Category Archives: Week 6

Week 6: Honouring Difference

This topic was very pertinent to our context. We live in a majorly diverse country and so difference is everywhere. The message was to honour the differences we see in society. In order to this, we need to seek to understand one another instead of tolerating each other.

When we tolerate each other without understanding the things that make us different, it becomes hard to appreciate the things which we have in common. The group presenting was adorned in their traditional garb, it was absolutely stunning.

The way the group explained their topic resonated deeply with my understanding of diversity and living in a city filled with so much difference. It is indeed important to interrogate our own biases and stereotypes we gold close- we need to constantly unlearn the urge to other people or groups that are different or do things differently from us.

I really appreciated the session- it was in line with my own ideas and outlook.

Week 6: Facilitating Change

Change is never easy to implement, but quite a necessary aspect in one’s life. For without change there is no growing or development.

As a facilitator, this is key in conducting your work. It requires one to be open minded and be open to change before being able to facilitate it to others. In this regard it will require people to get out of their comfort zones and be exposed to unfamiliar territory, and not only change can be implemented from this but an opportunity for growth can also be achieved. The group brought in a great view to the concept and opened my mind to what is possible.

In facilitating change we ourselves need to be open to change.

Week 6 Honouring Difference

Its been great watching other groups facilitate each week and we have learnt so much from being part of those facilitation’s. Its finally our turn and much planning and preparation has gone into putting this together. Dressed in various traditional outfits our team full of vibrant members kicks off the morning by welcoming our colleagues in different languages that we represent. Our topic is Honouring Difference.

We tackled the topic by facilitating it from the perspective of unconscious bias and how these bias form a barrier to being appreciate the differences that we have but also experience how wonderful these differences are.

The topic unfolded through a series of activities that were both fun and interactive, the check in with bingo, finding solutions with surgeons dilemma and and hearing back from the groups on stereotypes .

What I learnt from this session is the value of being able to appreciate peoples differences and how these can contribute meaningfully in various settings. I understood that by exploring the unconscious bias that one has then we able to move beyond stereotypes. Living in a multifaceted country like South Africa means taking the lessons learnt and using them to respect other peoples viewpoints,experiences,history,language and ultimately honour the difference!

Week 6: Honouring Differences

  • I was amazed by the group that was facilitating on the day. Their topic was well planned as they were able to incorporate the different traditional cultures where I now understand how culture differs. It was pleasing to see the combined effect and teamwork amongst the Honouring Differences team.
  • Another exciting thing is when I see each of them wearing traditional clothes from different cultural groups and try to demonstrate those cultures even though each of them espoused the other culture. It was such a wonderful experience and open-minded practical topic. I was very much happy and excited that all South African recognized culture was well represented and how they also explained the attitude and behavior. Unfortunately, it was bad for South Africa to remains as diverse as a nation hence we are called ourselves the “rainbow nation”. It was a well-researched and presented topic.
  •  I think as responsible parents we need to make sure that our children be allowed to attend government gatherings such as Heritage day in order to learn the different cultures and felt proud of their own history as a nation…and a rich dissimilar culture and heritage we carry.

Honoring Difference

This class sort of gave me shivers because it touched on a sensitive topic – Honoring differences. The presentation was based on our cultures and racial groups and how we must honor each other as we come from those different cultures.

In some instances when you start talking about culture, race it turns sour because of the emotions and with some people not respecting others because of where they come from. Also some people have a certain attitude towards other people just because they friend or family does not like them. This is called unconscious bias.

If we want to be honored we must stand on the balcony and watch their behavior not their intent. Honoring our differences is not an easy task but we have to keep trying. But I must say the group handled the topic very well.

Honouring Differences

To honour means to respect. R E S P E C T . . . Now I’m thinking of that song and now it’s in my head… Difference means variance, you are not the same. Your qualities can differ and so can your beliefs, cultural background and your personalities. One thing that was highlighted for me from previous classes and that I actually used in this presentation is to look from the balcony, and my oh my was it quite a show. I really thought that this was the best presentation yet, but I think I liked it because the topic is very relevant in my work life. One of our key values in my company is not just Diversity anymore, but Diversity and inclusion. A topic that was very well highlighted in this presentation. I could take this home or take this to work. It just reminded me of how different we are and it doesn’t mean we need to shut down and walk the other way, respect is a big value you need to have and by having this, you embrace the differences of the people you get to work or study every day. So honouring differences shouldn’t just be inevitable, it needs to be a ongoing process as well. So much for my self-reflection, think I am getting better at it now… XoXo

Learning from life

Very interesting topic I was excited and looking forward to it because we don’t have to go through life to learn we can always learn from others. I was a bit disappointed because my expectations were not met.
The team made more emphasis on balance life style which I am not sure if it ties up very well with the topic. Perhaps the example given are to avoid stress since mental illness is becoming prominent in today’s society. And mostly are triggered by things such as financial pressures unnecessary competitions.


What I can take from this presentation though is that life is not competition and that no one is perfect but its about being smart and prioritizing and put our healthy before anything by looking after ourselves.


HONOURING DIFFERENCES

Firstly the team looked amazing,this was a great facilitation piece considering everything that is happening in our country at the moment. Even though the team focused more on gender stereotype i think the topic carries more weight regarding what is happening in SA NOW. People discriminate other people because they are from other countries, criminology should be dealt with accordingly without checking where the person is from,or whether they are black or white.

We should learn to honour our differences and remember that we can learn a lot form other people and fix our country without looking down on women or other african people….Remember together we can do more.

Honouring Differences

“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” – John Gary

So, in class we discussed gender differences and stereotypes that we live with daily. For example, women belong in the kitchen, men are providers, men are dogs, women can’t be CEO’s etc. This topic is very interesting, bearing in mind that we are all different. Yes, in most cases we might have similarities but the small 0.1 percent of our DNA is what makes us different.

The past weekend I was hanging around with a group of married male and female friends. Now, I am not married but most of my friends are. I had the privilege of asking them this question…”If you get a divorce, would you ever get married again” to my surprise, four out of four men firmly said they would never to do it again and three out of three women said the same thing too. I was surprised to hear this response from women because I thought women are more stable and not scared of commitment but it turned out, it was just my perception. This whole experience sparked an interesting debate about monogamy. I believe in marriage and that it can work if the people involved are willing to honour each others differences, so… you can imagine how difficult it was for me to sit and listen to married men blatantly telling me that monogamy doesn’t exit, that as much as they are married they would like to tell their wives about their interest in other women and that they can love two people at the same time. My views where different and I was unconsciously biased despite them opening up to me. I then thought about what we touched on in class, that we should respect each other’s differences. The conversation triggered deep emotions and one of the married men had his girlfriend there, who happened to be married to someone else. I calmed myself thinking…to each his own, that I’m allowed to have a different view because I am different and it will be unfair, under any circumstances, to try and change who they are, what they want or how they think. I learned that the way people choose to live their lives has nothing to do with me and this is simply because we are NOT the same and we need to appreciate this about each other. After seeing Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche’s TED video ” Dangers of a single story”, I realised I had a single story about marriage and monogamy. My quest for related stories was intensified because going forward I know what I will be getting myself into should I choose to get married. Then again, not all men are the same.

Honoring Difference

Our team was on the receiving end of feedback today, what an experience. It was exciting to be rated the best workshop to date – our team work very hard on the presentation, considering how best to ensure the audience guided the session but ensuring we remain on track with the topic and accurately highlight key lessons.

We had strong personalities in the group, adults who are at Wits for various reasons and who weren’t particularly interested in group work on day one. In the weeks prior, however, we had done an exercise on highlighting aspects of a person in the group that made them great, and what could make them even greater in our eyes. It was key to bringing the group together as people appreciated that people saw in them qualities which resonated with them.

Our team further aimed to highlight stereotypes while ensuring that we did so in a manner that elevated, rather than denigrated any marginalized groups. We focused on gender stereotypes and the class fully participated.

Further to this, Roslyn taught about the Johari Window model – a tool through which we give and receive feedback about ourselves and others. I have begun applying the tool, as with most lessons gained from this course, my experimental space is office my workplace. I have tried to self-disclose as much as is appropriate in an effort to assist others in understand my view point and similarly seek to understand that other people’s behavior may not be motivated by only what I observe in the moment. The feedback sessions I have with our apprentices are richer as a result.

Learning from Life :)

For our group facilitation session we managed to explore the causes of stress and the various ways that might have been used to manage its impact. To promote the discussion and reflection on responses to stress we presented tools to build awareness and enabled conversations about stress with the audience.

For ice breakers we used the following to keep the 7 groups (involving the audience) 1) Stress Management – addressed the causes of stress and ways to manage it, 2) Diversity – shared experiences of feeling excluded and explored ways to build healthy communities, 3) Shaped By Our Past – discussed past experiences that shaped who they were today and 4) Getting to Know You – we had probing questions that helped get to their phobias, wishes and favorite moments of their lives and shared these with their groups. We got Physical, Built Relationships within groups we made, Improved Team Dynamics and most of all we had Fun!

The group continued with other activities and covered the most crucial areas of the topic being “Learning from Life _Balancing work and social life”. Life is a continuous learning experience. Throughout our lives we keep rising and falling, picking up important lessons along the way. Some of these lessons come from experience, yet there are others that we learn watching others, our children and from reading books. No matter how much we learn from the books there is a significant difference between practical and theoretical experience. Furthermore, there are many life lessons that we simply cannot learn until we face certain situations in our life. Most people would say that there are some lessons that come too late, catching us off-guard and unprepared.

Life balance seems is a topic on everyone’s mind lately. During the class discussion and presentation we discovered that “maintaining a healthy life balance in a not so perfect world is essential for happiness and well-being that it can boost a persons productivity and career success as well“. A well-balanced person has a far greater ability to focus their attention and energy on attaining their goals, taking productive actions and moving forward in a meaningful way.

The big question was, What does a life balance really mean? What would a balanced life look like to any of us? And most importantly, how do we go about achieving it in the midst of our crazy schedules? I learnt that there were steps that I can take to change what wasn’t working and get back some control and balance my hectic life. The key is not to try to change everything at once, but to make small adjustments over time to determine what works for me. Eventually I think I will have a whole new set of positive life habits …

The Saturday we were all waiting for came… and we did our best and achieved our goal… Yey!!!

Push lets go!!

Learning from Life: Week 6

I arrived late after the presentation was finished, and according to the manual week 6.  Presentation was about “Learning from Life” However  from the chalk board I saw “ Balancing life “ assuming they chose to write about Balancing life anyway, I have learned so many great lessons in life. We all have the list with some of the important lessons that had a great impact in our lives. There are more to come and I am ready, opened to them because if we do not accept that is why we end up having depression and all these sickness that we are scared to talk about them.

It is good to experience and accept all the challenges that come through. There are no mistakes, only lessons we need to master (Last class I learned and liked the statement “saying that things happened for us not the other way that we always say it happened to me. Lol!!).

If you learn from everything that happened for you, you will discover that there is no such thing as mistakes, only lessons to be learned. I have also learned “Forgiveness” is a gift that you give it to yourself, to be at peace, to be happy and to be able to sleep at night. You don’t forgive because you are weak but because you are strong enough to realize that only by giving up on bitterness will you be happy. If you hold on to poisonous thoughts like hate, anger, and resentment toward someone, you will end up poisoning yourself more than you poison the other person, and you will be very unhappy. In life you need to believe in yourself, nobody will. Don’t expect others to see gold where you can only see dust. If you don’t believe in yourself, if you don’t believe that you are capable, a worthy human being, chances are that nobody will. You will act on that belief and people will treat you based on what you think about yourself, based on how you treat yourself and based on how you act and behave in the world.

Past weeks I was angry ,and had few challenges and felt that I need to go see the psychologist, and later I told myself you know what I am not going to the psychologist I will make sure that every day before leaving my home.  I am dressed up nice and beautiful. Guess what it is working for me because the beautiful outside is easy to influence the inner spirit. I am still continuing and I am happy till today.

Another lesson learned when I drive to work to work every day there is this guy who sells newspaper he stand in the middle of the road and everyday he will wave his hands up to greet and when I respond back I noticed that I wave my hand with a smile on my face. Lessoned learn is that everyone is important he is a stranger, however still makes me smile when I wave back at him.

xx

Learning from life/Balancing Life!

I am a mother, a Wife, a student, a manager, a friend, a counsellor to my friends and family friends when they are at their lowest. As a woman we always encourage ourselves to go on even when it is not easy. This message came across in today’s facilitation class and need I say, I could relate in all angels. The question asked was can we balance 10 things in life at once? Yes is the answer, I mean I am already juggling more than one thing at a time. But how can I better manage those tasks? What really stood out for me is the breakdown of hours during the week and on weekends:

  • Mon- Fri Total of 126 Hours
  • 6 Hours of sleep
  • Mon- Fri Total of 126 Hours
  • 2 Hours of travel
  • 8 Hours remaining to split into 10 different tasks.

I then reached a conclusion as to why I at times do not always complete my tasks at a specified time, I need to better manage my time. This I can do by analysing the importance of each task then allocating the time needed to complete those tasks.

This was an Aha moment for me especially because the role that I am doing is unstructured and as a result I am constantly multitasking which results in me not completing given tasks at times. I also realised that my prioritising needs quite some work, I tend to start with the least important tasks reason being those might be the easiest at times and end up not allocating enough time the most important tasks.

This will help ease some stress and which will lead to better productivity at work. Not only that but this will allow me to have enough time with my family and have enough time allocated to my studies. Obviously unforeseen circumstances do happen but this for me is a start.

I have come to realise that when studying there can be a Social life and I look forward to applying these changes in my life in order to better enjoy my work and squeeze in some time for Myself, Socialising and Family.

Potso!

Learning from life

This is one of those topic that are a reminder about your life. As the group was presenting it just took me back and reflect about my personal life. I have learned to reflect at all my accomplishment in life and also the trial and tribulations I went through which made me a better person I am today.  I have learned that we learn about life in so many ways, through story telling, through experience and from other people’s lives. . Learning from life concept reminded me that I have to balance my life. I adopted the Wheel of Life tool which helps you to visualize all the important areas of my life and know which once that needs attention. The tool helps you to find life balance in terms of health, romance, career/work, parenting, Spirituality, social, development and wealth.

RESOLVING CONFLICT

Dealing and being involved in conflict is not nice.  It is how you deal with conflict that matters.

Listening just to respond is very dangerous.  Listening and hearing what the other person is saying is the best.  Most conflicts are caused by a little misunderstanding, that could have been avoided.  Listening with understanding is the key.

This topic is very crucial and it definitely changed my way of thinking.  Listening with your heart is the best 🙂

Facilitatig change

Nothing in life is permanent, except change

It is the only constant.

And one needs to remain open to change. 

I’d like to believe that I am open to change. The most significant changes for me were to move between provinces twice, to move between jobs, and to start studying a course from scratch despite being 3 subjects away from a qualification in another discipline. 

Since the beginning of this course, my paradigm has changed, and perceptions and perspectives have broadened. And hopefully I have helped shape my world, my sphere of influence.

 

Resolving Conflict…Building Relationships

Regrettably due to not feeling well, I was not able to attend the full day session on resolving conflict and building relationships.
Judging from the blog posts these two sessions were quite interesting and I am quite sad I missed them.
These two topics go hand in hand as part of resolving conflict is also about building relationships.
In my work environment I have experienced situations of conflict, the resolving of the conflict though has been a challenge. However after reading through the notes in the facilitation work book I have realised that I need to look at myself first and resolve my internal conflicts first.
Conflict is a part of life, however how conflict is handled and managed is what will determine a resolution.
Building relationships whether at work or personal relationships is hard work and requires a certain understanding of people dynamics.
Some of the things that need to be considered in building relationships are things like – respect, communication, trust, truth and forgiveness

Resolving Conflict

What is a resolving conflict? It is finding a way for more or two people to find a peaceful solution to a disagreement amongst them. Most of the disagreement may happen at home with family, friends, and finances and at work with your colleagues or clients. I have learned that I need to know how to control my emotions and behavior and improve my communication skills including listening skills.

The group that facilitated and demonstrated a great play in resolving conflict, and it made me realize that this is what I can be faced with or find myself in it because things like that it can happen at home or at work. The group gave a basic understanding of five approaches on how to resolve conflict namely:

  1. a) Competing
  2. b) Accommodating
  3. c) Avoiding
  4. d) Collaborating and
  5. e) Compromising

Having learned about all these types of people, I discovered in the end that most of us we find ourselves in this kind of conflict. It is more likely that we find it easy to accommodate conflict instead of avoiding such conflicts.

We dwell a little on book exercises with Roslyn, where she talked about a protocol for dealing with a point of view that is different to you. It talked about the path of protection and the path of evolution it was interesting when she took us through those challenges. She also taught us that conflict is about the space and we need to be in places to experience outside in what is happening between you and me. She also touched on the circle of conflict which on top is Relationships and it circles down to risk, hurt, withdraw and reclaiming your identity and risk it again. In the path of evolution, I learned about others, and myself how to go through the process of exploration. With the physical exercise that we did in class, it was easier to understand the protocol and that is different from mine.

Resolving conflict

Yay! Another full day … 

Our turn to facilitate!

I want to believe that at some point almost every syndicate groups had disagreements and argued about the topic/theme selection and/or member participation. Some groups experienced personality clashes and some members had strong personalities over others – controlling.  

Often times there’ll be those that avoid conflict and prefer to hold back and maintain peace at all costs however they withdraw from participating. In every conflict situation all parties must aim to collaborate and have a win-win outcome.

I, realised that most of us have strong personalities and sometimes it’s good to take a step back and allow others to be in charge and take the lead – I had to down play my character and “compromise” – This also made me realise that at times one needs to adapt to situations in order to get a positive outcome.

We did three exercises on the day: How to overcome barriers to communication, listening and protocols of dealing with point of view that is different to mine

One of the exercises was meant to illustrate our conscious bias – how we choose to omit certain information when we are having a dialogue with others. While the aim is to achieve a win-win situation through collaboration and being open minded through honouring differences marked by deep respect. 

… there I was, drifting again! My brains packed up it was too much for a Saturday – Information overload!

Building shared understanding

The team facilitated on building shared understanding and they explained the characteristics and role of a facilitator. Their elaboration showed a level of research and dedication to ensure the lesson is well facilitated and received by the audience. This reminded me of the first class when Ros explained the difference between a presenter and a facilitator.

The exercise we did whereby we had to write down all the highs and lows we had experienced in life took me off by surprise since I had a lot of highs but also a few lows I had not dealt with. This got me thinking and forced to face all the things which I had left behind as unfinished business.

My aha moment came from the discussion we had, were I realised that as individuals we have different views and it is those differences that define who we are. Going forward I will work to listen and try to understand people’s views before I dismiss them merely because I do not agree with what they have to say

RESOLVING CONFLICT

We finally had the long awaited workshop day which kickstarted with a group presentation on resolving conflict, they covered everything and made it look so easy. The group was well prepared, their simulations scenes and facilitation tools resembled real life experiences. I actually saw a lot of my usual reactions to similar conflict situations. I knew then that this was going to be a very long day with my emotions being all over the show.

Darling Ross put us in pairs, I found more challenging to deal with, we did an exercise on barriers of communication, where l learnt about being judgmental towards others when they are talking, in short I’m not a good listener that I thought I was…l do not give people time to express themselves, l keep interrupting and wanting to dominate a conversation.

The left hand column exercise made me reflect on an incident that had hurt me for months and was trying to put it behind me. I almost broke down while doing most of the exercises for that class. I felt as if I was confronted with the situation that I tried to bury for the past year or so. One thing that I realized that day is that we are all dealing with stuff, we don’t all have everything figured out…you look at people smiling and saying they are good and fine but inside we are hurt and don’t know how to resolve conflict we’ve caused or someone has caused in our lives.
If there is a lesson I need to go back to and reflect again and again is this “Resolving Conflict” lesson.

EXPRESSING GRATITUDE

On the week of the two full-day sessions, i was hospitalised. This unfortunate event brought about the most significant mind shifts in my adulthood. I realised i was not superhuman, which I subconsciously believed I was. The last class reinforced the necessity of gratitude even under the worst of circumstances. I believe I made a lifelong friend in hospital for which I am eternally grateful.

WEEK 6- Resolving Conflict And Building Relationships

Resolving Conflict

A lesson I have learned in life is that we cannot avoid conflict and sometimes conflict is needed in order to address issues as they surface. I don’t like confrontation at all, it’s not easy but “you can’t change what you refuse to confront “.Issues must surface and be addressed and to allow growth.

As people we can be internally and externally conflicted and in order to resolve conflict, it needs to start within ourselves to find that inner peace. Conflict starts within us before it surfaces out. I have learned through this class to 1st deal with what is within before because I might be the course of the very same conflict I want to resolve.

Building Relationships

Building relationships requires a lot of work. There are so many dynamics to consider when building a relationship and the most important one is love, I cant build what I don’t love or have interest on and the approved must be from a point of wholeness – meaning I must be a stable person emotionally . I believe there is a lot to consider like :

  • Respect
  • Forgiveness
  • Sympathy and Empathy
  • Communication
  • Care
  • Honesty/transparency
  • Truthfulness
  • Trust
  • Suspending judgment

The list is endless but these are most important, I believe if these building blocks are well utilized, we will all have sustainable relationships. I learned more about these from facilitation 2018 and I will use it in my own life .

 

 

Resolving Conflict…………….Building Relationships

Today is our day to facilitate, been here since 07:00……… We prepared and anxiously waited for everyone to come through, our nervous actually turned into laughter and we ended up actually enjoying ourselves.

RESOLVING CONFLICT – our aim was to give the class tools to resolve their conflicts as you can use tools for different situations.

We gave them different techniques of how to resolve conflicts, which are control, accommodating others, avoiding and comprising. Collaborating with each other helps a lot in facilitation groups. If you avoid your team members, you might miss important opportunities.

We gave the class sweets with a card saying “LETS WORK IT OUT” with the word vertically written RESOLVE,

R – reach out, come together with the person you are having conflict with.

E – engage in a conversation, remain calm and make sure to talk one at a time.

S – seek to solve the problem, agree to come up with sensible solutions you both can accept.

O – open up , calmly communicate your side of story to explain how you feel.

L – listen intently, listen to the other person so that you understand their point of view.

V – voice solutions, brainstorm solution to resolve your conflict together.

E – end on a good note, agree to the solutions; give a compliment and shake hands.

Conflict is something that we all deal with on a daily basis. Conflict arises due to people with different views, lifestyles, cultures, and personalities, levels of education etc. interacting with each other in a personal or professional context.

The second group to facilitate had to facilitate a workshop on Building Relationships. This could have been a great facilitation IF the group had more time. The Facilitation was had a lot of activities and the facilitators had to rush through the activities, but overall it was a good facilitation.

 

Freeing your mind

Its another week of a full day class, I was exhausted last week. The morning and evening classed are totally different and fusing them was a bit too much for me. I am here again today because in as much as I was exhausted I really enjoyed our interactions.

Ros kudos to you, I do not know how you are able to five so much of yourself after seeing this morning bunch. I am sure you are also relieved that this is the last full day session.

I did my points tapping exercise and feel ready for an eventful day.

Conflict Resolution

As human beings we are prone to get into conflict with one another because of our different views and understanding of situations. Everyone has their own story to tell, their own views and at times expectations. Once their views are different from ours, or the so called public knowledge or expectations, conflict start to surface. I have learned that conflict in inevitable and we need to embrace is in order to find a common ground. What is key for me would be how we resolve the conflict and keeping in mind that we are different as people. Respect another person’s view if we cannot reach a common ground with an understanding that we may be coming from a different school of thoughts.
Quite a nice topic.

Conflict Resolution

I am generally such a non- confrontational person, so when I find myself in the face of rising conflict , wherever possible I tend to run a mile a minute in the opposite direction. I have seen conflict break people down and diminish their confidence to a point of feeling completely insignificant, while others’ egos rise to a point of feeling invincible.

Conflict however, big or small is ever present in our daily lives and sometimes necessary even, be it personal conflict with friends and family, professional conflict in the workplace, emotional conflict – heck, there are days when we are in conflict with ourselves.  We so often make it personal when in fact it”s not about you and me but rather the space between u as described by Ross. We allow ourselves to become riled up and allow a difference in opinion to fuel anger and resentment toward each other. I believe that it is not the difference in opinion but rather the lack of being heard that hinders conflict resolution and respecting our differences. In essence we all have a voice and want to be heard.

I have now completely changed my view on conflict. Rather than run for the hills in avoidance i will approach conflict with a collaborative effort for resolution.

facilitating change

You can’t just force people to change by management decree. To facilitate change, you must change their underlying assumptions with a credible plan. our own assumptions about what motivates people will determine the success or failure of your change program. If your assumptions are incorrect, you may miss a valuable opportunity, that of gaining stakeholder ownership of the change process.

“Why is this?”, you ask. People do what they do for a reason. A person’s behavior (what we observe) is an expression of their underlying beliefs and assumptions. To make our want to facilitate change appealing to others, we must understand why they do what they do.

The Eminem Effect

I completely missed the Eminem 8 Mile frenzy when it hit in 2002, and even though I had been exposed to the music which catapulted Eminem to international stardom, it was many years later when I actually sat down and watched the film and truly appreciated the genius in the storyline, lyrics and intellectual properties. Eminem is well-deserving of every bit of success he has enjoyed.

Besides the obviously inspirational tale of Eminem’s come-up from a trailer park to the upper echelons of musical society, the message of unconscious bias is clearly communicated in the film. It wasn’t until this facilitation class that I became aware that we are all, in our daily interactions with others, either victims or perpetrators of unconscious bias.

Whether it’s our need for acceptance which leads us to falling in with the opinions of others through conformity bias, or the beauty bias which makes us judge people on their looks and appearances. If we aren’t aware of our biases, we could end up missing out on truly incredible encounters with interesting individuals.

Eminem used this unconscious bias well as his 8 Mile character obliterated his competition in the rap contest by playing on in/out group bias, using his status to sway the audience in his favour. This remarkable play on unconscious bias was exceptional in its execution as his audience was practically unaware of how they were being manipulated based on their collective biases.

We tend to want to err on the side of safety and reject those we cannot bring ourselves to identify with. It’s easy to assume that because someone’s appearance is different to what we think is socially acceptable or “normal”, that they are odd and should be avoided. Perceptions are not easily changed, but if you can change your outlook, drop your unconscious bias and give people a chance by accepting them as, and for who, they are the world would be a very different place.

Conflict Resolution

 

The conflict resolution class quickly conflicted with my own past. It was such an emotional-awareness triggering day. I left pretty much exhausted, exhausted by the fact that I did a lot of reflecting and realized how terrible I am at resolving conflict. We don’t really like it when we are dealt with our own ugly realities, do we? The topic was well presented by the team, quite informative too.

The session started off with us learning about how points of views that differ from our own lead us down the paths of either protection or evolution. Protection means one chooses to be right because of their own assumptions, unconscious bias and perceptions, in this situation, we barely listen and try to understand the next person. Evolution is the path that leads to personal growth as we learn to listen to each other’s needs and let go of our own perceptions and assumptions. I didn’t necessarily have an AHA moment, I uncomfortably learnt that my selfishness, pride and lack of accountability has more often than not contributed to conflict and its lack of resolution.

 

Week 6: Learning from life

In today’s session, the group facilitated on pain, might I add they did a good job creating this uncomfortable emotion. They asked us to think back to a place when we experienced pain. One of the speakers invited by the facilitating group shared a story about her parents going through a divorce while she was young and her father only remembered her mother during his last days on earth.  I loved how light she made the whole story and I could relate to her story.  I thought the group had researched well touching on emotional pain, psychological pain as well as  physical pain.

I believed this group was on track until one of the group members voiced out her dissatisfaction  with her group, because they ran out of time. I think she was supposed to raise it privately within her group and not involve the rest of the group. It place both Roslyn and us in a weird place, but as always there was a lesson to learn from all of this. Funny enough I thought the group member who complained was trying to be funny and they were all in on the joke. Only to find that it was all real. We then continued to discuss ways to to handle such situations.

Which reminded me of the first techniques we learned in this class about taking one out of the situation. “the balcony and the dance. This helps one understand group dynamics and any interactions taking place. We continued to discuss how to work with others within a team. This is an important skill that I will apply within my work environment as we work mostly as teams.

Important points to remember is understanding the team vision and goal or purpose. Understand what motivates team members within the different teams. We discussed intrinsic and extrinsic rewards. I am definitely motivated by job satisfaction and achieving my purpose and not necessarily by money (Extrinsic). For the team to reach their goal they need to understand and communicate clearly, be willing to collaborate as well as be dedicated to their work, thus be passionate. I think the  most important one is setting rules of engagement, thus when people default they cannot blame anyone else. They would have understood what is permissible and what isn’t permissible.

This brings out to leading a team, we have all been in leadership position, whether it is at home, work or other groups like at church. It is important to highlight that the team needs to have a shared vision. Members must be engaged and clear communication at all times to also ensure conflict is resolved.

It is interesting how the steps highlighted in Team cohesion process take place naturally as I have experienced them before without necessarily being aware that the debating is a normal process calling storming and once the team members start having a normal conversation it is called the norming stage until there is solid collaboration and the team is performing.

We closed off the day by playing a game which brought out the type of person one is most likely to play. I definitely and the motivator and encourage the members to keep going no matter what.

Facilitation Skills – BLOG 6

Finally, my groups turn for facilitation 🙂

Got to WITS at 6:30am, this was going to be another long Saturday, I was really excited that our facilitation time had come, couldn’t believe that the weeks of planning that was put in to the day had finally come for us to execute, the topic that we facilitated on was Resolving Conflict, we started off with a dramatization of conflict within our group followed by brief definitions of Controlling, Accommodating, Avoiding and Comprise tools that could be useful in resolving conflict. We concluded with the last tool, which was Collaboration, this tool is the tool that we should practice when faced with a conflict.

We received very good feedback from the rest of the class and we were definitely ecstatic about that, which was a highlight for my group and me 🙂

We then got into the Left hand and Right-hand exercise, the knowledge gained from this exercise is that we are too critical of others than ourselves; we judge others too quickly and hate it when others do it to us. We become so unconscious in the way we communicate and do not take responsibility, we need to realize that learning starts with awareness. Words create worlds, we need to take care of our words, we are responsible for our response, we control our response and reaction, our mind only knows positive it does not know negativity

Week 6_Resolving Conflict

Hectic past two weeks indeed. Classrooms were combined and my oh my, we are a huge intake this semester!

‘Thank goodness for the split of morning and afternoon sessions’ is all that I was thinking at first, then the Resolving Conflict facilitation began… I took the lessons learnt from this facilitation back to my working environment especially, where the realization hit me that we are all different, we all have different opinions, we all have different points of views and outlooks on an array of various topics. These differences is exactly what defines us, the humans that occupy this world, our individual distinctions and uniqueness is what must be celebrated and commemorated instead of segregating one another and ‘othering’ people that have different opinions to what we do.

How boring would it be if we all thought the same, looked the same, did everything in the same way…How mundane! and boring is what was going through my mind constantly during this facilitation.

The important message of this facilitation is that we are all unique individuals and all need to have our view points noted and heard.

The importance of listening to one another is key to making one feel special and heard, we each have a voice that has an opinion that needs to be projected and spoken. Giving people the time of day to feel and be heard is key in building confidence in people and building relationships.

 

 

Week 6: Resolving Conflict – Our Big Day

So it was our big day, after weeks of planning and rehearsing our facilitation piece it was finally time to hit the stage. Leading up to this day was a wonderful experience. I have an AMAZING team, we get along really well, each has their own unique personalities and ideas and what we eventually came up with was something that had a bit of everyone in it.  I still find myself lost in thought, smiling to myself and thinking about the funny moments we shared, the endless laughing and the love and togetherness I felt in my team.  It was so special.

My learning started even before we had to showcase our piece. We were all of TEN people, strangers, different, all with one common purpose. We found joy and trust and respect in each other.  Everything that we had learned since the first class started to play out in our group, from understanding each other, to listening, to taking ourselves to the balcony, to checking in and respecting each others views and opinions. We constantly thought of our dual  purpose and intention (working in collaboration as a team and helping the class understand conflict and work through conflict). It changed how me, it changed me in a way that surprised me, I kept myself open, I did not control, I did not judge and I thought of the team as ONE and not TEN. I need to do more of this both in my personal and professional lives, that was something that I was clear about.

Our facilitation piece turned out better than we even expected, in fact, we enjoyed it as much as our audience. Before we started, we all burst out into spontaneous laughter, we giggled so hard that we had to take a few minutes to get ourselves together before we started. Again, watching this team, this team of ONE was incredible, it made me feel so proud and happy.  We had great feedback, we achieved our purpose and we had fun. What an amazing experience, what amazing people and incredible learning and introspection. THANK YOU TEAM! XXX

Resolving Conflicts

I came into this weeks class thinking about the fact that I shall learn how to win every conversation or argument that I might have. To my surprise I have learned that in every situation l should learn to see things in a different perspective. I should try to see things from someone’s perspective as well. As much as I might think that I am correct and the next person thinks the same, therefore its vital that I look everything in different perspectives.

If I am not ready to allow them to be or they are not ready to allow me to be, I should give the situation some time. Walk away from trying to resolve the conflict at that moment . Give the situation a time off. Accept that the other person will come and speak to me when they are ready and vise versa. It takes a strong and matured person to do that. I have learned to do that you must master yourself. mastering yourself is not as easy as it is said.

In most situations the conflict can be easily resolved only if both parties are willing to see the situation as different perspectives, from yourself and the other persons perspectives. Going into a conflict with n expected outcome of win win conclusion is the best remedy for any conflict.

Resolving conflict – Building relationships

It’s week 6 and I find myself looking forward to each facilitation piece every week to see what the groups have in store for us. This week’s facilitation is about resolving conflict and building relationships.

This couldn’t have come at a worst time. I had already spent the night before tossing and turning with the argument I’d had the day before with someone senior in our organisation playing over and over in my mind. So we go through the facilitation and we are taught about the different ways of resolving conflict. My mind is still firmly on  the experience the day before, I’ve thought about it a hundred different ways and I’m convinced I was right. The way I reacted is the only way I could have under the circumstances. What else could I have done except defend myself, that’s what you do when you’re under attack.

This changes when we break up into groups of two and we have to share a recent conflict.  The more we discussed conflict as a pair and as the bigger group, I then realise that I could have avoided the conflict but I chose to stand my ground. I had a choice to make, a choice that would determine how my relationship with the individual at work would be going forward.

I left class that day with Roslyn having convinced me that I had to choose a path of growth. That meant taking responsibility for my part in the conflict, it escalated because I allowed it to. The only way I can move forward is by rebuilding the relationship and that meant apologising for the way I had reacted.

I knew I would spend the rest of the weekend practising what I would say and how I would say it……

 

 

#Facilitating Change: Learning balance as a mature student

So eventually the day arrived!

Group 5’s chance to do a facilitation piece for the class.  Oh the nerves.  We were well prepared though.  Our Group had started working on our “run sheet” directly after lesson 1.  Eager beavers, I know.

In the end I was glad with the way our presentation went off.  Time management and giving the class tools on how to measure their productivity and reflect on how satisfied with the areas in their life – are important.  We don’t take the time for introspection.  So this was a great opportunity.

I was especially glad on how Ros wrapped up our session – picking up on Stephen Covey’s Quadrants of importance.

What did I learn from this experience.  You can never have enough support.  The team work demonstrated by our Group was phenomenal, with everyone pulling together and demonstrating their own strengths forming a cohesive Group.

 

 

 

Conflict and Relationships. We Are Resolving and Building!

Ave ku rough!

It turns out the new group members are not so bad. We hardly meet and by the last day I am frustrated and tempers’ about to flare but we got this holding it together on lock down. Breathe child, we are adults. There must be a magic wand somewhere or we are truly lucky. We nail our facilitation and go out like B.O.S.S! We made the pots y’all (oops. i really don’t like the pots joke and sentiment).

As you can guess, I am ecstatic the group work is behind us.Behind me. Wait a minute, was it that much of a breeze? No. We held space for each other. We remembered what was important when all threatened to come down. And I must admit one of the easiest groups since my being at Wits. And even after the facilitation is through, we still meet each other with genuine warmth and laughter, the group is still active. As for my group anxiety, we’ll see in the next one but I certain I have the skills to maneuver conflict and building working relationships.

The decision spiral was such an eye opener. Conflict, depending on how it is handled, facilitates growth. It indicates when it is time to leave or be raised in the current space. It affirms one’s placing and position by serving as a reminder that anytime one has to ease, appease or please then it is time to reevaluate and renegotiate the space.

One was also reminded that “the meaning of your communication is the response you got from the other person”, and in the end how you respond is your responsibility, instead of entering into the realm of right and wrong; unpack the arguement or source of conflict.

Often we bring matters of our previous relationships into our current. Irrespective of whether the relationship is platonic, professional or sexual. We still bring baggage. For instance “ave ku rough” as the attitude I keep regarding group work or peopling (having to deal with a lot of people) and my social anxiety. Ultimately it is the work we put on ourselves that helps us navigate and communicate better and become more mindful of those we seek to build relationships with.

Today’s lesson:Check yourself!

—Rethabile

Resolving Conflict and Building relationships – 25 August 2018

No Compromise!

3 – Source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/low-angle-photo-of-people-doing-huddle-up-1092373/

 

I am the biggest culprit of making conflict about me so this class was super helpful to learn that is conflict resolution and building relationship; you have to separate yourself from conflict.

 

The deeper and close the relationship; the higher the risk of getting hurt. The harder you also have to work at rebuilding that kind of relationship.

 

Learning to remove yourself from a situation to resolve an issue or to see it different or with new eyes allows you to learn new things. Unlearning old ways of doing things is not easy.

 

Types of Conflict Resolution Styles are:

  • Avoiding the Conflict: Avoiding or withdrawing from a conflict involves no courage or consideration for the other party. Avoiding conflict, means pretending that it never happened or does not exist.
  • Giving In: Giving in or compliance to the other party involves a lot of cooperation and little courage. You agree to accommodate the other party by allowing and tolerating their point of view or suggestion.
  • Standing your Ground: While standing your ground involves courage, it can also be selfish. By applying this style; you are fundamentally competing with the other party; you will do anything to ensure that you win the battle.
  • Compromising: Compromising/Bargaining is a big step toward conflict resolution. Both courage and consideration are used when both parties look for common ground.
  • Collaborating: Collaboration plays a major role within conflict resolution and necessitates unlimited bravery and much thought.

 

 I concede that as difficult as it is to give in or compromise; these techniques can help build relationships in the end.

Resolving Conflict

 

Conflict refers to some form of friction between two or more parties when the beliefs or actions of one or more members of the group to do not agree ,or if they are resistant or unacceptable.

Conflict is caused by many factors but the most common ones are misunderstandings, poor communication, lack of planning and frustration. I have personally learned that you cannot resolve a conflict if the other party is not willing to accept their mistakes.

Conflict can be resolved by remaining calm and avoiding negative talk and compromising and allowing the other person to talk,in some cases it can be resolved.

 

WEEK 6

RESOLVING CONFLICT

This week is the second full day 08:00 – 16:30. Group six is my group. We thank God that we nailed it and received a good feedback from the class, really we were prepared for this day, and we manage to use our tools correctly on point.

We were talking about Resolving Conflict between us as group members. We used 5 tools that we think can help conflict.
1. Controlling Approach To Conflict
2. Avoiding Approach To Conflict
3. Accommodation Approach To Conflict
4. Compromise Approach To Conflict
5. Collaboration Approach To Conflict.
The one that was our major weapon or stood out for us was Collaboration. Collaboration approach to conflict is to manage it by maintaining interpersonal relationships and enduring that all parties to the conflict achieve their interests.

Week 6: Resolving Conflict

This week we learnt a lot about the different ways of resolving conflict.  Again, it goes back to personalities.

My aha! moment was wrapped up in this quote, “The meaning of your communication is the response the other person has”.  This means that whatever intention you have for whatever you’ve said to the other person, is not relevant to the other person because how they receive it is what they consider to be the true meaning.  Many times we speak without thinking about our tone, the words we choose, the environment we are in, and our different personalities in general.   As long as it sounds good for us, then it should be good for the next person.

We went through a few exercises concerning communication.  When we ask someone something, we often don’t think about what it is that we are actually trying to accomplish.  We make assumptions about people and when they fall short, we are unhappy about the outcome.  We also seldom say what we are feeling or thinking.  We try and find ways to dilute our true feelings and thoughts so as to not be seen as too emotional or rude.

Very often than not, the behaviours we don’t like or hate when people do, are the very same behaviours other people see in us (and sometimes we see them in ourselves as well, if we are honest about it).  We are quick to judge others and forget to self-reflect.

Week 6 – Resolving Conflict

I especially enjoyed this weeks’ facilitation, because it talked about conflict resolutions, because I most often don’t know how to deal with conflict. I am always between being responsive, which might mean I end up in a more messier situation or keeping quiet and risk being walked all over as I feel like if you don’t stand up for yourself people are likely to disregard you or your feelings because you never want to engage in a sort of conflict.

I have however learned that it is wise to assess situations and that there are some situations where your just got to let things be for the sake of peace, whereas in some situations you have to stand firm and defend yourself or rather engage in this conflict to reach an amicable decision. The key for me to resolving conflict is admitting when you are wrong and knowing when to keep quite.

Conflict resolution and building relationships

the second full day began with a facilitation on conflict resolution. The members acted out the group’s formation stage and it’s dynamics, all this in an attempt to bring us the audience to the practical conflict resolution situation. The topic was well researched and informative as they concluded with the conflict resolution strategies, Accomodating; Compromising; Avoiding; Competing and the collaborating strategy can help us attain workplaces bottom lines when executed well.

 

The components of building relationships were facilitated through speed dating style. The facilitation comprised of different facilitation  tools; interaction was very high as members interacted with a minimum of six individuals per component topic and the how to make rain exercise, everybody went home with it. This type of facilitating requires time and this was seen as the audience were left requesting for additional time to enjoy the facilitation further. I’m glad that I’m going back to enjoy my Saturday morning sleep as we are taking a mid term break and prepare my draft essay!

Resolving Conflict

One can experience conflict in various ways, with friends, family,colleagues, kids, and partners. But the question is how do we resolve conflict so that we come to a common ground and that all parties involved say what they feel and come to an agreement as to how it can be resolved. Resolving conflict is never easy as there will always someone that will believe they right and the other is wrong, and that person will just not come to reason, some will feel it’s an attack as well and they will defend themselves, but either way no matter the scenario how does one resolve conflict.

I loved how the group explained how conflict manifest and how it impacts every one involved and the different types of conflict, and how it can be overcome by using the different techniques as conflict is not something that needs to be permanent it’s something that can be worked out in a mature and respectful way.

For myself what i took away is that people are not out to get you, or expose your faults but they merely trying to tell you how your behavior impacts the people around you, and that you should work on them.

Week 6

Another full day class underway.
Sitting in class on this morning, I distinctly remember thinking, I wish some of my closest relations were attending this session with me.
Experiencing some personal conflict of my own at the time, this session really hit home.

I was reminded that no matter the situation, it is how I react to it, that will determine the ultimate outcome. Although you may be part of a certain unpleasant, conflict situation it is not always about you & at times you need to really take a moment to look beyond the current moment and try and understand the origin of the conflict. What state of mind the individual is in, and what caused or sparked the conflict.

I specifically liked and noted the statement Roslyn made “Conflict – we make it about you & me, when it’s actually about the space between us, which is polluted”.

I have also realised something about myself. Based on past experiences, I hate conflict, and try to avoid it at all costs which in turns means I withdraw to a solemn place of complete silence. In this place however, I take the time to pray and rely on God to guide the situation as I know my reactions could be detrimental to myself, and it is much safer in Gods hands.
Relationships are not easy, if you have decided it is worth it then make the effort to make it work.
We live and we learn…

Resolving Conflict and Building Relationships

The groups that facilitated this week really set the bar high and I’m becoming more and more worried because our group is next. The lesson I’ve learned  from the resolving conflict group is that one should be a team player and always take into consideration the inputs of the group members.

I was really fascinated by the group that facilitated on building relationships, making it rain was the highlight. I liked the whole idea of speed dating  and how they executed their facilitation piece, like that was Aha moment.

The left hand  column exercise was very interesting and fun to do,  the stories we shared with our partners were hilarious. We went on to discuss the four phases of communication and what I’ve learned from this exercise is that the meaning of your communication is the response you get from the other person. Words creates worlds,  I love this quote , it clearly conveys that words are powerful.

 

Resolving Conflict and Building Relationships

The first group to facilitate spoke about Resolving Conflict. They reenacted a situation where they as a group conflicted with each other. They discussed how and why conflict arises and ultimately how conflict can be avoided or resolved.

Conflict is something that we all deal with on a daily basis. Conflict arises due to people with different views, lifestyles, cultures, personalities, levels of education etc. interacting with each other in a personal or professional context.

The second group to facilitate had to facilitate a workshop on Building Relationships. This could have been a great facilitation IF the group had more time. The Facilitation was jampacked with activities and the facilitators had to rush through the activities, but overall it was a good facilitation.

By this time I was already thinking of how I am going to tackle the reflective essay and I could not wait for Roslyn to discuss it.

RESOLVING CONFLICT

Today 25 August I have learned a lot under the theme “Resolving conflict”.

I have just discovered that in order for me to be able to manage conflict, I should be controlling, accommodating, avoiding and compromising. I have just discovered that taking responsibility and taking action is not one and the same thing. I have realized that conflict is not about me and you but about the space between me and you.

Image result for resolving conflict images

I fully agree with Roslyn as she mentioned that before conflict comes differences. We get addicted to being right. I liked this quote “we do not see the world as it but we see the world as we see it.

I enjoyed the 2nd group (presentation) about the theme “building relationships”. I have learned about the importance of communication in the relationship. The group clearly demonstrated that sometimes we hold back and not tell all.

28 August 2018 Resolving Conflict & Building Relationships

Second full day class 08:00 – 16:30
I was ready for this facilitation because it wanted to learn more on resolving conflicts and building relationships.

The group did well on facilitating resolving conflict and they had information. They also acted out the drama conflict they faced , preparing their class room facilities. Each individual had a technic of resolving conflict
accomodating others
avoiding
Controlling
Compromising

I learnt that i need to be accomodating because i am an avoider in conflicts however i speak my mind and i am also learning to accommodate others. Which isn’t easy at time because i am so use to avoiding conflict.

The group in the end gave us sweets. Written let work it out… Creativity i must say…

Building Relationships

Focal point was trust , respect and maintenance of good relationship.
We build relationships everything day. Some are meant to work out and others no. That is one thing is always maintain at heart.

We then swopped books as an exercise and did a dialogue.
We also discussed relationship circle which consists of risk, hurt,protective, withdraw and reclaiming identity.

Hand exercise pulse, which was interesting Ros said it helps if one is very nervous for an exam.

In closing we discussed what is required of us after two weeks study break and we also closed of early.

Missing in Action

From reading all the comments from my fellow students it appears missing the two classes has really robbed me out of a very interesting and informative day. however thankfully my health is back to what it should so there will be no more missing in action.

its funny how now with this class I approach things especially at work differently. I have a supervisor who like me talks a lot and we often but heads as our characters are similar. however now when we butt heads instead of taking her head on I step on to the balcony and just observe. when she has calmed down a bit I do the same with her and we usually realize a big fuss over a tiny thing was made. peace reigns again in our space.

A not so easy way out.

wow the groups on conflict resolutions were able to make sense on how to deal with the conflict. I have learned that as people we deal differently with conflict and it is all depending on the way you respond to conflict.

my  respond is more important even if I am on the write I might end up being wrong if I respond negatively.

I am glad that now I am getting more self aware than before. we all humans and makes mistakes, but now after making that mistake I am now able to reflect and make corrections. I am more in charge of my reactions then before.

Resolving Conflicts

Conflict is something that is unavoidable and we experience it  almost every day in our lives, whether in our personal lives or professional. We all had our fair share of it.

A lot can be said about it, hence there are conflict management courses.

I think respect is the foundation here. Conflicts can be healthy as long as the attitude is right, as long as all parties involved want to reach the common goal and nobody dominates anyone.

During this facilitation course we were taught that everyone is right, and that principle will work best during conflicts.

Even thought conflicts brings out lots of emotion:

  • Frustrations
  • Anger

A lot can be learned from conflicts:

  • Self awareness
  • Your view is not always the best view
  • You learn to listen
  • Compromise
  • Better decision making

 

Feed back on week 6

Resolving Conflict.  This was a second full day class again. When we get there the room set up was already done. The facilitating group was wearing red aprons to define conflict. The topic and members of the group were perfectly introduced. The topic was clearly played and interacted perfectly with the audience. We have learnt different techniques  of how to resolve conflicts which are control, accomodating others, avoiding and comprising. Collaborating with each other helps a lot in facilitation groups. If you avoid your team members you might miss important opportunities. We were given sweets with a card saying “LETS WORK IT OUT” with the word vertically written RESOLVE,  R – reach out, come together with the person you are having conflict with. E – engage in a  conversation, remain calm and make sure to talk one at a time. S – seek to solve the problem, agree to come up with sensible solutions you both can accept. O – open up , calmly communicate your side of story to explain how you feel. L – listen intently, listen to the other person so that you understand their point of view. V – voice solutions, brainstorm solution to resolve your conflict together. E – end on a good note, agree to the solutions; give a compliment and shake hands. All these ideas one can use in day to day life, at work places, home, church, everywhere.  After lunch the afternoon facilitating group took over. The room set up as well as the topic of Building Relationship. Theme was played very well which reflected more of the team work and more of the interaction with some part of the audience. Their objective was ” getting to understand the impact our actions have on other people and how other people’s actions impact on us. Different traits were discussed and given by the audience, like; communicate freely, reliable, having common goals etc.  Back to Roslyn, we were still on clear thinking, mental models, here we hear through our lens of thinking the world.  The structures are filters, how to create a trust, deletion, I don’t know until you tell me, select data. Distortions picture of the world, take information to fit into my head. The last one generalisation, general thinking about people. We also learnt about RAS The Reticular Activating System, looking what we except. You don’t get what you want but you get what you deserve. We were still on clear thinking, The decimal spiral, we have two options, self reinforcing loop assumptions and beliefs make you to select your own data, self fulfilling loop, everything based on the data I selected, I select the data that fulfills myself. 1 sense something 2 select information 3 interpret what you saw and make assumptions make meaning 4 feel bad if not selected 5 assumptions make beliefs 6 conclude on something – assumptions come to a decision on conclusion. We also touched on communication intelligence, the excerise was done even though I was late which taught me not to be quick to judge on others. The next exercise was to be in 2 pairs and write each other story. We have learnt to say or write a story, you pause and reflect on the story. We have learnt 4 phases of communication 1 download, information I tell you and you tell me 2 debate knock down, me me 3 conversation I tell the truth my own point of view 4 collaboration a dialogue, share a story with open mind. Learn with awareness, meaning of your communication is the response you get from other person. Sense what you are talking about , interpret what to say feeling for the story. Personal mastering, how you behave has no plan and no impact. There is a reality that belongs to me, we see the world as we are. Relationship, the deeper the relationship the higher the risk. There is hurt ( hurt of loss of identity and loss of who I am). We learnt about protective circle; there is a relationship, risk, hurt, you withdraw and reclaim back your identity. We all have responsibility being a position or situation. Take responsibility and take action, be responsible rather than to blame. Responsibility, the ability to response to what I chose. I have learnt a lot in one day and had fun as usual.

Building Relationships

How best can I build relationships. Are relationships continuously built, continuous scaffolding, and getting to know a person. No relationship is the same are rules of engagement the same.

I of the aha moments I had, was when Roslyn said, ” you don’t get what you want or what you need, but, you get what you deserve”!!!

I’m a huge believer of The Secrete, Ask, Believe, Receive. Power of attraction, the universe gives you what you want.

What is my confirmation bias? What are the stories I tell about myself to myself? What do I tell the universe about myself.

Am I willing to open myself to new possibilities and knowing that I could be hurt, but do I withdraw and shut myself away, or do I get up an try again.

Resolving conflict

The content for this course is always surprising. At first glance in the course pack it may seem like a simple topic but once we begin to unpack it  – there is always so much to take away from it.

In this case one learns that everyone experiences conflict in some way or the other and when I think about myself I have some work to do to improve how I approach and resolve conflict. Typically I would keep my head down and ignore something until it builds up and leads to a venting session that resembles an eruption of frustration – not exactly the best way to go about it nor is it fair to the person on the receiving end. In these scenarios I don’t think I use the best words to express myself and I now see that how you say something is equally as important as what is said.

Something I realized is that I should steer clear of making assumptions, try to see the other persons perspective and not get hung up on being right. Note to self: aim for more share and discover type conversations.

#AsToldByTiff

Resolving Conflict

This week involved a lot of personal reflections, I remember having a conversation with someone and saying it felt like a therapy session. I only attended the morning session because things were starting to get a bit too much with other modules, essays to complete etc; I was just feeling a lot of pressure.

The morning group focused on resolving conflict and as they were facilitating (excellently done), it made me think and reflect about the personal and professional conflicts I’ve had and how I handled them. I’m a person who usually avoid conflicts and when faced with one I usually walk away and never revisit the issue. What I learnt is that as human beings we are addicted to being right all the time, and that communication becomes significant in avoiding conflict, being able to listen to the next person and enabling them to speak their truth.

After doing an exercise were we had to write down a tricky situation we had been involved in, in a form of a dialogue, it was eye opening in a sense that it made me realize that sometimes during a conflict or conversation we get caught up in making assumptions, getting angry that we don’t listen to what the other person is saying. Before conflict comes difference; we all have our own ideas and we won’t always agree on things, it’s important that we become aware of our assumptions . Sometimes it is important to withdraw , let go in order to reclaim your identity.

“Conflict is not about you and me but about the space between us”

Week 6

Finding yourself is an unselfish process that is at the root of everything we do in life. In order to be the most valuable person to the world around us, the best partner, best self, we have to first know who we are, what we value and, in effect, what we have to offer. This personal journey is one every individual will benefit from taking. It is a process that involves shedding layers that do not serve us in our lives and don’t reflect who we really are. Yet, it also involves a tremendous act of building up, realizing who we want to be and fulfilling our destiny. It’s a matter of recognizing our personal power, yet being open and vulnerable to our experiences.

Week 6 – Building Relationships / Resolving Conflict

Today was the facilitation piece we did on Building Relationships. The day has finally come and as it got closer to the time, the nerves started to unsettle. Not knowing how the class would respond started to become a reality. There was last minute changes that did not help the nerves but staying focus on the objective was important. That was my anchor and as long as it was what was best for the group and trusting the group to do their part and it was about the audience I believed it would be ok. It was an opportunity to put all those theory to practice and what better way to do it than in a learning environment. What I did not expect was people would be that tired at the end of a long day. I think for the most part they were engaged but towards the end I could sense the fatigue. Perhaps what I could have done differently was to ask the audience to get up and move around to re-energise the room. To change the energy in the room. But lessons well learnt.

As it turned out Roz sensed the students fatigue as well. The students were way to tired to revive even for her so we went home early. With all the challenges we had the experience itself was great though and I think our group was awesome for the first time as facilitators. I am thankful for the experience but I am also glad it’s done.

resolving conflict

one night i was sitting with friends and we were drinking .one of my friends started talking about her boyfriend and she would not  shut up about him .so to shut her up i told her that her boyfriend was a good for nothing  loser  and that he was using her so she needed to   wake up and smell the coffee instead of  singing this guys praises.my friend wasn’t happy  with the statement i made we got to arguing and almost got into a fist fight,because i was drunk i  was sticking to my words and i was not going to take them back course thats how i really felt about the guy .

long story short when we were doing the resolving conflict exercise i realized that i could have handled the situation differently.like shouldn’t have said the things i said in front of the others girls as a friend i should have to her about my dislike of her guy when we are sober and alone.

in this weeks lesson i learned that you should know when you are wrong and be a big enough person to apologies .get to the bottom of the conflict and hear each side of the story and get a clear understanding of what the conflict is about and try to resolve the conflict amicably   because if ignored the conflict can escalate to a point where it cant be fixed .and i  also learned to stay out of other people’s business and keep my opinions to my self.

Communication Intelligence

The second, and finally long workshop day started with a group presentation on resolving conflict. The presentation went well, and it showed a great deal of preparation that went into it. Their simulations scenes, and facilitation tools resembled real life experiences, it was situations that l have personally experienced in some aspects of my life. We then did some exercises in pairs,about communication intelligence, we did an exercise on barriers of communication, where l learnt about being judgmental towards others when they are talking, l do not give them time to express themselves clearly as l keep interrupting and wanting to dominate a conversation. We did a left hand column exercise as well, where one encountered a difficult conversation, where we had to answer interrogating questions about our conduct in the whole conversation, like what was l trying to accomplish, what was the outcome as well as feelings and thoughts that were going through my mind during that conversation, and l did not say it loud. An exercise was also done which dealt with handling a point of view that is different to mine.The path of protection and the path of evolution were explored, l learnt that if one is on the path of protection, they get addicted to being right always, and they are always defensive as they tend to protect against pain and fears.O n the other side, the path of evolution is non-defensive, they are warm and assume personal responsibility. My group got to present after lunch , on building relationships. For a change, l was not nervous, we did speed dating kind of facilitation and in my own observation, it went fairly well, and l am relieved its behind us now. I will start focusing on my draft essay henceforth.

Week 6: Resolving conflict

 

The group facilitation this week was on resolving conflict. I think it was one of the best facilitation pieces so far. They raised the bar.  They did a dramatization of some of the conflict that took place in their group leading up to their facilitation piece. They illustrated how each group member used a different technique to resolve conflict. Some were controlling, some compromising and some completely avoiding but at the end of the day they learned that collaboration was the best method for them. We learned how some people withdraw from the person they having conflict with completely, in order to rediscover their identity after being hurt. They wore red capes to represent conflict and used terms such as “you people” to deliberately incite conflict in the audience and even placed the “e” in the word “resolving” back-to-front to cause conflict in those who noticed it…like me. My OCD just kicked in.

Following that, we did some exercises in class. We swopped books and wrote down the dialogue of a difficult conversation that our team mate had been part of. We then took back our books and wrote down things we thought of but never said in that conversation. This made me realise that you can get so caught up in anger, bias and making assumptions about the other person that you hardly hear what they're saying. You hear and see things through your own filter and this prevents you from taking the path of evolution/growth and instead puts you on a path of protection. Ross explained how sometimes we are triggered by our own qualities in other people. 

The other exercise involved each person telling a story of something that happened to them, and the other 3 people in the group looked out for: Content (Head), Feelings (Heart) and Motivation or intention (Hands). I found it easiest to spot the content and feelings in each story. It showed me that I need to work on recognizing people’s motives as well.

We talked at length about taking responsibility for our part in any conflict situation, including not taking action. What stood out for me is that no matter what the situation, we can only control our own responses to any conflict. We cannot control what others do or say to us. This lesson was deep and somewhat draining, or maybe I was just tired after a long and stressful week.

Communicating DIfferently

The Facilitation exercise was excellently delivered and it set a perfect tone for what was to follow in the lecture. The group highlighted the importance of resolving conflict amicably. This is important as parties involved in conflict need to walk away feeling better than worse. The four phases of communication are fundamental in avoiding and preventing conflict. It is important to bridge the communication divide between people to ensure that each person point of view is heard and respected without barriers. It is also important to listen and inquire to each other for purely gaining understanding the message instead of passing judgement or defending our position. By improving our communication skills, it will greatly lessen the hurt we inflict on each other and resolve conflict more effectively. We are different as people, from how think, as well as how view and experience the world. There is more to learn from each other if we appreciate different views.

Furthermore, this lecturer felt like a free visit to a psychotherapy session. The reflection and introspection went deeper than anticipated. I was left thinking of my life in terms of how I generally communicate and resolve conflict, both in personal relationships to the professional ones. One important take away, was, a genuine reflection of each person role in conflict is important. Especially how our actions or non-action affect and influence each situation. This is something I never really deeply thought about because at times emotions cloud the thinking process. However, the class and lessons learnt will make me approach communicating and conflict resolution differently from today.

As we continue learning…

Marking Draft Essay

What a day! so we were tasked to write a reflective essay previously and was told to submit 2 copies. little did i know that the other copy was going to be marked by my peers. Me marking someone else’s essay was a strange idea but at the end of it all i realized the purpose. This was also circulating ideas and getting insight of other people’s thoughts and learning ideas.

Also what i found confusing was how are you marked down on not referencing if it is a reflective essay???

Perception or Perspective

This Facilitation was really interesting to learn about. It touched a lot on the 5 senses which was really fascinating because this effects the way in which we see and interpret things.

In life we very often assume that what we see is what we get which is not aways the case. This module related a lot to a frame of reference. Not everyone has the same perception or perspective of things, we all assign different meanings to different experiences. I think this theme of “seeing through new eyes” definitely opened up my own.

As a perfectionist, as much as it is one of my strengths, it can also be one of my greatest weaknesses because I sort of expect other people to be organized and efficient as i am. This is not always the case, I had to accept that not everyone is the same. You have to see things from the perspective of other people because thats what acknowledgement is about.

There is something very interesting that i read two weeks ago and that is, What you believe can either overcome obstacles or create obstacles. This statement is very relative to the theme in subject. Our beliefs is what helps us interpret the world but it also affects the way in which we see things, our views, opinions, and basically how life works. Based on what we believe, it can either shape us or break us. We have to just be considerate and always think of others.

LEARNING FROM LIFE TOGETHER WITH PEERS REVIEWING DRAFT ESSAYS

Well, this workshop was a bit different. We started the morning as per tradition of participating in a group workshop, but we never had any follow up learning from the workbook.  The group that facilitated the workshop spoke about “Learning from Life”. Although the instructions were not clear and facilitators confusing us, I still learned a great deal about the lessons of life. The workshop was focused on family, social and education aspects. The “Broken Telephone” activity was very entertaining and enjoyable, at the same time, it brought out several important messages for effective communication, which in my view is also the key to effective knowledge sharing. Being a good listener along with making a conscious effort to hear what people are really saying helps open up knowledge flows and make knowledge sharing more effective.  Having listening skills is very important when it comes to life’s lessons. The was another activity where we were supposed to write a secret about yourself and put the paper in the bowl. Yhuuuuu, the stuff that was read out from all the papers from the bowl was really something that I was never ready for. It taught us that we as people walk around with secrets and find it difficult to share them because we fear being judged and that our secrets sometimes hold immense emotional value.

 

After all the fun and games, came the part that gave me sleepless nights for the whole week. The part of my essay being marked by fellow classmates. The thought of having someone at my level mark and criticise my work didn’t sit well with me. Oh well, I just had to bite the bullet and wait for feedback. At the same time, I also got the opportunity to mark others’ essays and I must say, some of the essays were too short and were not as reflective as I imagined. I read some pretty good essays where people really wrote from the heart and from what was written, I could tell that the authors really learned something from this class every week and that they took something from every workshop. One thing that the markers had in common regarding what I wrote is that my essay was well presented. There’s only one marker who was completely honest with their feedback. She said that I should avoid repeating the words “for example” when providing evidence of my personal view and that I must find alternative words to use instead. Also, I tend to use capital letters when unnecessary, therefore in my final essay, I am going to try to rectify those mistakes.

Reflective Writing – Draft Essay Review

The writing exercise was critical in my journey to establishing my style of writing. It gave me some vital insight into how I can identify the evolution of my ideas, engage in triple loop learning while demonstrating the originality of my thoughts and personal insight. This was very helpful when I began to review my draft essay, I’ve found that the more I write, the more concise my writing is becoming. As a result I am motivated to write more, my writing is my escape and a return ticket to moments that would otherwise be gone.

 At any given moment I have the option to step forward into growth or to step back into safety and with that I now start each day as Benjamin Franklin did in his daily journal, “What good shall I do today”?

Mbali

 

A new perspective

Another week but not just another facilitation class for me. In this class my friend was doing her facilitation presentation. I was feeling so proud because I knew that her group would be great.

We were placed into coloured groups and when they started we were pleasantly surprised by their ice breaker. Made me feel relaxed and entertained at the same time. Their topic was “Seeing with new eyes” and the way they facilitated this piece was eye opening (excuse the pun). They played with stereotypes and general perceptions that people have. The one that touched me the most, even though I was not personally involved in the group, was where a guy dressed as a muslim walked around and then went to get a bag. The comments made about him and his behaviour was interesting to me, mainly because I know I would have reacted the same way but also because social media and world events have embedded such negative propoganda in this society that we no longer trust ourselves, we reference others.

Overall this class taught me that we need to try and see things from a different perspective every time. Whether we have experienced the same thing before or not we should attempt to differentiate through looking at things from a new perspective. People are so glued to comfort and routine that they forget that life is about living and not simply existing.

A true lesson from life 💁🏾💁🏾💁🏾

 

Learning from Life

The big day arrived!  The day before I felt 😕 defeated! 😩 Exhausted! I realised that sometimes in life it is necessary to take a step back, let this unfold and just go with the flow.  This was when the group had to finalise our facilitation presentation.  Guess what? It turned out great! There were situations where we had to improvise what we had initially prepared, but wasn’t obvious.  I’m truly proud of you guys! I would not hesitate working with you in the  future! Y’all came through with a bang! Y’all showed people flames!🔥 🔥🔥🔥

Public, Private & Unconscious

It has been a while since my last blog. I found it difficult to expose my feelings again because of a stressful period I went through.
I remember sitting at a table typing my feelings away on the blog then suddenly, felt too exposed and deleted everything that I had written. It had started like this, “I write today with a very heavy heart, I couldn’t have imagined how painful physically it would feel to lose one of my own…..”.
It felt so therapeutic to let it all out, even though it was just to an electronic device, but I was sharing my inner most feelings. I got so lost in that moment that I had even forgotten where I was. Suddenly I had this realisation, it felt like all eyes were on me. I wasn’t sure if they were looking at the tears streaming down my face or if the grief I felt at that moment left me naked and exposed. I deleted everything.
Thursday, 31 August had begun a normal day at work. I went about the usual events of the day with ease. I had an inspiring meeting with a client which left me motivated and hopeful about the future when suddenly my phone rang, it was a phone call I had been dreading for a while now. I continued with the meeting as I didn’t want to be rude and interrupt the discussion. Another one came through and then another one. It dawned on me then that the time had come, the bell had rung. I sunk in the chair and had to excuse myself from the meeting to return at least one of those missed calls.
As I switched on the phone to make a call, a messaged popped up on the screen screaming loudly like a voice call, a screengrab with the words “MOM?”
I broke for my child who was a 1000 kilometres away from home to have learnt of her favourite cousin’s passing from a WhatsApp profile picture, with noone close to comfort her.
She had been sick for a while now but her fighting spirit had always given us hope that she will recover. She was gone. Everything came to a standstill. My plans for the weekend were out the window.
The reflective essay was due that coming Saturday, 2 September. I remembered Ross’s words when the previous weekend she had said “write your essay in class and know that you are done with it”. Procrastination had made an ugly appearance that week and I found myself having to cope with what I was faced with and the task of completing the essay. I had to finish it so I could make arrangements for someone to take it with for me on the day as I wasn’t going to make it to class anymore.
The lesson on human dynamics became fresh in my mind. What was happening in my private arena had to become public. Who do allow in this space? I wrestled with this decision for a while. We had met as a group for about 3 weeks already at this point. Our discussions had been centred around the plan for when we facilitate the topic, Building Relationships most times and the communication on who will not be in class on a particular day, which didn’t warrant me opening up about what I was going through at that moment. I owed them an explanation as to why I will not be there that Saturday so I had to let them in.
It was one of those difficult moments of becoming human. In some families you are raised to always be strong, you don’t share your feelings especially of weakness with the people not close to you. I was raised like that and as a result have missed out on the most supportive of people that I have come across. I am glad to have shared with my team members at that point because they became a source of strength. The messages I got were comforting with some offering to submit my essay for me.
My group members were not the only people I had let it in my private space then, I had developed a friendship over skopas (mielie snack) with another fellow classmate. I am glad to have met this person from whom I have learnt to rely for words of wisdom and encouragement. I have adopted her as my mentor as I walk this WitsPlus path since she has walked it longer.
I am thankful to everyone who has been with me on this trying journey.
What a coincidence that a topic for that week was ‘Learning from Life’. Feel like I missed out on very important lessons from that group

SEEING WITH NEW EYES

Image result for EYES

Group 6….. HAS ARRIVED !!!

Time to present what we have learned. Quite a journey…

THEME HOLDS: Same Book Different cover.

ICE-BREAKER – Done.  Darcel was marvelous in getting the class part in the activity, afterwords people seemed enthusiastic.

The Topic was well introduced and expectations were immediately laid out for our people that we will be facilitating. “I was the group LEADER” Jip! Purple lady, would you have believed it if someone else had said that, this is my personal substance and form that came together as part of my personal journey – However, I did not Form in the technique of putting myself out there to be noticed how ever I pitched and became group leader.

Enough said about me, Funny enough I came in this course with a heavy weighed word “Perception” Changing peoples perception… and it came through in our Group Presentation from point go.

We split the class in 3 groups differentiating them with 3 colours by dividing them in giving a person lollipop at the door when entering.

Pictures were displayed in the groups of the same person but in different characteristic outfits within the different groups – our facilitators participated in facilitating in probing to what the groups thought of the pictures – It was good because the goal was to get people to do what they would do in their most natural state – Judge. Mind you we also has to live characters that were part of our group – one dressed in Muslim attire and the other as a drag queen perhaps.

Interesting enough people gave quite stereotyped feedback , all groups were participating actively – Our team came to the front and hared their experience as well to what was said – The policeman – seemed like a crook, Muslim seemed like a terrorist even though he was black, and our drag queen – in FACT,  shared their life story that touched us as a team as well – it was his coming out day being homosexual! “We so Proud of you” at this very moment we could see how it challenged homophobic friends, the beautiful part is that this was a reality check and a personal reflection within a safe space – some shared their support and others admitted to work with their perceptions about life more.

I ended with good theory – Module 7 – The Power of perception.

I shared how our Frames of reference can be changed, and The Decision Spiral (Tool 22) is an amazing tool to see and filter through our beliefs and values and even accept difference. The Self Fulfilling Loop is that area where we need to start checking. And if there was one thing we wanted to leave the people with, is this that “how will I decide to see someone today”? … written at the back of a picture of eyes.

We did well..and only got Plus and no Delta. 🙂

 

The secret is out

Group 5 had us all in awe, they requested one secret no one else knew about each other and placed it in a container. The secret that got pulled out afterwards was read aloud in class and I must say most of us are getting fearless in this class. Some of the secrets that were read, was very personal and the people whom had shared in my opinion was very brave.

The broken telephone demonstrated how a person can hear one thing and change the message into something else to suit their understanding. Listening skills is one of the ‘biggies’ when learning from life and this was my aha moment.

When it came to marking the 4 different essays, I was wondering how am I going to tackle this? In the first place I did not know if I was on the right track with my own essay. Surprisingly it worked out very well, the marking gave me a chance to see where I need to make improvements and what to cut out. Getting the feedback from other markers on my essay will assist greatly in my final submission.

Thank you

SHORT AND SWEET …. the power of PERCEPTION

so i’m late!!! just arrived after the team facilitation. that’s not cool at all. this is the first team i missed and doesn’t feel right LOL i’m becoming attached to these group facilitation presentations and from what i hear from my fellow team mates this was thee best team by far.

anyway clearly we got competition. moving on! today we’re unpacking the POWER OF PERCEPTION! so today’s class was very short, straightforward and simple. it mostly how perception can lead to assumptions without facts. how the dangers of assuming what you see and hear maybe what you want to believe rather than checking the real facts. this raises awareness of how we have a tendency to make our decisions without full knowledge in split seconds. this way of thinking becomes a normality and way pf life and soon before we know it were are ruled by assumptions. as a mother of two this makes me wonder if i haven’t already instilled this way of thinking to my young ones.

yep thats it…schools out

 

Draft Essay Review Week 6

I am not comfortable knowing that another student will be marking my reflective essay. Like I said in the previous blog between my mind and the paper (and the lecture who is going to mark it of course)

I heard horrible stories from other classmates that got me thinking WHY!!

Why would you let another classmate put on his/her auditor cap to mark a fellow students essay? Is that student equipment with the knowledge needed to make a proper assessment?

Or are they on a power path?

what you see isn’t what you get

I have always assumed that what I see is the true reflection of the reality. I would see a man carrying a bible and think he is christian or saint. As stereotyped as I am, what I see it is what it is, no matter what others say, it doesn’t really matter. It is obvious, why would a heathen read a bible, why would a drunker-ed carry a bible.  In my world it doesn’t make any sense, my only belief is the truth.

I have my own perception towards other people even those I have never interacted with. Ask me who they are, I will tell you as if I have known them for years.  In this module I have learnt that I should not judge people based on what I see or based on my perception. I select what is i based on my interest, experience feelings or attitudes of which it could be totally opposite of what I see.

I have many times interpreted things the way I see them, and draw conclusion on what i observe.  I have been robbed several times by old people and the reason I became their victim it is because, I didn’t expect anyone above 45 to be involved in pick pocketing crime or robbing people on the streets. Guess what I was wrong

This module taught me not judge people based on how they look, their attire, possessions and language they speak. I have always thought that all Afrikaners are racists and hate black people. It’s been my perception until recently. What you see is not what you get. When Matome (not his real name) shared his story about his homosexuality I was shocked, I felt like my world was ending. I have been working with Matome on group 6, his behaviour was normal. It could be a matter of my stereotype, my perception was that gays behave in a certain manner and their dressing code is more feminine.

Matome’s story taught me not judge people based on how I see them.  I shouldn’t impose my character to  other people. His story was very sensitive, touching and educating at the same time.

Power of perception – Seeing with new eyes

I am a proud member of group 6, I had one of the most eye opening and heart warming experiences in my life. I am glad I got a chance to be part of such a vibrant group. I believe the message that was passed on to our fellow students is one that they will never forget.

The content of this specific module was very interesting which allowed for us to portray a clear cut version of the power of perceptions and the different ways in which people draw their conclusions. The content of this module basically explains what every individual does in life. We draw conclusions and judge people on things such as our emotions, culture, attitude, beliefs and expectations. Many people still want to go through life using a so called “hand-book”, this is not the case any longer, people now live life not with the intention of satisfying everyone else around them but more for their own happiness. Yet you still get others that judge and unfortunately we are all guilty of this. The key and the purpose of group sixes facilitation was to make ourselves and fellow students acknowledge that we should minimize judging and now try to look at things with new eyes, hence we emphasized the point of same book different cover.

The decision spiral is a helpful tool in defining a way in which individuals consciously and at most times unconsciously draw conclusions.

 

Same Book Different Covers

What an epic morning it was on  Saturday 09 September. It was finally time for Group six to shine! As a member of Group six, I arrived on campus at 6am to ensure that I collect the FNB annexture venue keys from the night security staff to ensure that my group has access to the class for our make-up and final set up session. Group six is a force to be reckoned with, when one member showed up with sandwiches for all, another member bought coffee for all and another had  organised muffins for the group. The morning set up session was electric with the teams laughing and bonding over the common fear and dread we were all secretly harboring.  By 8am we were all set and ready to rock and roll. As group six we unanimously agreed to allow as many people as possible to come into our presentation, closing the door only close to 9am. We were on fire, nerves firmly under control, time flew by and before we knew it we were thanking the audience and huddling together in celebration of what was accomplished.

The comment and feedback session was nerve wrecking, the positive comments were plenty and heartfelt. The audience loved our format and delivery, they loved the fact that we did not have too many activities, the process was logical and simple and we hit the spot in terms of challenging perceptions and pre-judgements. YES! we accomplished what we had set out to accomplish!

Delta plus comments were scarce! The outspoken Ntombi felt that there were no ”delta-plus” moments, in her opinion, the group six presentation was perfection.

Halala group six! Shine

Reflective Essay, easy right?

When I saw the requirements for the reflective essay, I thought to myself, how simple and easy is this.  Well, turns out that four years of studies and having to write very academically, makes a reflective essay very challenging.

But it was so much fun, being able to write about my own experiences felt so liberating and I just wanted more and more.  I was willing to write other’s reflective essay, hahaha just kidding, I would never do that.

Get to the class… oh my gosh, I forgot to print my essay. I am never unprepared.  Edison to the rescue with his printer and iPhone, what a hero!  Next, peer review of our essay… wait what????!!! First thing that comes to mind, is that the essay is not academic writing, this is not my best work.  I don’t want anyone to read this.

Turns out, it wasn’t too bad, I got some really good feedback and realised that other students were battling with the same issue of it not being academic writing.

Now that the draft essay is done… let’s do the finale one 😉

Telling a story

what an amazing session we had on how we share story in our community and how perception is key central on how we perceive others.

The Team that did presentation they have done justice and educate us that telling story can be in different form as follows

Pictures ,tale, written and non written . most of us are familiar with the art of telling story as one has to grab attention of the audience.

Telling story it can be something that is person or close to your heart and the ability to detach yourself when telling it so that the message can be loud and clear.

it is important to be sensitive when sharing topics that affects others ,tell story in the manner that is respectful others and their belief and cultures .

am amazed by the level of maturity in upholding our diverse cultures am inspired to explore more.

 

First Draft Essay Review

The requirement to assess a fellow student’s essay – was not easy for me.

I had to purposefully follow the essay assessment guidelines/criteria in order to ascertain whether the “introduction demonstrates an understanding of the scope and interpretation of the task” and many other criteria points.

The process was painful for me, as I recognise that I tend to be subjective in my assessment, and for this activity I needed to consciously adjust my approach to be more objective.

I also recognise the benefit that this exercise presents, by helping me to structure my approach when I am developing my reflective essay. By referencing the assessment requirements, these details will guide me on how to respond to the essay question, and to document the required information.

I appreciate the consistent feedback received from the two assessors who had reviewed my draft essay. Their feedback confirmed what I had not done, I need to incorporate more academic learning’s into the essay – my submission was 100% focussed only on personal reflection.

Thank you assessors, look out for my next submission which is earmarked for a distinction.

For the Facilitation module: Learning from Life, I can’t comment as I was part of the team who was locked outside the class. The barricaded window did not allow for much observation.  This experience of exclusion from experiencing the facilitation module has prompted me to realise that most classmates are not late because they do not want to be part of the presentation piece, however, certain external factors need to be considered, i.e.  construction on some of the highways, delays at the entrance points at Wits, etc.

Note to myself, for Team 8’s facilitation, encourage my team to consider starting at 8:45  to allow fellow classmates who are on the Campus, yet still trying to make their way to class a form of grace to enjoy part of our program . # Let’s leave the door open.

LIFE LESSONS – MODULE 6

Team 5 presentation was well presented and well engagement with the audience. What I noticed is that with Facilitation you must ask permission so that you don’t get negative results from people because they would know what to expect if permission is asked before hand. I felt that Team 5 forced everyone to participate as they didn’t ask permission from the audience to take part.

The teams instructions was not clear and that resulted in other peoples getting bored from doing the given tasks as one instructed was saying one thing and the other instructor was saying something different.

I also have a little concern regarding the negative Delta feedback from the class. As weeks goes by the negative Delta is getting more and more, Ross said we must bear in mind when we give the feedback ( what you say to one person must be the same way you would like one to give you the feedback)

With every days experience one get a chance to learn and grow regarding  the bad or good experience we go through , its very true when they say once failures is once success.

looking forward to the next class…

Draft Essay Due

It was quite daunting at first that I had to submit an essay with 1000 words and adding referencing. Reason being I did it late Friday night when my uninvited visitors decided to leave at 21:15. I was extremely annoyed they did not get any hints that I dropped about my essay that is due. I have learned to be more assertive and not to leave my essay for the night before it is due.(However that is when my creative juices flow when I am under pressure).

When I started writing it became easier with the research that I have incorporated, the theory in my work book as well as my experience inside and outside the classroom and lastly the blogs I wrote weekly aided me immensely. I was quite pleased with my piece and I have actually went over my required words. I managed to finish at 24:40, I was just too happy that I managed to complete my essay and that I could go to bed peacefully, needless to say I did not have any strength to read through my essay. Therefore, unsurprisingly my essay had a few spelling errors from the feedback that I received. Both markers gave me a good mark apart from the spelling errors. Furthermore Ros gave us a few more tips for our final submission. I think I am better equipped to write my final essay and I will definitely not write it late the night before. We are striving for that A’s.

Learnings!!!!

m12

It’s official week 6 and I have survived in the facilitation skills class!!!! My fear overcome and the reality is that after all said and done the experience has been fun thus far.

I Absolutely love the subject matter “Learning from Life” as presented by group 6 today. Congratulations to the team on a job well done, insightful and thought provoking.

Today’s topic truly resonate with me, I have always been of the believe that life in general is a daily journey filled with learning. Regardless of age, gender or creed, everyday experiences allow us to grow and learn whether it be good or bad experiences. And in saying so our failures indeed become our successes.

Facilitation today focussed on education, social & family the one exercise that screamed at me was SECRETS!! A bit daunting!! the one take away at the end of the lecture was “forget what hurt you and move on” and be bold, what happened, happened therefore have the courage to move on.

Review of reflective essays a bit of a circus but hey facilitation class was never going to be structured and or orderly therefore what does not kill you makes you stronger!!!

Looking forward to more fun filled facilitation sessions, bring it on!!GIGI…..