Week 5 17 August 2019
Group allocation Life 1: A group of 6 wonderful ladies including our facilitator (Rosyln)
We share the same challenges as people, we go through life and experience near death situations or circumstances; even as simple as failing a quiz or exam. The one lady shared how she had 4 surgeries of brain tumor in 1 year. All these will humble you and you will look at life differently. I came across a near death situation and yet I still stand. I should stop being a victim and the longest time I would ask a question why me instead of saying or referring to what happened to me is….. Thoughts of being a victim overwhelmed my life, instead of finding healing I would recall the incident over and over in my mind and blaming others. I remember feeling that the police were not doing their job in finding the suspects and would drive around looking for the two men who victimized me. It took me nowhere instead I was unhappy, withdrawn and it affected my work, and it put a danger in the well-being of my unborn baby. What a mother would I be to my unborn CHILD? My mother played a very supportive role I had to choose to live happily again or miss out on life. I choose life.
Roslyn an expect in facilitation shared tips on how we as people tend to choose the dance floor and not the balcony in all situation or problems we face. How we sometimes give advice to others and tend to use words like, “We think your relationship is not working out”; We dis-empowers people but if you use “I think your relationship is not working”; I is genuine. I need to start being honest and use words like I instead of people are saying this about you. We think you should….. Taking people’s problems to the dance floor is not an ordeal solution. I need to use the balcony approach and not to get to involved advise then step back. Know when advise is needed to not be part of the problem.
Letting go of non-beneficial situations. Learning how to use your two feet and walk away. The funny aspect is that the lecture was not planned according to Roslyn, she changed the presentation because something stated in her. Whatever happened had to happen. I remember someone crying at the end of the class. We are hurt, and we often need a reminder that it’s okay to cry its part of the healing process. Before the break we all got into our groups (Facilitation decision) and a task was given which was 2 questions. How I see my peers through my eyes? What will make you even greater. The feedback I got from my group mates was sincere, genuine and honest confirming what I already know or doubted. Never underestimate the power you carry around, people take notice.
What I learned from the class is:
- Advise then stay at the balcony, walk away, stop being too attach. Staying just in balance or the middle of all situation. Do not be part of the problem. Take myself out of the situation/ problem and view it from the outside (balcony): new eyes. Stop carrying other people’s problem or burdens. Do not be quick to judge others. Listen more. We all have a story to tell but how we handle them determines the ending.
This class happened at the right time and place. Sad for our peers who did not attend. This was informative and very self-reflecting.
Thank you to our Facilitation mentors, Roslyn and Chiks