Making Good Decisions

The past week was my group presentation aptly named Team NLS ie. Nosisi, Lesego and myself.

Our 45 minute facilitation included discussion around good decision making, an exercise using the Decision Making Wheel and the integration of what we had learnt over the past few weeks.

We valued both the positive and negative feedback. This allows us to evaluate in terms of becoming a better facilitator going forward.

Making good decisions_aka being kind to me

Wow! I cannot believe i am writing my final blog post. Not only is this my final post, my team presented today.

I have to say that i was nervous to work in a group after going through all the learning about myself, but excited to test out my new learning… more specifically to try and take the back seat and resist the urge to take the lead. In fact, one of my group members, even advised that i don’t speak first, as everybody would be expecting to… and i honestly went in feeling like i’ll try not to speak much at all, but God would not allow me to flourish… no, that was wrong, but essentially, in a huge nutshell, i could not keep my mouth closed and i apparently spoke to much… like 80% Nosisi talking and 20% opportunity for class to speak 🙁 🙁 🙁 … i wish this website had emojis, they would be all over this page right now.

On a serious note, my internal process was that i was that felt that i was trying to ensure that the instructions were clear, and we also came a point where we almost missed the reflective part of the of the group exercise… and that was me just trying to swoop in and save the day, which, in retrospect is always the problem. My inability to trust my fellow compatriots, and me believing that my structure is the best structure… in the end, this was my down fall and i realized i still have a long way to go with my learning.

The process of unlearning… ok wait, so clearly this blog post is not about the topic at hand, but i think i’m allowed to write a reflective post on my experience as a member of the presenting team.

Ok, so, the process of unlearning, it is not easy to unlearn decades of societal and self conditioning, to tell ourselves new stories about ourselves, and to actually become what we set out to be, and i wonder if this really ever happens or if it is a life long journey of unlearning and learning and that all one can do is be kind to themselves during the process. I know this class has brought me closer to becoming the person i want to be soooo… i’m good for now.

Failing forward_Ode to Telfer

This class had all the makings of becoming a disaster, from the class room opening late, and the presenting team becoming very frustrated… which i fully understand, i mean you are already feeling anxious on your presenting day soooo… anyway, the class room door was opened late and Ros was not around, AHHHHH!!! i mean really, WTF.

Ros not being around threw everyone off a lot because it went against what we had become accustomed to. As a result of her absence, we had the pleasure of Telfer as a facilitator for the day. Though in the beginning we were uneasy, and didn’t really trust in his abilities to facilitate because we had never experienced him facilitating before, and for me specifically, i kind of felt he was going to get swallowed by the class as most of us have very strong personalities and he generally comes across as timid and quiet.

To our surprise, he murdered the day and had us all swallowing our thoughts and biases.

The day really illustrated how unconscious bias really works, as almost everyone in class had their own reservations as to why they thought that he wouldn’t be able to handle the job, but if you think about it, that opinion is not based on any facts, in fact, because we know him to be the official assistant facilitator, this should have really reinforced his ability and authority in the room, but surprisingly, it didn’t.

To be honest, i kind of felt that what happened with Telfer was a real indication of a broader phenomenon that happens among people of color, specifically South Africans, where we find it difficult to trust one another in positions of authority and a black person not only has to work extremely hard to convince white people that they are qualified and more than capable to do a job, but they also face resistance from their own people, which has always been a strange thing for me, but i think i may have found myself in that same position during this class, except this time, i was the judge.

Anyway, i think it was great that he came with his own unique style for facilitation that works really well with his character, and that throughout all the noise, he never lost his cool or showed any discomfort. Its kind of like he knew what we were going through and that we would eventually work through the resistance and come to a new place of understanding, which is exactly what happened.

If you think about it, Telfer failed forward… the day had the makings becoming a huge failure, and almost everyone in our class, if faced with a similar situation, would have probably ended the class early and called it a day… which was called for mind you… but not Telfer, he ignored it all and silently, gently held our hands through it all.. with love…

Big Ups Telfer!!!

Freeing the mind.

I am so grateful to have come across this topic in the manner which I have. All this time I actually thought I new what it meant to free my mind and how to do it. But this particular class taught me that I didn’t have all the details. There are so many ways to free the mind and so many reasons we do it, and need to do it. For one we need to let go of certain things before we can engage in others, that requires a clear mind, we need to be fit for such requirements. At times we need it to be in control of our bodies, to be in control of our emotions and to be in control of our minds, but to do this we need to be free. There are so many ways to do it, exercise being a very common one but many being very effective is what we it, what we consume emotionally, what we pay attention etc. people don’t know this because they think their minds control them, but they actually have control over their minds. I personally like to work out, it relaxes me and helps me forget about all my other issues and clears my mind, I am able to release tension and when I feel this way my mind feels ready to go again, think afresh, I am ready to tackle challenges that I was finding difficulty with. Freeing the mind is extremely beneficial to everyone, we live in a busy, fast paced society that stresses us out a lot, we need to free ourselves from this to excel in other areas of our lives. I’m considering yoga, many of my friends have tried it and highly recommend it, it’s apperantly soothing, relaxing and a great way to escape the stress of the day.

Failing forward.

I am not 100% sure, but I think I have heard this before, “failing forward”. Whether either way, I am still learning to do this, I mean it is extremely difficult to fail at something, especially something you have invested a lot of time in, and still be expected to move forward with a positive mind set, but that’s the only way we will achieve goals. Imagine if everyone had just stopped trying at the first attempt if they got it wrong, we probably wouldn’t have light bulbs or flushing toilets, we wouldn’t have running taps or electric stoves. To me failing forward means to keep going, keep moving, it’s not easy to ignore the challenges and the obstacles before you, but failing is harder if you don’t move forward. Yes some things are not worth retrying but dwelling on it as a failure will deprive you from moving forward with everything else you want to do, the fear of failing, the anxiety will hold you hostage and you will be a prisoner to your own failures. I wish people understood how important it was to fail sometimes. It’s not a train smash to not get things right, sometimes we need to get them ring so we can grow, and others can learn from our experiences. If failing means one is not good enough then trust me we live in a world of face characters, because we have all failed once or twice, and yet here we, but that’s cause we moved forward after failing. I would like to actually have a session with one of my ladies on this topic, just to help them understand that it’s okay to actually fail , what is not okay is to fail and remain a failure or take a step backwards.

Making good decisions

Making a decision is influenced by so many things, but only two forces, external and internal. Whether or not you make a good decision relies totally on which force you depend on the most to make your decisions. Decision making can sometimes be a process that takes a lot from a person, it can be emotional, it can be time and sometimes energy consuming. Personally whenever I have to make a decision, my wellbeing comes first, I don’t really want to make a decision that I will regret later on even if it’s for the well being of another, this simply means there is another option, so I guess I lean more on myself than people to make the correct choice. I have been fortunate to actually have attended as many workshops as I have, most of them now that I think about it have a lot to do with decision making, and good decision making to be specific, one thing I have learned from all of them is to not be afraid to take time to make a decision, one would argue that sometimes you are under pressure and have to decide, but that little time you have, is actually all you needed to make that decision. I find it quite interesting that sometimes we actually have to go out of character to make good decisions, this makes me wonder, are we then always out of character, I do however believe this is a topic for another day. My decision making process is quite simple, I listen, I analyze and I decide, I am not interested in the different versions, I am more interested in the truth, and until I get it I will not make a decision, whether I am making it for myself or someone else I still have to make it, but that’s the process I will follow.

Week 9 Integration/Making good decisions

I’m struggling to write this block because it is associated with the passing of my grandmother who was buried the same day this class was being held. At that very moment I had taken a last look at my beautiful grandmother in her coffin. Tears filled my eyes, it all felt so surreal.

I just couldn’t believe she was gone and I would never be able to see her again. While at the church reading her eulogy and at the grave yard the class still continues. I suppose my situation linked in quite well with making good decisions.

That day I was faced with a very difficult decision, to bid farewell to my grand mother or go to class, a class which I treasured and didn’t want to miss. That’s how life is. You can’t split yourself in two and be at all places. The decision you make needs to be one that you will never live to regret and not bidding farewell would have been that decision that I just couldn’t live with.

May her beautiful Soul rest in eternal peace 💔😥

Freeing The Mind

I have always wanted more from my life. All i want is to achieve the goals i set out for myself and be the best version of myself i can be.

In the past, i have bench marked my success against that of my family. You see i am what you would call a late bloomer. Instead of going to university straight after high school, i chose to explore my musical gifts and join a band. I felt like school was not for me and i didn’t even know what i wanted to study. My family insisted that i go to university, and as a result, i left home unceremoniously and went to live on a friends couch. At the time, i felt justified because these were people that had never understood me after all. They hated everything about me, and my mother was on her dying bed, i was an abused child who never really got over her trauma, and and and and so much much more that i probably should not share but you get the point.

These stories i told my self, my life experience and my thoughts around these experiences have held me hostage my whole life, they have blocked me from achieving my goals and have not allowed me to become the best version of myself.

Meditation has always been a concept to me… i have tried it, and yoga, and Buddhism, and Krishna consciousness etc, but the thoughts that i carry, the story of my life still holds a firm stifling grip on my present reality.

This class is allowing me to see this, to see all my biases, all my judgments, towards others and myself. And i guess as the saying goes… well, i’m not really sure how it goes exactly, but its something like the only way you can heal is if you acknowledge you have a problem.

Week 8 Communication Intelligence

This was the first lesson I missed in Facilitation, I was in Hong Kong traveling for work. I vividly remember that it was in the afternoon in Hong Kong and 08:32 in South Africa and the class was commencing. A deep sigh of sadness swept over me, this was not the class I ever wanted to miss. With the help of Matthews I wasn’t able to catch the first part of class with the aid of a video call. That was interesting because it demonstrated that technology has developed in such a way that people are able to bridge a gap while on opposite parts of the work and all participate in the same activity.

Though I felt like the video call was a bit of an inconvenience to the participants in class, a distraction of some sort and I didn’t not want to be the reason people lost focus.

The dance of advocacy and inquiry is an interesting one, I suppose it is natural for most humans to be on the advocacy like as a defense mechanism. So often than not work life is so cut throat, survival of the fittest if I could and most people re simply trying to survive. Though if we could step back and attend to practice productive inquiry we could all learn so much from each other’s questions. A balance is needed rather than weighing heavily on one side of each.

Seeing with new eyes

I tend to get caught in my own view of the world. How the events of my past and dreams for the future have shaped and molded my principles, beliefs conviction etc. I have, until this class, found it very difficult to see the world from any other perspective than my own. In fact, not only has it been difficult, i have never really felt the need to because i have always believed so strongly on my way of seeing the world and my way of doing things.

Because of my stubborn nature i have always tried to also remain very objective about my views and have them be as accommodating to a wide range of people. I have always felt that i am fair, and that really, if the whole world thought the way i did, it would probably be a much better place, more efficient and kinder, that’s for sure.

I have never had to interrogate this view until now. I have never had to look at myself and evaluate the way i see things and why i see them in the way i do, and most importantly, consider that there are many corrects in this world… yes, i used the world correct in the wrong way, but this is on purpose… moving right along.

This class has given me the opportunity to see the rights of others. To see our differences in opinions no matter how ridiculous, as precious. Everyone has a reason for doing things the way they do and for seeing things the way they see them, and i feel that now, because i know better, that it is my responsibility to see them, to see their why before casting some sort of opinion.

Because i know better, it is easier to try and see from another perspective, and remove myself from the issue at hand, because i now know that my brain is not a reliable source of information, and more than anything, i need to always interrogate my views and beliefs.

Week 7 Clear Thinking

Meditation, connecting with self, self awareness and being in touch with your inner thoughts and feelings, this for me was what I took out of this week as facilitation. I particularly loved how Lesego and ousNoma conducted the lesson. They for me made it simple and decluttered which was perfect. It emphasized the art of thinking clearly and freeing your mind.

Meditation is a new love I have recently fallen in love with. With how busy my life is I desperately needed an escape and when while scrolling through my phone I came across a pop up ad for a guided meditation app.

That app has been the answer to my prayers. Now with one click of a button on my phone I am able to be removing myself from the stresses of life and just connect with myself.

Definitely a new way of life.

Week 6 Seeing with New eyes

It’s it amazing that we can all look at the sameness thing and yet have different perspectives of that very sameness thing. That was exactly the lessons in the facilitation class by Lindi and Latoya, two beautiful souls who I grow to love to quickly.

MOre often than not we put our own perspective and opinions above those of others without even thinking about it because hey, we know it all know and the experiences we’ve had with life are just the epitome of a what people can go through. Little do we know that we are doing nothing but sabotaging ourselves because there is so much we can learn from other people and their experiences.

Seeing with new eyes simply means trying to understand how people view certain things and seeing what lessons can be learned from that. This may not seem like a big deal though one would be surprised that by why people do why they do.

We are all unique and it is the ability to embrace people and what they bring that may grows is in life or impart undeniable knowledge that we would not have learned if it wasn’t for those engagements and learning to look through their window or at least trying to understand.

The events of that morning were

MAKING GOOD DECISIONS

TOPIC : MAKING GOOD DECISIONS On daily basis, at all times , one has to make decisions. My understanding is that one has to be able to be both reflective and prospective in the decisions one makes in all the daily activities. This is a transversal issue as it affects all areas of life, from family to work issues. It also means that one has to be conscious of the fact that once one makes a decision one need to know that such deicions will always have consequences, therefor making good decisions would mean such decisions must be progressive and be growth-oriented. This menas a decion would be good if it has been properly weighed and evaluated. A good decision must be able to anticipate the end-product of such a decision. Good decisions are also informed by the goals one wishes to get. All the relevant options must be looked into so that decisions made must not be subjectively-arrived at. A good decision must be analytically arrived at and the decision maker must be able to be commited towards ensuring that such dreams are realised. I have been able to engage in the a reflective self-introspection in order to grow in my decision making process, as I have realised that decision making is a process matter, not just an impromptu issue. I have also been able to share the information gained with my child so that she must grow in decision making skill. I am also engaging in the process of having a small group of learners that I will teach on decision making, and this will require me to do more research on decision making and have powerpoint presentation I have learned that decisions I make must not be in a vaccum. But I am also learning that many people did not know that decisions should be on the basis of information gathered. I have also learnt that poor decision making could have lifetime negative results, which can not be reversed. It is also not advisable to arrive at decsions at the heat of the moment because such decisions may be irrational. Decisions can make or break one’s future and relationships as well.

Communication Intelligence

In this session we were required to be in three groups and each group was expected to build a specific part of a bridge using LEGO. I absolutely enjoyed this session because when the activity was presented to us we were a bit uncertain of what was expected of us. Initially I wasn’t certain that our three different parts will make up one perfect bridge. In our team we had good characters that made sure that the task is completed successfully. Matthews took a leadership role and he displayed strong problem-solving abilities. He took calculated risks that benefitted the group. I took a supportive role and got my lead from him. Amisha was our accountant that made sure we don’t spend money on unnecessary items 🙂 Lesego, Telfer and I remained supportive to the place and made sure the tools were carefully structured.

The second part of our session was about communication intelligence. I discovered that I’m a challenger and I’m on the advocacy line. I am also able to be an observer when I am required to be. The positions I take up throughout my everyday determine if I’m on the enquiry or advocacy line. I want to be more of a supporter, especially when I’m in a professional space.

Facilitating Decisions

Lesego, Nosisi, and Suri gave a beautiful presentation about facilitating decisions. They were very professional in their presentation and their provided us with an outstanding conclusion of all the presentations we had during our course.

I thoroughly enjoyed this session and I learned so much about myself. We learned about the importance of listening. More than anything I discovered what listening really is. Listening means you clear your mind and take in the information spoken to you; process the information without drawing your own conclusion; as well as reflecting on that information and retelling it to verify that you received and understood the content that was provided to you. We were grouped in pairs and I got to listen to a beautiful story that my partner shared with me. He was passionate about the story and he trusted me enough to share it with me. I also got to share my story and I was touched by how he listened to me attentively. It felt good to be heard and it felt good to talk to someone that created a safe space for me.

We then proceeded to have a group dialogue. I learned a lot from that session. I observed the flow of the dialogue and saw the shape and form it took.

Freeing the mind

We observed an informative session from Nomalanga and Lesego about freeing the mind. They demonstrated different strategies that we could apply to reach the ultimate state of psychological relaxation and calmness. They highlighted the importance of exercise and meditation. I enjoyed engaging in the activities because I could draw my own conclusions about the importance of meditation.

The second part of our class session was conducted by Telfer. He focused on the importance of communication intelligence. We focused on conversations and the roles we assume when engaging in conversations with others. There are different components to listening: listening with your mind or your brain. During this process you also synthesize the information and draw certain conclusions.

I found this session very effective and I observed how it evoked emotions within different groups. I challenged myself to not always listen with my heart but with my mind as well.

Week 8 Seeing with new eyes

The highlight of this session was learning about the Reticular Activating System (RAS). This acts as the gatekeeper of information between most sensory systems and the conscious mind. It also assists with filtering out unnecessary information so that the important information goes through. The exercise that we engaged in provided a practical and visual platform for me to understand the purpose and function of the RAS. What fascinated me the most was the fact that my brain took in information that was relevant to the questions asked and it filtered out everything that I didn’t need to know at the time. I came to the conclusion that if I want to focus on achieving a specific goal and plan I must provide myself with questions that will make me focus on the end goal. In that sense, the RAS will protect me from unnecessary and negative information that might compromise my goal.

INTRODUCTION CLASS

My first day in the facilitation skills class, I did not know what to expect and what will be the outcomes of the whole course. Nonetheless I was looking forward to it and expected a great deal. The first class was an introduction and we introduced ourselves to the class and told our personal stories, which was a very difficult thing to do.

The class was so intense even though I had met a few of my classmates before from the English class. It had not been on a deeper personal level and this class broke the chains and everyone just spoke from the heart. I knew immediately that this was a class not to be missed. I knew that it was going to be challenging.

I am looking forward to this class and to learn about facilitation.

Story telling

The stories we tell ourselves determine our realities and how and how we choose to interact with life.

Everyone has their own story, and this story, whether conscious or not, determines our view on life…

My story, the story of my back ground, my family, my father the monster, exile, being a displaced child, etc. is a story that i have always felt defines me and gives Me insight into who i am. I lack the ability to build deep bonds with people, i have trust issues, though i am outspoken and very opinionated, i am very insecure, insecure of those around me, insecure about acceptance from society. I have never really had a stable relationship, i have always wanted to be a mother because my mother was not the mother i wished for growing up.

Though the story i tell myself may seem bleak, and yes, re reading it, i see that i define my existence by the bad things that have happened in my life. I am not the only one. During our first class, we were all asked to tell our story, and low and behold, almost every one in the class defaulted to those parts of their lives that have left the biggest scar.

It got me thinking about humans and how easy it is for us to be our biggest judge, our biggest sympathizer. How hard it is to default to a place of positivity and happiness. What kinds of people would be be if we completely erased those bad experiences in our lives and we only remembered the positive. If we based our story on only the positive things that happened in our lives… I think society would be very different… or would it?

Again, looking back at that first class, if everyone just shared the positive, the trust levels and subsequent bonds we share may not have developed as quickly as they did, we may, till today be caught in a conversational loop of politeness and never really getting the benefits of this class. We all lay ourselves bare. – see me as i am, i am here to grow and become more than i am – this was the general take home.

So i wonder, as a facilitator, or a person who works with teams, is it necessary for us to lay ourselves bare in some way in order to build trust? Do we need to be in a place of discomfort to become comfortable?

Listening with intent

Lately I’m feeling like school is done so I dont get as worked up about class as before but u still dont want to miss anything 😃

We had our final facilitation this week by Lesego, Suri and Nosisi with cakes to celebrate birthdays and all the warm good stuff🍪🍰☕🍵. The topic was on Making good decisions considering we make decisions everyday several times in a day. They introduced the different steps of making a good decision which is a good concept because it enables you to look at every aspect of the decision prior to making it things like consequences, benefits, outcomes etc. We also exercised a meditation similar to mindfulness one we did which they tied in with the benefits of Freeing the mind when making good decisions. They well informed and prepared and I enjoyed their session. Well done guys!!!

We then explored communication further. Listening with intent!! Ross mentioned a few things that we re so true, like multitasking during conversation which I di all the time where I will already be thinking of similar situations I have experienced and how I handled them and basically preparing advise. The fact is we dont need to advise, or give opinion. We are just meant to listen unless asked for advise, we whole point of a conversation is to be heard and the rest will follow in due course.

So a new thing I will be doing is to listen without interrupting then making sure I have heard what they needed me to hear, check if there is more and acknowledge feelings felt and ONLY advise when asked to!! Listening has nothing to do with me so don’t make it about me

Communication Intelligence

No facilitation this week, we introduced ourselves because we had a co-facillitator Andrian and she had an exercise for us to do. 3 groups building a bridge, and it went so well!! I’m so proud of the entire class. We really just took it in our stride and the results followed

Our group was also so chilled yet focused. We automatically divided again based on what everyone was good at, Suri and myself decoded the messages, Aus Noma went to view and draw the structure and the rest found ways to communicate with other groups and build the actual solid structure and we saved money😃. And when it was time to put the bridge together it came together beautifully👌🏾

We then went into the different roles we have when communicating, im an observer and I found that the hardest for me would be the move. I also discovered that I can challenge, support and observe with ease. I have had to learn how to challenge without being forceful, loud or imposing but this I learnt after years of being frustrated with myself for not voicing my opinions. But because I’m an observer first I usually try to get a feel for my challenging and wait for the right timing or approach. We also learnt on the team cohesion process and now I know that we mostly download and form at corporate meetings, I now have a better understanding of the process of debating and storming is necessary to get to the real conversation where new and more practical norms are formed in order to get to the collaboration. Most meetings will from form to norm and collaboration where ideas, views are not challenged or discussed by either fear of offending superiors or in other cases the storming becomes so intense it’s hard to move onto norming. Then the conversation, meeting doesn’t reach it’s full potential and not as fruitful as it could have been….

Freeing the mind💆🏾‍♀️🧘🏾‍♀️

💆🏾‍♀️Stressful start to the day…class locked>can’t set up> feeling even more anxious>issa mess!!

Eventually we checkin and they keep it short as we are already chasing time and action…It wasn’t as bad as it had played out in my mind. We managed to bring out that we all mind time to focus on ourselves and try to keep at it in order to be more authentic, objective and get to spend time with self. There are various ways one can clear their mind and it’s always good to try those you haven’t before to tap into a different side to you. A great point that came up was how have a clear mind enables you to take in new information without being bias🤔 Mindfulness was a relatively new exercise to most and they were open to trying it which is great!! Aus Noma it was such a pleasure to get to know you♥️I love the passion in you, may your light keep shining ⭐

Telfer my brother you are a rockstar✊🏽kept things moving and flowing like the WATER!I loved your calmness and control, you made the post. So past couple of years I thought I was a great communicator because I manage to speak to so many people, and it turns out not really. The very things I don’t like people doing while I’m communicating are those I do🙄🤷🏽‍♀️ and even when I think I’m being objective I just miss what I am supposed to be hearing. Listening is the most important part of communication. It should be intentional

Failing Foward

Let today be the day that i give up who I am and have been for who i can become because the biggest source of motivation are my thoughts and I can rise from anything. I can completely recreate myself because nothing is permanent so I am not stuck. I have a choice and I can think new thoughts and learn new habits. I have leant that, all that matters is that I decide and never look back and that today is another day but a chance to start over.

Failing Foward means overcoming failure. I am going to make mistakes but I know that failure has a positive power and strength so I need to persevere because I will learn and come out stronger. It means I need to move foward and to choose my response because my growth and freedom comes from lessons and challenges.

Learning from life means being flexible, open minded and respecting myself and other people’s opinions. It means I need to change the state of mind that I am in and my behavior. I do not take anything for granted and I am so thankful for life’s lessons because we are shaped by it. When ever I do not see the bigger picture, I will be mindful of my thought process and go to the balcony to make good decisions.

Making Good Decisions

I have learned that my decisions can impact others and me positively and negatively. I am not in control of other peoples’ decision making I can control only mine. Understanding the interruption caused by multi task listening I am learning to focus on what I am hearing and ask the sender questions to make sure that I have heard what was intended. It was so difficult to listen without adding words at the end of the senders sentence or to interrupt, but now I am practising to focus on the speaker and I am becoming better everyday. From hearing a full and clear information I am able to make good decision.

Communication Intelligence

Going through the barriers to communication has help me to be aware that what I hate when another person say to me I need to be careful not to say it to other people. I have learned that personally I need to learn to use all communication dynamics which connects all members and motivate group to share their ideas and get the opportunity to learn from others. As a facilitator I am practising to strengthen all levels of interaction. The practical session of listening have help me to learn to listen attentively and has improve my listening and communication skills. I am getting better on saying something and regret later I am getting use to think before I speak.

Making Good Decisions

Our everyday lives requires that we make decisions and it is very important to make the right one. You need to gather information and be in the right state of mind. Being aware of what you want and having clear values that you live by, makes things easier. I have learnt that situations are not the same everytime and we can never be fully prepared for them so we learn from both good and bad. Sometimes you can not make the best decision but you should learn from every challenge.

This has taught me to ask the right questions but to make my own choice. Listening to understand makes decision making easier because you get the message the way the speaker intended so you need to trust yourself and know that you are not responsible for other people’s behavior. The outcome might not be what they expected but if it is what you wanted, then you will be happy with your decision.

Learning takes practice and so is decision making. We can never be too prepared for situations but knowing the decision making process will help in looking at the situation from both angles and not only from my point of view. There is a reason behind every action and not everything is in black and white. What a journey this has been, so the stories we tell ourselves determines our decision making. Behavior is unpredictable and assumptions are human, trust yourself and expect to be surprised.

Decision Making

Coming to the end of our presentations it was amazing how every other topic interlinked with one another, the realization of how inportant not knly topic was but also how it brought about so much knowledge and change to one’s tacit way of doing things. Without the skills that one managed to learn on a weekly basis i cannot think of any other ways it cud have aided to such a moment where even as an adult learning can be not only fun but life changing and transorming. Engaging in a social or professional relation has never been any easier and i can only imagine what these set of skills can do when shared with the larger communities who will definetly benefit from.. Amazing!

Communication intelligence..

Lego!!!! I thought to myself lol. I must say the teaching from that exercise was absolutely amazing i mean just how it hit on both a personal level as well at a corporate environment just the importance of learning to understand how to communicate with other individuals and also respecting them and their respective roles without overstepping our boundries and offending or making others feel inadequate in anyway possible. If everyone of us can learn to be cognizant of others and their feelings whether in group works at work or on a social level this will absolute create a wonderful space to not only live but to interact as well with more understanding and respect amongst many other qualities.. I wish i knew this way prior lol how blissful my conduct would have been but i am grateful for this enlightenment.

Freeing the mind

Absolutely an insightful presentation which i thoroughly enjoyed. I love how it touched different stereotypes we often as individuals seem to cling to and sometimes the stubbornness to try evaluate how true or even feasible all these notions are. Living in such a diverse range of ways, beliefs and interests it really highlighted the aspect of learning to view or dissect issues with a different eye therefore helping to cleansing old ways and freeing the mind to not only better you as an individual but in a way to help aid sharing that mindset with others to form symbiotic lifestyles amongst one another.. Welldone Sego and Mam’Noma

Story telling

Well i sadly missed this one however after a quick one of some explaining well most definately i can relate and concur to it. Considering the fact that we are all different and so is our background, and a whole lot of other aspects that may have influenced us along the way. Every individual has a story to tell and imagine then if everyone from all diverse corners had to share their own how colorful and interesting it wud be to learn about one another needless to mention the synergistic atmosphere that wud create well only if we learn to listen with outmost respect and willfully so.. Everyone is a story and they too have an important story just as much as everyone else irrespective of their beliefs and so on

Seeing with new eyes 👀👓

I’m so bummed I missed class!! I missed the facilitation session😏 and the lesson on the topic so I’m feeling lost🙄 however as we learned in previous lessons “whatever happens is the only thing that could have happened”. Thank goodness for our WhatsApp group I got a glimpse of the pictures and a bigger thank you for the notes I got from some of my classmates 😊 and the biggest thank you to the blogs because I was able to read them and feel a part of the the entire class❤

Mental Models: subtle yet potent. The structure; filters allows only that information. Deletions information outside our boundaries of familiarity doesn’t get through. Distortions some information gets through but is changed or distorted and Generalizations are the information that is oversimplified and attributed to what we are familiar with

The RAS filters the information coming in and influences what we pay attention to. It’s all about how you choose to see things that happen to you. Should you focus in the negative you attract just that and vice versa. Would like not be easier if even when you are experiencing down hut choose to see the positive in that so that you can attract the good in that situation

Making Good Decisions

I thought the Check-in was very deep 🤯😨

What happened in your life that made an impact and changed your way of thinking to make better decisions. 

The feedback from the group was very emotional but yet positive. I learnt not to take people at face value – literally everyone is dealing with the impact of other people’s choices 😓 One decision can lead to untold misery and pain. 

I’ve decided to work at things that I can change, those that are painful to deal with but can be remedied and leave those things that cannot change. Complaining and moaning about them only lead to misery. You cannot heal a broken heart by holding on to hurt!

Lesego, Nosisi and Siri’s presentation about making good decisions helped me understand that our greatest freedom and source of strength is our God-given ability to make choices. We often feel trapped by circumstances when we don’t make the right decisions and whenever we take responsibility and make better choices, life gets better. 

If you stop every time a dog barks, your road will never end — Arabian Proverb

Life is not about luck or chance — it’s about our daily choices of understanding that we are all a product of our choices.

We continued on communication intelligence and did an exercise of learning to connect: 

It is amazing how we think we’re good listeners and always want to interrupt when the speaker tell their stories. People are desperate to be heard and we certainly need to learn to be aware of the assumption that we already know what is being said. I found listening really difficult as I wanted to add my lil’ two cents in every sentence and found myself filtering the information I received in my head 🙈because it didn’t interest me.

I will learn to accommodate others by being intentional to focus on the accuracy to receive and interpret the messages I’m receiving from the conversation. Understanding that listening is key to all effective communication, I learnt that without the ability to listen effectively, messages can easily be misunderstood.

LISTENING TO CONNECT

Today we had another intensive lesson. The tone was wonderfully set by the morning facilitation by three of our classmates whose topic was ‘Making Good Decisions’. It was an important topic which tied everything we had covered during this course. Everything we do in our professional and private lives lies on the making good decisions and the facilitation focused on how we reach the stage of making good decisions. Whether we make decisions with the head or the heart and what intrinsic senses do we use to reach that decision. The facilitation ended with a 5mins meditation exercise which really set the mood for the lesson that followed on ‘Listening To Connect’.

This class was another interesting class which we had two guests who were there with keen interest of what the class about. It has always been exciting when we had guest because they also always contributed positive feedback that was valuable for one to take and sometimes put it into practice in my daily life experiences. The lesson on ‘Listening to connect’ was very intense as listening is a very difficult skill and needs more practice, however the lesson really laid the foundation for one to practice this difficult skill.

“We judge other people by their intent and we judge ourselves by our behavior”- Dalai Lama

Listening to connect is a totally different to simply just listening. Listening to connect requires trust and one must listen with intent. Listening with intent is very difficult, we must not be multi-tasking and have a clear mind. I am interested in learning more about a discipline called Imago. In Imago listening requires one not to interrupt even if the person can speak for an hour. Listening with intent is of importance.

We then closed off the remaining hour with a dialogue around the class and I decided to place myself in a difficult advocacy line where I had to an observer and just listen with intent. I must say this was very difficult for me as I kept wanting to speak and put my point across. I managed contain myself and it was good practice for me as I will be taking this method to my political and professional space where I just go to the balcony and watch what is happening on the dance floor….

Making Good Decisions

Listening with intent is so difficult. I really enjoyed today’s class because once again I learnt so much about myself. We interrupt conversations so naturally and it is so important that you listen with intent to understand what the person is trying to tell you. I will practice this exercise with my husband. Also, the theory of IMAGO is so insightful.

Making good decisions

Today’s class was quite interesting. We learned about decision making and influences for good decisions as well as pure listening skills. I really enjoyed the listening skills lessons though because i constantly struggle with both listening as well as being listened to. I often listen to respond and solve the problem and i always get annoyed when i get interrupted with questions or what appears to be judgement of my actions when speaking.

The exercise i did with my beautiful class mate Lindiwe was very intense. I focused on her and maintained eye contact to block out the rest of the noise from the class. Her story was intense and i was able to reduce the noise and listen with clarity. I listened for intent and was very proud of myself that i did not interrupt her while she spoke.

I am going to apply this technique and sharpen my listening skills as well as educate those close to me so that they too can listen to me with intent so they can stop annoying me.

COMMUNICATION INTELLIGENCE

This week we did not have a facilitation group because one member of the class had missed so many classes and she decided to redo the class next semester, so the only remaining facilitator was then made to join the group that is going to facilitate next week. Luckily we had a guest facilitator Adrian who was amazing and well experienced. She made us participate in a group activity. At first this activity seemed to be a bit challenging, however soon as we realized that this was going to require team work and that individual strength was going to be of importance that it is used for the benefit of the whole group.

The exercise involved Legos and we were separated into three groups, each group had to build a section and when all the sections combined they would complete a bridge. This exercise relied on trust in each other from the group I was working with and also trust that the other two groups were building a structure that was going to fit in with ours. We had to use each others key strengths to its maximum capacity.

This exercise required maximum concentration and intelligence across all three groups in order for all of us to reach one goal which is build one solid bridge. It was amazing when we went back to class to fit in the pieces and the bridge was solid, so much that Adrian said we are the first ones to actually do it in a short time and got it perfectly right and she attributed that to the fact that we are a group that has trust in each other and we have been together for some time that we knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses. This exercise was good in drawing lessons on team work, patience and focus.

The second half of the class was also very engaging because it tied in perfectly with the exercise we did with Legos in the first part of the class. It was about Team Cohesion Process and the Communication Dynamics. This lesson was very important to me personally because I work in team driven environments both as a artist manager/ song writer and as a political leader of my political movement. This lesson helped me in being able to know the team cohesion model to know when engaged in team work which role I have to play at a particular time. Since this lesson I have taken a role of being the observer which has been the most difficult component of my character to explore. This has made me pay attention to the advocacy line that I am on at a particular situation.

CLEAR THINKING/COMMUNICATION INTELIGENCE

This was one of the most challenging class. It began with us arriving back from two weeks holiday and the class was locked by the security and we could have access for about 45mins. When we eventually got in the class Telfer told us that he will be facilitating as Roselyn couldn’t make it and that’s when the class began to misbehave.

The facilitating group on the day went through a stop/start scenario as we were busy chatting to each other in class and did not give them time to begin the facilitation. After a long 15-20 minutes chaos we began the facilitation and it was beautiful by the two facilitators of the day and it also set the facilitation class that took place later on.

When the facilitation on the topic of the day which was Freeing The Mind was completed, we took a short break. After the break resistance began as Telfer was trying to resume the class. I didn’t realize at the time that what was happening in class and the patience that Telfer practiced would result to one of the best classes and I was able to see first hand the stages we learned on the resistance barometer. Luckily Telfer dealt with the class wonderfully that after disruptions we fully participated and we actually started enjoying the facilitation which was about clear thinking and communication intelligence.

Seeing with new eyes

To be a true to success we must possess masterful people skills. The key to successful learning lies solely in our ability to see things from a different perspective or ‘seeing with new eyes’. Perspective taking is that all important skill of being able to look at things from a different point of view other than the one you previously had before the learning process takes place.

Focusing on point of view in literature enlarges students’ vision and fosters critical thinking by dramatizing the various ways a situation can be seen. This is especially valuable in international classes, wherein students from traditional education systems are often unfamiliar with critical ways of reading, questioning, and analyzing texts. Short stories told from a single, limited point of view or through the eyes of one character make excellent vehicles for demonstrating the extent to which limited knowledge or an emotional stake in the events colors a character’s vision. As students respond to stories and analyze their impressions, they see how their information was filtered through a point of view and limited by it; furthermore, they begin to see how their own experiences, cultures, or values affect their views. This is a simple demonstration of how a point of view and sympathy can be manipulated in a story. Everyone speaks with a different voice, see with different eyes, which fosters more flexible reading, writing, and thinking. Moreover, contact with literature stimulates more imaginative student writing and with it an increase of significant detail and appropriate figurative language.

This applies equally to complex learning process that we have been taught about over the past few weeks. Contact with literature enables students to see the process of learning with new eyes, different from how they have normally perceived it. People normally believe that for one to be able to effectively learn they just have to present themselves in a classroom and let the facilitator do the work. But that is not true as effective learning rather starts from within the person t be taught, they must firstly have a positive mindset which is willing to participate in the process of learning and also willingness to learn. Those are different eyes that they need to see learning with for it to be effective. This is regardless of the fact that Focusing on point of view in literature enlarges students’ vision and fosters critical thinking by dramatizing the various ways a situation can be seen. This is especially valuable in international classes, wherein students from traditional education systems are often unfamiliar with critical ways of reading, questioning, and analyzing texts. Short stories told from a single, limited point of view or through the eyes of one character make excellent vehicles for demonstrating the extent to which limited knowledge or an emotional stake in the events colors a character’s vision. As students respond to stories and analyze their impressions, they see how their information was filtered through a point of view and limited by it; furthermore, they begin to see how their own experiences, cultures, or values affect their views. Once students see how point of view and sympathy can be manipulated in a story, they are assigned writing tasks requiring them to shift points of view in a given story or in a story of their own. They must speak with different voices, see with different eyes, which fosters more flexible reading, writing, and thinking. Moreover, contact with literature stimulates more imaginative student writing, and with it an increase of significant detail and appropriate figurative language.Focusing on point of view in literature enlarges students’ vision and fosters critical thinking by dramatizing the various ways a situation can be seen. This is especially valuable in international classes, wherein students from traditional education systems are often unfamiliar with critical ways of reading, questioning, and analyzing texts. Short stories told from a single, limited point of view or through the eyes of one character make excellent vehicles for demonstrating the extent to which limited knowledge or an emotional stake in the events colors a character’s vision. As students respond to stories and analyze their impressions, they see how their information was filtered through a point of view and limited by it; furthermore, they begin to see how their own experiences, cultures, or values affect their views. Once students see how point of view and sympathy can be manipulated in a story, they are assigned writing tasks requiring them to shift points of view in a given story or in a story of their own. They must speak with different voices, see with different eyes, which fosters more flexible reading, writing, and thinking. Moreover, contact with literature stimulates more imaginative student writing, and with it an increase of significant detail and appropriate figurative language.each individual possesses a uniquely functioning mind, dependent on their experiences; hence under no circumstances should people’s mind-sets be positioned in an identical manner.

Personally, I have also been able to see learning with new eyes through adapting to new effective ways of learning such as utilising group work or teamwork which enables the mind not to think too much.  Through team or group work as a student I have been motivated, thus enabling and equipping me to carry the same spirit when carrying out my individual tasks at my own time. Therefore, I have seen with new eyes that social learning also assists in relaxing the mind and reduces chances of learning under stress.

In conclusion, the process of learning has proven to be vital in contributing towards my self-development as it equips me with new skills and further enable me to be able to easily adapt to change and new techniques. It is also essential to assert that active learning where together with other students we are actively involved in the process and self-reflection are more memorable than passive learning and contribute significantly towards continuously seeing learning with new eyes as it evolves. i

Learning from Life

Personal impact depending on the aspects that one is looking at it is not easily definable; it is a component that is made up of numerous qualities of an individual. However, like any other human component it can be worked on and improved through paying attention to the aspects which add up to the personal impact. Characteristics that are most used to identify with personal impact first and foremost in most times would be the physical appearance of the individual, then follow the way they move and lastly they were that they talk. All these are contributing to the final impact of what an individual ought to acquire to say to have achieved personal impact.

It is vital that to understand that personal impact is critical for any individual at any stage of their lives, whether they are a student or a professional; an entry employee or the senior manager of an organisation. Therefore, this tells a story that skills and experience play a critical role in as far as an individual can get in the world, the personal impact is what makes the difference. One of the difficulties in self-discovery journey is that some of the most important aspects of our authentic selves reside in our unconsciousness. As students, this unconsciousness is unlocked with different encounters of learning. Each subject triggers the brain in excitement of new information and learning and depending on how the student receives that information will determine whether or not they make it through their academics.

As a student, one must develop the flexibility to adapt the behaviour in challenging situations, rather than react to what they have learnt as foreign. A whole-self approach would seek to acknowledge the masks and parts that make up our inner landscape and operate authentically. Knowledge of self allows students to figure out what they are good at and therefore to develop in that area or put more effort on studies which they are mostly inadequate at. Personal impact teaches us that the mentioned approach constitute the acceptance and interjection of owning the polarity of our beings. When a student accepts and owns these aspects of their lives they can be better students and can become more in charge of how they show up. Additionally, this will allow them to start unmasking themselves and dropping the shields so that they fully utilise their true authentic selves.

Life teaches us first impressions lasts rather than teaching us of lasting impressions; this on its own have created individuals who feel more pressured about their personal impact. Lasting impressions outweighs the first encounter with a person, it is important that the various aspects that produce one’s personal impact are explored to have a lasting impression rather than appealing ones way with one aspect of who they think they may be. It is more than just one quality that offers the true personal impact of a person.

What ultimately counts is life is someone who is able to do something with self-knowledge. The final stage in personal impact in taking action, a student in taking the action to want to learn and therefore do what they know they ought to study to achieve the goal. However, life also teaches us that taking action is probably one of the most complex and risky aspect of personal impact. Hence the need to be aware of people who says there is a trick to it; this phrase has discouraged a number of people because if it was that easy everybody could be doing it. Therefore, your authentic self can never be replicated by anybody. 6

Freeing The Mind

It is important to make some time for your yourself, you are not being selfish. Free your mind and the rest will follow. As the saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup”. I have learnt that I need to take proper care of my body by freeing the mind from negative thoughts, guilt and pain. Exercise, meditation and mindfulness are necessary for introspection and inner evaluation. I need to have a quiet corner atleast for 20 minutes a day just to relax. I have never done meditation and yoga but I am willing to try because I have nothing to lose but a lot to gain.

Meditation forces you to sit and listen, quiet your mind and slow down your thoughts. Mentally shifting your focus into the presence requires a constant check on yourself. Do something that gives you a great feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment and your body will respond.

Mindfulness requires a higher level of awareness for peace of mind. It requires you to be present and your mind is completely activated in what you are doing with detail and attention. The benefits affects your mood, mind and your health. Not focusing on your fears and negative thoughts makes our troubles smaller and they are less likely to affect us on a daily basis and then meditation addresses the underlying causes of the problems.

I have learnt that I can free my mind by meditation, exercise ( which I am doing), letting go of the past, being mindful and by listing what I am grateful for. I am learning more about meditation and mindfulness and it is up to me to make that change.

Freeing the mind

Clear thinking can be described as one of the important human abilities, ability to think rationally and critically to without jumping into conclusion by having a thoughtful and independent thought. As a result, clear thinking assists us in our daily lives to make better decisions in life through the knowledge that we have attained. This therefore states that thinking clearly encompasses the ability for us to take what we know and use that to solve problems in our lives thereof.  

Being a student require one to have clear thinking, on a daily basis students are required to deduce the information that is given to them to solve various problems. It is important that as a student an individual knows that good memory does not necessarily mean clear thinking. The important of test and exams in universities as to evaluate how much an individual can deduce the knowledge from the information they have given throughout the year. The direct results of higher thought clarity is the increased level of problem solving of students; this is the optimum state of the mind. Thus, freeing one’s mind implies that they will be able to make better decisions about their academics and get better results.

Clear thinking is a skill that can be improved and mastered; as such the following are the focus areas critical to improve on clear thinking.

  • Check Your Attitude

Attitude is a very important factor in a clear thinker’s progress; it always reflects the priorities of a student. It is very easy when a student likes a subject to come up with numerous ways to get to understand it better as compared to when they do not like the subject and they come with reasons why they cannot forge ahead.

  • Have a Clear Purpose

The reason most students do not do well as school is not because they are considered to be imbeciles, but rather because they are chasing moving targets; this means that they focus on passing the exams which is the finish line instead on focusing on each test and deadline assignment that comes their way which if they do well, exams just entails all they have been doing well. That level of a clear thinker to solve such a dynamic system needs focused individual who does not continually change their focus as and when the academic road gets bumpy. 

  • Use your Negative Thinking to produce Positive Action

Being a pessimist or not, all individuals have at different stages negative thoughts; negative thoughts are one of our most valuable assets. It is true because negative thinking creates stimulus that free the mind with various imagination to achieve a goal. This can be seen with students who are at their most reactive towards exams which they have not studied for; they create numerous ways to cheat their ways into passing the exams.

Therefore, it is vital for learn the ability of thinking from why not to how to; but this necessitates a clear focused goal which cannot be diverted from us by others who want us to lose direction. However, the only ideal mantra to keep a clear thinking attitude is learning how to differentiate all diversities in every conversation. Most student fail to distinguish this important goal setting with their ego; most students do not want to be assisted by others because they believe they are in the same level of understanding thereby refusing of themselves to learn from them and they become defensive, as such letting their egos to become more important than the issue of them learning and improving on their clear thinking. important than

Communication Intelligence

Communications intelligence is defined as technical and intelligence information gained through the interception of foreign communications by other than the intended recipients. This concept carries with it enormous level of accepting risks and innovation embedded with it, however, with that come the possibility of failure with the new inherent ideas and approaches. The success of communication intelligence comes with failing forward and never letting the idea to waste. Reimagining the ideas with the necessary amendments to success, complete failure is not an option which sets one to give up.

As a student, utilizing the skills from communications intelligence is vital; communication intelligence teaches that to solve the most complex problems a student has to have a different relationship with failure. That is to say that, the student ought to view the failure as a learning curve rather than a blockage; additionally, it teaches the student to adapt and have the acceptance of things not going their way. Furthermore, failure teaches the student to be resilient in what they want to achieve. It took decades for the Japanese to break though the codes of the United States during the world word, to intercept such information after so many years meant that they never gave up and never saw their attempts as insignificant.

The other upside about failure in the communication intelligence is the fact that it brings about innovation; this affords a student to learn with each subject that there are different ways of tackling problems thereby requiring them to be their best self to manoeuvre around to find solutions. Furthermore, student learns creativity and quickness of thought to confront this kind failure. Even though the two understanding from the point of face value; they are highly intertwined and serve a clear process flow. This is the value that the student learns and can use when handling their academic work, to understand that learning happens after a failure; whilst the idea of innovation takes occurrence because a student has made room for failure in the first place. Therefore understanding this flow allows the student to learn and know how to work around it.

Therefore, communication intelligence triggers the reaction of appreciating the curiosity of our minds when we learn something new and furthermore, when we fail at something. With communication intelligence there comes a high probability of failure, as such it ought to be embraced rather than seen as a blockage. Only those that embrace it and visualise it beyond just as a negative experience get the better of it and maximum learning from it.

Failing Forward

Fabulous and quite an informative session with guest Facilitator Adrianne. The exercise was challenging and as a class group we managed to crack it quite well. I learnt how to work with other teams in achieving a common goal. This was great for me as my work environment is pretty much similar. All teams are dependent on the other to achieve our goal.

The discussion on Mover, Challenger, Supporter and Observer was very interesting. It made me aware of how I need to become all 4 of these even though my default may be only one aspect. Facilitation clearly shows us how we need to be a bit of everything in terms of balance. Unknowingly we use communication, roles, responsibilities, objectives, strengths and weaknesses. It becomes an ongoing daily learning process which we can incorporate into our lives as well as when we are facilitating.

Facilitation as instrument of change (social media)

We live in a world that is forever changing, and those that do not adapt to the changing world remain behind and die like dinosaurs. The world has entered into the 4th industrial revolution and industries alike are battling to keep relevant to the market place; social media has become the biggest consumer of information and any product that exists. Therefore, only those that equip themselves with the skill of facilitation will lead change and survive.

Facilitation is a leadership skill that recognizes that the change process is an important integral process that needs to be mastered by any leader.  It permits suddenness as well as likelihood to co-exist in this multifaceted process of attaining the set goal while diminishing anxiety and increasing trust. As such, facilitation aligns the knowledge already identified; this means that the information that is well known about social media reactions and patterns will be used to adjust the values of the organisation through the internal structural and operational systems.

Social media having millions if not billions of users affords the learners with the opportunity to carry out learning or carry out surveys using different social platforms and using their contacts that have greater skill in the subject matter for assessments. A research student like any market research organisation can use the information on different platforms through what is known as data mining; the information can therefore be used for various researches they want to carry out. The student through the opportunity of applying their curiosity and exploring new academic boundaries will unavoidably grow in leaps and bounds through the many opportunities they have with facilitating the growth in others on the social media platforms. As mentioned earlier, facilitation merely aligns what is already known to achieve a focused set goal to build trust and integrity in the information collected.

Lessons of facilitation as an instrument of change in social media can be seen as follows:

To explore empowerment strategies and new ways of working with social media users;

To have an in-depth understanding of the issue that the student is addressing; and

Test assumptions about how new strategies of change could be achieved.

Essentially these numerous platforms push a student to think of themselves as powerful and shift their mindset to grasp past the obstacles of change; after all, change is not an enemy to those that accept its presence as inevitable.

In conclusion, facilitation as an instrument of change more specifically in social media is the ability to adjust an internal change of the known information by users as a cohesive group with a shared vision and translating it into familiar strategic plan for implementation.

Freeing the Mind

A lovely presentation by Lesogo and Nsi Noma, we were spoilt with a lovely breakfast. I have great admiration for these two ladies as the venue was opened 45 minutes later but this did not affect their presentation or offset them in any way. They kept calm, cool and collected and presented to the best of their ability.

Rosslyn was away and we had Telfer facilitate the class. Initially there was mixed reaction as to how it was going to go. But once it began and we gave him a chance, he proved to us that having an unconscious bias could go two ways. He came with his own style of facilitation and I might add that he was very good. The class progressed quite naturally and he stood his ground. I must commend him for conducting the class with such passion and professionalism. Well done Telfer, we learnt a lot!

We discussed the 4 phases of communication ie Bridging the communication divide, advocacy, listening and inquiry. As a facilitator you need to listen attentively and remain neutral. Speak for 30% of the class whilst the audience speaks for 70%. We should also be mindful when someone speaks. This tied in quite nicely with the decision spiral and going below the water line. The class exercises that we engaged in opened our minds to the barriers of communication and what issues others may also face with us. To free our mind we need to understand all types of personalities.

I learnt that I need to listen more and not cut people off when they speak. I should take a step back and hear them out. This included having some patience from my side.

Communication Intelligence

This Saturday morning was a total drag for me.

Not looking forward to class at all. I’m exhausted!!! lol I literally fast forward to that moment after class where I eventually got to just lay in bed thinking about nothing 😁😁😁(HAPPINESS) 

Class turned out to be a big surprise.

Ross introduced a friend of hers Adrian. 

Adrian herself is a facilitator and she taught us another interesting way we can use and practice for adult learning experience. 

I was intrigued by the excicise we had to complete. We were instructed to build a bridge using a few interesting materials — LEGO, instruction sheet, money and no prior knowledge. 

A team-building activity in which groups must work together to build a bridge structure out of lego. The exercise seemed challenging in the beginning, yet due to the limited amount of information provided it created an eagerness to learn. I found it really interesting how everyone in their groups had to recognize their own strengths immediately to complete the task. The activity forced engagement amounts each other, understanding group dynamics, consideration and respect. You literally find yourself being tested to trust your group members, that they will deliver or provide the right information as we had to communicate with other groups to complete the task. Communication was limited and expensive as we had to use the money provided. My group really took care of our resources and we worked really well together.

The learning was so relevant that it showed me the importance of communication. It emphasized group communication, leadership dynamics, conflict, cooperation, patience and problem solving strategies. 

My Aha moment was witnessing how the exercise created an ambience of energy. Everyone participated and had great fun. 

I will definitely use such techniques to apply creative collaboration and unleash potential in my team or organization.

a new side to LEGO

The facilitation techniques introduced to the us today were very effective. I really enjoyed working with my team and building on my weaknesses. The result of building the Lego bridge was rewarding because we were not 100% sure of what to do but we were still able to contribute towards the exercise.

Also, discovering that my strengths lie in being an observer and a supporter was not surprising to me. I usually listen attentively to everyone before I say anything….I would love to build on being a mover and challenger. Ross is so insightful and I learn something new every time she facilitates.

Communication Intelligence

It’s amazing how much I learn about myself at each facilitation skills class.

I enjoyed the bridge building LEGO exercise and felt that I really worked well with my team. Initially when we were formed we had to group very quickly and figure out how we were going to build the bridge and of course the accountant in our group did not want us to spend the money on phone calls😂😂😂😂. We quickly moved from the storming phase to norming where we established roles and had a plan of action. By the time we were performing, our part of the bridge was taking shape very nicely. All our efforts were rewarded when the three groups came together with a perfect bridge that fitted like a glove.

I also learned that I live on the advocacy line, I’m a mover and a challenger, I struggle in work meetings to be an observer or supporter. This revelation has got me thinking that I perhaps need to slow down and practice being on the enquiry line. Start most meetings as an observer to know how best to challenge the discussions and debates so that I can support the conversation to achieve the direction we want to move in.

Seeing with new eyes

I think by far this facilitation had my emotions in all cardinal points..

It is amazing how one never realizes the importance of making a habit to taking a breaking to reflect and introspect on life and its journeys just to have create that place of recognition and gratitude well i hope that’s making sense lol…

Being brought up to believe that goal orientation is key and “constructively” so for that matter however no one was ever brought up given a manual on how things should be done nor the “supposed expectations” lack of a better word …

Well i am in my adult years at 30 years of age. (lets reverse the year book) its 2018 and i am about to make a life changing decision oh and yes i am turning 30 and my resume is happily making updates. I have been working for a good 11 years and need a change but i don’t hold a degree to add me to the jungle of job seekers and “credibility” which yes that is very important as well as going up the corporate ladder! So i decide let me resign and go to a Renaud university and work on this phased it seemed i missed out on.

2019, im very excited and praying that all i have planned plus all i informed God on will work out all so well. Fwrd 4 months later things had gone left and i was not sure if i had made the right decisions and i was filled with feelings of disdain and anger towards self and life itself and i am so broke WOW!!

Then a number angels graced not only my senses, heart, brain, passion, ambition and amongst many but my will to greatness. I swear it was like having walked out of an ophthalmologist (specialist in the branch of medicine concerned with the sudy and treatment of disorders of the eye) with new eyes!!! The acknowledgement of having to sit and breath that yes u too are human with dreams, goals, ambitions, wait… Credibility and ability to BECOME! Shortcomings, fear, negativity oh my the list goes on especially when i thought i had just dug my grave. Wait but a chance waited, one that spoke the language of chance to try and turn and see life in a different lence. Dear Lord in that moment i felt as though i breathed a different air of color and no longer a black and white movie of my own life… And out of greatness i learned to appreciate the importance of the simplicity of life and all it brings to ones plate, the lessons, the notes, oh wait you even become a weather reporter of your own self u can learn to predict what may according to the decisions that you took prior however the flip end or rather let’s say the end results…. My dear brother you wait. But its worth it nore so when u practice the principle of taking time before making a decision and lensing it “well” in colour so that you have options to able you to decipher better…

Life is what u make it but are you looking at it with eyes that give u a full view of its possibilities and acknowledgement that falling doesn’t exactly mean failure… Yes its allowed to drop down and be in a space of confusion, well so we call it however it’s all a young break of ensurance and more so to evaluate if all is well on place…

Dear La’toya & Lindi, amongst many other angels. I was brought back to my God and his principles and guidance and impeccable is what u presented and i bow to teaching and what it resonated in me.

Honouring life.

Learning agility

Its so sad how as much as there has been so many awarness about many important issues on sex, assault, crime and many other to mention the least needless to add the perceptions that aids many of these…

Well i have one of my best friends that got hijacked on a rainy Monday afternoon on a holiday in Braamfontein. He’s a 27 year old male gay boy coming back from home in Nelspruit so u can imagine that 3hour 30min trip thinking you are almost home and u can’t wait to just pack that car and “your hair down”. Sadly for my friend as he off ramped there was 3 guys all with guns and out of fear he pulled up the car “there the show began”. To cut it shot he was undressed down to his birth suit and put back in the back seat and violated.

My point is there where so many things said to him during this atrocious act after noticing he was gay and well thank Goodness for his life!!! However its so hard how someone’s life and respect is disregarded in such acts i mean there is a young individual being humiliated and called all names its bad enough u cleaned him out of his integrity nd belongings but yet you see fit to further make them feel inhuman and insignificant.

Its so sad how humanity can be taken for granted and violance seem to prevail far worse. Absolutely no honor in acknowledgement of our differences.!

Learning from Life

Personal Impact.

Friday Evening, 20:09 in an uber going to visit a friend in Randburg. I guess we have all heard the news on how uber rides aren’t as safe as they seem to because of the disappearance of clients or how they would even rob the very clients they render services to.Well my driver went by a weird name that i can’t mention, born in Zimbabwe and very fluent in English i must say and funny our conversation kicked off when i sae traffic cops and rolling eyes thinking there goes the delay little did i realise that when i was “in thought” i proper said it out and he laughed and said “relax my brother, i never get stopped by cops… (laughing) maybe it might be because I’m from Zim…” surprised i ask how that had to do with everything. Thats how we broke into the whole xenophobic topic in the whole of Africa and how it has gone all so prevalent too and i promise this was one of the most intellectual engagements i have had in a very long time and brought me to the realization that everyone has a story to tell and how if those were told how great it would be to sit down put all guns down and try to reflect and rectify what can basically done to make things right of the discriminations and misunderstandings…I have so much love for all my fellow African family.

Principles of engagement.

Growing up, i often found it very difficult to make relationships of any kind be it romance nor friendship needless to mention on a professional sphere as i grew up however, i got to learn how every individual has something to give as well as gain and building relationships has its rewards and adds to every curve of learning. In that i guess thru the advances of not only technology but mere human interaction can aid great transfer of tacit knowledge which can bring about the greater vision of knowledge that is not only transferable but wisdom amongst many other possibilities and benefits. Dreams will therefore therefore bring about the ability for change and thereafter the principle of change will therefore be acknowledged and taken to greater heights… Let’s engage.

Seeing with new eyes.

I have just recently learned about the Reticular Activating System (RAS) and I feel like it is magic. I remember a time when I was shopping around for a Nisssan NP200 bakkie. All of a sudden I started seeing the exact model, colour and specs that I wanted, more frequently on the road. It was as though they were everywhere. Considering the RAS, that experience now makes sense. I now know what steps to take in order to manifest a part of my reality. I need to focus, affirm and meditate on whatever it is that i want, this process will place my goal into my RAS and i will start seeing opportunities that will edge me closer to achieving those goals.

Honouring difference

There is a saying that ‘change is the only constant in life’. This implies that permanence is an illusion and that everything lives in a process of constant change or difference. Honouring or to honour is to hold in high regard or respect; personal integrity; reputation; privilege. A person who honours difference is someone who embraces change or welcome transformation.
Thinking about it; difference is seen as manifestation of world’s transformations as well as its transition from season to season and occurs among people who transform – both physically, mentally, socially, emotionally and even spiritually – every single day of their lives. It is seen in civilization, politics, thought, art, geography and economy, etc.; in just about every aspect of the modern world. The word ‘difference’ refers to an act or instance of making or becoming different – such as history’s difference or transition, from a nomadic to an agricultural society.
If this notion is valid, then why does it seem that so many people are resistant to anything that is different from what they are used to? It’s a tough question to answer, but warrants an attempt. Consider all the different stages in a person’s life: a person is born a small baby, they live and grow, then one day become old and decrepit, and they ultimately die. It is the natural order of things, but no one wants to get old, suffer and die. So naturally, people do things to resist this big change, only to finally come to terms that they – like all living things – must wither away into a state of nothingness.
People willingly and deliberately do things to go against the grain of aging, such as avoiding unhealthy lifestyle choices, like sleeping too little, eating unhealthy foods, smoking, drinking too much alcohol, and stressing too much too often. But avoiding the natural changes of life or not honouring different stages of life only adds more suffering, creating a deep feeling that one is not being true to themselves and not living according to the natural order of the world. This, in turn, creates inner turmoil, as their resistance to change does more harm than good.
Perhaps people are afraid of honouring difference and its implications for good reasons. People work hard in their lives, both professional and personal, to get the hang of it – to figure it out. Then comes along a big change or difference, a departure from what was previously seen and understood as normal and it’s hard to accept. Honouring difference makes for new challenges, for different ways of doing things and it creates a disruption of the normal way of living for most people.
This is similar to honouring and embracing new or different ways of learning that one have never been exposed to before. It creates fear and uncertainty in an individual if they are going to grasp their studies or not because they are used to what they have been exposed to and convinced that it is the only effective method. However, honouring or embracing these new methods might lead to even more effective methods of learning which could possibly surpass what they have known for the longest time. To conclude, it seems logical that a person can avoid much suffering in life if they take on a perspective that includes honouring difference – and just going with the flow of life, it is better that way. Honouring change or difference appears to be the only constant in life because things hardly stay the same; the only way to survive is to learn to honour change as it occurs.

Freeing the mind

Wow, what a beautiful facilitation piece. I have always wondered about meditation and what the benefits are. Today’s session really helped me understand exactly what it means to relax. It is so hard for me to relax and switch off my mind from the world. I also struggle to sleep. My husband will fall of to sleep the minute his head hits the pillow and there I am thinking about the most random things or what I need to do the next day. Mindfulness Meditation has many benefits, for instance sleeping better and that is right up my ally. This type of meditation also lowers your stress levels and gets rid of negative energy. I see myself doing meditation.

Clear thinking

What a way to relax 🧘🏽‍♀️✨

It is so difficult in today’s time to find a moment to just switch off and collect your thoughts. I personally struggle with that. It is not easy to rid your mind of stress while maintaining the pressures to remain focused to achieve better. 

Lesogo and Ous Noma’s presentation certainly put the importance of freeing your mind into perspective. Freeing one’s mind sounds totally easy but not when one has to put it into practice. 

I loved the ambiance they created in the room with their lil’ set up — Yoga mats and candles 🕯so romantic. 

I believe you get back what you send out.  I am a very “up” person and try by all means to maintain my enthusiasm. Today I was challenged to pay attention to my mind while nurturing my wellbeing through exercises such as stretching and meditation. We did a great activity and we were instructed to sit upright, on the floor or a chair, close our eyes and start focusing on our breathing and some parts of our body. I thought about a few things I’m thankful for and was happy to be in that environment. I’ve never practiced meditating before, it was amazing to learn that I can literally do it in the comfort of my own home 🏡or in the car. 

I realized that when you free the mind, you are overcoming distractions that get in the way of what matters most to you personally. I have so much to be thankful for 🙏🏽💕and it is so easy to take it for granted with all the worries and overall amount of stresses in our lives. I will definitely learn to focus on having a happier and more fulfilling life. 

I learnt so much about my self during this class. 

We touched on communication intelligence and how every conversation is a learning experience. 

The different barriers of communication ultimately exposed me 🙈I’m not easy to communicate with, it is me who must make the choice to break away from listening with-out really hearing what others are saying or displaying no emotions. I am totally embarrassed and after today I’ve learnt to be mindful of others. 

Respect goes a long way 🙏🏽💕

Seeing With New Eyes

‘ Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself’ Rumi. Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions so all we have is now. Negative and positive energy can influence your life so you need to see the world with new eyes and not take anything for granted.

I have learnt that I need to shift my belief system and look at the conversations going on in my head. I need to disempower the negative thoughts and be consistent. I will be confident to achieve my vision which is to manage my beliefs System. My motto now is stop, breathe and keep moving so that’s how I plan to approach everyday situations . I have some insecurities, fears and frustrations but I need to control the negative self talk that’s rooted from something that occurred in my life. Seeing with new eyes means for best results I need to change my behavior and act or change the state that I am in and focus on my goal. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing effective. Seeing with new eyes means replacing the negatives with positives and committing to making the change.

What I learn everyday inclass is priceless and I am very grateful for the lessons. Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path. Sometimes you have to die a little inside in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger and wiser version of you. Being positive and seeing with new eyes produces positive results.

Week 1…

This course is amazing…. So first things first, the amazing live’s surprises about human energies…

Social media, but temporarily scrap that.. so I was on my WhatsApp and came across a status about a very young boy who used a street light to study and my goodness I was so captured by the essence of passion his face…so much that I wanted to actually help him but then coming back to how the technological world has literally helped and like most catalysts my goodness I was reminded how we now bow down to the hand of the internet and just CONNECT!!!! But to a more personal note which actually happens to be my 2019 year of growth I so call it …

I took a leap of faith to study and wow who knew what was up ahead well…. To my acknowledgment and what I forever cling to God is and will of coz be so I wondered my absolute resources amongst many other things I will need to be my outmost magical self to bloom as I always dream to be🤣🤣🤣.

But basically I realized, one needs a cling and well in your face it’s one of “hope” and thank u internet, social networks and all the peeps I’m yet to meet😅. Well to cut most short .. I feel I need to grace the weather forecast and welcome the storms😂.. but for what it’s worth assistance is always welcomed…. well at least amongst many other and m sure you many understand how this too …