balcony approach and not to get to involved advise then step back. Know when advise is needed to not be part of the problem.

Letting go of non-beneficial situations. Learning how to use your two feet and walk away. The funny aspect is that the lecture was not planned according to Roslyn, she changed the presentation because something stated in her. Whatever happened had to happen. I remember someone crying at the end of the class. We are hurt, and we often need a reminder that it’s okay to cry its part of the healing process. Before the break we all got into our groups (Facilitation decision) and a task was given which was 2 questions. How I see my peers through my eyes? What will make you even greater. The feedback I got from my group mates was sincere, genuine and honest confirming what I already know or doubted. Never underestimate the power you carry around, people take notice.

What I learned from the class is:

  1. Advise then stay at the balcony, walk away, stop being too attach. Staying just in balance or the middle of all situation. Do not be part of the problem. Take myself out of the situation/ problem and view it from the outside (balcony): new eyes.  Stop carrying other people’s problem or burdens. Do not be quick to judge others. Listen more. We all have a story to tell but how we handle them determines the ending.

This class happened at the right time and place. Sad for our peers who did not attend. This was informative and very self-reflecting.

Thank you to our Facilitation mentors, Roslyn and Chiks


I have learned that team work foster creativity, and by embracing the diversity of characters and ideas it enables the team to collectively participate. Working in teams also teaches you conflict resolution skills because I had to fair in address issues and reemphasize the reason why we formed the team. Through the progress of working in teams you build trust and synergies that promote wider sense of ownership. Through the application of what I have learned in class about working in teams I have also learned that the concept of working in teams maximize the effectiveness of the performance, it can also improve the team morale, expertise, sense of ownership and ultimately will achieve the organization goal strategy of maximizing profits and good customer experience.

I also reviewed how my team work together to achieve a particular task using basic principles of working in teams concepts and I also implemented these principles in my personal capacity especially where I had one of automation project that I need to implement. During the process of this project I have realized that the stages of building teams is very critically and it includes: Forming, Storming, Norming, Performing and Adjourning (Forsyth, 2010). The Forming sage is the stage where I had to articulate clear projects goals and provide direction on what process we will follow to achieve the task. I also assigned the tasks based on the individual skills and capabilities. While the team was trying to understand each other’s roles, there was unproductive behaviors where some individual were not listening to each other, disagreeing on ideas, so I had to embrace diversity of thinking and encourage tolerance among team members and emphasize the main goal of our team. Norming stage, the team later started to agree on how team will progress, process of communication where they all agree on patterns of communications between the group members and on how they prefer to resolve conflicts and ultimately promote work collaboration. The performing stage, I utilize the individual member’s strength to promote interdependency, cohesiveness which signals the group strength, celebrate milestone and determination to achieve the goal. We are currently at this stage of achieving our goal because we are now testing the system and if all is well we are going live with the new automated process before the 10 September 2019. I cannot wait to finalize the task and share best practice, lessons learned from the team.

Working in Teams

What an amaizing synergy. Generally I am not a morning person unless I have been to gym however the long week that I had made waking up a mission this morning. Walking in just a few minutes before the team presented, yes I say to myself, I have made it right on time, just before the Check in.

Just some insight, so a Check in is a quality tool that creates an environment for production and meaningful conversations. And it’s purpose is to bring concerns and issues into the open so there aren’t unspoken thoughts. I cannot emphasise how important this exercise is especially when one’s a leader with a team or part of a team. At work, my team and I meet atleast twice a week just to touch base but what I realised is that those meetings would purely be work related with no human touch to them until about 2 weeks ago. We are still meeting but I have changed my approach by starting our meetings with Check in’s instead.

By so doing I have seen a change in attitude, my team’s attitude towards their work is amaizing to a point where I kept asking myself why did I not do this sooner. Irrespective of how strong we think people are, the truth of the matter is, everyone needs that little bit of affection, I mean we are human after all.

The team presenting also highlited some important points, the advantages and disadvantages of working in teams. An added benefit of working in a team is that we can split responsibilities and get the job done sooner however due to our differences those can make it difficult to reach a solution. What I enjoyed is the manner in which they chose to do this, they did not just stand there and read out the pro and cons, instead they wanted us as a class to engage in adding our thoughts. What an amazing approach I tell you.

Context is another word that is starting to become familiar. My manager is always emphasizing the importance of understanding my context when taking then through my presentations, little did I know that the same emphasis would be made in this facilitation class. “Know your audience is what I keep hearing”. Simon Sinek also emphasised the “importance of understanding your intent”. Why am I presenting what I am presenting? What am I hoping to achieve when delivering the message? Those are some of the important factors that need to stand out when facilitating. I have subconsciously started asking myself these questions before giving feedback on anything and realised that when I do that, things start to make more sense because the intent is highlited.

What I also learnt is that facilitation is about getting out of your comfort zone and being open minded to learn from others and that when facilitating the following attributes need to be present:

  • Coaching/ Mentoring
  • Teaching
  • Lecturing
  • Presenting
  • Gardening

I can honestly say my view in facilitation has trully changed. The importance of priorotizing was also highlited through a reading exercise we were given. I tend to underestimate the amount of time required to complete a task, spending most of my time on the least important things. How I intend to change this is by trying avoid procrastination by all means, the sooner I begin the better it is and the less anxious I become.

Those 6 stories we read were remarkable. In all those stories I Could identify a facilitator and the one thing they all had in common is that they challenged the status quo. They were innovative in finding solutions to help the people. They did not impose their believes in others by trying to change them. Instead, they stepped back and allowed others to be in leadership.

In conclusion, silence at times is key. Sometimes we just need to let our silence speak for itself and let others learn from that.


Working in teams

As much we have so much in in our lives, It is important to observe everything or anything that we do because as much as one came in for credits . Now i am seeing facilitation with a different eye. Now i have learned to blog, I am not a social media person doing only whatsup and sms (lol!!) I must try to explore and be open to new things.

I missed out on the presentation done by the Group. I arrived late however i managed to catch up after break because the activities done were very interesting. That is why they saying you be always on time so that you won’t miss out when presenting. My AHA moment was when we learned about Defining the below words:

Facilitation , Coaching, Teaching, Lecturing , Presenting and Gardening. The all have relationship and similarities and what i have learned is the Gardening part one look at nurturing the flower and you start by ploughing the seed and make sure you water the flower and take care of it.

With the other words mentioned above they have collaboration because any information learned you will nurture and apply it. It shows that team work is important some of the things are not done on our own we need each as a TEAM.

Staying in your lane


Today as I took my taxi around 6 o’clock in the morning to go to work from Soweto to Germiston.

I observed as the driver of the taxi I was in, driving and then decides to drive on the BRT busses route, I observe how the bus drivers just slow the process to frustrate the taxi drivers, who by right are not supposed to be driving there as it is in fact the bus route.

I smile to myself :), thinking why do we as people like to get on lanes that are not for us. What is wrong with just sticking to what you are supposed to do, in the way you are supposed to do it?

And the thought came to me, “stay in your lane”. How profound we would be if we were to do exactly what we are destined to do.

Yes, life is a challenge and you always have to be on the look out for opportunities, as they do knock softly. But would it  be that bad if we were to just relax and stay in our own lanes.

When you are in the business of selling flowers, can you stay in your lane and see your business grow? If you are a facilitator, can you stay in your lane of inspiring and guiding the process, instead of imposing your ideas on others?

Are we able to stay in our lanes in any aspect of our lives? Are you able to be a wife, a husband and stay in your lane for the betterment of your relationship?

Sometimes the journey is uneven, and people might try to juggle too many things at a time, to try and survive. But just as research has proven that multitasking is not as fruitful as anticipated, so is not staying in one’s lane.

While it might seem like you are accomplishing many things at once, research has shown that our brains are not nearly as good at handling multiple tasks as we like to think we are. In fact, some researchers suggest that multitasking can actually reduce productivity by as much as 40 percent! And not staying in your lane has the same effects, as you are not focused on one thing, that is doing what you are skilled at but trying to do many, which robs what you are good at.

Now, after the bus drivers have done their job of loading people in and then driving off, then the taxi drivers were given a pass. And as i continued to observe, I noticed how the cars we were behind, were long gone and we were still behind the bus.

So in closing, as much as there could be a delay in your process, and slow progress, keep in your own lane and it will payout some day. For slow progress is still progress, but in your own lane!!

A productive week, as we stay in our own lanes! 🙂


Week 4: Personal Impact and Learning from life.

Today’s blog is going to combine the information learnt in the course pack with the class facilitation topic: Learning from Life, because I really thing that the two will be easier to discuss this way.

Some lessons are achieved through experiences however through curiosity and a desire for self-awareness and personal growth, there are some experiences that you don’t need to wait for age to become aware of what is meaningful and worthwhile. In order to make an impact in life and to be able to combine your outer (form) and inner (substance) self, you will need to make an impact. As a facilitator in training, it is our aim to help others see and hear themselves, and others, more clearly, but in order to do this, the quality spiral will have to come into play. We will need to analyse the quality of out thoughts, our communication honesty, our integrity and our actions. We will need to be able to analyse situations quickly so that we can have a sum total of what we think, feel, understand and do. The same goes for the facilitated group.

Life is wasted on so much worry, regret, pain and heartbreak. Many people take these cases as a chance to give up, but for me, it is a chance to learn. I went through a breakup in February last year, and although we never ended the relationship in a fight, I was broken. He was my first love and we had been together for 3 years. Over the past year I have battled with depression, increased obsessive thoughts and a large amount of anxiety, but I have used my pain and my heartbreak to grow and to create a independent woman who is happier that the person she was in the past. I have been learning from life. I have become more respectful of things, more responsible and more disciplined. I have extroverted myself more and I am capable of expressing my opinion to people without the fear of rejection. In this way I have built relationships with others and really formed connections. I have transformed my personality to build trust and I understand the need for detachment. I have become better.

My break up killed a part inside of me that I have had to spend months and months to fix and grow. I now have an understanding of LOVE and I no longer despise the word, the feeling and the emotion. I know know that love is the answer and is why we are here. It is the force for food in this often random, painful and harsh world. It is a four letter word that has infinite power. I know now how to love myself, love my family and love my friends. I know now that it is not of extreme importance to only receive love from a significant other. I know that love is found in more than just that one individual.

Honouring differences

The group that facilitated tied down their main topic to “embracing different cultures”. It was pleasing to see the synergy and team work among them.

They each wore traditional attires of different cultural groups and what stood out was that they didnt represent their own but each espoused the other culture. It was such a mind opening session. Its amazing how one thought they knew about culture until so many interesting facts were said! I was just sad that my Tswana culture was not represented😌; with that being said what remains is that we are so diverse as a nation hence we are called the “rainbow nation”. It was a well researched and presented topic.

They explained,unlocked and got to demystify the many myths that were out there, particularly about the Ngunis. I learnt a lot about the history of King Shaka and Soshangane of the Tsongas and how they came about; and that the black ethnic group is infact divided into 4 groups which is Nguni,Sotho,Tsonga and Venda. By the way we might soon have 12 cultural groups should the Khoisan be afforded the inclusion, of which I think is fair.

Equal people; Equal rights

It was interesting to learn  that “braaied meat” is part of the Afrikaaners culture and that they also introduced biltong which is now a South African delicacy that we pride ourselves with in the entire world.

I felt proud of our history as a nation…and a rich diverse culture and heritage we carry.

Seeing with new eyes

We don’t see things the way they are. We see things the way we are. — Unknown 

We don’t live life devoid of bias or assumptions. And while there is nothing wrong with assuming, it is when assumptions become hurtful that it is wrong. 

Sometimes we need to shift our angle a bit, to get a different view. The fact that my view differs from you does not necessarily make me right. Conversely your difference of opinion doesn’t make you wrong. 

I should constantly check the thinking of my thinking. I am blessed to have a friend towards whom I can speak my mind without a need to sensor my thoughts. 

Iron sharpens iron and we should constantly challenge those in our circle to think about their thinking. 

I have often cautioned my kids against stereotyping, until one day when my son asked if what I was doing isn’t exactly that. 




The third week came and the next group’s topic was honoring difference. The group decided to focus on honoring cultural differences. Everyone was dressed representing a different culture in South Africa and when they introduced themselves they sang and praise clan name in the respective language and that was truly beautiful. They engaged us by opening the floor to ask us what do we now about the specific cultures. Through that exercise we realized we have unconscious biases and stereotypes about certain cultures and they demystified myths about certain culture . The session was well received, entertaining and educational. The groups are starting to incorporate Rosslyn’s feedback into the sessions.

We also learned about Principles of Detachments and how to use objective through practices Balcony and Dance. It is important to be able to read your audience.



Honouring Differences and Showing Up

The facilitation today was about honouring differences. I found the session quite interesting and insightful.
I found myself thinking about how in the diverse and colourful country we live in, we have such interesting cultures, languages, rituals and traditions.
This session provided me with insight into the interesting, different yet at times similar traditions and rituals. Sharing this information was fun as it made me realise that by keeping an open mind we can learn so much and be objective in how we view people.
The piece on how we all wear masks made me realise that at work I do wear a mask as a way to protect myself, however after this session I feel that this might be something I need to reconsider and approach differently.
The section on “showing up” was really insightful as it highlighted for me how it is important to “be present” and grounded when showing up. We all show up in different ways in different places, and how we do show up would be something we need to determine for ourselves.
The exercise we did on thinking style preferences was a highlight for me.This clarified for me how when working with groups of people consideration has been taken into account about how we all have different thinking preferences.This has an impact on teams work and at time if not considered can cause a certain amount of conflict.
Thinking style preferences will be something I will consider when working in a team as I now understand that allowing for and considering these styles will allow for the team to work more effectively and achieve the team objective.

Honouring the differences


Hairstyles are constantly evolving as a girl grows into a woman, as fashion trends change, as the seasons change, but, that’s just scratching the surface. Look deeper and you will find that culture, be it traditional, popular or political, holds greater power.

Hair is a women’s identity and without it we are nothing. Natural hair is considered bad in the work place, Most companies do not approve of Dreadlocks or natural hair but this was back in the 60’s

Now women rock they hair however they want to be it Dreadlocks, natural hair, Braids or weaves. Despite the negativity, more women wore their hair naturally as they adopted a healthier lifestyle and became aware of the potential damage of using chemical relaxers incorrectly.

Honouring Diversity

Certain ideas or issues may have a diverse different meaning to different people.

There are triggers to manage in every situation and group.. Debriefing is essential.

This is a safe and preferred platform where no one of the senses are discredited, no one’s ways are right or wrong. Warnings of triggers are a given we are vulnerable but safe.

I can say that this session has realised Ros’objective o  Page 10 in the handout… Through my experience in this class I am developing further insight I to who I am and am so ready to unleash my ability to impact, create trust, discuss meaningful issues and build support.

We are in for a good ride and an awesome show.

Thanks Ros


Honouring differences

My biggest lesson from honouring differences was that we learn more when we are not addicted to being right.. The other learning was that we must seek more to understand than to be understood. The fact of the matter is that change does bring chaos; but it’s how you view it that makes the difference. So, that is why honouring the differences is such an important way of ones life. Mention was made that “dialogue” means to turn together and it is punctuated by silence.

Week 4 – Honouring difference

The group was facilitating about cultural diversity. The members wore traditional outfits and honoured each other by swopping cultures and talked about the type of cultures represented within the group. 

We also did an exercise on cultural rituals and discovered that there are commonalities across cultures that they perform at birth, adulthood, marriage, death and after death. 

The second part of the session was about making a choice of showing up and being present (Power and control)… However what stood out for me the most was about staying genuine, telling the truth and being considerate when communicating with others without blaming or being judgmental. It also made me realised how I’m always in my armour (defense) when I go to work, and protecting my space. I’ve learned that and that once I take off my mask and allow to be vulnerable I’ll start connecting with others on a deeper level and start building trust and relationships with others – To be honest I am battling with this mastery, I’m still learning to unlearn certain habits. 

I believe honouring differences should be instilled and encouraged at an early age in order to break down stereotyping. 


This subject was presented by my syndicate group. I want to admit to the initial difficulty of settling on a facilitation approach. In fact i was almost certain that the angle we setlled on would not work at all. To my pleasant surprise. In my opinion we definitely exceeded expectations. I took from this a lifelong lesson: everybody is right!!! At least as far as facilitation goes. Well done team, I am truly inspired.

Honouring our Differences

This week’s syndicate group topic was honouring difference, which they narrowed it down to honouring culture. Culture is a strong part of people’s lives. It influences their views, their values, their hopes, their loyalties, and their worries and fears. So I’ve learnt that when you are working with people and building relationships with them, it helps to have some perspective and understanding of their culture.

We then discussed the four fold way major principles that integrate ancient cultural wisdoms into contemporary life ( the warrior, visionary, healer, teacher). While discussing these, I have learnt that it is very imperative to be conscious of how you show up as an individual.

I had loads of fun and learnt a lot about presence, about “showing up” and not just arriving. Presence is everything, it determines how people will perceive you and how they will respond to and interact with you. Showing up is about being present, being aware.

What an awesome experience, I had a lot to take in from this class.

Honouring Difference

I wasn’t sure what the group’s interpretation would be on honouring difference and as a result their colourful traditional outfits did not make sense at first.  Then we were schooled on the different cultures except of course Afrikaners. We were reminded however that there is a commonness in our diversity and that which separates us unites us in the end.

With every class I attend on facilitation I realise that it’s more than just about learning to facilitate, a big part of it is about self mastery. I leave every class with more questions than answers. Questions about me and how I interact with the world. How do I show up as an introvert? When and how do I make my presence felt?

Honoring Differences

I am the person who loves travelling and the minimal travelling in the world that I undertook has taught me to be open minded and know that we are all different. The topic that was discussed today emphasized that people are different and we should acknowledge that.

I have learnt that sometimes it is important to acknowledge and  honor the differences that other people may have without judging. The differences are not intended to seperate or alienate us, we are different precisely in order to realize our need for each other.  The facilitation on this topic also taught me that being if a person is different from me, it does not mean that I must disrespect them. I should rather learn from them.


Honouring Difference

I am learning everytime as I get into the class. Splendid to the group facilitated on the topic. I was impressed with the group’s idea of culture. Life would have been different if were consciously able to honour differences in a sense that it wouldn’t matter whether you are green, red, black or white but the fact is that you are human but different.
Imagine how diverse South Africa is today with different demographics around ethnicity, culture and race. How we can rally around the flag and embrace these differences and be patriotic about our beloved county? I believe honouring our differences would make the Ubuntu idea to be celebrated and honoured even beyond our borders. Thanks to the group from an interesting facilitation. I had a lot to take home and would be able to apply your ideas in my social life.

Honoring difference

This was one of my favorite facilitations that i saw. The facilitators showed that they were well prepared and they put in effort into their presentation. Each member of the group came in with different cultural attires to convey a clear message that South Africa has various beautiful cultures, with so many different believes. We should all appreciate, honor  and embrace them.

We then later formed groups, and in those groups we had to introduce ourselves and give backgrounds of each other. Truth to be told that session cleared a lot of perception i had about people. You can never really know what a person is about, what they value in life, what their believes, morals and attitudes are, until you get to know them. I remember we had a very interesting topic about marriage, and how men and women perceive marriage. it was very interesting to learn how so many people see marriage in so may ways.

Week 4 – Blog 4- “Honoring Difference”

Week 4 – Blog 4- “Honoring Difference”

Week 4 .was done by the group facilitating on Honoring difference.

These group facilitated very well by presenting different culture outfits.This was a great set up even from the class sitting arrangement . All cultural items were facilitated with honor, i felt so great to see other people considering other’s culture with respect and love.

The session was so informative for me hence there were releasing important information such as how it was agreed to choose the 24th of September as an Heritage day in South Africa for me this was so informative and i did not know for real about this revelation.

The group members dressed in their beautiful, respective traditional wear, to convey the message that we are all different and belong to different ethnic groups, but we all constitute a rainbow nation. Indeed it was great facilitation and informative as well.The exercise of brain that we completed for brain dominance was also good for my own sake.

What a wow day of learning ,honoring , respecting and loving people with their cultural life style.I told myself to accept and compromise on people’s ceremonial  practices which shows their cultures and way of doing things on : Birth, Initiation, Marriage and Death.  I was linking the way of doing these things, to the negative forces and only believed in Christians ways of doing things now that i understand and i will accept and give them space to practice their believes but not practicing them as for me it is christ’s way as the holy book (the bible) tells.

This facilitation session of honoring differences has changed my way of seeing things.

Thank you.

Seeing with new eyes

As we meander through life’s many adventures, we encounter many travellers on our journey with each as unique as the rest. When you consider that of the billions of residents on this planet, there are none who share the same finger print; we are each individually and uniquely created.

We spend all day staring into screens of devices which tell us where friends have eaten lunch and what’s trending on the other side of the globe and yet we often miss the things, and people, right in front of us.

Today’s group shed a much-needed light on the plight of the unseen residents of our streets. The ones we cringe when passing; the ones we avoid eye contact with when waiting for the lights to change at the intersections we use everyday.   The ones we paint into the cityscape  as fixed objects whose presence we ignore and often reject.

The experience shared by the group members of a night on the streets with the homeless community was really effective in changing my personal view on homelessness and members of that community.  I learnt that it wasn’t a self-inflicted misery to be judged and frowned upon and that some individuals are not there  because of addictions and mental illnesses but also because of unexpected misfortunes which left them homeless and destitute.

When considering Halle Berry, Steve Harvey, Eric Thomas and several other widely successful individuals were once homeless, we are reminded not to judge people by where they are, but by who they are.

Week4: Honouring Differences

Today I learn that I’ve taken it for granted the way woman look at their hair. Perhaps it is because of the fact that I am one of those woman that don’t spend too much time maintaining my locks and consider myself as one of those lucky woman that can get away with a ‘wash and go’ kind of look or is it perhaps how I KNOW how to style my hair. lol… Or just simply go with a style that I know suits me, even if that means wearing it for the longest time as possible.


Today’s facilitation made me aware of the many different kinds and forms of weaves that are actually available out there.

Contrary to popular beliefs, the most important thing that I learnt from today’s facilitation is that weaves, extensions and braids are a look that people from across racial lines embrace and wear, Thanks to this facilitation fro this enlightenment.


I also learnt that a woman dignity is worn on your head, hence called your crown, so what you choose and how you choose to wear your hair ie. ‘crown’ says a lot about you (as a woman).

Honoring differences according to how we engage with one another and how we learn and absorb things as individuals is definitely also something that I took away from today’s lesson.

I’ve learnt that I am an extremely visual person and that when I talk I draw pictures in my minds eye about what I want to say and achieve. An epiphany for me indeed!


Honouring Difference

I came into this weeks class not knowing what to expect. The group that was presenting had a different attire based on their home language. The had outfits for the following cultures: Zulu, Xhosa, Shangaan, multicultural etc. What was fascinating was the fact that they individually introduced their culture and gave a small background about the culture that they presenting.

Something intriguing was the fact that an individual who was Motswana was wearing a regalia of a different culture to hers. They updated us on different cultures , where they originate and what they are well known for. I have learned that any soldier that came back from the war with the stabbing at the back got killed. It is believed that he had the stabbing at the back from running away instead of standing firm and fight for his people.

I have also learned how warm and peaceful Shaka Zulu was in relation what I have read about him in the media that he was aggressive.

Honouring Difference

(a respectful greeting said when giving a namaskar.a traditional Indian greeting or gesture of respect, made by bringing the palms together before the face or chest and bowing.)

(a respectful greeting said when seeing a person, to acknowledge their presence. a traditional Zulu greeting.)

(a respectful greeting said when seeing a person, often followed by their name, to signal that one is seen and acknowledge
and therefore they too must agree and acknowledge being seen by seeing and acknowledging the other.)

One cannot honour difference without acknowledging difference. Acknowledging a thing means to see a thing. And oftentimes we do not see each other.The group facilitating this week’s topic was very brave to say the least. Chattering on very delicate, sensitive, dicey and political terrain: a black woman’s hair. I must admit I was unsettled and triggered in that space. Needless to say it was a heavy class. It was amazing the doors of the mind and the heart this particular class opened. During feedback session, one of the group members apologised to a classmate for being rude. She admitted to being triggered by their question and hence her reply. Her bravery caused a ripple effect which sparked a confession from another group member and the classmate directed to was me. In that moment, a 2 year long silent feud evaporated. Another classmate from the second week’s facilitation came out with her own confession, an internalisation of feedback that was perceived wrongly. That air too was cleared.

When we distance ourselves from a thing and stop being the centre from which all things revolve, we stop and see and acknowledge we are not in isolation. We embrace lovingly than battle warringly. Sometimes we are in conflict with people who are not even in conflict with us, some even unaware there is a conflict. Different doesn’t mean bad, but mannier times out of fear of what we do not know we often battle. We assume and conclude the worst without even knowing the full story. Assigning stereotypes and cheating ourselves out of meaningful experiences. None of us is innocent.

Because this class was heavy and got personal, I have not much to write about here. But it stamped a truly important lesson: that of truly seeing. And it is my hope that you see me. Before you draw me, see me. Before you confine me, see me. Before you label me, see me. truly and nakedly see!
And this is what the native traditions of greeting teach me. In all of these greetings, all three mentioned herein, the person greeting first stops and focuses their attention on the subject of their greeting, sees them, acknowledges them and allows them a response. It says it is not always about us. And that we must take a moment to come face to face with another’s heart and exchange humility. To address then someone or thing by their or its name means to know what or who you are addressing, or signals the intention thereof.

As we honour each other and our differences; It is my hope then to see you and address you by your name.



11 August – Honouring the difference

By now, I knew exactly what to expect in class.  My confidence was on the high level.  Remember I started the class a week after everyone has started, so in this class I was the “late boomer”.

This week’s group topic was honouring difference.  The group aligned  the topic with different types of hair that we have.  Our hair differs from being relaxed, natural hair, weave, Afro, etc.  Also, they touched on “what your hair say about you” type of argument.   For me the topic was exciting,  but I hoped, another angle was taken  other than the hair.

The topic was a bit sensitive for some, and personally I really didn’t know how to participate in the debate or how to answer questions.

Ok, maybe I’ll come back and re-write about this.

Till later, I’ll finish up later.

Unconscious Bias

I believed I was a very fair person until this class showed me my real face. I am mindful of others feelings, that’s probably why no one sees through my bias. I can say the most brutal thing in the nicest of way. This to be was assertiveness, but the truth is that I was very judge-mental and thought I was the only person anywhere at any time with the most awake brain. Don’t get me wrong I respect everyone regardless of their social standing but I am very judge-mental. With the help of this class I am learning and listening more to others, collaborating with them in finding solutions to their problems without thinking I have the best resolution…and often that tends to help in coming up with the best result.

Week 4: Honouring differences

On this day, group facilitated on honouring the difference, what I thought was most confusing is how facilitators were wearing the different cultural outfits but representing a different culture. I later discovered that this was very much deliberate. This was the groups ways of showing diversity. I really enjoyed this facilitation, got to know about Shaka Zulu, which some of the facts I wasn’t aware of.

We later split into our syndicate groups unpacked this topic some more. It was also highlighted that as much as we are different we are similar at a certain level.  we also discussed the different phases all cultures go through, from birth, Initiation, marriage and death.T this for me was so interesting and also I realized in most cultures women I expected to allow the men to be coming up the rules and women need to just follow. This is something that is still very much prevalent and as woman we need to understand. I think this is a broader topic for another day as it is  so close to my heart.

This also brings me to topics discussed regarding substance and form. The amount of work one puts into preparation will show once one is facilitating a group.  The most one that I will attempt to use in my everyday life is being open to the outcome and not attached to the outcome. This for me applies in my everyday life. When I meet knew people I don’t place then in a box and decide this is who they are but allow the process of getting to know them. Just like this facilitation class, I came in with preconceived ideas and luckily enough my mind changed almost in the first session. I am learning to be more open to outcomes and not attached to the outcome.

Honouring difference – 11 August 2018

Not only are we learning in different ways; we are a very diverse nation.

Learning more about yourself (self-actualisation) helps one identify commonalities to people you may think you have nothing in common with.


The team that facilitated this week, demonstrated commonalities and differences amongst different cultures and population groups found in South Africa.


What you find interesting in cultures is that we have rituals around the same or similar events and those include:

  1. Birth
  2. Initiation
  3. Marriage
  4. Death


Part of honouring difference is recognising that we learn differently.


Some of the different ways of learning are:

  • Visual (spatial): those would prefer using images and resounding understanding
  • Aural (auditory-musical): those who prefer hearing. They prefer audio/sound and music.
  • Verbal (linguistic): those prefer using words, both in speech and writing.
  • Physical (kinaesthetic): these learners prefer using their bodies, hands and sense of touch. They prefer feeling things.
  • Logical (mathematical): these leaners prefer using logic, thinking and structures.
  • Social (interpersonal): these people prefer to learn in clusters/groups or with other people.
  • Solitary (intrapersonal): these learners prefer to work alone or independently of others..


I have decided to get more information on the Swazi people’s culture and origin. We will see how that plays out because my dad is Swazi but he has no information about his people…



Week 4: Honouring Difference

The session began with the facilitation of group 3, whose topic was “Honouring Difference”.  The group focused on the variety of cultures that we enjoy in South Africa.   Each member of the group dressed in a specific cultural attire, which was not their own culture.  This for me was just a beautiful sight, especially after the story we read the previous week “The Africa Dress”, which also spoke about how Mrs. Zanele Mbeki embraced the Afrikaner culture and proudly (and more so bravely) wore it for the world to see.

We had done some homework on Personal Impact and Learning Agility.  The exercise showed us that we are different in the way we think about things, the way we talk and how we talk about things, the way we sort information in our brains works differently for different people.  Most importantly, I learnt that it is possible for someone to teach differently to how I learn because we are not ‘wired’ the same.  What grabs my attention, may not be what grabs my neighbor’s attention because I am a visual being, whereas they may be Kinaesthetic.  I now understand why certain things bore me sooner than others.

This session assisted me in realizing that I have to be more aware of how I speak to people, especially at work, when I’m trying to make them ‘see’ my point.  I have to consider that they may not be visual like I am, and therefore I may need to adopt a different strategy in order to make them understand what I’m saying to them.

I learnt that there’s a difference between introvert and a person wo is shy, and an extrovert and a vocal person.  I am more of an introvert, but I don’t necessarily struggle to express myself.  I tend to think before I speak, which may be mistaken as being ‘slow’.  It is no use talking without thinking because then there’s usually no substance to what is being said (Substance & Form).

Week 4 – Honoring Differences #Celebrating Diversity

Today’s topic was honoring differences. The syndicate group that was presenting did very well in educating us on different cultures, and I got see how beautiful diversity is and even though we are different and have different cultures, there are some rituals that are common to every culture, these are Birth, Marriage, Initiation and death.

Last week we touched a little upon these rituals, but we didn’t have enough time to discuss everything, so this week especially with the topic being “Honoring differences” we all got to talk through this rituals and it was quite fascinating to learn about people’s culture and rituals, what I also absolutely enjoyed is how open people were. A few myths here and there were corrected about certain things we knew to be true about other culture. My eyes were opened to the fact that if you ask genuinely because you want to understand, your questions will definitely be answered. We truly have a beautiful county and what makes it even more so is its diversity.



Topic for group 3 was honouring differences. The topic is very complex and informative especially looking at the state our country is in. They were focused on cultural differences amongst South Africans and their different tribes.

The group came dressed in different traditional attires, the presentation blew my mind. The put more emphasis on the importance of appreciating and respecting other cultures, and they finalized by saying we are all different and unique but we all belong to one rainbow nation.

Week 4: Honoring Difference

Whereas the group that gave us the presentation did their best in drawing a picture about the magnitude and importance of cultural difference, I would have loved to see the depth of appreciation of personal and individual difference between persons. It is indeed important to acknowledge cultural differences, but within each culture there is indeed still differences that exists at a deeper level, between different individuals.

The importance of such difference lies in the complexity of varying perspectives which are the basic raw materials of the cultural differences. At a deeper level, we hold different perceptions and perspective about the world and different opinion is based on this. So it would have been nice to see a demonstration of this level of difference so that we can understand the importance of recognizing and respecting difference not only in culture, but also in individual viewpoints. However, the group did well and nothing can be taken away from them.

Free your mind and see with new eyes!

On this day one group presented about setting our minds free.  We learnt methods on how to deal with stress which I found very exciting and helpful. What stood out for me was the EFT method of dealing with stress. EFT was described as an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is something that can be learnt quickly (in a matter of minutes) and can help you to feel better immediately. EFT is often also called “tapping”. EFT involves verbalising the problem or issue in hand whilst using an affirmation phrase and tapping energy points on the body.

Seeing with new eyes

As human beings, we see the world through lessons and the environment dictates that.  Perceptions are gathered by many things. There are much truth and one need to double click words before reaching conclusions.  I was fascinated by the fact that when we were asked on how we perceive being Rich and one guy in class responded that Rich to him is family when the rest of the class thought being rich was about money.  This puts an emphasis on the fact that words carry meanings we are attached to. Do I really double click on word before I reach a conclusion that everyone understands what I am saying?

The way we perceive things is different. What makes us happy does not make the next person happy.  Perception is what we see and our motives are determined by our needs and wants. Human being cannot make assumption but are wired to make assumptions to make meaning of the world. Learning about biasness made me realise that as human beings we tend to make unconscious biasness meaning, we make judgement at a speed of a light without even realizing it.

I have learnt to understand the different types of biasness:

  • Conformity bias – swayed by majority e.g black women and hair. Wearing weaves to sell products. This conforms to the general view.
  • Similarity bias – Gravitational to people who are similar to us.
  • Gender Bias – All CEOs being tall men.
  • Ethnicity – racial bias



Honouring Differences: Week 4

I unfortunately missed out on what was said to be a brilliant facilitation piece, What a shame 🙁

This week we got to see not only differences in everyone but also our similarities. Getting put into groups with our matching scores and communicating with each group on how they see each other. This was very eye opening. This helped in my everyday life as it helps to show why different people act/react the way that they do.

The quiz that we did was my aha moment because it actually gave me a great insight on who I am which really help in a test that I wrote after the fact, I took the information and used a more visual means of studying and I got a distinction in that test. I will definitely be using that in the future.

My aha moment came when we were put in groups and I saw that most of my team mates were in the Visual sensory preference group and only one was in Kinaesthetic group, this opened my mind as I remembered him constantly asking us to run through the facilitation piece for him to see. Makes sense looking back why he needed that.

Honouring Difference

Today’s class was all about honouring our differences. The group that facilitated dressed up as different SA cultures and they gave us different facts about each culture. I found this facilitation very interesting and informative. I was slightly let down that they only represented Afrikaans people as liking ‘boerewors and potjiekos’, I’m sure there is much more to us than that LOL.

One pearl that I took from today’s facilitaion is that people all think differently. Some think and perceive with their ears, others with their eyes and other by physically doing an activity. This has reinforced one thing that I value – Respect the way other people think, just because it’s not you would do it doesn’t necessarily mean its wrong.

Honouring the difference

The day Saturday 11th August has finally arrived. After battling to fall asleep thinking about our presentation for today, now it has to take place. although I came prepared and so is my team, I haven’t stand in front of people presenting for a while.

The theme/topic for our presentation today is “Honouring the difference” below please see the picture of our team ready for action.

Although I tried to put on a brave face, I couldn’t wait for the presentation to be over. Today brings back the memories of my first day at school. As you could see from the photo above, our team members were embracing different cultures (not necessarily theirs). I am a Pedi man but I am embracing the Basotho culture. At the end of the day, I am proud because the message was loud and clear.

As the day goes by, Roslyn started elaborating on the value of showing up “how do you show up”. She mentioned that most people in the workplace wear musks. Roslyn said that the warrior is the person who is able to take the amour off. I liked it and always remember when Roslyn said that showing up does not mean you have to be naked.

I have learned a lot today and I have now started realizing that Facilitation is so broad and is not just about standing in front of people. Now that the presentation is over, I can feel that I have gained a lot and have gained some confidence and has realized how a message can be transferred to the audience/learners via presentation.

Presentation Feedback:

I liked it when one lady said she is not happy with one of our team member who is representing the Afrikaans culture. This is how she put it “I have noticed one of your team member who represented Afrikaans culture but said FOKOL!”.

Another day of learning and upping my Facilitation Skills!

Honouring Differences : Defending out uniqueness?

This week left me a bit shaken but also taught me a tip to use when its my group’s turn to Facilitate. Passion is super great however one needs not get too attached to the subject matter that they personalize the content. Why? simply because it leads to one now finding the feedback no longer as what it is (feedback) but rather now as attacks that need to be defended.

The exercise that we did on the Brain dominance etc. made me realize that we cannot all be the same, in our groups there will be differences however they need to embraced. you must not (that’s just a note to self) force people to think and do as you do, because we are programmed differently thus we look achieve the same goal just the ways will not be the same and it a good thing.

Above all I think my son benefitted more from this class as since this class I’ve learned to just let him be him and not enforce the do like I do philosophy I’ve been using for the past 4 year. Honestly our relationship has improved, have more patience for him than before so says my mother.

Honouring Difference

The dictionary describes the word difference as “a point or way in which people or things are dissimilar”. This word so often carries a negative connotation because in so many ways we have conditioned ourselves to believing that “difference” in the context of being human, is wrong or bad and ought to be excluded or isolated. There can often be a level inferiority / superiority complex when recognizing “difference”,  be it conscious or unconscious. This could range from difference in opinions, culture, socio-economic backgrounds, religion, beliefs, values etc.

So often we lose sight of the very fact that it is these differences that make us unique and give us our distinction. Therefore we should aim to respect and honour each others differences as we can truly learn and even better ourselves through this process. The group facilitation today on did an excellent job in relaying the importance of accepting and respecting that we are all different cultural backgrounds.

This week we also spent some time learning about thinking style preferences and brain dominance patterns. The exercise we did was quite interesting because it reinforced what I knew about myself but more importantly it helped me realize how I could adapt in certain settings when dealing with people who fall within the auditory and kinaesthetic preferences. We learnt an interesting technique of identifying peoples thinking style preference by asking them a question and noting their reactions when going to their “mental storehouse”, kinaesthetic people will look down, auditory people will look left to right and visual people will look up. I have since been having quite the time testing this theory on random people and its been quite the eye-opener. I suspect my son to be of the kinaesthetic preference while my daughter on the other hand has again proven to be an absolute mum’s girl and is totally a visual like myself. The jury is still out on my husband.

Week 4

Well done to this weeks facilitation group, titled ‘Honouring Differnces’, they expanded on the many cultural differences in our beautiful African country.
A BIG thank you to all for teaching me new things about the different cultures. I am always quite embarrassed to realise that I have lived in Africa my entire life (excluding the 6 months abroad), and yet know very little about the different cultures which surround me on a daily basis. So thank you to you all for putting on such a great performance and the lessons well communicated.

This weeks take-away was learning about the different brain dominance patterns. Although I have been taught on this before, it was a great reminder and I think a lot more beneficial to me now.
We often do not consider or think of the different ways people tick (for lack of a better expression), and many times do not understand or judge others too harshly in their differences because they do not operate or do things the way we do.
Understanding the brain dominance patterns, definately gives me a different outlook and will assist in me being more patient when working with people of different brain dominance’s.

Honouring Difference

Attending week by week the topics are making sense more and more it’s all coming together in it’s own way. It starting to come together, I am starting to identify my strong and weak points, my capabilities not that I don’t know them but attending every week I discover something different about myself. I enjoyed the group presentation in the beginning its about speculation you wonder what it will be about when you see the different props ect. Once the introduction is done and they engage with the rest of the class you get to understand the massage they bringing across, and i must say I got the massage loud and clear no matter where you come from, your race,gender, age, skin colour we are all different and we should embrace who we are and not live by what society expects from us. Most importantly we as people we should respect that we different and that we can’t be the same or can’t be what you expect me to be.

Lesson learned we live in a diverse country and we all diverse , we should acknowledge our differences and respect other peoples views and opinions and that we learn from each other each and everyday. As a facilitator you should know your audience , engage with them in such a way that you accommodate the differences in them and that know feels left out.

Honouring Difference

It was our turn to present. The pressure was on.  The endless preparing altering, decisions, arguing and compromises had to be made.

This taught me how to not only work in  a group, but to also take in to effect other group members input.  This was truly a lesson in honouring our differences as a team. Knowing that we are working as a collective, with different thoughts, ideas but all for the major 1 goal, preparing for our turn to facilitate.

This makes you start to appreciate the groups that have already presented and respect them more. This is no easy task, defiantly not a walk in the park, to put it mildly. Lots of work goes into preparing the end results, and mistakes for the perfectionist like me will and did happen, but you learn and move on. I started to see and admire my group members more.  This created a safe space within the group, which I took for granted.

After the presentation, I certainly never thought that our chosen topic would create such a stir among the class, boy was I wrong. Sometimes you touch on a topic without having to create a safe environment and cater for trigger areas that might be triggered, and how to unpack it all.

Words being used, are interrupted in so many ways, by so many people. I guess one should really know they audience well, or do in-depth research.

Standing on the balcony, I can see perhaps the topic we have chosen could have been presented differently and as a group we could have taken perhaps a lighter route. But, without having had taken this route, how else would one have learned.

Ntombi Dhlamini 

Honouring the Differences

Well :-), this week brought a huge smile to my face because my group was facilitating.

Before I start talking about my experience, I would like to introduce you to my AWESOME Group:

From Left: Jerry, Mbali, (Me) Lebo, Mulalo, Mpumi, Gugu and bottom is Lucky. Unfortunately we missing Thabang in the picture.

I guess the picture says it all.

We were honouring different cultures. We decided to bring a little bit of twist to it, by having each member of the group introduce and represent their own culture while wearing a different traditional attire.

Being afforded the opportunity to facilitate and putting things that I have learned into practice really opened me up to the  reality of what facilitation is all about. I truly fell in love with the course.




Honouring Difference

This week I attended the morning class because I had a commitment in the afternoon I could not get out off. This meant getting to meet new people. The group that was facilitating were dressed in different traditional attires, their focus was on honouring different cultures. Regardless of who you are or where you live, chances are you will eventually interact in some way with a culture that is different from yours. It is important that we learn to appreciate and respect other cultures. I loved how different cultures were represented in the facilitation, I really enjoyed learning about the different cultures; what each culture is mostly known for and I also learnt that In KwaZulu-Natal, 24 September (Heritage Day) was known as Shaka day in commemoration of the Zulu King 🙂 .

During the group discussions it was really interesting to learn about how different cultures practice common rituals such as birth, initiation, marriage and death. It was amazing to learn how each of these rituals are practiced in other cultures, culture shapes our identities and cultural diversity makes us accept and respect other cultures.

Before the lecture we were asked to fill out an electronic assessment which focused on thinking style preferences. This made me appreciate and respect how different we are in the way we understand or filter information, for example my brain dominance is the left side ; meaning I prefer details, order, structure and someone with the right brain dominance will prefer seeing the whole picture and forming mental pictures. So in understanding such differences/similarities it becomes more like a tool to anticipate how others understand information.

Lastly what stood out as well was the discussion about showing up. Its important that you show up in spirit, body and mind, knowing who you are and being aware of who you are. Be aware of how you show up. Are you walking with your head up high, with confidence? HOW DO YOU SHOW UP?

Week 4

Today’s facilitation started off with honoring cultural differences. Culture is a strong part of people’s lives. It influences their views, their values, their hopes, their loyalties, and their worries and fears. So I’ve learnt that when you are working with people and building relationships with them, it helps to have some perspective and understanding of their culture

Another thing that really drew my attention was when we did activities of having more believe in yourself. Today’s class taught me I shouldn’t constrain myself to a limit when I know I can go beyond it. If you don’t believe that it’s possible to do better then it makes it hard to achieve better. Nothing will work for you if you don’t believe in it and nothing will work if you don’t believe in yourself.

Week 4 – Honouring the Differences

Today we were working through our learning, thinking, communication etc., styles that we had for homework. I don’t remember all the details because in some cases it seemed as if the different biases overlapped but what I do remember is that we are all the same, but different things work for different people. I liked when we were broken up into groups and we had to say who we are and others had to say who they were and why. It made it so much more relatable in a real life sense as appose to academic. I think the take away for me here was I never considered honouring our differences can include our different types or styles of thinking or communicating. This definitely made me more appreciative of others and especially at home were I live with detailed communicators and creatives.

respecting differences

in this  class i learn something new each week . i never anticipated the impact this class would have on me especially in such a short space of time.

in this week’s class i learned how important it is to simply acknowledge differences .i thought to myself  how could i have missed such a simple concept,i realized that i have been making assumptions about a lot of people in my life ,i thought i understood differences but to my surprise i did not.i am one person who always finds fault with everything  and being too quick to judge  not recognizing that we are all unique and different in our own way .hens i never asked people around me  about their feelings or opinions i just figured i new them cause they are in my life.i realize now i couldn’t have been more wrong ,i now see the importance of acknowledging and honoring  personal and their differences .as a result i have  built  better  relationships with people around me even strangers.  i now have a better understanding of the world and the people around thank you facilitation for opening my eyes  yet again . so thank you

Honouring Difference

It was good to see that in-through our 3rd facilitation group, to experience a different sitting arrangement; group members dressed in their beautiful, respective traditional wear, to convey the message that we are all different and belong to different ethnic groups, but we all constitute a rainbow nation. The power of showing up and choosing to be present, the degree of how much people can conclude about us, just by the way we chose to show up to situations. Learning that as people we view the world from different perspectives, ones reality is different from others and as we interact with people, we have the power to choose what to look for as we will find it, whether good or bad. The brain exercise tool that we completed and did an exercise on the attributes of our brain dominance.

Honoring Difference

Week by week it becomes more interesting, having to see different group facilitate. This weekend group 3 topic was Honouring different cultures, I was confused at the beginning thinking it’s a heritage presentation, not until Thabang one of the member in the group started with a great introduction about honouring difference which was very great, clarity of the content and context was clear, they understood their audience, engagement and tools used including researching their topic. Confusion in the beginning was cleared very well at the end of the facilitation, it was insightful cause personally didn’t know how heritage day 24 September came about and  shaka zulu history and that he didn’t discriminate any one actually everyone wanted to become part of the zulu army. The zulu’s are ethnic group of southern Africa and the largest ethnic group in South Africa. I also learnt that isiZulu is south africas most  widely spoken  official language. I  personally learnt so much from the group and I wish they could have covered other nations as well. I don’t think we will ever forget group 3 facilitation moments cause it was beautiful and colourful, that stood out for me wasthat the AHA moments!!

It was amazing when Roslyn gave each group an opportunity to provide feedback to the group that was facilitating in the morning, mostly it was positive feedback cause overall they did great. Roslyn also mentioned that Shaka Zulu is one of her Hero as she elaborated few example and one of her friend wrote a book about Shaka.  We touched  few things in our exercise book  about the Four-Fold way, which talks about how does one show up and choose to be present. We did few amazing exercises more like body stretching and that if you believe in something an put your mind to it nothing is impossible, She also touch on difference between the warrior and the leader, as well as  control and power. Aha moments for me was when Roslyn touched on  the Archetype of the Healer , archetype of a teacher , one of the example was Teacher is open to outcome not attached to outcome and facilitator needs to be open to outcome, not attached to outcome. It is known that traditional teacher has a red pen to mark always.

We also did the electronic assessment that was sent to us on Monday, it was about the learning style and we were grouped together according to our assessment result, brain dominance patterns high percentage on left brain and right brain, on sensory preference we grouped ourselves together according to percentages, like your kinaesthetic Roslyn explained further that Kinaesthetic they prefer physical or emotional experience, touching, feeling, holding, doing and practical hands on experience, she further explains Visual people they prefer to see or observe things, that includes  pictures, diagrams, flip chart and demonstration etc. With Auditory style this people prefer to transfer information through listening. It was great when Roslyn did some opposite exercises asking the visual people what do they think about Auditory people and Auditory people what do they think about kinaesthetic people, it was verse versa kind exercise. Last exercise that we touched on assessment was information sorting styles difference between details and bigger picture which it was more fun exercise of the day.

We lastly touched on Experience learning model where learning seen as cycle made up of four stages, being Concrete experience a direct experience addressed issues, Reflective observation this is to reflect on our experience, Abstract conceptualization at university level you starts here and create theory for yourself and last but not least.  Active experience as facilitator this require one to go out and observe other people, exploring ideas.

This week lesson I have learnt so much and eye opener, it was value adding and time was not on our side, let the facilitation journey continue, I go with a flow.


So today, my A-HA moment arose with the “double-click” exercise.  Words carry meaning!  

As an English first language speaker, I am not oblivious to this fact, I was, however, blissfully ignorant of the exact impact of this statement.  

When we speak, we do not always set the context of our words.  I, myself do not always remember that everyone has their own “lens” through which they construct their

views.  Based on their own life and life experiences.  People have many truths.  I tend to generalise when speak, laziness, I think.  And then I wonder why I get frustrated when I end up explaining myself over and over again.  It all makes so much sense now.  It is my responsibility to ensure that when I speak we all have a shared understanding.  To make sense of the “lens” through which others are looking.  How they might perceive what I say.

Every week the meme, “we listen to respond, we don’t always listen to understand”, rings truer and truer


Honouring differences


I love this quote by Anne Frank, it speaks a lot to the thoughts I had throughout Group Four’s facilitation, I kept thinking “even though our cultures are different, at the core, we are all the same..” We all want to be loved and respected despite (or even especially because of) our differences.

Week 4 facilitation class related to different thinking and learning styles and honouring those differences. It was interesting to learn that I learn (best) through listening. I wasn’t surprised though, it just put a lot into perspective. Like how a few months ago, I visited a friend who lives in what you would call a leafy suburb, if you asked me, she lives in a forest.

It was a bright sunny Saturday, so I did not bother to wear or carry a jacket, something I quickly began to regret after arriving at my friend’s home. Hers is an extremely beautiful home, but I don’t think I would survive there for more than two days.

When I arrived, my friend suggested that we sit outside, where it was more “scenic”, as she put it. It was scenic alright — the outdoors were littered with many healthy looking trees, flowers and shrubs, and a thick carpet of luscious grass.

Unfortunately, I have an irrational fear of insects and snakes, a fear that was made worse when mid-last year a neighbour called to inform us that she had spotted a black snake coiled just outside our gate, and we never found the snake. Throughout the visit in this beautiful garden, I was paranoid by every movement made the plants, but I was largely freaked out by the SOUNDS made by insects and little animals. I heard everything, I heard the crickets and the buzz from bees and bugs, I heard the frogs croak and some hissing too (though I was persuaded there were no snakes). I heard everything. I am truly an auditory style individual.

My friend seemed oblivious to all my internal panic and fear, in fact, I could tell she was thoroughly enjoying her forest-like outdoors. It then occurred to me that just as I wondered how she could be comfortable in an environment that made me want to jump out of my skin at every sound I heard, I realized she probably also wouldn’t live where I live. And perhaps in realizing and accepting this I would definitely visit my friend again; and this is honouring the difference between her and me.


Honouring Difference

This week’s syndicate group topic was honouring difference which they narrowed it down to honouring culture. I loved the fact that they had their traditional attire on and each and every person was wearing a different attire from that of his/her culture, this to me represented unity.

We then discussed the four fold way major principles that integrate ancient cultural wisdoms into contemporary life( the warrior, visionary, healer, teacher). While discussing these, I’ve learnt that it’s very imperative to be conscious of how you show up as an individual.

I substantially enjoyed the excerise about thinking preferences and learning styles. I discovered that I’m completely a left brainer like 💯 % whatsoever. This exercise was fun  because we got to distribute ourselves in groups according to our learning styles and got to share what we think about the visual, auditory and kinaesthetic people.

What an awesome experience,I had a lot to take in from this class.

Week 4: Honouring Differences

I ripped my jeans rushing for class. Great start to the day. Turning back to change would have made me late for the facilitation piece and I can’t afford that.

I arrived to find people standing in the corridor. We couldn’t possibly all be late and locked out so I asked a classmate and it turns out the group was still preparing because the class was only unlocked 10 minutes before 8am. Need to remember that when it’s our group’s turn.

Anyways, Group 3 presented and their topic was honouring differences. They wore traditional outfits and their facilitation piece focused on different cultures in South Africa and how we should respect and honour each culture. They debunked some myths about certain cultures, including the reason why Tsonga and Shangaan are not exactly the same people. They also shared the fact that Heritage Day used to be a Zulu holiday called Shaka’s day. Their presentation went well, in my view, and they engaged the audience very well using the handing out of numbers randomly and posing questions to the group.

My take-away from this class was that we all have different cultures, opinions, personalities, learning styles and realities and we should all respect and honour people’s differences. When facilitating, it’s important to keep this in mind and aim to cater for the learning methods of the group e.g. Using more images for the visual people, stories or music for the auditory people and moving activities for the kinesthetic people.

We then did some exercises that showed us how believing in ourselves and showing up with confidence helps us to achieve our goals better. The power of believing in yourself goes a long way.

The Beauty in Difference

Today was interesting, in a sense that, it is important not to always judge a book by its cover. In that, there is more to a person and environment than our initial perceptions and assumptions. . Although the group that facilitated focused on black women hair (100 points for their bravery, LOL), the exercise highlighted the stereotypical tendencies and narratives that tend to develop and dominate public discourses. And how these narratives are legitimised over time and lead to prejudice and stigmas. In our country South Africa, we have different races and cultures, so it is important for us to guard against our stereotype in order to open channels for learning about and accepting each other’s differences. This will enhance the experience of our interactions and help to promote the nation building and honouring of differences as envisaged by  Dr Nelson Mandela.

As for facilitation skills, it was another reminder that, preparation for and anticipation of the audience response to a sensitive topic should be considered. One important I learned, is that when facilitating a sensitive topic, it is vital to direct the interaction and ensure the group stick to the main objectives of the topic. This will not to attract emotional arguments that derail from the initial objectives. Furthermore, facilitators need to keep their emotions in check to ensure the exercise is about learning and not argument. However, it was another eye opener that facilitating is not easy, as one cannot fully predict the response with certainty, even with the best of preparations and experience. So we keep learning.

Lastly, the exercise on the learning and thinking style was a bit of a confirmation and a shock to myself. I have always known that I am a Theorist (in that, I apply logic, value reason and prefer objectivity in my approach). The percentages in my responses took me aback, I thought the other styles will reduce the domination of being a Theorist to a certain extent. It’s a learning point for me to work on developing other skills and styles in order to navigate different environments I will be encountering in my planned profession as a Psychologist. These will help me to understand and accommodate people from different backgrounds. All in all, we need to appreciate the beauty in difference and aim to go beyond the stereotypes and stigmas, in order to discover more about each other and the world.

Week 4: Armour on or Armour off… The Authentic Experience…

Today was really cool, I had loads of fun and learnt alot about presence, about “showing up” and not just arriving… which is an important lesson for a shy introvert like myself.

Presence is everything, it determines how people will perceive you and how they will respond to and interact with you.  Showing up is about being present, being aware.  The four-fold way of thinking, written by anthropologist and teacher Angeles Arrien, had stimulated my interest on how I viewed myself, in my personal, professional and social lives. Her philosophy is based on ancient anthropology, psychology, religion and ancient cultural wisdom (I love ancient stuff 🙂 ).

Showing up was just one part of her writings, being open to outcomes was the other (not being attached to one way, telling the truth was the other (not attaching blame of judgement) and paying attention closes the loop (listening to heart and meaning). A warrior should be able to take off the Armour when necessary, sometimes we need to play ourselves down, sometimes play ourselves up, all in all it is about creating an authentic experience (I really like this phrase), and this in my mind leads to credibility of character, it enhances a facilitator’s presence and authenticity.

Once again, it was an introspective session, once again I found myself reflecting within, wondering how I could be a better facilitator, but more importantly, how I could be a better person.  My learnings today reached further than my professional life, it got me looking at how I could be a better person to my family and friends, and not just my professional associations. Thanks Ros!

Honoring Difference

This session on honoring difference was an eye opener to say the least. Firstly, props to the morning session’s syndicate group who were able to provide some insight into some of tribes, cultural differences and traditions we have in SA!

Whilst their facilitation was fun, creative and interesting (I’ll pass on the Mopani worms thanks – Haha) More importantly it highlighted the fact that in order to honor difference, we need to understand individuals’ backgrounds through engagement and dispelling cultural myths and stereotypes.

My biggest takeaway from this class was the different thinking style preferences. I’m a Kinesthetic – JUST DO IT:)  Being aware that other people have different preferences and being able to cater for different individuals needs will come in handy in the workplace during those pesky training sessions and presentations.



Honouring differences

The group did well in their facilitation. I believe the core of their message was only highlighted at the end of the presentation instead of the beginning, which could have directed the discussions in the groups and created a more positive response. I think it is important as a facilitator to plan and give enough information up front in order to direct the discussion you want to have with your audience. At the end to the day, we are all in a learning phase, and the best lessons are learnt from our own mistakes .

It was fascinating to discover my thinking patterns and brain dominance  from the electronic assessment. The charts indicated that I was right brained, with big picture sorting style. This helped to affirm some truth I knew about myself but could not understand why I always felt that way. One of them is the fact that I  have the fear to delegate task to other people because I feel they will not execute it in a manner that will satisfy me or to their best ability. This assessment was really enlightening.

The different brain power exercises were interesting and proved that I can achieve so much more, provided I affirm my goals in my head and believe that I am capable of reaching them.



Honoring our differences

I was very en lighting to learn more about different cultures and crushing stereotypical myths. Especially  about the Tsonga VS Changani debate. I am Venda share the same province as Tsonga people, all my life I believed that Tsongas and Changani people are the same. I also thought that the word Changani derived from them Leaving their children behind when they where fleeing from South Africa to Mozambique.

So thanx to this group I now know the real history.

Bravo guys 🙂

Facilitation Skills – BLOG 4

The group-presenting today’s topic was “Honoring difference” group centered the difference on culture, I was fascinated with the various traditional regalia within the different tribes, each group member dressed up in different tribe attire and explained about the tribe attire that they had to chosen to wear, plus for me was that, they chose a different tribe attire to speak about.

Ho do I show up? This statement really made me reflect back. How do I show up as a daughter, sister, wife, mum and a colleague, how is my presence noticed???

Do I have a different mask on at home, work, around friends, family, my baby, am I showing up with the mask I have on or my authentic self.

We had to complete an electronic assessment that determined our brain dominance, my brain dominance is my left-brain, totally true 🙂  I am a visual, true again 🙂 I see the big picture, true again 🙂 I am definitely a theorist.

From this exercise the insight gained was that as a facilitator we need to know all the different types of students that are part of a class, need to know the visual, auditory, kinaesthetic and operator students, as a facilitator one has to incorporate the different facilitating methods, techniques and styles into the facilitation to make a good facilitator.

I loved this week of facilitation, a feeling of wanting more and more.

Honouring our differences

The day started with a group presentation on honoring differences. It was based on identity and cultural differences among South African citizens, and their different tribes. They were all dressed in culturally representative attires.It was a good presentation which showed some preparation went into it, and they covered it well. We did a brain dominance patterns, sensory preferences and Information sorting styles, which was interesting and informative. l value the knowledge l gained from these lessons, they made me look at people differently, in terms of trying to embrace our differences, being accomodative, and accepting that we are humans beings that are created uniquely. I find the course, thus far, worth my while, and very relevant and empowering, with necessary life skills, which are critical to master. They can be applied across the board, socially and occupationally.

experiencing life changing skills

I fell that we should call the class facilitating life skills, not facilitations, because every class  I learn something new about myself and the people that I associate with.

the thing is that I am getting more self aware, I now give myself time out to go up in the balcony whereas before I usually stay down at the dance flow and talk and entertain things that I shouldn’t , stigmatize myself and carry with me all that.

since week two I have been implementing what I learn in the class in my life, without even trying hard because I experience learning in the class, I am not thought how to behave. I experience it.

I have one word. ‘amazing

11 August 2018 Team 3 Honouring different diversity

Upon the forth week of class I received an email mail from Roslyn to prepare us for the next class. I had to fill in an electronic assessment and had to print it out for class.



The fourth week was quite interesting. Firstly we started off with the group facilitation which covered honouring different diversity. The group came in dressed in different cultural attires and the setting was similar to a classroom setting. They facilitated on the different cultures South Africa has. The facilitation for me was well done, though at first it felt like a presentation and they didn’t cover the Afrikaans culture at all. But overall for me they did a job well doned. Their presentation was memerable because of the attires and materials used.  a learnt that we haveh different perspectives when we see situations when we give feefback and some feedback I was aware of until it was mention, that made me realize to look more to what I see but to pay more greater attention and understand.  What I also learnt was the 24th of September and how it came about and why, which was quite inrinterest for me about the holiday and how it links with Shaka Zulu. I also learnt about Umamulo with the Zulu culture which for me o didn’t know until today. Roslyn and the rest of the class gave feedback but this time it was different because we had to discuss bit amoungst ourselves. There after Roslyn did story telling of a author named Nick Averill who write about Shaka Zulu in regards to learning districting innovative, which entails about the long and short spear that Shaka changed. The two fascinating attributes about Shaka valees which were strong and had binding respect and he would conquer village and make men generals.


In closing we discussed the electronic assessment in which I learnt that in learning style I am a theorist. motivational preference is internal. Brain dominance pattern is the left brain. Sensory preference is auditoy and information sorting styles is the big picture. The high looking at my character this is all true and I never knew all of this. So I gain alot of knowledge this week four class.



Thank you❤️

Honouring the Difference – Week 4

What a poignant topic “Honouring the difference” …. a bit deep for a Saturday morning I thought …… I couldn’t resist feeling a bit emotional as people shared stories of stigma…..African Hair, Gay and not accepted……. being Coloured……. how could the world be so cruel I proclaimed to my self. I couldn’t help but recall my favourite poem by Carl Jung:

“Emotion is the moment when steel meets flint and a spark is struck forth, for emotion is the chief source of consciousness. There is no change from darkness to lights or from inertia to movement without emotion. Consciousness can only exist through a continual recognition of unconsciousness just as everything that lives must pass through many deaths.”


Honouring Difference

There are six ways to Honor your Time by accepting the season of life you are, stop doing stuff you don’t care about just because you think you should, don’t make things a bigger deal than they are, choose where it matters to you, narrow down your choices and lastly embrace your need for downtime.

The Johari Window model


The Johari Window model can also be used to assess and improve a group’s relationship with other groups. A technique used to help people better understands their relationship with themselves and others. It is a useful tool for illustrating and improving self-awareness, and mutual understanding between individuals within a group.

Our lecture is great and always explain these concepts easy.

presentation day (D day)

this day started very early as we had to get one or two dry runs in before the actual presentation

these were nerve racking times as im a very anxious person when it comes to group activities (other than sports). the dry runs ran suprisingly smoothly considering we had not done a complete dry run of our presentation. as it got closer to crunch time so the nerves invreased.

to calm myself down i would repeat in my head that this is a learning environment and we are here to better ourselves and grow as individuals. over all the presentation went amazingly and we had a lot of positive comments outside of the delta plus feedback session.

you may be wondering how i linked the johari window to my part of the presentation (from previous blog), more specifically the hidden area. we each have an individual story that may explain who we are and why we are where we are and this is portrayed through the hidden window. we must not judge people on thier personality or the way they behave as there is an aspect of their lives that we are unaware of. a quote i once heard is dont judge a persons life based on the chapter that you jumped in on.

it was also an amazing experience to be on the recieving end of the feedback or delta plus session. it allows you to understand what others see and get a greater appreciation of catering and satisfying others because in todays day and age we tend to just worry about ourselves with out caring for others.

Different! Week 4

So feeling like I bite off more than I can chew regarding me selecting 6 modules this year!

I am feeling the pressure of year end! Both at class! at work ! being a mom to a child not interested in studying. Burning the candle at both ends is so much fun…*NOT

So I decided to play major catch for all the weeks I missed by thoroughly doing it unisa style! You know studying without guidance.

After reading blogs and my manual. I am wishing I had more time in the day or a machine to multiple myself. Gosh wouldn’t that be cool to be Doug Kinney from multiplicity.

So honestly having some real FOMO issues in this class.

Honouring Difference has always been up my ally!

It is one of the principles I live by. Empathy to understand others and know that we are all not cut from the same cloth.. even though my family dynamics will say otherwise.

I love how my studies in psychology contributes to this field, making the water less muddying when it comes to understanding people and differences.

The Johari Window Movie I see at my workplace

As I went through my notes on the Johari Window, I immediately realized that I am an extra in this movie. I see all these areas of the window play out daily at my workplace, the company I joined about a month ago.

Needless to say, everyone I met at this organization from the management team to the workforce played in the Transparent area scene. It was not a mission to know who everyone was, how they look and what their backgrounds were. This made it fairly easy for me to find my feet and be able to develop some sort of a relationship with those around me, just enough for me to have a healthy working relationship with them.

Within a week though, I got to know and discover that a lot of people unaware, were part of the blind spot scene. I realized this as I tried to make the environment attractive, happy and creative, I realized this as I tried to introduce new ideas and new ways of doing things, I realized this as I tried to develop current systems in order to produce better results. The workforce was just not receptive, people weren’t receptive, people lacked innovation and the will to try. Sooner or later I realized that the workforce is not happy in this environment, discouraged and  has no enthusiasm. No one told me this but I could workout that all these people were not motivated and driven to be here. This was the reason there was no effective team work. The whole workforce did not want to be there but had to be there in order to earn a living, but this had become so normal to them that they do not realize that this place is toxic for them and is drawing them down.

After discovering this I started living asking myself a lot of questions, what is going on here, why is everyone so discouraged, what have i gotten myself to, is this something I could change, what results could I get from these people in this organization, is it because this is a bad team, or are they reacting to certain events of the past, would I overcome this? I started living in the hidden area, as my fear of the unknown grew but on the outside I wore a face of hope. Only I knew I was questioning my being there.

Maybe you are in a position to tell me who in this scenario could possibly be acting in the dark or unknown area of this movie. One thing I can tell you is that the level of possible discoveries about myself grew so high, I am even scared of what might come out next in the next scene of this movie.

Reflective writing

I find it a bit difficult to blog on reflective writing and story telling as it seems to be quite self explanatory. I think group 4 did their best to portray the message of story telling.

Reflective writing can be best described as learning through experience. I think Wits it’s an exceptional environment as being a student at wits I can honestly say I learn something new after every lecture I attend.

Each and every one of us have a different story to tell and we can all learn from each story.

Although reflective writing seems quite simple, it is not. From what I gather from reflective essays is that students struggle to keep their reflective essay an academic piece of work. We have to consider reflective writing academic as it will only prepare us for the future years to come.

The one aspect I do not understand though is the marking of the reflective essay. I can’t understand how I am supposed to know I am on the right track of writing reflectively if a fellow student is expected to mark and critique my piece of work. I would expect my reflective essay to be marked and criticized by a lecturer in order for me to improve. Just a thought.

I also found that the marking of the reflective essays by fellow students might have caused some conflict as some people might be more sensitive than others. I understand that part of the facilitation course it to interact with other  students but I doubt the point is to cause conflict and in this case I could see conflict being an issue.

Looking at the bigger picture

Sometimes in life people draw conclusion based on the situation  that  they are currently facing but not  realizing that this could be the beginning of great things. It is very significant to have a plan to reach your main goal, and have time frames. The presentation by group 4 made me realize that sometimes in life I limit myself because of not knowing the abilities I have.

I’m trying to imagine when the architects and engineers were busy laying down the foundation of Carlton Center, did everyone foresee how big the structure would be and it would be the biggest building in Africa. It began on someone’s mind, he or she had the picture in mind, saw it complete before any of us could see it. The same applies in life, people need to have visions and if they don’t implement the actions that will make it happen nothing will happen.

I liked the way how group 4 implemented the SCARF model in their presentation and the activities they demonstrated, it proved that they understood the concept and did research about the topic.  I left today’s class with one thing in mind, looking at the bigger picture

Human Dynamics

I missed our first team meeting,I observed conversations that took place in our WhatsApp group created on our first day in class. I panicked a bit as I could not grasp what my team was on about but continuously asked questions for clarity. I thought to myself we did not have enough time to practice our skit for our controversial topic. But the team felt we were up to the task, we argued constructively,we were patient with each other while some emotions were revoked but the topic brought us back to our presentation. Honouring Differences. I also reflected to the facilitation I have just experienced in Durban the past weekend.

Panicking a bit that we are playing it too safe and not planning to engage the audience as expected. While reserved and introvert but I am also aware of my strong personality and the fact that I like taking control of situations. Then I withdraw my suggestion realising that we had no time to deliberate on it further.

I was amazed by great support we had for one another. We paid attention to each other’s characters and did our best within that short space of time. Our topic brought us together without even realising it. We respected the religions we represented, we all did our best to research our roles appropriately and honoured our differences.
Relieved that we were done and happy that we did it, I could not stop reflecting to the role I played which my actual role in real life.

I realised how much we need workshops where society can just engage on different life topics. How much one topic can influence the changes we experience everyday, different people we come across, tolerance required amongst ourselves, all race, ethnic groups, our diverse cultural practices and choices brought by our daily personal experiences. Then I was encouraged to engage more with my fellow students and to learn from each and everyone I was paired with.

Person to person relations

There a famous saying, “no man is an island”, as humans we are social being naturally. This model has helped me realise the most significant way of being an effective human being and how to introspect the self in relation to how one relates with other people.

The JOHARI window is the best tool used to self-introspect and give feedback to how one relates with other people. Often one takes for granted the relationship between people and how they relate in general hence I came to appreciate the academic interpretation of my relations to other. The hidden area is has become to me the aha moment as i am usually told that I have moods and in an academic sense this shows that it is human and perfectly normal. I am not a freak after all.


We at it again….

So i missed todays lecture….am not a happy camper, but a girl has to work!!! The reading packs are talking about the different ways of communicating. Oooh and the big word everyone in class is talking about, the johari window. You know sitting here and writting this blog feels like am grasping at straws because reading the course pack doesnt make much sense when one does not attend the classes. The experience and discussions make much more sense than jus going through the material provided. So am not going to waffle any longer….

This stuff is getting real!

By this stage, I have experienced the facilitation topics from Group 2 and Group 3. I am in awe of the dynamic approaches and the interesting ways by which the teams are embracing their topics. It is all very refreshing… I realise, that the more teams that I am observing, the more it seems that the goal posts are changing on how to approach our team’s facilitation topic. Yet, this is par for the course, I am learning a lot through the workshop content as well as learning more about myself, each week.


The information around module 4 is helping me to understand the impact that I have when engaging with my peers, colleagues or with clients. By being more self-aware in the style of my engagements, I realise that my approach can either enable me to obtain relevant information from others or, limit me from receiving the details required to continue the engagement. (Public arena, private arena, unconscious arena). The Johari window, the SCARF model, and the Resistance Barometer are all interesting guidelines which I need to learn more about in order to apply them effectively.

This stuff is getting real.

Problem Solving

When faced with a conflict situation, the approach is so important.   A very uncomfortable situation arose this week in my personal life.  What is this to do with facilitation skills?  Well,  after re-evaluating the situation I had to deal with I realised something – this facilitation skills course has changed my approach toward resolving conflict.

After reading module four I realised that regardsless of your positive intentions, it is difficult to predict the behaviour of other humans . Even though in my attempt of resolving the conflict, the resistance I was met with made it extremely difficult to achieve any progress.  However, what I have discovered of myself is that I have become the positive contribute to the situation and not the one aggravating  the situation, like I use to do.  For some reason I have changed, discovered  away of facilitating.  Although I might not have been able to resolve,  I accepted the defeat, but I was still positive.  I brought in another person to assist in the matter, as in the case study, where Anita Jenkins explains to David the inside information of the executive team.

I feel proud to have used the information I have learned throughout the course thus far and proud that I have managed to use these tools in reality.

Story Telling – hope i wont be yawning

“i need to pee,,,i need to pee,,, i need to pee . okay let me quickly go put my bags down in class head out to the bathroom and will be back just in time”. *thinking to myself*

headed into the foyer and oh my the smell of popcorn at this time of the morning??? hmmmmm

ladies dressed in denim clothing greeting me gracefully handing me popcorn and cold drink “nice” i thought to myself

go into class and there are movie posters plucked up. really thoughtful. so i’m assuming were meant to be in a movie setup??? LOL . anyway its group 4s turn and their theme is STORY TELLING. they did their thing and we were engaged . even forgot i had to go visit the loo LOL. got some active exercises for us to do and hey i must give it to them they really did well in thinking things through.

SOooo there’s this one exercise they had for us that stood out for me. we had to choose amongst many small rocks one that appeals to each of us. so i chose mine. round white pebble like stone. and were told to place it anywhere in the plastic placed nicely on the ground in front of us. placed mine in a nice secure corner….wait for the explanation of this….WOW

turns out the aim behind that exercise is to awaken our consciousness in our stories. so everyone has a story. told and untold. stories about our lives or personalities. and because i had chosen the kind of stone that i did and placed where i did told a story about me and my life. so in essence the story can be told as that i am a private person who likes to keep in my own corner and be the observer in a massive crowd but still having my own beauty glowing from afar. and because i do things without even taking note my actions speak for me….i thought that was so profound and thoughtful

for the first time in all the lessons we have had, we got to write more than just notes in our books. today we’re doing an exercise on reflective writing. also have an assignment about it. not that i’m a fan of writing but hey i can probably say this won’t be a painful essay to write.

i suppose that’s my cue to gerara here and get on with my assignment . check yal later


Team Work Appreciation 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

So! I had a chance to critique other groups facilitate…  As the day gets closer to our group facilitation project, I’m starting to feel desensitized and overwhelmed by all the the input I have contributed and all the information shared by my team mates. I must say, we are a hell of a great bunch with strong personalities and we all are have something to contribute concerning our task. The challenge is that, we have so many great ideas for our project and I have realized that in order for us to narrow down our ideas, I need to seat back and observe as I have played my part.  This is me realizing that we can’t all have our cake and eat it!😉

Seeing the bigger picture

Week 5 of facilitation… how am i feeling you may ask. Given my busy work days, having to wake up early on a Saturday to come to class is starting to catch up with me.

But this week I was pleasantly surprised. Walking towards class I was greeted by the friendliest faces, offering me popcorn and a cold drink and movie tickets and small pebbles to be part of a game later on. Wow! What a welcome! That was group 4, the guys facilitating the theme about story telling. What made me feel even more pleased was the fact that a comment I made the week about late comers distracting the facilitation group was taken into account. The group used black dustbin bags to cover up the windows at the entrance of the class. look, it might have just been part of their look and feel but I took it personally and loved them for it.

When their facilitation began I will admit I was a bit confused about what we were meant to expect but as they went on I was blown away by how much this group pushed the boundaries. Well done guys! It was thoughtful as well as thought provoking. During the feedback session I was surprised at how much Delta the group received and then I realised that not everyone views things the same way. Your personal context (family life, work life, personal relationships ect.) influences how you view something that is taking place. We are humans that whether we know it or not we link things together. That coming from last week where we learned how we respond to events and behaviours just got further highlighted for me.

The rest of the class was a bit slow for me, although I was grateful for the almost step by step experience of how to go about our upcoming draft essays. I am the type of person who needs a more comfortable and quiet environment to put my thoughts on paper. So the “get ahead of your essay” part of the class was a bit disruptive for me. But I have tried to keep all our learning in mind, from understanding that change takes place all the time and i should embrace it rather than fight it to the fact that we are all different as well as always tying to see the bigger picture.

Diversity in Rituals

After insightful teachings about brain stress and the various causes of this often misunderstood condition, it was incredibly exciting to break away into small groups to explore the topic of rituals.  The brief was to initially engage globally on various rituals pertaining to the customs of birth, initiation, marriage and death.

The initial group session was extremely emotive and engaging, each member of the discussion learnt new information from the others. It was interesting to note how emotional and personal the exchanges had become. What also stuck me is the realization that there were some commonalities in some of the reasons why certain rituals were observed.

The second round of group discussion, reveled that rituals are dynamic, they evolve like culture, and they evolve to confirm to the lifestyle and situation of the people/families observing these cultures at any given time. The act of appeasing ancestors through the spilling of traditional sorghum beer can and has been conducted through the use of commercially bottled beer for instance. For people living the urban areas where the brewing of traditional African beer is not convenient, bottled beer does the trick.

The last round of exchanges revealed a connection of sorts among  those who were exchanging and conversing.

In the end, I dared to open up to a stranger, I dared to share intimate details about me; my unconventional relationship with my father, my reservations about marriage and the fact that to some extent, it symbolizes a possible loss of independence. I loathe the idea of taking on a foreign surname and having to be introduced to ”new” ancestors.

In the end, I decided that the rituals that I will perform with my children will be a reflection of who and what we are about. I will certainly take into account what my parents have laid down in terms of our family’s rituals, but I will not hold back to infuse what I am about, I will leave a piece of my legacy in the rituals that get passed down to my grandchildren.

I have been experimenting with the notion of sharing who I am with others, I have been telling my story and my family’s stories to my two children.

It’s okay to loosen up and share a bit of me now and then, that’s what I’ve learnt. It’s okay to open up now and then.






As things continue

Continuing to attend classes continues to enlighten me but also enlightens me about how others around me feel. Attending the fourth class taught me that I am a creative person and I enjoyed the arm exercises as they were easy but required high concentration which I did not struggle to do. Learning through the activities is really interesting and I enjoy them so much. Learning how to facilitate is much more interesting than just merely doing presentations which tend to be long and boring (mostly).

From my first class I realize that there is so much to learn from the world and those around me.

What I found most useful was the note taking session and I found that I could improve in-terms of my note taking skills. This has already helped me in my International Relations class as I was already putting in what I had learned. I realized that it is very important to know exactly for whom you are writing for.  I look forward to next week’s class and learning more each time I attend.





They can be a source of light for some but a complete source of destruction for others – imagine sitting in a room full of windows on a winters day, with the sun shining in and warming you up – that would be wonderful, now imagine the sun in all its glory shining in on that exact same room on a hot summers day, would you enjoy it just as much?  I didn’t think so – The Johari Window, made me look at my home as my myself, I have huge windows that I haven’t covered with curtains, that allows me to see out and others to see the beauty within, and then I have curtains on some the windows that I do not want the  contents of those rooms to be exposed to others, only I need to know whats in there, and there are aspects of my home like the plumbing and electricity that others know about that i have no idea and then there things that neither the builder or myself would know, like would this house be able to withstand a natural disaster.

This got me thinking, would it be so bad to let others see the rooms with the curtains on, would i be ashamed to let them in, or would i be able to handle the critics or the compliments – would it not be educational for me to learn about the plumbing and electricity, so in a case of emergency, I will know how to handle the situation and not find myself in a state of panic, and should a natural disaster occur i would like to have strong foundations.

The lesson learnt today, is that the more people you let in and build relationships with, the curtains that were meant to block out will now only be there to add beauty.



There is no need for BRAIN stress, yeah right…….

So I tell myself

Shoo! Each week the groups are getting better and better at facilitating their topics, a lot of pressure some of us may think and feel for the upcoming weeks.

The Johari window is very interesting, I discovered what is required for building effective relationships. It will not happen over night but it will definitely happen because this session transformed our thinking and our perceptions about people and a lot of things we were not aware of.

Going through the change process. Starting my journey as a reborn student is tough but also exciting. When I did my self-examination, it left me disheartened because I have to let go of my family visits weekends, stop watching my soapies so often as I used to (I am a television freak):-(

I have placed a self-expectation on myself, I need to get more knowledgeable to be able to reach my goals and cutting my time short with family & the television will hopefully get me there.

I have decided that this is what I need to do to exceed and excell so I am self-directing my life. I am still working on broadening my perceptions as I am not an out going person and only visits family on weekends or they visit us. At work I am also a loner.

My self realization came when I started attending my two classes, one on a Tuesday evening and the other on Saturday mornings. Answer to myself, “you got this, you can do this”

We go through “triple loop learning” where I am slowly but surely discovering myself.


Time to reflect

When I started this journey two and half years ago, it was scary and very uncertain. Procrastination has been my weakness for the better part of my adult life. Though it has delayed a lot of my decision making as far as my career progression, I am glad that I find myself where I am in today, I can make better decisions.

A lesson from this past weekend’s class, 2 minutes after a scheduled time is late. We are so accustomed to our African time which allows us to get away with not respecting other peoples’ time. I was 2 minutes late for the start of the group performance on Saturday, as a result, I found myself struggling to catch up with the events of the day. A lesson learned!

Then I got time to reflect. I didn’t know I could write an academic essay to a friend. It has always been my challenge to ‘write creatively’ . I remembered an incident when I asked my 10 year old son at the time what he had done at school that day and he said, we did creative writing in our English lesson. As I didn’t want to come across as an ignorant parent to him, I had to find a way to phrase my question to him so he can tell me what kind of writing this creative writing is. “What did you write in your piece?” I asked. I couldn’t have asked for a better response, he related how he talked about his 2 dogs at home that he loves dearly but despises when he has to pick up after their brown mess. Right there I got my answer, be creative in your storytelling.

Writing a reflective essay felt like creative writing to me. The difference was mine needed to have a combination of facts, lesson learned and experiences.

I find myself falling in love with this facilitation thing every week because of the person it is turning me out to be, coming out of my hard shell. I took up a challenge at work this week which I would not have ordinarily accepted had I not known what I know now

HONOURING DIVERSITY ~ 9865×8= we are calculated & different.

Last week we learned that change is the  most constant thing in our lives:

The learning spiral, I have applied since I started this course. This was one of the reasons why I did not want to speak about myself. To change perceptions about the purple headed lady – me. I have a lot of fun with this at work as I connect with people on a personal level face-to-face in their offices and enjoy sharing random intellectual topics or even advice to Legal Advisors that have specialized skills andI am only a legal secretary. The learning spiral has made my colleagues listen to me and most of all accept me for who I am. This is an accomplishment that not many companies and colleagues can succeed in. Another interesting factor that Group 3 presented on is accepting and honouring difference. The Three-Dimensional Thinking tool is another personal favourite because not only do you dig deeper into your thoughts an why you think the way you do but now we ask questions about why and how certain systems came to be? , due to what perception? can it be changed? and what behaviour or thinking should take place to do so?Today, Human Dynamics – we paired up and spoke about the case study.  Tool 16 known as the Stakeholder Map was again an absolute favourite. Why? because it is here where one embraces different perspectives based on peoples standing point of view. [ And it is ok to have a different point of view].

This links to a further discovery of the Three Domains of Disclosure that holds the public, private and unconscious factor.

Public – What is known of the self by the self and others. It can be visible, felt, actions or be exchanging of words.

Private – What is known to only the self. A part that the self may use to manipulate others because they can’t see or are aware of that part about you.  This involves our beliefs, experiences etc.

Unconcious – What is unknown to self and others. Experiences or feeling unaware of.

Even though I discussed these interesting learning tools and how I have used them already. One tool I am planning to use at the end of our Group presentation is The Johari Window at the Blind Spot” where self is unknown to self but others know of. My plan is to ask my group questions about my blind spot. I think this is a safe opportunity to be critiqued by a group that I trust and can self-develop within my workplace in the future.

To conclude with tool 21 – which seems to constantly challenge me to how one deals with senior managers opposition: The resistance Barometer. However, I have successfully remained calm. I have a broader perspective on people and the workplace and how they interact with their positions and characters within their environment. It remains fascinating because some managers may be highly skilled but may not have this precious insight – The Tool facilitations course has given me thus far.

Next week – Let’s do Some writing skills!


When my Aha was in the Case Study, I identified so much with the Executive Team. The same thing was happening at my recent employer where I ended up leaving just a few months ago.

Listening to a new “Leader” go on and on about themselves; where they have been, what they have seen others do and the things that they want to change without having one on one meetings with everyone to try and understand what their day to day operations are, can cause one to switch off and give only that which is asked of them and not go the extra mile.

We normally make situations be about ourselves in desperation to want to prove to the world that we know what we are doing, forgetting that we need others to perform to our fullest.  We do not check how what we say can impact those around us. We get so consumed in being the bosses of our territories.

Resistance comes in different forms and that can frustrate us since we mostly don’t stop and think about hearing views from other people. We believe that everything we say or do is right, even though other people may not agree with us or make us aware of it, especially our blind spots.

Group 3’s HONOURING DIFFERENCE, was silent and very short but to many, it was straight to the point. To be honest, I was a bit confused in the beginning as the group didn’t say a word but just acted. At the end though, during feedback I really got to understand what message they were sending.

Sitting in groups discussing different rituals at various stages of our lives, I got to learn a lot about other cultures and religions. Traditionalist as I am, I realised that I didn’t know enough about what is out there and how some cultures/religions were similar to mine, some people also didn’t know about my culture and still proudly frowned upon it during the discussions. Before reacting, I quickly remembered that a facilitator doesn’t put emotions to issues and instead apply an open mind and understand that people see things differently and educates when necessary.

I appreciated the facilitation more during feedback and I realised that as different as we are, we shouldn’t look down upon each other and that we need to embrace each other’s differences and most importantly respect them.

I learnt that we might all be coming from diverse cultural backgrounds or religions, but we are all drawn to the same force. We have different names for who we worship but we are all from the same universe and we have the same creator. Our differences are what makes this world and interesting place with endless learning.

HONOURING DIFFERENCE; An activity that will make an action or a process easy or easier. From today, I am going to try every single day to honour and respect difference in all areas of my life starting with You.


Group 4, I am ready for you, bring in on and let’s listen and watch you TELL YOUR STORIES.

Did someone say SCARF?

I did mention in my very first blog how giddy I was with anticipation for what was to come from these workshops right? I must say I continue to be pleasantly surprised.

This week I had the privilege of attending a business breakfast which could not have come at a better time (alignment, when the student is ready the master always shows up). The overall message that day was in line with what we had discussed in last week’s workshop and this challenged my thinking around the role of a leader.

You see power can be given and taken away but not influence. True leaders don’t derive their authority from their positional power but rather from the influence they’ve earned through service, I believe that you are a better leader when you are not trying too hard to be one. Unlike our friend David Scott in our case study, David didn’t understand the concept of leaders being served in direct proportion to their servant leadership of their teams. When leaders abuse their positional authority, their character authority is weakened.

So with that said, the SCARF model was a big AHA moment for me…I’m talking 1000w light bulb moment.

STATUS: My take on this is very simple, “who died and made me so much more important than the next person”? Often when society “elevates” us based on our achievements we start to feel like god’s gift to humanity, I just say SIT DOWN,BE HUMBLE nobody has time for that.

CERTAINTY: There’s a certain level of comfort I derive from being able to pre-empt my next move and as a result I can go through the same thing over and over with a fine-tooth comb until it feels right (notice how I spend a lot of time all up in my feelings…(Kinaesthetic much?). I observe how even in business people won’t get into certain “deals” because they are not sure, they can’t put their finger on it but it just doesn’t feel right.

AUTONOMY: Don’t even mention autonomy, I’m such a control freak and anyone who knows me will tell you that I always have to have my finger on the pulse of everything that happens around me because god forbid something goes wrong and it’s not on my watch (another solar eclipse maybe, only this time it might be permanent…I’d be stripped of every ounce of independence).

RELATEDNESS: This part is pretty much my take on our souls being aligned, as mentioned in my previous blog if our souls are not aligned, I’ll send you some love and light then keep it moving. Again if I feel that there is no trust or common goals I walk away, I hesitate to even do business with someone if we are not “VIBING”.

FAIRNESS: Often I hear people say “too bad, life isn’t fair” and I think what ever happened to empathy (in my feelings again)? I think we should all try to be kind because everyone we meet is fighting some kind of battle that we know nothing about.

Now that I’ve spent all that time on the centre stage of the Public Arena (starting to feel like Floyd Mayweather with all this attention) I’ll leave it here for today and retreat  to the Private and Unconscious Arena where I’m most comfortable.

Till next time, remember to throw kindness around like confetti.




Embracing the Public Arena

Dragging myself out of bed after hitting the snooze button 3 times already, was no easy task! –And that’s an understatement…I cringed at the thought of having to go to class on this glorious “pj day”. On the way, I consciously had to stop myself from turning around and going back to bed in my favourite jammies, with a hot cup of Milo and a Francine Rivers book.

But you know you’re in the right place when the temperature feels below zero outside and you’re dressed in half the contents of your winter wardrobe, yet you walk into a classroom just after 8 in the morning to find it’s full, people smiling, talking and full of life (well freezing ,but still, full of life).

As we moved swiftly down to business, I was taken by the piece performed by Group 3 on Honouring Differences – reminding us that we’re all different and should embrace that, instead of judging and imposing our views and beliefs on each other.

I must admit that I had initially thought that the religious angle they used was dangerous territory, as it can easily unsettle people. But I was pleasantly surprised at how beautifully they portrayed their message and also at the level of respect shown while doing it. I loved the calming ambience it brought into the room and how it completely captivated the audience. (Big ups guys!)

After the scene was set and my tummy was rumbling scandalously loud (reminding me of the consequences of abusing that snooze button) – I was once again fascinated with our cultural differences and belief systems as we started our group discussions.
And an added PLUS is that we get to connect with new people every time , which is really cool – ‘cos then you’re no longer in a room full of strangers.

I’m still intrigued by brain stress and how social and physical pain produce similar brain responses, eg. Who would’ve thought that someone who feels left out or unworthy experiences the neuro impulses as painfully as a blow to the head?! Absolutely amazing!

Well, to me, the fact that that so many people sacrificed their sleep, time and comfort to attend a class in the blistering cold, definitely means we’re on to something here….and no, we’re not crazy lol, just really dedicated…which is good…right?
And talk about getting out of your comfort zone! Seems everyone is embracing it, because each week we learn more and grow more and in so doing, we not only get to know each other better, but we get to know ourselves better and that’s ultimately what this life journey is all about!


what an experience

I did not get to see group three because I arrived immediately after they have close the door. But it was not my fault because I was stacked at a gate for something like twenty minutes and I was not alone, that’s the fortunate part. I’ve view the act through the window all the time and I have seen the act and assumed it was all about culture and what you believe in as individuals. Then we got to a part when we were discussing the rituals of Birth, Initiation, Marriage and Death. What an interesting discuss there. In my group we didn’t have much of a difference as we were all black people. We continued read the case study or a short story then discuss it even further. To be honest I am starting to love this class. I am discovering lot of things about myself that I did not know about. I am accepting the change that I see every time when I am attend that class. Facilitation is a way to go and discovery learning. I love it.


I don’t know how to express my self as English is not my mother tongue, but what I saw this past Saturday was soooo amazing. One can do and say much without saying a word. what Team 3  has done surely made an impact in everyone’s heart and thought. The teams presentation made me think a little deeper and came with the conclusion that I am fortunate to be part of South Africa and the Facilitation Skill class … well done to Team 3

I have learned another Facilitation tool Case Study. This case study also opened my eyes as I always turn to turn a blind eye when it comes to what’s happening in my work and personal environment with the three types of Arenas.

We where grouped in 6 and we had to facilitate each about our Ritual’s when it comes to Birth, Initiation, Marriage and Death.

From the group of 6 we had to be with different 3 people forming another group, where we were facilitating what we have learned from the previous group of 6, but what was sooooo interesting is we all come from different race and cultures but we somehow do the same rituals, what an eye opener……….

The SCARF MODEL –  every human being has a need of the scarf model. Lastly but not least The Resistance Barometer is also interesting. know I know how to read peoples minds or thought, thanks to the resistance Barometer

I REALLY ENJOY MY SATURDAY CLASSES…..Looking forward to the next class.


Honouring diversity

Well done to group 3, they carried a powerful message without speaking,  there was power in the silence. Great respect was displayed when the different religions were displayed by folding the previous religion’s attire neatly and placing it in the box, that was a great metaphors. We were divided in groups and we discussed the diversity in cultures and religions with regards to birth, death, marriage which was interesting and insightful.

In class we uncovered the Johari Window. This is relevant in the work place,  as I can identify the transparent area, people know the basics of one another. The blind spot area is where all the office gossip transpires from, it is information known (whether factual or not) by others but not the person. The hidden area we all possess, it is known by self but unknown by others.  Furthermore I can relate to the SCARF Model as well in my personal and my professional life, at times it is good to feel that I am important, I love the certainty I don’t want to feel as if I don’t know what is going on, I love the sense of control and to be given authority to make my own decisions. I love the sense of belonging and to be treated fairly.

Difference is Diversity

The perspective brought to the table by Group 3 made a significant impact on me. The idea of difference in a society as diverse as  our Mzanzi is not new news, yet its nuances are so embedded in the normality of everyday life that we can easily overlook our differences in the order of daily mundane life.  It occurred  to me that we are not a perfect society and we are a society that handles difference with indifference.

Group 3 handled the subject matter of honoring difference by focusing on the beauty and uniqueness of various religions.  What stood out for me, is the fact that all the religions highlighted had much in common. They all subscribe to a notion of a higher power or God who expresses himself/herself in the form of love, kindness and forgiveness. Yet one of the students’ commented on the group’s courage in choose a topic that can be so greatly polarizing.  Wars have been fought over religion and to date there are factions within countries and between countries.

In terms of self awareness and personal mastery, the notion of brain stress resonated with me and still lives with me. I finally understand the reasons behind my exhausted state of mind and being. Its the feeling when I have been chasing work deadlines, attending classes 5 times a week at WITS and submitting on average 2 university assignments a week.

I am experimenting with the notion of presence and as a replacement for the pursuit of perfection. Truth is, I am not perfect and chasing perfection simply renders my mind, body and spirit tired and unfulfilled.

Here’s to mindful living…cheers.









Human Dynamics – Honoring Difference

With regards to Human dynamics, and the entire module that covers this particular section, I learned a number of important points and lessons. I’ve learned how to accurately examine and read circumstances that can possibly lead to stress on a social level, and also how to deal with such conditions. I also learned how important it is to understand the concept that both companies and people exists within systems that contains many hidden layers of resistance or fought processes, that are not always brought to surface.

With regards to the group and the presentation that was done by them yesterday, I feel that the group did a good job. They got the message through to the audience, and were well organised. I do feel that maybe there had to be a question period where questions could’ve been asked. but other then that, good job .

Honoring difference is something that I will be sure to focus on in the future.