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Life lessons

Group 5 presented: Learning from Life, quite a broad topic.

However, What stood out the most for me is the Broken Telephone technique, they used to emphasize that we should not retell others stories as it gets distorted, disrespected and skewed into gossip.

The various ways that was demonstrated to how we might learn from life was interesting. My favourite, was the quote shared:

“Forget what hurt you in the past and remember what it has taught you.”

Furthermore, I liked the notes idea, however, I must confess I was a bit concerned at first, as secrets do have consequences and may still hurt others or families as our families or friends are not always in a safe and open space as we were today to explore and be open to accept Facilitation class.

Comparing secrets were great for the aim to discover that one is not alone in their secrets and we have more in common in life than we think, because we are all human.



To Master the Art of Balancing Advocacy through Mindful listening

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Who’s willing to listen? and who’s willing to understand?

Well at first 3 skills are needed or else no-one listens and no-one understands. That’s pretty how our lives are at the moment, EVERYONE WANTS TO BE HEARD AND UNDERSTOOD but no-one wants to be doing the actual listening and understanding.

I repeated myself quite several times now – to ensure that you are listening and understand. Why ?

Because Tool 26: The communication divide clearly describes how without advocacy, listening and inquiry skills, my story does not go through to your story and your story never reached its story in my head. 🙁

So… Balancing Advocacy and Inquiry helps oneself to go from unconscious incompetence ( not knowing what one is actually saying to the other person) to consciously competent ( listening skill gets you to be consciously competent) to what is being said and inquiring from the person a open question , not only shows interest but affirms that you are actually listening. Tool 28 – Advocacy Inquiry matrix helps in Explaining, Observing, Interviewing and mutual learning steps.

Thes skills shared above has helped in my marriage, speaking to kids, adults and being more engaged in what they say and in the moment with them, it was hard at first because I must deal with symptoms of ADHD / multi-tasking in my thoughts. Now I make it a point to make people major when talking to them even though it doesn’t mean anything to them, it means a difference in the making from mhy life to others.

Thank you For this Course Roslyn, you are very much appreciated.

Love Purple Lady.

A meaningful Conversation – Is Possibly the most QUIET oNe of them ALL.

Bouncing Emoticon BallsICE-BREAKER

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Group 10 – Started off with  Bounce – you had to throw the balls to people and call out your own name – Ah well, so I got to know two more people today, Tshapiso and Cindy.

4 Groups of colours were divided, it was well set up and the activity was about us as the group dressing our models (the facilitators) in either plastic or newspaper, however, one group could verbally communicate to one another while the other had to communicate non-verbally,  I must add that the non-verbal group in my experience worked out pretty well and our model was the best dressed… We concluded in our feedback as a group we believe it would have been chaotic if we spoke. Even the quietest person in the class took place in our non-verbal activity: she handed over to me her own ribbon shoelace she created – I looked up to her and took it and replaced mine with hers. There was the most meaningful Conversation I ever had with someone without words.


Thank you GROUP 10 for this experience.


Image result for EYES

Group 6….. HAS ARRIVED !!!

Time to present what we have learned. Quite a journey…

THEME HOLDS: Same Book Different cover.

ICE-BREAKER – Done.  Darcel was marvelous in getting the class part in the activity, afterwords people seemed enthusiastic.

The Topic was well introduced and expectations were immediately laid out for our people that we will be facilitating. “I was the group LEADER” Jip! Purple lady, would you have believed it if someone else had said that, this is my personal substance and form that came together as part of my personal journey – However, I did not Form in the technique of putting myself out there to be noticed how ever I pitched and became group leader.

Enough said about me, Funny enough I came in this course with a heavy weighed word “Perception” Changing peoples perception… and it came through in our Group Presentation from point go.

We split the class in 3 groups differentiating them with 3 colours by dividing them in giving a person lollipop at the door when entering.

Pictures were displayed in the groups of the same person but in different characteristic outfits within the different groups – our facilitators participated in facilitating in probing to what the groups thought of the pictures – It was good because the goal was to get people to do what they would do in their most natural state – Judge. Mind you we also has to live characters that were part of our group – one dressed in Muslim attire and the other as a drag queen perhaps.

Interesting enough people gave quite stereotyped feedback , all groups were participating actively – Our team came to the front and hared their experience as well to what was said – The policeman – seemed like a crook, Muslim seemed like a terrorist even though he was black, and our drag queen – in FACT,  shared their life story that touched us as a team as well – it was his coming out day being homosexual! “We so Proud of you” at this very moment we could see how it challenged homophobic friends, the beautiful part is that this was a reality check and a personal reflection within a safe space – some shared their support and others admitted to work with their perceptions about life more.

I ended with good theory – Module 7 – The Power of perception.

I shared how our Frames of reference can be changed, and The Decision Spiral (Tool 22) is an amazing tool to see and filter through our beliefs and values and even accept difference. The Self Fulfilling Loop is that area where we need to start checking. And if there was one thing we wanted to leave the people with, is this that “how will I decide to see someone today”? … written at the back of a picture of eyes.

We did well..and only got Plus and no Delta. 🙂


r~fl~tive Rrr-Ting

[don’t mind the spelling, it’s reflecting it’s writing]

While we wait for our topic to reflect back on the experience gained with knowledge received – Let’s reflect on what I have learned last week and today’s Group 3’s presentation.

  • Aha moment – was mostly the tools learnt within the workbook.
  • Group 3’s presentation used religion to portray honouring difference last week.

Today, Group 4 presented with a Bang : THE BIGGER PICTURE under story telling topic. Lights, camera action was for sure portrayed and quite to the point. Auduence was captured and we could reflect on what was shared. My expectations werent met, however, changed. A framework for learning was created. I really enjoyed the group activity of how Group 4 on how they reflected on the previous weeks group based on the Johari Window. We were engaged and enjoyed it. I would of liked more story telling though my DELTA.

Reflective Writing – [oh, welcome back in the proper spelling. Here we dont judge – it’s a blog go free].

Automatic writing looked like this:

This is where my slang of pessimistic talk in the most sarcastic way came into play through writing. (I will share a link at the end of my blog to what I actually wrote during the writing exercises).

Writing to Friend – looked like this:

So pretty – I thought. How my writing became honest in a more respective manner. An overview of the course was given and what is expected of me – is to write a reflective essay. Moreso, I explained the tools learnt. I did emphasise my ICE-BREAKER- Check in and Check out attitude only because I am so fascinated that something so over-rated always work. I found myself speaking about my goals based on perceptions of people towards me and my own towards them in class.

Writing to Self – looked like this:

“Ok, so this is getting BORING!”. Oops! another to honest comment from pessimistic self or should I rather express my honesty here? reflective writing is not so enjoyable because I am not used to it, however, expressing my experiences is more enjoyable. We all know why? The extrovert has now spoken while deligentlyfollowing instruction in being an introvert for the purpose of this course.

I carried on writing with the motivation of Group 4’s Bigger Picture concept. Then I found myself in a deeper form of thought to why the class was difficult. I expressed it as pockets of stimulation not as a bad thing but good thing. This shifted another way of participation – I got to see our introverts come out and this warmed my heart – That was one example of a pocket of stimulation. Just as side note – 3 years in academic and your mind waits for that heavy academic dumbell to hit your stimulation juices – now all of a sudden lets change the flavour of the juice. BANG!

Writing to a lecturer – Looks like this:

Ag this is so neat and in order – Just what the leacturer would want. My tone of voice changed and even my handwriting became more upright and respectful. I must admit this was the hardest to write and only got 6 lines in writing. I used words like ‘enhancing experience’ , ‘academic tools’ and ‘workplace effectiveness’.

The bottom line is that the Facilitation course is academic and as much as it is reflective, the writing guidlines are essential to get a 80%  – Which is my goal.

Closing off – I wish everyone best of luck with their reflective draft essays due for next week.

Attached is the link to read my reflective writing to different persons:

Refective exercises


HONOURING DIVERSITY ~ 9865×8= we are calculated & different.

Last week we learned that change is the  most constant thing in our lives:

The learning spiral, I have applied since I started this course. This was one of the reasons why I did not want to speak about myself. To change perceptions about the purple headed lady – me. I have a lot of fun with this at work as I connect with people on a personal level face-to-face in their offices and enjoy sharing random intellectual topics or even advice to Legal Advisors that have specialized skills andI am only a legal secretary. The learning spiral has made my colleagues listen to me and most of all accept me for who I am. This is an accomplishment that not many companies and colleagues can succeed in. Another interesting factor that Group 3 presented on is accepting and honouring difference. The Three-Dimensional Thinking tool is another personal favourite because not only do you dig deeper into your thoughts an why you think the way you do but now we ask questions about why and how certain systems came to be? , due to what perception? can it be changed? and what behaviour or thinking should take place to do so?Today, Human Dynamics – we paired up and spoke about the case study.  Tool 16 known as the Stakeholder Map was again an absolute favourite. Why? because it is here where one embraces different perspectives based on peoples standing point of view. [ And it is ok to have a different point of view].

This links to a further discovery of the Three Domains of Disclosure that holds the public, private and unconscious factor.

Public – What is known of the self by the self and others. It can be visible, felt, actions or be exchanging of words.

Private – What is known to only the self. A part that the self may use to manipulate others because they can’t see or are aware of that part about you.  This involves our beliefs, experiences etc.

Unconcious – What is unknown to self and others. Experiences or feeling unaware of.

Even though I discussed these interesting learning tools and how I have used them already. One tool I am planning to use at the end of our Group presentation is The Johari Window at the Blind Spot” where self is unknown to self but others know of. My plan is to ask my group questions about my blind spot. I think this is a safe opportunity to be critiqued by a group that I trust and can self-develop within my workplace in the future.

To conclude with tool 21 – which seems to constantly challenge me to how one deals with senior managers opposition: The resistance Barometer. However, I have successfully remained calm. I have a broader perspective on people and the workplace and how they interact with their positions and characters within their environment. It remains fascinating because some managers may be highly skilled but may not have this precious insight – The Tool facilitations course has given me thus far.

Next week – Let’s do Some writing skills!

ushintsho feels like an ->

on one’s system.

In time for class and doing last weeks homework. Interesting.

Group 2 presented on the definition of being uncomfortable – Jip! “Change” – “ushintsho”.

It is attacking in all dimensions of learning about learning.

Reflection exercise – done on learning about learning: Today’s topic. However, the weeks before we have learned tools that are used to build a container such as to Check in and Check out; identify a strong framework for facilitation; understand how people learn and communicate.

Our class activity today used the Reflection exercise regarding the right or left brain, internal and detailed person etc. However, I always shift between brain dominance patterns, information sorting preferences, motivational styles and sensory preferences, but I should really work on my learning styles: Eish!!!! Theorist is on a score 1. The brain activity revealed that we all spontaneously move across from left to right and visa versa, from internal to external and in whichever way we need to sort and absorb information. As humans we are dynamic and we constantly find ourselves in different environments that prompt us to use our brains in different ways. So Lefties and Righties – Stop fighting!!!! you use and need each other and many times you are married to one another – interesting?! Opposites do attract.


Information sorting preferences –

I learn better through visual and this impacts on my communication and interactive style.

A shout out to Group 2 – Topic on Change – well prepared, Ice Breaker, content and reflective exercises was really done well. As for Plus Delta – my personal view is there were more plusses than minuses.

Purple head lady – Most enjoyed Module 3, and she is looking forward to next week.

“Through your own filters”

Sidenote – Backtrack on last week:

  • 1st Blog done.( A great feeling).
  • Our group is on track!


One can only speak to someone through your own filters, according to Roslyn.

…A capturing moment in class.

Filters create different feedback as it exposes more to what you as a person see or heard based on your own life experiences. Therefore, the PLUS DELTA feedback technique has helped me accept critique in a more meaningful way than taking it in a  personal way and this is a form of Mindful Facilitation – the topic of the day.

What is Facilitation?

“Facilitation is a means of enabling people and teams to perform at the highest level possible”. It involves discussion, self-training, teaching through participation and engaging with the people in the group.

I sat with a brand new group today and met the most interesting group of people. Discovering the definition of Facilitation and the essence of new human connection has been quite interesting.

Shifting to theory in our books…. the most interesting part of today that really got me reflecting was on who I am and what I can and should do in my current work situation – this allowed me to dissect and evaluate whether I am stuck in the current or patient or passive… perhaps the fear of the unknown: Tool 9 – Managing substance and form.

This tool tells you as a person where you are at and can help you answer why certain things in your life are not progressing in your workplace. Substance is the qualities, skills, experience, knowledge, and passion one has versus the Form which is the outer shell or the presenting of oneself, looks, sound and feel created.

In this class, I had to learn the hard truth that if I had high substance and low form, that it is, in fact, my own fault. However, still, in confusion to how it is my own fault – this is the part I am self-discovering this week to why it is my own fault. Nevertheless, I am more motivated after this class to increase Form in order to self-actualize into my goals.

Another interesting Facilitating tool is Riding the Tiger by Owen Harrison – his 4 principles and 1 Law brings a new perspective in facilitating and eliminates anxiety as a facilitator. With these tools, I am confident that Facilitation in the future may only be productive and one of the principles our Group 6 will keep in mind for our anxiety purposes.

4 Principles

  1. Whoever comes are the right people
  2. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have
  3. Whenever it starts is the right time
  4. Whenever it’s over, its over

1 Law

The law of 2 feet (If you are not getting value from this facilitation go to another one that you feel will).

We need to care enough about ourselves to give us the best learning experience, let not yourself rob you of yourself. Peace-out!!

Wh0 Care$?!

Breaking the ice !

Boring!!!! (Attitude intended)

Who cares why you here? Who cares about your personal growth? In fact, who cares about what your name is and getting to know one another, you’re gonna forget my name anyway.

So let’s be real. I am here for credits and I am ensuring that I don’t speak about myself is  one of the plans to my madness that will be shared at a later stage.

So who cares that we are here? YOU. Jip, you are. I have read some blogs and realized that this might be one of the most valuable credits for my degree that I will encounter. This makes the every ‘you’ out there in our facilitation class care about their reflections on the new things we learned.

“We reflect on our reflections” caught my attention as the words rolled off from Rosyln’s lips – our Facilitator. What a statement! Immediately I cared. The unstructured class even challenged the purple head artsy lady, nevertheless, let’s check in.

Already a journey from who cares? to I do! (attitude changed). After we were put in groups and we got to know each other, Group 6 seemed promising to journey with. Already sitting as a group like cats watching the fish – the fish bowl technique. Being the observer was difficult in class. This is known as the Balcony technique.However, applying it at work brings a broader perspective on the subjects or aim as a whole to what it is we actually want to do as a team rather than everyone discussing everything at the same time and having no common goal. The Balcony technique gives an insight of direction and reveals the gaps to be covered.

A more interesting learning point was finding out the aims of one’s topic – “the intangible part” where your audience should walk away with in terms of their experience received – When people walk away from class what will they have?

So as for now, I care enough to focus on the aim to engage as a facilitator with my audience, when we as a group do our presentation and more so leave them with food for thought.

#My ice has broken… let’s check in Next week!