Honoring Differences

The check in was so significant this morning – What brings you joy😅😅😅 

With all my heart I praise the LORD! I will never forget how kind he has been – Psalm 103:2 

Knowing that I’m fully known and loved by him brings me so much joy and his grace never runs dry 🙏🏽💕 

Lindi and Amisha’s presentation was so relevant in today’s world – The Power of We (Work environment). 

I work for a small optometric practice and I’ve come to realize that no matter how small, one will always encounter unforeseen challenges within a group. Knowing your strengths and weakness is so important so that you don’t find yourself dominating and creating an unpleasant environment for those around you. During this practical exercise, I’ve learnt that having a common goal within a group is important, team work and contribution goes a long way. I’ve learnt to communicate better, listen with understanding and build more personal relationships while considering and sharpening my strengths. 

The case study (A company making decisions to change management) done in class portrayed how we should embrace different perspectives while working in a group. I don’t think anyone intentionally sets out to hurt people but differences often result in misunderstandings, uncertainty and conflict that seems to worsen the situation. 

Sadly, there have been many bad repercussions that started as good intentions 🤝 in most companies, organizations, churches, schools etc. 

Unfortunately actions speak louder than intentions. We need to make sure we understand our environment, the history of our organizations and ask ourselves should we go ahead and do this thing, how will it be interpreted? 

Don’t hinder the organization’s growth because of your own selfish reasons. Let’s continue to empower others and learn from each other 👊🏽💥

Week 5: Honouring Difference

So, as it is my thing to miss class – because sport is my life… I missed this one too… When I first read the facilitation topic I immediately thought about sex, gender and diversity. I was about to go into a whole discussion about the difference between sex and gender and how the new world needs to diversify the integration of the two and a whole bunch of stuff regarding self-identification, but I just finished my Week 5: Learning Agility blog and I wrote so much about the difference between my results on the ‘test’ and the thoughts I had on it that I really don’t think it is necessary to talk about my sex, gender and diversity thing. GO READ MY COMPLAINING SESSION!

Week 5: Learning Agility

Learning agility is being able to learn, adapt and make sense of uncertainty before applying ourselves in our current volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous world. It was said in the course pack that people with high levels of agility are able to learn quickly, in a number of ways and are able to apply their learning to succeed in their set out task. Now, although this all makes sense for me, I cannot help but wonder if there are some sort of loopholes in this process. My immediate thought goes to psychological disorders and how a mental disability could affect the learning agility of a person. I would have to do a lot of research on it though to have a full understanding, but it is definitely something that I needed to put in this blog. I mean we need to look back at them after-all right?

For this class we needed to complete the questionnaire on learning styles. Whilst I found that most of the information that was’spat out’ at the end of the test was correct, there were some for which I have HUGE disagreements. The analytical me has of course gone the extra mile to work through the data and look at percentages and relationships. So bare with me whilst I complain about my results like a true unsatisfied student.

Firstly, A and B, Left brain or right brain. I already know that I work more with my left brain that my right brain so it wasn’t a surprise that I scored higher there… but by one point. I am both analytical and creative. I am analytically creative! Which is awesome, but the test gives 9 questions which means that there will have to be one side stronger than the other. No matter what the outcome was. The same happened in the number of questions for the information sorting styles and the motivation preferences. These two I’m not necessarily complaining about because in both there was an outright answer. I am OCD so I always focus on the detail and the internal preferences. I’m not a fan of seeing the big picture if you don’t know the nitty gritty, and external preferences mean people… I’m not a fan of people and their judgment. But nine questions means that there is no chance of getting a 50/50 answer. There will always be a larger side. There has to be.

Sensory Preferences. Well when I was still in junior school I did a test to see my sensory preferences and it came up with reading and writing… This wasn’t part of the test, so either it was left out of this one or the other one lied. Also, I would never peck myself with an auditory sensory preference?

Finally, learning styles… I’m an initiator and then an operator? the first means that I am extroverted and being thrown into the deep-end. Well This can just have a big red cross drawn right through it. I am anything but an extrovert. In fact in am an introverted introvert. I am more than the complete opposite. But I can agree that O like to try new ideas and techniques and I am pretty practical so maybe I am an undercover initiator. Then and operator says that I am comfortable with unpredicted change and a people person. I’ve been told that I am great with people but to be honest, they scare me. Unpredictable change is a no-no for me. I mean I have OCD. I like things to be in order and planned in advance. If it isn’t or if it changes then I get anxious and panic.

Okay, so let me sum it up…

I have two dominant hemispheres but my left brain seems to be edging into the lead. I work a lot better with detail and I have many many internal preferences (control, low trust in others and high trust in myself). I am a visual learner but more so auditory and I am am initiator and operator who happens to be extremely introverted… Hmmm…

Honoring Differences

This week Lindi and I facilitated and oh my GOD…. the week leading up to this was stressful not because we had to facilitate but because Lindi and I were still very un-sure about our topic…..

Friday night Lindi and I met at home and chatted over a cup of hot brewing rooibos tea and guess what?? We smashed it…we finally brainstormed and got the idea we were searching for. Let me tell you that honoring differences is not the easiest topic, there are so many topics around this and we learnt that we are similar in so many ways by trying to analyse every topic. We started to relax when we both got onto the same idea and same head space!

So honoring differences in the workplace and in a project team…. everyone can contribute. Even if it’s a weakness, someone else in your team can carry that as a strength. Your weakness can become your strength. Team success in a diverse workplace requires more than a common goal. Respecting the differences is key. Honoring Individuals and Their Differences in perspectives are powerful.

I hope we did ok and managed to get our message across

Honoring differences

I struggle a lot with to be honest, I mean I know that we have different personalities and all but I struggle to understand why people make the decisions they do. Today I learnt that no matter how much I struggle with understanding, it’s still important for me to respect these differences, that’s what makes the journey interesting and worth it. Picture a world where we were all the same, no diversity or uniqueness, my word! That would be insane, dull and more of a black and white world, no color or shades of even, these differences make us who and what we are, they are not such a bad thing come to think of it, in fact we need them to achieve certain goals… it would make absolutely no sense to all say the same thing, like the same thing and still expect an exiting world…hai, so honor difference and add a bit off color and sparkle to your life, who knows it might boost your creativity and we all know we need a bit of creativity in our lives.

Learning from life-personal impact

My good Lord, I must say this was an interesting one!lol, working on this topic taught me so many things about myself that I didn’t even know about. When Matthews and I were getting ready for this class I couldn’t help but wonder if everyone would really understand what we were trying to communicate, I mean for the first time in a long time reasoning started to make sense to me, who would have ever thought that we use our brains the way we do? I was particularly excited to do this presentation, hahaha, I just wanted to see how everyone would cope with the activities and how far they were willing to go to understand. But more than anything it really was testing my ability, my ability to do what many say comes naturally to me #hides and how I cope under pressure, and even if I say so myself I did well, all thanks to my partner! High five Mat!!!

Principles of engagement

It is quite interesting how we are familiar with these “rules” but never really apply them, or should I say we know exactly how we should engage with each other in all sorts of environments but never really bother to apply any of these methods or rules. Take for instance in a facillitation class, certain behaviors are expected, results, but as we engage one never really thinks about these things. I learnt quite a few interesting things this week, such as ensuring comfort and a sense of safety, way before people feel uneasy, usually we try to assure people as soon as they start getting uncomfortable, and by then it might be too late, the audience might be disconnected and disrupted by their concerns. I really enjoy the idea of allowing people to be free and relaxed, I mean if there’s anything I would hate is being in a room full of uncomfortable people who feel unsure, anxious and worse like walking out because they don’t trust the situation, but creating an atmosphere where they can relax and be free will make us all look forward to the meeting.

Learning From Life

Learning to see the whole together as we engage to learn personal mastery. The fact that we are shaped by the quality of our thinking made me realise that we are all going through different situations and they are changing our lives. I look forward to the team facilitations because I learn a lot and it helps me grow and see things differently. The topics are well researched and well presented.

A small thing can change your life so you need to be open minded and learn from what you do not know. Facilitation improves self management and it develops effective group participation and communication.

By ensuring that you do what you say and say what you mean makes me wanna receive feedback as an opportunity for growth. We all are a work in progress so I need to show up and be present.

I learnt that telling the truth, no blame no judgment helps us to create an environment where it is safe for all to express and tell the truth.

Principles Of Engagement

Seek to understand rather than being right. This hit home for me as I need to step out of my comfort zone and care from an objective place. I am surprised everyday by the level of information that I receive which is helping me see people and myself afresh. Margaret Wheatley said it well when she said you must trust that meaningful conversations can change your world.

The principles of detachment and the law of two feet made me realise that everything happens for a reason so I must step onto the balcony to see the bigger picture and reflect on my experience . There is a time to talk and a time to walk.

Happiness comes as a result of being in our natural state of growth and living up to our fullest potential.

Personal Impact

Tjoe!!! What an intense week? D and I did our facilitation presentation on Saturday, we are so relieved that it’s over and done with. We got great feedback, both positive and negative deltas. We really learned a lot from just facilitating that one exercise. We learned that everything matters, the room setup, our coordination and appearance. We have also learned that the participants may not necessarily respond in the way we anticipate them to. Most importantly I learned a lot from D, she was absolutely amazing and handled her part like a pro, very effortless and with ease. We were able to trust one another and depend on each other’s ability to deliver, we showed up for one another and for the rest of the class.

I have learned a lot about my own learning style, turns out I am a Right brained, Visual Kinaesthetic, Big picture Initiator who has Internal motivation. I found this important to know because i can be conscious about how I learn as well as how others teach and learn. The information sorting preferences have also been an eye opener, for the first time I have learned that people learn through Visual, Kinaesthetic and Auditory input. I can’t help but think about my kids. What learning styles and inputs do they have? I most certainly have to pay attention to them and learn. This will help me better help them with their learning, I will know what the most efficient,effective and practical methods are to apply.

David Kolb’s model on Experiential learning has also provided me with a different perspective on learning, he says I have a store of knowledge and experience that I can bring to any learning situation. If faced with a Abstract conceptual challenge I should try breaking down the concrete experience first. In this way I can place myself in the shoes of the academic literature.

What happened to you? Ask the 5 Why’s…Systems thinking is very deep and I need to master it considering it is very relevant in my line of work as an aviation safety specialist. I investigate safety event for the purpose of ensuring there is no repeat. This way of thinking helps because it allows me to stand on the balcony and see the patterns instead of walking in the forest seeing events.

Personal Impact

Presentation by Matthews and Dimakatso was extremely good. These presentations seem to be getting better by the week as we learn from each one. Having 3 exercises was not a good idea as the group could not relate with the same critique. It did however teach us the 3 levels of consciousness ie. conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious.

People look at the same thing but see different things. Role play between the teams was great. I learnt as a facilitator you dont have to agree with comments but you can acknowledge. We discussed the 3 dimensional thinking patterns and the different modalities. Respect must be given to all types of people with different modalities. We should teach by all 3 types and not in our modality. The exercise on the left and right brain indicated clearly what our learning styles were ie. Operator, Investigator, Theorist or Initiator. Howard Gardner’s theory on multiple intelligence spelt it out quite well in terms of our learning.

It was interesting to learn how we had to take a concrete experience, reflect on it, then work towards a theory and then act on it. This fell into place quite smoothly. Choose to be a leader and not arrogant. Always use patterns and not events to get your message across. Look forward to solve problems so people come back to you for more. Most of all be kind it does not cost a thing.

Personal Impact

The check in was hilarious. Everyone shared their first time driving experience and some stories sounded so unreal 🤣😂🤣 

Matthews and Dimakatso’s presentation: 

Learning from life – How the three levels of consciousness shape our reality. 

I found the topic to be really broad and the team broke it down quite pleasantly. Consciousness as a state of awareness is difficult to define. A big hi five 👋🏽 to them!!! 

They discussed the 3 Levels of awareness in the human mind. Their research was so impactful. It was great to learn how much of our mental activity we actually use weather we are aware of it or not. 

Conscious = 10% 

Subconscious = 50-60% 

Unconscious = 40% this is how often we use those three levels of consciousness. 

My wow moment was realizing just how I slowly and unconsciously develop or create habits without realizing it. I want to challenge myself to continue to evolve and transcend myself by becoming more aware. Most people don’t understand how the subconscious mind works and therefore never really learn how to break old conditioning and install new habits.

On the other hand it was interesting to discover one’s learning style and evaluating the results of the thinking style preferences questionnaire. Having to effectively apply the unique types of thinking and learning to their appropriate situations, this will help unlock my fullest potential and build up my self-esteem. 

We have knowledge of what is underneath but our real selves are obscured by what others think of us. This class really challenges me to stay aware 🔎 and exercise my ability to think critically. 

Don’t remain stagnant 🔛🔝


It was a Saturday morning when I walked into a classroom that was new to me. I saw familiar faces, the lecturer was a new face. It felt like she could see how anxious I was, as soon as she saw me she smiled and asked me to take a seat. I was slightly at ease but the anxiety of the unknown was still there. I expected a class that was going to be very technical, full of strict rules and lots of study material. I wasn’t sure if I was going to cope with a cold, strict and over structured classroom environment. I was anxious. But it didn’t take long for my anxiety to fade. Our lecturer Rosslyn conducted a life changing experience for me. She provided a safe space that allowed us to share our stories without fear. None of us prepared ourselves for what was going to happen. None of us knew that we’d have to share our life stories and experiences with people we barely know. But the session continued, flowing smoothly and each person willing to open up to the group. I found myself sharing my life story without fear of being judged. The session created such a strong bond amongst classmates, we connected, we became friends and we trusted each other. I’m grateful for this experience. My first facilitation skills class was a life changing experience. I now look forward to my Saturday classes.

Thinking Styles

It’s amazing how we discover how we thing or even recognize how we process in information. You get to understand yourself and other people in terms of how better interactions can be created. It just came to mind that also when you discover your thinking and learning style that your mind must be present taking consideration that we are different.

Imagine what more we could achieve in our learning space/ academics if the education system catered for all student needs based on how they learn.

I have made a discussion to understand, be patient and also be tactful when dealing with others in a world that has changed the values of Ubuntu.

Learning from life

It hurts me to say this, but I did not attend class this week 🙁 My uncle (my mums’ brother) who is like a second dad to me………well… he had a heart attack and we had to drive down to KZN and see him. He is 53-years-old. He was admitted to Ghandi’s hospital which is a public hospital.

If I had to say what lesson I have learnt from this incident, it is that no matter what happens to you financially, medical aid is vital.  You don’t want to go to a government hospital. My uncle must wait to have an operation done and I pray and hope that he will be OK. I am sure that this week’s facilitation class was great!!!

Week 2 Principles of engagement

It’s funny isn’t it that one seems to come across things in life that you know and have digested but never really started to implement them in your life. Life will deal you cards you know you need but are just afraid to pull out and deal with on your own, its like a slap in the face with perfect timing and just the right impact needed. A reality check of some sort.

Facilitation is amazing, for me more than anything it’s simply a combination of life lessons, lessons which can work in all areas of life. In a nutshell last week for me was all about not forcing situations. Letting things be as they are and ensuring that in the process you are also okay.

The two feet law resonated the most with me but in reverse; as much as you feel you have nothing more to give you walk away, for me you should walk away if it no longer serves you. Thing is more often than not we lock ourselves in situations that just don’t grow us and only because of comfort we stay.

We always just want to squeeze out the last drop even though there is nothing else that will come out. Just walk away, don’t force it, don’t try to change it, it is what it was meant to be. So in a nutshell we are all facilitators, we teach and facilitate change even though we really not aware of it so one needs to be aware of that

Week 4: Personal Impact and Learning from life.

Today’s blog is going to combine the information learnt in the course pack with the class facilitation topic: Learning from Life, because I really thing that the two will be easier to discuss this way.

Some lessons are achieved through experiences however through curiosity and a desire for self-awareness and personal growth, there are some experiences that you don’t need to wait for age to become aware of what is meaningful and worthwhile. In order to make an impact in life and to be able to combine your outer (form) and inner (substance) self, you will need to make an impact. As a facilitator in training, it is our aim to help others see and hear themselves, and others, more clearly, but in order to do this, the quality spiral will have to come into play. We will need to analyse the quality of out thoughts, our communication honesty, our integrity and our actions. We will need to be able to analyse situations quickly so that we can have a sum total of what we think, feel, understand and do. The same goes for the facilitated group.

Life is wasted on so much worry, regret, pain and heartbreak. Many people take these cases as a chance to give up, but for me, it is a chance to learn. I went through a breakup in February last year, and although we never ended the relationship in a fight, I was broken. He was my first love and we had been together for 3 years. Over the past year I have battled with depression, increased obsessive thoughts and a large amount of anxiety, but I have used my pain and my heartbreak to grow and to create a independent woman who is happier that the person she was in the past. I have been learning from life. I have become more respectful of things, more responsible and more disciplined. I have extroverted myself more and I am capable of expressing my opinion to people without the fear of rejection. In this way I have built relationships with others and really formed connections. I have transformed my personality to build trust and I understand the need for detachment. I have become better.

My break up killed a part inside of me that I have had to spend months and months to fix and grow. I now have an understanding of LOVE and I no longer despise the word, the feeling and the emotion. I know know that love is the answer and is why we are here. It is the force for food in this often random, painful and harsh world. It is a four letter word that has infinite power. I know now how to love myself, love my family and love my friends. I know now that it is not of extreme importance to only receive love from a significant other. I know that love is found in more than just that one individual.

Principles of Engagement

Yoh yoh yoh! Where to start….These things are deep man🤷🏽‍♀️

Check in…I can’t remember 😃😃😃honest I can’t it’s because everything’ elde was so profound check in just slipped my mind tlheng🤷🏽‍♀️

Speed Networking! Das was up!!!! Cool new concept that Noma and Melissa introduced us to. I loved hearing the things that everyone does on the regular; the world is big and it just reminded me that we all have our place in this beautiful planet. The benefits I took away from speed networking is the interaction you are forced to have with everyone at that particular time. It also surves as a sift and you can just take what you need plus what you don’t need you keep for later use or referrals for other people.

Heyi! The principles of detachment geh, yoh that is what had been on mind because those principles and the law spoke to my spirit. I kept saying” Lord can this not be one of those things I learn and not take into practice”. They have such a light feel to them, something about them makes me feel life could be simpler and easier to deal with. The cycle if hurt just also put things into perspective, especially with conflict management and how not to stay I the cycle. I was in loved in a car accident this week and really I decided to practice these principles and it was so much easier! It is what was meant to happen at that time, the time was right for it to happen and now it’s done! I still need to arrange and sort everything out but it’s ok I’m not too panicked because things will work out😊

Detachment– caring deeply from an objective place ( wowza!!) it ties in perfectly with the law of two feet 🚶🏾‍♀️DJ Walker!!!!

My Order of the Architypes of Facilitators:




Warrior- My gran!!

Principles of Engagement

Principles of Engagement

Class was very interesting with a great presentation by Noma and Melissa on Building Relationships. We learnt lots on speed marketing and networking, its advantages and disadvantages.

The facilitation went quite well and it was very interactive. Angeles Arrien’s book on the The Four Fold Way ie. the Four major principles was very innovative. We took away from it that you had to incorporate all these principles, you had to a warrior, visionary, healer and the teacher. This would complete you as the facilitator.

We must also note that all voices are important and body language says a lot. Take care of yourself and the others will take care of themselves. We should not judge anybody and must always be mindful of what we say. Margaret Wheatley’s book A Simpler Way reflected on the cycle of hurt. We should be open hearted, objective and detach. Detach does not mean not to care.

It was a very busy and hectic day for me, after class I had to attend the funeral of a close family friend. A sad day indeed to say farewell… dropped my reading glasses in the grass parking lot. Thought it was a goner until I went on Tuesday and found in intact at the exact same spot. What an amazing feeling of gratefulness. I feel humbled and blessed by these simple little happenings in my life.

communicating via social media

honestly i could just hug the person who discovered this method of communicating. i mean imagine how difficult it would be for us to get to the other side of the world without physically being there.

I must say i for one find it extremely convenient, depending on what you use social media for of course, i am able to do research on social media, share my thought/opinions and get the worlds view on the same or other topics, i mean what is there not to be greatful for?

however, i find that it has also become a very dangerous place, predators are just as active as gullible individuals and people have lost a lot of valuable things through social media. so really i do appreciate it, but i dont explore it to its fullest, thats just to be safe really, nothing extreme.


After last Saturday’s class I had a bit of a challenge in my political engagements when I had to address community members. The Principle to say “I” came as a bit of a challenge as in politics it is incorrect to speak for self but for the organization and the people at large.
The principle to Suspend Judgement was of importance to me as people tend to judge on face value and learning about this opened my mind to new ways of looking at situations and people.

I realized that it is going to take a lot for one to learn to use some of Margaret Whitley’s principles of engagement. More practice in my daily life will help enhance this ability.


The four principles of detachment are very important to apply in life. I learned to apply that on Wednesday where we were having a meeting the leader of our organization CIC Julius Malema at Braamfischer Soweto. Now this meeting was only Sub-Region B and C branch leadership. It was held in Region C and from my region B it is very far to Braamfischer during peak hour traffic with load shedding and having to pick up other branch members along the way. So I had about 5 other branches to collect members from others are from work being delayed and the transport I had to book long to arrive to pick me up first. Even though I enjoy very much when things are high tempo and on crisis mode. I get so much excitement in going up and down solving pressing matters. The transport guy was supposed to pick me up at 16:00 but he arrived at 17:15 and we had to at meeting by 18:00. During this crisis mode I had to apply the 4 principles of detachment.
We arrived at our meeting at 19:00 fortunate enough the CIC was also delayed in another meeting in Alex due to load shedding, I managed the situation calmly and excepted that when it starts its the right time. The meeting eventually started around 19:30 after the arrival of leadership.


One the meeting started I applied this principle. At our meetings what usually happens was that branch leadership will have to give report back to the structures above but what I did was ask a member who was not in leadership position to give feedback about our branch so that he can learn and I would do the closing remarks. this was something unusual especial if the leadership is present at the meeting. So I let a member dance on the floor while a stepped onto the balcony and returned later to the dance floor.

These are some of my experiences this week and I will also try to apply these principles in my entertainment work life and personal life.

Nathi Ndlovu

Principles of engagement

I feel transformed. I feel empowered. I feel challenged.

After learning about the principles of detachment i feel transformed and zoned into acceptance. I now know that there is no point worrying about things that could have, would have and should have been. I have to Accept what I don’t have control over and change what I can. All things happen when, how and at the way they were supposed to….yes my grammar is intentional. The law of 2 feet has put a lot of things into perspective for me. There are certain aspects of my life, both personal and professional that require me to apply that law. As of today I am taking my 2 feet and moving right along.

My empowerment comes from Angeles Arrien’s book, The Four-Fold Way. The Archetypes of the Warrior, Visionary, Healer and Teacher have made me really introspect honestly for the first time in my life. I can finally say that I am a leader, I always show up. I need to improve my communication tact so that I not only speak the truth but my word must not have any blame nor judgement. I Aspire to be collaborative, I want to listen with deep care so that I respond effectively and with deep impact. Lastly I want to be a transformer…lol!!! Not the car but rather a teacher. I want to impart my knowledge unto others, especially those close to me. I believe if everyone is conscious about themselves and deliberate in their actions the world would be a much better place.

The cycle of hurt is another fantastic revelation that has left me challenged…I am challenged to not find myself in a cycle of hurt. This would mean I have to forgive much quicker and easier, resolve my disputes effectively and efficiently as well as put my pride aside and ask for forgiveness where I have wronged.

Principles of engagement

I have had a tough week last week having to deal with my rebellious adopted teenage son. He has been suspended from his boarding school house for fighting with his school mate over juvenile gossip.

In addressing the matter with him and trying to establish the facts of what happened, I learned that he was very troubled. He had come across the court order granting us legal adoption of him and became very worried because of a prescription in the order that said our legal guardianship is up until his 18th birthday. He understood this to be that he no longer becomes our child when he turns 18 and that we will disown him and kick him out of the house.

Instead of shouting him and questioning him as to why he read the documents, I decided to apply the principles of engagement that I learned in my facilitation skills class. I applied the two archetypes from Angeles Arrien’s Four Fold Way book, namely the Healer and the Visionary. I decided to sit my son down and listen to what he was saying, I paid attention to his body language, his tone of voice and his choice of words all the while formulating my responses in my head. I knew that my responses to him have to be comforting, reassuring and most importantly honest. I made sure that he felt comfortable to speak and tell me what was really troubling him.

When he was done talking I was very honest with him. I told him the truth around his adoption and facilitated his understanding of maturity and the transition from being a child to an adult. I explained to him the context of the court order and explained to him that it means from the age of 18 he becomes accountable for his life. He would now have transitioned from being a child to being an adult although he would still remain my child up until death and beyond. I showed him practical examples of the legal age from when people can start engaging in adult things such as sex, smoking, drinking and simple legal document signing. I showed him that all these things, according to the South African law, start from the age of 18. Therefore the court order was merely reiterating and reinforcing the law so that we don’t prevent him from excercising his basic huma right when he turns 18. The truth is, he already knew most of the stuff, he just didn’t understand it. Instead of speaking and teaching him the whole time, I asked him questions and showed him cigarette and beer packs to illustrate my point. I even went to the extent of using our faithful friend, Google, to show him what the SA law prescribes a child and an adult to be.

After our conversation he seemed very satisfied, and appeared to be more understanding and content with what I have shared and explained to him.

Principles Of Engagement

Wow!!! What a way to learn.

I really enjoyed this class it was very empowering. I found myself super encouraged and excited to apply these lessons to my daily life.

Melissa and Noma’s presentation: 

Building relationships 

I found the exercise of the speed marketing session, fast – paced and uncomfortable 😬felt like I was in a rocket 💥🚀 about to blast off. 

I’m logical and like detailed information. I take my time to understand and digest information. I’m able to learn and absorb more information by discussing a single topic at a time. During fast-paced Speed Marketing sessions I found it difficult to utilize the information I received or develop relationships of trust with the people I interacted with. 

At the end of the exercise I found myself with great anxiety and heart perpetrations. However I like my willingness to participate – after all there’s no fire in comfort zone. 

I understood that one had to set strategic goals when participating in this kind of marketing relations. Set objectives that are realistic and measurable in order to achieve better communication, to listen with understanding and build more personal relationships. 

It’s amazing how you think you know someone yet there are real stories behind the face. 

The peak of the class for me was The Four-Fold Way as it demonstrated respect for all things and how you can empower others through personal mastery. I’m always gobsmacked at the end of each class and realize just how much work I still need to do with regards to self-growth. If we are serious about our own personal growth, we should also be serious about the concept of learning for life.

Live to learn xx

Week 3: Principles of Engagement

In order to handle any situation, we need to understand it’s conditions. We need to understand the manner in which the participants of the situation are keeping a hold of their ‘side of the story’.

To be engaged means to be ‘a part of…’, to be able to understand and interact with others, to be able to engage in tasks. We as facilitators need to be able to hold a conversation and to be able to guide it to an outcome that will leave the group with wore effective working relationships and a stronger personal relationship. In doing this, the course pack has suggested that we be many things.

  1. Sincere
  2. Mindful
  3. Open-minded
  4. Empathetic
  5. Open-hearted
  6. Grateful
  7. Accepting
  8. Curious

I have been told by many people that I have met and encounter in my life time that I have most (sometimes even all) of these qualities, and it makes me slightly giddy because it means that I could potentially be a great facilitator. Even though I have this amazing feeling inside me, the skepticism has emerged and I am having doubts. I believe that I can be all seven of these qualities, but I know, that it depends on the interaction I would have previously had with this person or these people.

I come from a family with one very unstable and risky drug addict. My uncle has been an addict since he was 17 and so I have only ever known him as a user. He has been in and out of rehabs, had so many treatments, has had so much help from the family. But he stole my grandmothers wedding ring from me (which I was given for my 21st birthday) so that he can sell it for drugs and it was this, that pushed me over the edge from where I had been standing for a long time. When he overdosed a few weeks later, and I was him in a coma in the ICU, I had no empathetic bone in my body, I was not sincere and definitely not accepting. It is so horrible to say, but I was at a point where I thought it would be better for everyone, including himself, for him to just slip away… no longer live… no longer damage the lives of his loved ones. I walked away and out of the hospital and I have never seen him since. My fear is that if I were to facilitate a group that included drug addicts, that I will not be able to practically consider them. I would be full of judgment and anger. I would not be able to keep an open-mind or an open-heart. I will not be able to accept those people for who they are or what they have done to themselves, to their friends and family. I would be the fave of judgment.

Building Relationships

Speed Networking…wow a great topic for facilitation this week. I learnt a lot and will be applying this to my field of collaborating with different parts of the business here at Johnson and Johnson.

We have recently moved into our new premises in Midrand which means we need to collaborate with other parts of the business. One of the key objectives for moving an joining our colleagues is to network and collaborate. I will use some of the tips for instance, I will choose my introduction as I see fit and tell them what I want them to hear. Speed networking is designed to accelerate business contacts through facilitated introductions and conversations – at speed, I don’t think I will really speed up this process, but I will definitely use some of the techniques introduced.

Week 2

Okay look.

The Check in progress is still very new to me. I genuinely look forward to it as I’ve come to understand the importance of getting an idea and feel of the tone in the room to create an environment for productive engagement and meaningful conversations. You can’t be in this class and find yourself grasping at nothing but air. 

I found the check in progress so profound this time around. It’s insane how we haven’t been in the facilitation’s class for long and already one can start making small positive adjustments to intentionally implement changes one would like to see manifest in their lives. Since attending the facilitation’s class I set daily goals to challenge myself. I had started allocating time towards things I need to get done. It’s deliberate and works wonders!!!

Presentation: Communicating via Social Media 

This class is paying a major part in my future I found myself being challenged – shows just how narrow minded I’ve been. I’ve always found some way to criticize and dwell on nothing but the disadvantages of Social Media. It’s crazy right 😬

There’s numerous advantages such as sharing information, worldwide connectivity, grow businesses etc it is obvious that more and more people are going to grasp its benefits. 

We’re living in the digital age and yess I’m not active on any social media platforms but what stood out most about Loyiso and Frank’s presentation was how Social media can easily ruin someone’s reputation by creating offensive content that can easy go viral and negativity affect their life, loved ones and the society in a drastic way. 

One needs to be sincere and mindful of others at all times. 

Always be kind ♡

Week 3: Building relationships

I missed today’s class which is super unfortunate because I have been discussing this topic with my psychologist. Relationships are important to health, happiness and success. So,something that I am trying to come to terms with is when to build and when to break a relationship.

The most important part of building a relationship is communication. Being able to converse with the other party or parties is essential because it builds a connection. The communication doesn’t necessary mean we need to be verbal. I have an extremely close relationship with my little brother. He is 7 years old and will tell me anything. Secrets that he doesn’t want mom or dad to know. I am his confidant. But sometimes we don’t even need to talk to send a ‘love you signal’. We could be sitting at a restaurant table on the opposite ends of each other and just one small gesture can make an entire conversation. A wink.

When communicating to a new person in our life, and building up that base for a relationship, we focus on being polite, sometimes humorous and empathetic. What I find difficult is that this changes as the relationship builds and we become more comfortable in the presence of the other. The politeness could dissapear and certain things will weaken our empathetic spot. In some cases, the ‘like’ that originally formed whilst building the relationship crashes with the realisation of the character that the person kept so well hidden.

Last week’s experience

What I learnt last week was that every living being is shaped by life. Things may be done the traditional way but if it doesn’t make sense to you, find the best way to make your life easier.

I also learnt that I need to receive feedback as an opportunity for growth rather than being defensive. I need to stay flexible, need to learn more. People see things differently.

Week 2…….

Its been a hectic week and now I must reflect on last weeks facilitation class. To be honest I was a bit nervy about the class as I didn’t know what to expect especially with the first duo who had to facilitate. I was feeling a bit sorry for them as the first students to start off the facilitations. However they did well and made it look easy for the rest of us. Personally last week’s class was wonderful especially with the short stories that we did for homework. I am looking forward to the next class and excited as always…


Missing facilitation skills class is bad.

Hi friends
On 9 March 2019, i could not attend class because i had to work on that day. I felt so bad for not attending my facilitation skills class because i think i lost. I felt that if i was in class i will contribute more by giving attention to what the lecture could have prepared. I love this class, we are not taught but rather given facilitation skills. I wish not to miss any chance anymore though i know my kind of work is unpredictable.

Week 2

The anticipation of the first facilitation skills presentation was killing me ….I was just happy it wasn’t me. This made me realise my shaky confidence levels …(wip I guess) . The presentation went exceptionally well, it was precise and engaging. The class participation was great, after all we had no idea what to expect. The feedback after the presentation, I guess I was fine with the positive bit but wasn’t so open to the class giving negative feedback. I was like, what do they know to critic these guys? Again another red flag for my confidence “situation” fear of negative feedback in my own personal space. I had to throw in some negative feedback, I kept thinking please let them take it in good faith, well I had no idea what I was basing my so called feedback on. I found the session where we all had to give a definition of facilitation quite interesting, we all had somewhat different definitions. The same applies with so many things in life, same circumstance yet different experiences. It was good there was a lecture to opine or else I might have thought I missed the boat of what facilitation is. My definition was something to the effect of “Facilitation is a process of learning from each other through the sharing of experience”. I would not have said this a few weeks back before attending this course. At the end of the lesson I really enjoyed the feedback session to Ros.. oh and before I go into more detail I need to note how I have noticed a significant shift in the way I am rather comfortable speaking in front of other people. The feedback session was very helpful, I usually don’t take time after any session to reflect on the experience. My positive feedback- was how much Ros is helping to cultivate my confidence, i noticed her positive and encouraging body language. She nods in agreement, she listen without interrupting, she doesn’t shake her head if she is not agreeing, feedback to incorrect information is given in such a way that is building on the students’ knowledge and content without making one feel stupid (to which she said it might be her intention) So I noted to myself that to set an intention for your actions is helpful, it helps direct not only your words but body language. Looking forward to next lesson, I believe after the second presentation I shed away the nervousness about my own presentation, to which I am still struggling to find suitable content. One other thing that Ros mentioned and resonated with me is how you are not supposed to call out the people who are not actively participating since we all wired differently and it doesn’t mean they don’t have an opinion. Previously and I guess for most part of my life I was the quite one during discussions particularly in a group setup however it didn’t mean I had no opinion.. It is bit complex for me to even unpack why I did it, in short I preferred not to be noticed. In contrary to what I had set out to achieve in the next few years.. to be seen and heard. But most importantly to be understood, the only way to be understood it is if i participate in conversations for others to know my views through engaging dialog. It is still nerve wracking …. But I believe I am making progress.. The part of the class I didn’t care much about was the checking in process. It asks for somewhat personal questions which I am not keen to discuss or else the class will think I am always in a negative funk.. the past few weeks have been emotionally draining…

Week 2

Class was good, we checked in with anything new we did in the week or improved on something we usually do. For me …nothing!! My week was pretty much the usual;work, kids, gym, school🤷🏽😞plus I had a congress so I was a bit tired

What a lovely Facilitation piece by Loyiso and Frank. Their topic was Social Media and i really felt they did a great job in getting different views accross by making sure it was an interactive session and they managed to lead the conversation without coming across as “teaching”or “instructing” so five 5 to them 🖑🏽.

The reviews of the stories was a great way to differenriate between the facilitators in the different stories. It also clarified what facilitatorship is all about and we all had different yet similar definitions of what facilitation is. We also went through the different ways of presenting i.e. training, teaching, gardening and the likes

I always feel like this course is filled with life lessons, how to listen, to have empathy, to look at life in a different way to what I am accustomed to. It feels like just what I need and feels so right

Lets see what week 3 has in store for us…

Cheers bye 😉


Sitting in class and wondering what is this all about….why are we getting to know eachother on a personal level. Realizing later on that this is a unique class…Rather unorthodox but truly different to what I think it should be. Rather curious about what will unravel in the next few weeks. Facilitation….can this really be taught? I don’t think so…

23 February class

Class 2

Walked into class when “check-ins” were being related. We discussed what we could have done differently in the week and how it made a huge impact. There was an interesting presentation on Social Media. The team researched and presented very well. Engaging the class and being interative made it very exciting and informative. This presentation made us learn what to do and what not to do going forward. There is no wrong or right about how we facilitate and it has various meaning/interpretations. A good example was the difference between, Facilitation, Training, Lecturing, Teaching and Gardening. We learnt to understand our role as a facilitator and how we should remain neutral. Very important point to note was to own your truth and have substance. As facilitators we should also take care of the quiet voices and moderate the loud frequent voices. Everyone should be given an opportunity to be heard.

After class, I went to the temple and did my prayer, then off to the shops. Did a little shopping and got back home. Relaxed a bit, my niece called and invited me over for a braai. Joined them and chilled, it was quite enjoyable socialising. Got back home around 10pm… it was a long and interesting day!

Etheopian 302 (ETH302)

“Etheopian 302 on frequency?…Etheopian 302? Etheopian 302 come in!!! Etheopian 302 this is Air traffic control how do you read?”

The deafening silence on the other side is chilling, I can feel my stomach cringe, my throat itchy, my mouth dry and hot flushes everywhere. My heart starts to beat faster and faster. I see but I don’t see, all I want is a response that says… “Air traffic control this is Etheopian 302 go ahead.” I listen and I wait. The only thing I hear is deafening silence. Even all the other aircraft on my frequency have gone quiet. They are maintaining radio silence, they can hear the quiver in my voice.

My hands start to shake uncontrollably, while my palms are sweaty. I take another look at my radar screen and realize that I am one aircraft short. I make one last desperate transmission… “Etheopian 302 negative radar contact, if you can read this transmission squawk IDENT”. My head is spinning, everything feels like a very bad dream as I try to make sense of what is going on. I loook around for help but my colleagues are just as shocked. My supervisor comes to stand next to me and puts his hands on my shoulder. It then dawns on me that Etheopian 302 is no more.

As an Air traffic controller I know exactly how my colleagues at Addis Ababa control Centre felt on the 10th March 2019 at approximately 05:44am GMT when A Boeing 737 Max 8 carrying 157 passengers crashed shortly after take of from Addis Ababa for a scheduled flight to Nairobi. I empathize with them, I feel their pain, I hear their thoughts, I see their confusion, I share their distraught.

The shift is not complete. One less bird came down safely. One less bird that will never fly again. 157 people that we were responsible for, are no more.

I can’t help thinking about my flight from Durban to Johannesburg on Thursday, I flew in a Boeing 737 Max 8. The only one that is operational in SA. I keep thinking, what if? Could it be? Will it? When and how?

My heart goes to my fellow Air traffic control colleagues in Addis Ababa and Nairobi as well as all the families, friends and colleagues of those 157 souls that have lost their lives.

“Etheopian 302, you may have disappeared from our radar screens but you will never disappear from our hearts and memories. You may have maintained a permanent radio silence but we will never stop calling your callsign, ETH302.”

Social Media

I am really enjoying the facilitation skills class. On Saturday we had the opportunity to observe Frank and Loyiso facilitate the first topic. They did an amazing job at it. Well organized and executed. For many of us that are yet to do it, their session helps us to relax because we have learned a lot from watching.

I have learned that when facilitating, I have to know when to be the facilitator and when to be the participant. The roles must never get mixed up. As a facilitator I should not show which side I am on nor give my opinion. My job is to create an environment where people can contribute their ideas to the topic. People should be allowed to speak and share their opinions openly. PS!!! Check ins are important before starting a session.

I understand the difference between Learning, coaching, teaching, mentoring, facilitating, lecturing and gardening😁. It is so easy to thing that they are the same but they actually not.

Week 2 – Social Media

Okay, so I know we only need to do one blog post a week, but I think it would be unfair to have the facilitating pair go unnoticed. So, firstly, well done Loyiso and Franck! It must have been nerve wracking to go first, but you have set the bar high.

We were asked 5 big questions (I think):

  1. What is Social Media?
  2. Is WhatsApp considered Social media?
  3. Is social media important?
  4. How reliant are we on the information that social media gives?
  5. Why do we “share” things on social media?

and here are my answers, feel free to agree or challenge me!

1. WHAT IS SOCIAL MEDIA? – Websites and apps which allow users to create/share stuff. – Allows for online participation. – A tool for revenue and employment. – Eliminates geographical restrictions. – Facilitates the sharing of ideas and thoughts.

2. IS WHATSAPP CONSIDERED SOCIAL MEDIA? – Okay, so in class I was adamant that it was, but I’m a good listener and I understood the views of others and hereby retract my statement. No, WhatsApp is not social media but is rather considered a communication app.

3. IS SOCIAL MEDIA IMPORTANT? – In this day and age, yes, social media is extremely important.

Firstly, it is a way to eliminate geographical restrictions. My family originates from Northern Ireland and many of the older members prefer to communicate via Facebook. I have albums on Facebook and memorable pictures on Instagram which I want to share with my friends and family without giving them access to my Google Drive or Dropbox.

Secondly, social media forms an essential part of business marketing strategies. Almost every individual is, in some way, linked to some social media account and is active, potentially, every day. Businesses use social media websites and applications to advertise and promote their products.

Third, Fourth and Fifth… When your friends don’t reply to your text, you can greet them on Facebook. When you want to listen to music or see a music video from your favorite singer – go to YouTube. When you wake up, you don’t have to walk outside to get the newspaper, just take your phone and scroll your Twitter timeline then you’ll get the information

4. HOW RELIANT ARE WE ON THE INFORMATION THAT SOCIAL MEDIA GIVES? – In one word… very. Social media is a big part of our lives. I don’t think this needs much explanation and I’d be curious if anyone disagrees with me.

5. WHY DO WE “SHARE” THINGS ON SOCIAL MEDIA? – To bring valuable/entertaining content to others. – To get and stay connected to others. – To me, sharing is a form of “social currency” to help strengthen our self-image and self-esteem. Sharing a funny joke makes us look funnier, knowing what is happening in society makes us look cool or talking about new scientific discovery make us look more intelligent. We share things on social media so that we can shape the impression people form about us. People prefer sharing things that make them seem entertaining rather than boring, clever rather than dumb, and hip rather than dull. Individuals share so that they can ultimately gain positive feedback and therefore heighten their own perspective of self worth.

Week 2 – Facilitator as instrument of change

Roslyn said something great in class today…


8 words was all it took to confuse me even more. I have to admit, that when someone asks me, “What is Facilitation?”, I still cannot answer them. It has been 3 weeks of class and 2 weeks of blogging and I have spent hours doing research about what facilitation is and I’m still short of an answer. Currently, I’m sitting with the idea that facilitation is “a process that enables individuals and groups to improve the way they manage themselves, others and processes” (pg 50 – course pack), but I don’t like this. This is a generic definition that kids will write down in their books and parrot learn. Facilitation involves a large focus on group collaboration and participation, neither term forms part of the “supposed” definition. So, I stand firm in my statement that I do not like the definition of Facilitation and I think we need to find a new one.

Against All Odds

A lot has changed in the past years. The last time I was in class was in 2001. The thought of going back to school after such a long time got me all excited and nervous.

The teaching methods and learning environment has changed, technology is advanced. I am not good at public speaking nor talking in front of a crowd so doing Facilitation Skills made me feel uneasy.

As Maya Angelou would say ” All great achievements reguire time” I am not letting my past define my future. I am purpose driven so i am willing to learn from every person and any experience.

South African culture the root of oppression of women

This week has been long and I’ve been hearing shocking stories about women being oppressed by their male partners while listening to the news. I’m trying to walk away from using the word abuse… anyway.

This type of oppression has become a norm in our society. I heard one man speaking with so much pride that when he hits his wife he is merely disciplining her… how is that normal. Why would a grown woman be disciplined? Is it control? Is it that when you look at her you see your subject? Is it because the Bible said she must be submissive to you? Or you read half the chapter in the Bible? It states that a “man must love his wife and she will submit to him.” Love is the foundation, Love her. That’s what the Bible says. She can’t submit to a man that doesn’t love her or treat her with respect.

My other point is how our culture groomed us. According to some cultures women must fulfill their duties in the kitchen. Women don’t have a voice. A woman with an opinion is seen as a disrespectful person who was raised with zero respect and laws. All these things are the reason why women oppression is growing so fast in this country. Lobola is used as an excuse to oppress our fellow women “we paid for her” they say as they continue to bruise her body and kill her soul. Financial power also gives them permission to violate women “without my money you wouldn’t have this lifestyle” they say… In my world, money will never equate to love. As women, we can make our own money, we’re hustlers and we allow nothing to bring us down.

I celebrate every woman and single mother that refused to stay under such conditions. I celebrate our strong women in this country. We are women, wonderfully and fearful created by God to be world shakers and movers. We love deeply and we’re extremely talented. Nothing will bring us down ✊🏾

I do not tolerate woman abuse… #notinmyname

Facilitation Skills

My first class was truly enjoyable and enlightening. Firstly the introduction to our Facilitators, their stories and my fellow classmates stories was an absolute inspiration. The class was comfortable and we felt that we were all in a good safe space to share and chat. Secondly, we were each paired with a class partner. The course was also outlined to us and what was expected of us in terms of submissions. Looking forward to the next one!

My exciting chellenging week

Wow its Friday, woke up at 09:00am after a Thursday that started at 6am with an hour an a half gym session at Rosebank Virgin Active. i usually don’t go to gym that early but i knew i couldn’t miss yesterday i just had to go.
I had a to keep in mind that i shall not be late for my meeting at 09:00am with CCA a music and visual content organization that i have a contract with to submit music through for it to be on digital platforms. While in that meeting I had to keep in mind that by 11:00 i had another meeting at the Sub Region B offices with the Councilor of the DA from ward 69 and it was very important as the issue was regarding water, a community of Slovo informal settlement hasn’t had water for over 3 months. this was coupled with other issues from projects and development but this a story for another day.
The good thing was that i managed to achieve my expected outcomes on both my meetings which meant i now had to go meet up with my mentor who i regard as my father to update him about my progress in life and a few manly questions i had for him….hahahahaha!!!
we had a good lunch meeting where i enjoyed my grilled fish and salad and he ate Pap and steak what he called military delicacy hehehehe, yes he was in the MK and he teaches me military tactics every time I’m with from intelligence to weapon use. Mmmmm thinking about it now maybe i should joint SA intelligence and be 007 spy HEE!!! The sad part after the good catch up we had was I had to pay the bill which it never used to happen and later he phoned me and said there was a lesson in that and till now I’m still trying to figure it out, hai angazi mina manje!!!

I payed and left with my confusion to my classmate’s place of work to collect her assignments that had to be submitted later at our English class. I knew it had to be done then even thou I was on the other side of town by then it had to be done as I had made a promise and I never break a promise. I collected the documents and proceeded with my eventful day. at about 16:30 I made my way to Wits to attend my English Thursday reading class.
new classroom in the chamber of mines building, nice thing about it is that its not hot but I fear winter shivers. We had a great class and as usual left with tons of homework less time for other things like work, family, politics and passionate exotic activities…HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Now its Friday and we must prepare for an exciting facilitation class tomorrow. I just hope those who were absent last week will show up tomorrow and that Telfer will stay at least till the end of the lesson, HEE! but most importantly I hope Frank has recovered from his 4hrs sore tooth, yes it was only painful during class as soon as class ended the guy invited us to a party and kept on telling us about he was the host and was looking forward to drinking… HAHAHAHAHA we see you Frank….
i wish everyone a safe day and looking forward to tomorrow Now going to read from page 34-48.

One Luv!
Nathi Ndlovu


Sitting here reflecting back 🙄 what I learned at the first facilitation skills lesson. Funny!!! I didn’t show up I was at work and stressing about not being in class 🤔💭

I had this constant anxiety and growling in my stomach that wouldn’t disappear. I had hoped that I didn’t miss much of anything but equally so I had premeditated that it would just be an introduction of some sort. You know those – hmmm my name is….. *yawn* but the anxiety wouldn’t go away. What made my stomach turn even more were flash backs of the previous weekend of me missing my flight to Durban to spend some time with loved ones.

Now on that Saturday I was hoping I don’t repeat the same mistake 😬 can you believe I used to ride on the fact that I’ve never missed a flight in my life. Oh man – Can’t claim that title anymore. 

I’ve always found it so amusing how some people suffer from a fear of missing out but little did I know that I have a small atom in some part of my body that has this crazy phobia. Message came through my phone from a group with peers I attend with at Wits 🙈 someone posted a video then followed by thank you messages from fellow peers. What could this be about?! I asked myself -but we’re not supposed to share anything else on the group besides school work. 

I’ve always been so reluctant to ask for help but pride aside I’m here to learn and grow. We have an ultimate goal to reach. 🥁🥁🥁

I watched the video about the dangers of a single story a few times to get the gist of it. Made me realize just how much one is still yet to learn and how much time I have wasted dedicating my time to things that have not contributed to growing me.

Fast forward to my first day in class – on a scale of one to ten. I was a guaranteed number four. Very anxious as I didn’t know what to accept – after watching that video 😫 I was expecting a test of some sort in the back of my mind.

Met a few new incredible people and learnt that to be part of a group you need not to dominate it by being able to always encourage others to voice out their opinion. I’ve came to understand group dynamics and the process of facilitation planning and execution. 

I’ve learnt just how important it is to exercise the ability to use one’s intellectual capacity to unlock your fullest potential. 

In class I was introduced to Blogging – it’s so new to me and never thought I’d find myself making use of any platform for blogging. Well here I am 😅 taking baby steps. I’m excited to be here and looking forward to learning as much as I can. 

La Toya xx

Week 1 Introduction!!

Sleep deprived and exhausted is the state I find myself in as I sit at my desk, it’s 08:37 and I can’t function. Zombie mode it is for today unless I drink Redbull which I have been avoiding because at some point it was becoming somewhat of an addiction which I then decided to supplement with coffee, lots and lots of coffee.

I figured that my body is trying to get used to recent events of student life which is definitely a foreign term to me. Last time I studied was 10 years ago. It’s definitely a new era, one that is filled with excitement and slight anxiety all at the same time. A plan is what will be my saving grace.

I must admit though that day 1 in Facilitation was extremely memorable, it set the tone for what is bound to be an enjoyable experience. The class started with the facilitator sharing her story which I am certain the key to everyone else feeling that it was a safe space and that it was okay to be vulnerable. By the time I left class that sat afternoon I had a lot of guilt in me, you see, everyone else opened up in a very deep way and I just felt like I gave them a slight insight into who Noma was. Truth is I was feeling so insecure and felt like my story had no significance to it. Though what gave me comfort while driving was understanding that we had plenty of time for them to get to know me throughout the semester. This experience opened my eyes in so many different ways, that no matter who we are, where we come from and the experiences we’ve had, we all have a choice about our future and how it turns out.

Moral of the story for me is understanding that we are not our past!! Always be open to learn and while you’re at it you too might teach someone something significant that might change their lives or how they view the world.


Hello 😊

The week that was….thoughts, lessons and feelings

Following our first class where gave each other some background on who we are and why we are in the same class I came to class feeling comfortable and relaxed even though i walked in class a few minutes late😒 but otherwise feeling good and looking forward to it. Im going to share about 3 things we discussed that stuck with me after the class:

  1. Checking In

A great tool to be in the present and drift away from the other realities, something i could use professionally(trainings, meetings) and personally ( when interacting with my kids, friends). I feel it can help one to always try to live in the moment so thumbs up🖒🏾

We checked in by reflecting on our thoughts on the video ” The danger of a single story ” by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. My take home from her video is that we always need to realise there is always more to a story than the first thing you hear or see and best thing you should do is research and be as well informed as you can before forming an opinion on anything. I think think once you learn how to do this you become a good listener

  1. Blogging

🙆🏽!!! Frank made it sound easy and doable. Always have the reader in mind, be authentic and practical and hopefully the readers find it easy to relate to and follow. Its really a first for me so I will take it one blog at a time .Retlabona( We shall see 👀)

  1. Facilitating

We discussed there are 2 ways of presenting

Experimental – where you give your audience and experience and then teach

Informative – where you mostly teach and then follow with the experience

One should always be prepared when facilitation from topic, to content, time and outcomes to ensure a good experience for the targeted audience. I feel the the experimental way of presenting works best especially with adults because its easier to remember and take in.

Next week we start with the facilitation group presentations 😲( Ayeye!) , a bit anxious but atleast im not first 😋.Looking forward to it

Cheers bye🤗


For some reason still unknown to me I still find it hard to believe some things that are happening around me, like really I find it difficult to come to terms with how people can be so cruel, insensitive and heartless towards the next human being.I wake up to a status update on my phone posted by one of my friends, one of a cruel murder committed by scholars against a fellow scholar. The clip gave me goose bumps and I literally felt sick, I ran out of words instantly and my only reaction to her update was oh my gosh!!!!

These things happen on a daily basis, but really, it blows my minds how these people go to sleep at night. A very close friend of mind decided to tell me about things he has been doing to other people, and unintentionally I uttered ”oh my gosh”, in my head; how can a person be so cruel. I have developed a fear and a level of anger towards humans in the past few weeks, I guess I blame it on everyone (including myself) that we live in such a society, but the question then is how am I going to fix it seeing that I still play? So an idea came up. I am going to write about these things, I want to go deep and not tell the five second stories we hear on the news. I want to go into the minds and souls (if possible) of these monsters (as I see them).

So challenge to self accepted!

Introduction Week 2

Our second class of facilitation skills, oh man oh man this is really exciting stuff. Last week we introduced ourselves in the most remarkable way, we shared our most intimate information with each other and got to really know each other.

Our lecturer or shall I call her our facilitator, really knows her stuff. A simple quote that she said “ the way we listen will determine the story we tell” I found was very powerful. It taught me that it is very important to listen when someon speaks, not to interrupt. One should allow people to express themselves through their words and emotions and while they doing that, we should listen.

We were given a task to listen to a Nigerian lady, Chimamanda Ndiche “the dangers of a single story”. We discussed our thoughts and “take homes” on our second class. My lessons from the speech was that we often get conditioned through life as a result of a one sided influence, experience, opinion or story. We tend to take a one sided story as the gospel truth or as the only truth. I have learned that I have to draw an opinion on something only after having received all the information possible. I should seek all 3 sides to a story, “his side, her side and the truth”.

I also learned the importance of checking in before starting any meeting or facilitation session, the importance and techniques. It allows people to settle in and get comfortable, establishes a rapport with everyone.

The last lesson I learned was how to plan for a facilitation session. I learned that the choice of topic, considering the audience, having the objectives, choice of material, setting and prep of environment, time management and having a clear outline of the session are very important. A facilitator must fulfill 2 things when facilitating, namely, Substance and Form.

Overall this is my message to you:

  1. The way you listen will determine the story you tell.
  2. The story you know might not be the real story and people’s reaction to you might be as a result of hearing only a single story about you.
  3. In everything you do make sure you have both, Substance and Form.

Till next time guys…


Hi!🙄 fellow class mate. My name is Nomalanga Mabokela, usually called “OusNoma”. I want to say something about what I learned today in a Facilitation class. But before that I want to confess that part of me was in class and another was on the other side of the university campus. But anyway God is great. What I learnt in class today starting with unpacking of our understanding on the clip by Chimamanda “The danger of a single story” amongst others I have learned that,

  • Telling a story should be two sided
  • That black used not to recognise their intelligence, capacity and skills thay had.

I learned that facilitation is not presenting nor addressing but facilitate. In facilitation there are planning steps to follow in order to make an outstanding facilitation and those steps are

  • Having a facilitation topic
  • Targat
  • Objective
  • The reason why the content and the theme.
  • Material need eg resources
  • Room Setup
  • lastly the agenda

In conclusion, I learned about being assessed by fellow students. My wish is that, what i was today must be known tomorrow.

Week 1 – What is your Story?

I’m a 1995 baby. A born-free white South African female. 24 years later, I find myself sitting in the WITS Plus Facilitation class as one of the youngest members, feeling anxious with the least life experiences and little worldly knowledge. I was shy, I was quiet. I was the introverted me.

At 1pm that day, I left that class feeling emotionally stronger. I was allowed into the personal lives and stories of complete strangers.
Everyone has a story to tell and I only told part of mine, because I was not comfortable enough to share more than what I did and, for this, I feel guilty. But comfort comes in time and I’m hoping that time is on my side in this situation.

Watching the YouTube clip, “A Single Story” was so special and inspirational. Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche is definitley one of the strongest individuals that I have come across. In her TedTalk, she said that the single story creates stereotypes, and that the problem with stereotypes is not that they are untrue, but they are incomplete. This statement struck me the most and was the turning point for me of the entire talk. It was the point when I realised how much judgement passes through my mind everyday. The only thing I can say about it, is that I’m sorry.

I wonder how much stereotyping took place when I never spoke up and waited until the very end to say some of My Story? I wonder what everyone thought about me after they heard what I had to say? I wonder what story they had made of me?