Seeing with new eyes – Walking a mile in their shoes

The day I had been dreading finally came, for one reason only, I don’t like public speaking. It was finally my group’s turn to facilitate. After weeks of trying to make sense of the topic,  put our own spin on it, some of those ended in arguments,  we finally thought we had something worth presenting to the rest of the class.

The journey of getting to that point was an eye opener for me in more ways than one. Everything that we learned through research about homelessness had me secretly admitting to my own prejudices. Listening to Nomonde share her personal experience about being on the street I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I was no different from the people that turned her away whenever she tried to use a decent bathroom. Ashamed that I too do not see the homeless even though they are everywhere.  Ashamed that when I do see them at the traffic light I make sure all my car doors are locked and windows closed. I do not stop to think that falling on hard times can happen to anyone. Even me.

“Empathy is about standing in someone’s shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place” Daniel H. Pink


29 Sep 18- Building Shared Understanding

Well done to the group that presented the “Building Shared Understanding”.

I quite enjoyed the interaction, the participation, and the creativity in all the class exercises. There were two ‘aha’ moments for me in the lesson that the class participated in, namely, the story of the elephant and, the ‘draw on an A3 page your idea of success’.

It was a marvelous experience and a fantastic lesson upon discovering the differences in each ones different perspective on what success is for them. Moreover, there was no right or wrong ideas, just personal perceptions and new discoveries of what each person brings out in their drawings.

The Johari Model… wow
Four quadrants that describes everybody.

Communication, perceptiveness, and people can grow a great deal by being aware of themselves, of options, and a willingness to take responsibility.
Beautiful and insightful, and yet so simple.

Learning from Life: Pain – the best teacher

I came to class not knowing what to expect – as usual. Somehow one is never sure what the group’s take will be on the topic of facilitation. It’s always interesting to see how the groups interpret the topics from one week to the next.

So we were learning from life this week. The group has chosen to teach us about pain. The group created an experience for the class by asking us to close our eyes and think back to a painful experience. A number of painful experiencing came flooding back and at that moment I realised how I hadn’t forgotten any of the lessons learnt from each of those experiences.

Story telling was the facilitation tool of choice. There was sharing of a number personal stories from the group which I felt uncomfortable with at some point. I don’t do well with people’s personal stories, especially painful experiences. I just never know what to do with the information.

Then one of the group members throws a spanner in the works by revealing to the class that she was excluded from the facilitation. At first I though it was a prank, maybe part of their facilitation piece. Strange as that may seem, I just didn’t think it was real. Until it was.

We debated how Roslyn should deal with the situation and finally agreeing that the matter should be discussed separately with the group. This was a perfect reminder of how complicated group dynamics can be. Rules of engagement are critical for groups and so is clarity of purpose. A shared vision and goal makes things that much more easier.

Then again it’s easier said than done……….



Building Shared Understanding – Week 9

This week was for me the most fascinating and thought-provoking with such a poignant  topic of discussion – building shared value . As a person, it became abundantly clear that if I want to establish a leadership position I will need to establish some basic fundamentals in order to establish relationships and in the process build trust. Today was about building relationships in teams as well as fostering a teamwork culture whilst setting clear ground rules.

I found most profound the timelines that each of the colleagues including myself had to draw whilst reflecting on the highs and lows within our lives. This was probably the most difficult task especially as I had to delve deep into history and allow myself to be vulnerable. Whilst this course has allowed this vulnerability to be exposed in a safe space…. it did not make it easier

We looked at the Johari Windo, developed by Joseph Loft and Harry Ingam looking at how we give and receive information. This was mindblowing especially as I reminded myself that sometimes it easier to give feedback than to receive it.

Aluta Continua – the struggle continues



Building shared understanding

In a network, building Shared Understanding is essential because each member or organization in the network enters with their own belief of what is wrong, and consequently a unique, focused vision for how to make it right. Given that collective action networks are most effective when members agree on a shared set of goals and metrics, they must first hold a “shared display” of the issues to minimize the impact and distraction of various biases, filters, and incomplete information. Otherwise, the network members will resemble the parable of the blind men and the elephant – each with their hand on one part of the issue, but none with the complete picture.

Knowledge is power

Reflecting on the year that was and the learning from Facilitation it definitely assisted me and my group with our presentation. Over the past several months we were equipped with the tools to present and learn from what we presented. As the weeks went by and i waited in anticipation for our group to present, I must admit that I was very nervous. Nervous that we would not know what to do and how to present. But week by week we learnt from other groups as well as some new tools to add to our tool box in order to present. Fear turned into excitement as we prepared for our facilitation.

And so the day arrived and all went down well. Not only did we facilitate but we also gained knowledge from the experience.

Whilst writing my draft essay I was also forced to reflect on what was. It made me look at every lesson and what if at all it impacted my learning or just simply added to my life. I can say with confidence that reflecting on my experiences that i definitely have learnt allot in this lecture. Unexpected but true. I have started implemented some of the learnings in my work life and have seen the difference.


building relationship

Week 6

as our presentation approached I started panicking seeing how other groups have performed ‘are we gonna get it right”oh the time is not enough. we chopped and changed ideas on last minutes. we stepped on each other’s toes. but disagreements didn’t hold us back. we worked together having a common goal to nail the group members were on fire .i have personally learned that one can build or destroy their relationships if they lack communication. The word ” I” amongst team members does not work instead it leads to disaster .relationship are built on communication, listening, and being united. it is not about one individual.

seeing with new eyes

Week 5

the idea of wearing a pair of shoes you don’t even know to whom it belongs to make it very uncomfortable.the group that presented that day made us realize that sometimes we will never understand what other people go through unless we try on their shoes, of which we feel uncomfortable and uneasy to walk in their shoes. we judge a book by its cover. I must say this course has opened my eyes and changed the way I view the world.

Honouring the difference

Week 4

I missed the class on this day due to personal reasons, but one of my fellow group mates explained to me what was done in class. the topic was about different hair types. she even joked and said ”Hlumi, I wish you were in class last week we spoke about your hair and she touched on my weave. I wanted to know more about what was said with regards to honoring the difference.

story telling

this was my first week. first few minutes in class I was confused.i really did not understand what was happening. but at the same time, I was curious.the group presented. wow, I wanted to drop the facilitation course, but after the group presented I felt that I want to be part of these great minds. I enjoyed how Roslyn conducted the session that day.oops, and I shared my personal story that how free I was that day.I have learned that people have different viewpoint after we have been given an opportunity to share our thoughts about the poem that was read that day.

Facilitating Change

Facilitating Change

The group that facilitated this topic made me understand that communication and listening are the most important tools to resolve conflict and change the situation.  Change can only take place when there is an interaction amongst individuals.

Secondly I learned that individuals have egocentric thinking, meaning that we do not consider the needs and rights of other people.  Everything is all about “ourselves”, we are naturally believing in our own intuition.

I also learned about psychological standards in human thinking and different styles of communication such as download, debate, conversation and collaboration. The exercise of debating was awesome.

Thanks to Roslyn




I walked in the class looking lost, not knowing what to do because it was packed.It was a big chaos but we managed to sit down .The facilitator started distributing the numbers that everyone chose and we were divided into two groups the afternoon and morning group.Then she introduced hereself i could not hear what she said, i was annoyed and tired.

Week 7

The facilitation groups topic was Facilitating Change, highlighting time management.
The group facilitated greatly by providing us with an outlook on the time we have and how we manage this time by having us look at items or tasks which take up a certain amount of time and whether or not this time is realistically relevant. Great way to have one relook at how time is wasted and/or not utilised to its proper extent.

The class was then requested to split into groups, and after submitting our ‘draft reflective essay’s’ which were due, were given someone elses essay in the class to review and mark.
Personally, I did not think this was fair, as we as students would not know what the lecturer, in this case Roslyn would be looking for, if anything in particular. Understanding Roslyn mentioned there is no wrong or right way, however this course is seen as accredited in order to complete the degree therefore should receive sufficient accreditation.
Anyways, this is just my personal view, I do however respect Roslyns manner of conducting her course and appreciate her passion in providing the course or the content thereof.

Communicating Via Social media

It was eye opening to know different kinds of communications that can be utilized for different objectives. I know most of them but didn’t have enough information about Pintrest. I didn’t know that you can share your hobbies or interest via it and gain more information about certain hobbies foods etc through it.

The world today can minimize time between people irrespective of time differences between states and distances as well. People can on same understanding or knowledge irrespective of background or country of origin

Learning from life

I was part of the group facilitating on this topic. It took so much work and time to try and make it all work out perfectly. For me personally, this was quite important because I am the woman I am today because I had to fight the negativity in me caused by an absent father and growing up with a bitter mother. I wish I was confident enough to believe that we delivered. You see, as a blogger, I know exactly want I want to achieve when I write a meaningful blog. And I alone am responsible for what I put out. Therefore, I will recheck my work sometimes for weeks at a time before I publish because I need to be very satisfied with the message to the masses. I aim to influence positively. I don’t know if as part of a group, If I did exactly that.

A couple of weeks ago, we learnt about how as part of resolving conflict, we need to collaborate with one another. It’s weird how as a group we thought that it’s best to accommodate all ideas but within reason of what works. Finding common ground. Others saw it differently. Alas, this would provide a lesson in learning from life that was unexpected. What I learned is that the life changing tools we got from each presentation, should not end in this facilitation. If they are to be a habit, they are to be practised. That was a huge reminder for me.
Like I said earlier, as a blogger, it’s a one man show. What was challenging for me working I a group was “not taking over everything”. Lol..I often found myself as the “speaker for everyone”. This is not because they nominated me to be such but it’s what I gravitate towards when in a group. This can be a very bad habit if unchecked because people have minds and mouths of their own, they can speak for themselves.
This realization came after we went through material of what makes a group function well. In any group setting, if we all don’t do what needs to be done, it is easy to “check out”, to give up, get frustrated and shut down. As much as the content to be discussed is important, the roles and responsibilities of the members are also important. It’s vital to know that you will have to participate and communicate but also to compromise and address different ideas. In the end you will need a structure that works, rules of engagement, a clear definition of the ideal result, collaboration, communication, dedication and open mindedness. It’s also important to try have fun while you are in that group space.

What I have discovered about myself in a group setting is that I immediately assume the position of the person that provides structure. I gravitate towards leadership, especially in my work environment because my role is that of leading rather than managing. My Line manager has always said to me “Get their buy in”, Inspire them so they can do what you need them to do but do it with passion.
This has taught me to take a moment and assess the person in front me. I need to help them value what they do, so I can get the desired results of their work. I need to assess their strengths and weakness, so they can be provided with a role that best suits their capabilities. As some said in class, should you need to re-shuffle duties, do so for the benefit of the group. It has also taught me the need for patience, the knowing that ‘I don’t have to respond to all negativity” and the importance of appreciating their views because as Roslyn says “we say things from Our world view”.

All I know is this: in attempting to facilitate on ‘learning from life”, I learned that you never stop learning. Sometimes you will encounter situations that will force you to go back into yourself and re-learn, implement and practise the “Life tools” you have acquired.

Communication is Complex

This week was one of the hardest for me. What I thought I knew about communication and listening was debunked. I realised that communication and listening is a lot more complex than I had always thought. The lessons learned were interesting and eye-opening. I found myself afterwards introspecting about my life and behaviour, especially how I converse and relate to people in my life. I realised that I have often struggled to listen to someone without thinking of a response or sharing my experience similar to what I am being told.

For a few days following class I have been practicing to listen with “intent” and I must admit this is not easy. I am constantly confronted with the edge to respond, correct or ask for further details or clarity. I try it with my friends, family and colleagues. It’s a skill I want to master to communicate effectively and make the most of every conversation and experience in my life. I am learning that words create worlds; they give new perspective to life and people. What we say about people and what we hear from them can change how we feel and respond. So therefore, it is important to be conscious of our role and behaviours in every conversation. We also need to be mindful of the different communication style we engage in, whether it is a Tell-Tell, Debate Confront-React, Conversation Advocate-Inquire, in relation to our aims.

These phases of communication help us to establish an aim for communicating with someone else. As with Tell-Tell, people relate their sides and others are just listening, it is mainly common way of communicating. Sometimes we engage in Debate Confront-React without realising as we eager to present a better of events or believing our side better. The method I am practicing which result in meaningful communication is the Collaboration Share- Discover as there is honest exchange between people and conversations are marked by respect. In a multicultural society such as South Africa where diverse people share social spaces, it is important to communicate with one another to understand each other and help repair the hurt of the past. Personally I have started implementing changes in my personal life in relation to communication and I know it will bear fruits.

The learning continues….


Group3 presented.They dressed up in different cultural attire and told us about different cultures in dirverse to South Africa.They both presented presenting different cultures and they engaged very well with the audiences by asking questions and clarifying the myths e.g. Shangaan people of mozambique are called shangaan because during the war they left SA with King Shongaan because  they left their kids behind thats not true.Shakas day was renamed Haritge day to embrace all culuters.Hounaring the difference is about respecting the things that are diffrent about each person, therefore we find that  interesting in cultures in that we have rituals ,values.We all have similar events such as birth,initiation,marriage,death and backgrounds,experiences,cultures and learning styles.We thereforre discussed page 61,65,67 and 68 we read through in the class.


It is amazing how we learn by participating  and involved  in the discussions of the topics that were given.Rossylin creates an experience for all the leaners to engage themselves by asking questions instead of being expects in every topic this provokes the information  we already know because the was no wrong or correct answers.Rosylin wanted to create the learning enviroment that is conducive to everyone this will be determined by encouraging to listen mindfully to others, listening without judgement, encourage people to out of their closet and allow everyone to have a voice in group discussions by doing this she was trying to build confidence in each and everyone



We did about social media that is the collection of online and tools that we use to share contents,profiles,opinions,insights,experiences and perspectives this facilitate the conversations and interactions online between groups of people .It was highlighted that social networking is the act of connecting on social media platforms.Sosial media today is the most important contact that people realy on for communication in marketing and it also helps in bulding a brand  and increase brand visability ,through building and educating everyone together with the potential customers.It was an eye opener i learnt different platforms that i can use to communicate with everyone i.e whatsAPP,facebook,instergram and pininterest for getting more information.

Learning from Life blog 8

This was the day our group was facilitating, the day before we rehearsed until late. We worked extremely hard and came up with our end result. Unfortunately, as a group we were caught off guard when one of our team members felt they were left out….which was not the case. The presentation took longer than expected.  Rosslyn gave us a time out and there was nothing anyone of us could do… I worked my butt off… Making sure I was available for every rehearsal and attended every facilitation class.  Taking away from this I personally learnt that it’s of importance to create a strong shared vision for our teams, and the vision needs to be big as every person in the group can be inspired. Communication is the driving force behind our vision of purpose and set strategic goals so that each team member can accomplish their objective. In return this will help each other to stay motivated and gain greater confidence.

Learning from life…learning from pain was the topic we presented, and allowed us to speak about our own challenges that we faced and learning to understand that pain is not indefinite. How to deal with the pain of losing a loved one, going through a divorce, going through depression and anxiety and merely the struggles of life. I can’t control how other people behave and I really can’t change who they are and what they do but I can control my own interpretations, perceptions, attitudes and behavior and by doing so I will definitely become a happier and less stressed person.  As individuals we waste too much time in regret and heartache.

In life, we don’t attract what we want, we attract what we do.

Facilitating Happened

The day finally arrived for our group to Facilitate. It was an exhilarating experience to say the least. The product of weeks of planning, frustrations, fun and sacrifice finally came together and revealed to the class. To this point we have learned valuable lessons, both lessons from the book content and facilitating tips from Roslyn. We also had learned lessons from watching other groups facilitate and incorporated this in our exercise. One thing which I didn’t anticipate is how quickly 30 minutes passes by. In a blink of an eye the presentation was done. I enjoyed every moment of it and it was received well. A brilliant team effort was delivered.

Our topic focused on Facilitating Change, we chose a conflict environment. We wanted to highlight the factors that at times can contribute to conflict. These factors include amongst others ego, resistance and perception. These factors play a vital role in perpetuating conflict and can be destructive if not checked on or acknowledged by conflicting parties. We also wanted to illustrate how often we fail to consider the impact conflict has other people. Others can be hurt directly or indirectly from our actions. In this case of our play, the feelings of the child were ignored as both parents focused on themselves.

However, we learned that with the adoption of positive measures such as listening, communicating and collaborating, we can overcome conflict and move towards resolution and change. What came out strongly in both our presentation and class lessons is the role perception plays in conflict and change. Perception influence how we eventually feel and respond. People’s perceptions about themselves and social situations play an important role in either responding negatively or positively. This is what the SCARF model by David Rock about change highlights.

The lessons learned this week were that; there is no one truth or one way to resolve a conflict or achieve change. Every situation has to be assessed on its merits to ensure that all aspects and considerations are taken into account. It is possible to resolve resolution and change if everyone’s’ intention is good and genuine.

The learning continues…

Facilitation Blog #8

The session started with us having a demonstration on Learning from life which focused on physical, emotional and psychological pain and different ways in which we can cope with it but more importantly focusing on the fact that it is a process, even though it may be difficult, can strengthen us.

The facilitation session was on Team Alignment focusing on forming, storming, norming and performing. This focuses on the stages that people go through in having to work in teams or groups with the ideal being to reach a stage of collaboration allowing the team to have the ability where they are able to perform well together.

Teams are often wider then we assume because everyone that forms part of a process that affects your outcome of achievement is to be considered part of your team, whether in your work or personal life.

It is important having a clear purpose because when the goal is achieving our purpose then we tend to excel. Having clear rules of engagement assists in resolving conflict because personalities may be diverse but it becomes important for people to be heard because killing conflict means that you are taking whatever is not being said below the waterline which may cause resentment. This is done in remembering to remain mindful, respectful and non-judgemental  of each other’s  view.

Facilitation vs. presentation 101

This week, the purpose of the module was set in motion as all calm returned to the Saturday class. I finally understood what the difference between facilitating and presenting was as I tentatively watched the first group’s attempt at facilitating a topic around social media. Easy topic, I thought to myself as they put in their best foot forward and immersed us into their facilitation piece. Nerves were the order of the day as they took us through all the different social media apps and networks as well as their different functionality.

This group and their facilitation style in two weeks’ time down the line be useful when it was time to do our facilitation piece as a group, I thought as I paid close attention.

Team Cohesion

We had a presentation in the morning, on learning from life. The group chose pain as their facilitation subject. It was an emotional facilitation, as group members shared a personal experience which involved physical, emotional and mental pains that they have gone through. The group had a controversial facilitation as one group member verbalised that she was not treated fairly, she felt sidelined from the beginning, by her group. She left the class without presenting her portion. We were then asked how the situation could have been handled, we shared different opinions, others recommending that the facilitator, Rosyln, should handle it herself, with the group, so that she can get two sides of the situation. We did exercises on team cohesion processes, with team stages like forming, storming, norming and performing, these stages enable working together as a group, to achieve certain goals. It was so informative as its necessary for teamwork, which is paramount for a job success, to be realised, in the workplace.

Week 9 – Blog 9:”Time Management- Wheel of life”

Week 9 – Blog 9:”Time Management- Wheel of life”

Saturday the 15th we had two biggest part of activities for the day. Being an audience foe our colleagues facilitation and the draft essay submissions. The facilitation was so great hence the group was explaining time management which is so crucial for me as a parent student. It is about my understanding of  more important for me and how well I have to balance time across all my activities and in different life areas. The wheel of life exercise was the perfect starting point for goal setting the most crucial is to maintain and consult the wheel of life. I can now set my career path, studies and my social life around this wheel of life. Time management is very important and we all need to use time accordingly. The four quadrant is a very good tool for me to use time effectively.The urgent important deadlines,  not urgent important planning, urgent not important and not urgent not important is a tool that one can use to manage time optimally and this was a very important part for me and i was not aware of such ways of selecting what is really needed not what i want.

Draft Essay submissions:

After the presentation and the usually criticism of the facilitation in our respective group, the draft essay submission was the most dominated topic as we were just whispering around the draft essay.             Then comes the time to submit the essay. I had so high expectation regarding the Draft essay, thinking that the lecture will mark them then tell us where we did not do well. Eish! only to found out that the draft essays were to be given to each other, and a comrades who is also here for learning to mark and that was a bit of disappointment to my expectation.

No wonder madam Solomon always says you should not set your expectation to high, because you will lose the opportunity to learn when things are not going according to your expectation.  I was quite disappointed to discover that all the essays were redistributed to the rest of the class randomly, for students mark each other’s work. After class our group needed to meet to discuss about our facilitation that is coming on the 29th of September just to put some of the aspect in order for that biggest day.

Was a great day!

Week 10- Blog 10:” Learning from Life.”

Week 10- Blog 10:” Learning from Life.”

Saturday the 22nd ‘s class was so emotional, for me  it was like  attending a memorial service. The topic was so emotional , the setup was so memorial, lighting candles , facilitators were wearing in black colors and it just brought back so many memories around my minds.
The presenting group was a bit confused between minutes and seconds, nevertheless it was more of the presentation than a facilitation session. After the facilitation there were few  very interesting games. Game of two using a ropes and the game pf dice,throwing of dice and collecting chips the team with more chips wins the game.Indeed very nice game thought and for me the games were like the after tears because we really enjoyed the games and all the sad memories I went through during facilitation class were fading away while playing games.
During the Game it was important to Learning from Life including, especially learning from each other by: seeking help, changing strategy, communicating, these are still the keys of all activities, collaborations, rules of engagement and conflict resolution also mentioned as  important to observe. We cannot forget about being patient, compromising listening and giving other’s chances to explore and express themselves.
At the end of the class when Madam Solomon was telling us that she is leaving and this was her last class with us for this semester, I felt so bad like  another sad memory to register but i have to adjust as the topic of the day was learning from life and I have to accept without conditions some of the things that life presents to me.
After class we went to practice again as our facilitating day is approaching.


Thank you

Reflective essay

The morning started with a presentation on time management, which was well facilitated by different group members. It was enlightening, as it got me to work on managing my time properly, and motivated an improvement on that front. We then had to submit the reflective essays that we brought, the two copies, one with an attachment of the six blogs that have been written thus far. The essays were swapped among our selves as students, and we were given marking criteria, like a rubric, to follow when marking. It was a challenge for me as l have never marked anyone’s essay, I was expecting the facilitator, Roslyn, to do the marking herself as she has the experience, and knows what to expect. It was, however, interesting to read other students’ work, and draw a comparison, and learn from them, as well. I managed to follow the rubric as l went through the essays, which were two, and l made corrections were l could, and rewarded them as well, whether the marks were appropriately allocated, it remains a mystery.

Reflective Essay

Today was quite scary, I was not prepared for fellow class mates to be the ones reviewing my essay.  As a reflective essay, I thought it would be a private “conversation” piece between the facilitator and myself.  Having just said that, in this instance, my class mates actually were facilitators – facilitating change.

The exercise of drafting a reflective essay was quite a difficult task for me.  Whilst reflection is not something we do often.  Though I do go through the process of having conversations in my head, I don’t often pen down what “conflict” or dilemma it is that I am resonating upon.  I actually had to sit down and google – “how to do a reflective essay”.


Having spent the time soul searching when doing my essay, the feedback from the classmate – that my essay was not academic enough – turned out to be frustrating.

Oh well….

Back to the drawing board…….. that’s what learning is all about



learning from life Group 6

Group 6 was up today for the facilitation piece. The group instructed us to close our eyes and think of something that made us cry or the loss of a loved one. This really makes me emotional as many other people I have gone. The group talked to different types of pain physical, emotional and psychological pain. What touched me is when they mentioned that pain is never permeant and that things will go be better with time. The group really did well I was really impressed and touched by the facilitation piece.
After the presentation Roslyn gave us a rope ,she instructed us to join the ropes and untangle the rope from each other this was challenging and seemed unbearable ,without Roslyn’s clue we would have been doomed. I realised from that experiment that two minds are better than on and that team work is vital in our personal lives and at work.
It was an interesting day full of surprises everyone in who attended will contest to that. Never a dull moment.
Over and out☺

Draft Essay

I was never ready for this draft essay, typing it at 8pm on the 14 September and its due on the 15 September made me realise that reflective essays take time as you need to recollect the things that stood out and how they have impacted the way you think and do things. I did the reflective essay and managed to print two copies.

The group that was facilitating in the morning really did a good job I enjoyed it as I believe they personally spoke to me and I learned a whole lot. I appreciate the print outs they did as it gave me time to read and understand the concepts they spoke about. The quadrant that I operate from is that I leave or delay things that are important that require my attention and I end up spending so much time on social media and other distractions which is a bad habit and now that I know I’m gradually moving away from that way of doing things and managing my time more effectively and staying Focused.

Our reflective draft essays were reviewed by our peers and we could comment or correct any errors that they might have not seen. While reviewing my peers draft essay I realised that we see and understand things differently and this course has affected us in a good way but we have different views on our experience in facilitation. Thank you to the wonderful people that reviewed my draft and picked up some errors in it and gave some ideas on the other things that I excluded from the essay thank you.

Learning from life

What an interesting day it was hey. The group that did the facilitation this morning, they asked us to close our eyes and think of something that made you cry or the loss of a loved one now that  brought about a flood of sad memories. They spoke about a lot things depression, emotional and psychological pain etc. And then I learned about team work that there is no I in team its about us it about reaching goals and rewards (Intrinsic & Extrinsic rewards). In teams we encounter different challenges as we have team dynamics, where we have different values, ideas, interests and personalities and sometimes our attitudes are not compatible. And this brings about conflict in the team but these conflict need to be resolved in order to reach the goals, purpose and objectives set. Teams would have to use the five tools to resolve conflict or other methods. And then we looked at the five phases in the life cycle of team which is Forming, storming, norming, performing and reforming.

Then Ros asked us to choose a partner and we were given a rope that looked like prison shackles and we had to join the ropes and untangle the rope from each other and that was the most difficult task ever OMG however impossible it looked my partner and I knew it was possible and wen Ros gave us a clue saying go to the root of the problem thats when it all made sense and finally we got it yaaaay. For me moral of the task (two is better then one) when you are two more can be achieved and if one is discouraged the other can encourage them.

Now in the below task of 10 in a group we learned to work as a team and the importance of understanding the tasks or instructions assigned to the particular group. Ros gave us chirps and two dice, now I felt as if I was at the casino just that this casino was different I was sitting on the floor rolling a dice and passing on chirps to the next person.

Finally Ros asked for some comment on what she can improve or could have done differently in her facilitation lesson and how this facilitation has impacted our lives and it was very kind of her to do so. I personally enjoyed the facilitation lesson I don’t regret taking this course its not like other courses. Facilitation is different you never know what to expect but you always leave the class with a A WOOOOW type of excitement. It has impacted my life in a very positive way and the people around appreciate the fact that I share what I’ve learned in facilitation with them. Its been a wonderful journey and I’ve enjoyed it.

Thank you Roslyn


Learning from Life.

Today Saturday 22nd September 2018, as usual, I came to class prepared for having fun. The topic for the presenting team today is “Learning from Life.” The class start and all students told to close their eyes for about 30 seconds. During this shut-down, we are told to recall the most painful situation in our lives. I immediately became emotional when starting to recall the death of my mother in a car accident in 1992. I could still recall the place of the crash and the vehicle they were traveling on. We were then told to open our eyes.

The presenting team wen on and discussed different types of pain. They mentioned:

  • Physical Pain.
  • Emotional Pain.
  • Psychological Pain.

The moral of the is that pain is never permanent. They mentioned one of the most successful and an influential celebrity “Oprah Winfrey” as an example. We were told that Oprah went through Psychological and Emotional Pain. Apparently, she was sexually abused by a family member when she was only 10. At 14 she fell pregnant and lost the baby boy soon after birth.

We were encouraged to accept those circumstances/moments that bring us pain. They said the most important thing is to let go and move on.

Roslyn made my day when she mentioned that “Shit happens when you facilitating”.

In closure, I got pissed by one of the team member who stood up and told us that she feels rejected because all her ideas and contribution to the group fell on deaf ears. She then put off all candles, walked to the door, slammed it and off she went!

What an attitude!

Thumps up to the presenting group though, they did an outstanding job. Well done guys, I learned a lot from your presentation!

Learning From Life – Week 8

Today’s facilitation allowed me to delve within my own pain, my own experiences and my own pain. Ho personal stories of pain can allow one to dig deep into ones owns soul and … (chocking) reflect and think back on that very day, hour, minute, second. When that pain was so real when in the now it still real that you are almost able to touch it.

This session has left me shaken and with a sense of indescribable feelings. The rope exercise taught me the value of guidance from those people closest to you. In the moment when you feel that you cannot….guidance from those closest to you allows you a different option, a different path.



We closed the session with reflection on group formation…….. forming, storming, norming , performing and adjourning

Aluta Continua ……This struggle is real!


Learning from Life

This week’s topic was interesting to say the least.  There were a few takeaways from the class. Firstly, I learned again that in order to resolve conflict, specifically one that occurs while facilitating, one should remove yourself from the situation and use the concept of the balcony and the dance to gain perspective.

The exercise with the rope reiterated this. It showed that sometimes you are too close to a situation to see the solution. As people we often get so caught in the frustration of not succeeding that we stop to think, communicate or change the strategy or approach to a task.

The team work exercise with the chips and dice was fun as our group was very competitive – or maybe we have a gambling problem HAHA. However it also showed that when a team has clear instructions, knows what the goal is, communicates and collaborates it is easier to achieve any task.  The forming, storming, norming and performing concepts also show that sometimes conflict is necessary in order to grow and that to move forward the conflict should not be ignored but resolved.



The week leading up to the draft essay submission was chaotic to say the least. Amidst the work and university drama I thought that writing a reflective essay wouldn’t be hard to manage especially compared to a 3000 word academic essay.

Doing introspection is often easier said than done and requires being honest with yourself. Writing the draft essay I realised how much value I received from this course and how much of the content I could apply to my job. For example, rules of engagement, the balcony and the dance and the ways of learning are concepts that are useful when engaging with large groups at work or resolving conflict.

I must admit that the thought of someone readying my essay and possibly providing a critique was daunting but it also made me want to put in more effort to get my essay constructed as best I could. In the end I was looking forward to the feedback I would receive but also to the remaining few weeks of the course and what I could learn.

Upwards and onwards!


My Journey

I could remember getting to Campus feeling all sorts of emotions knowing that i just got this to make it right. As i set busy with my registrations i had a few doubts about this course and was asking myself but why Facilitation. I dont want to be a teacher? As i thought facilitation is about being a teacher and training. The Aha i went to the class and it was totally different to what i was thinking.

The balcony and the dance

The Balcony and the dance


We are often caught up with what we are doing, we are caught up in our steps, in our rhythm. In our steps and rhythm, we do not see what is going on around us. We do not see that maybe our steps are disturbing or disrupting someone else. It is very important to move from the dance, walk to the balcony and watch the dance. Looking from the balcony will give you a better view of the dance floor. It will give you a different perspective of what is going on.

It is the same as our daily lives. Looking at the situation from an eagle eye, or the balcony it will help you react differently to other situations. It will help you understand from a different perspective. Often, we are caught in the dance, and seldom go to the balcony. . The only way you can gain both a clearer view of reality and some perspective on the bigger picture is by distancing yourself from the dance. If you want to affect what is happening, you must return to the dance floor.

So, you need to be both among the dancers and up on the balcony. That’s where t, going back and forth between the two, using one to leverage the other




Learning from Life

I learned that is now we keeping waiting for that amazing thing to happen in the future that will be the key to our happiness. But this is it. Right now. Life continues to be a series of right nows. So learn to love right now, and you’ll have an amazing life.

  1. Fear is an illusion (mostly). Most of the things we fear never happen. Or if they do happen, they are rarely as bad as we fear they will be. For most of us, fearis the worst thing that will happen to us. Reality isn’t as painful.
  2. Relationships rule. At the end of the day, what matters most are the people in our lives. Put them first every single day. Before work. Before the computer. Before your hobbies. Treat them like they are your everything.
  3. Debt isn’t worth it. Nothing is more draining and humiliating than being in debt. Buying things you can’t afford might give you a short-term buzz, but in the long run, it’s extremely stressful. Spend below your means. Save money. Wait until you can afford it. Live free.
  4. Your kids aren’t you. You are the vessel to bring your children into the world and their caretakers until they can care for themselves. You can teach them, love them, and support them, but you can’t change them. They are unique individuals who must live their own lives and learn from their own mistakes. Let them.
  5. Things gather dust. Time and money spent accumulating material things will one day irritate you. You have to clean, maintain, store, and move stuff. The less stuff you have, the freer you are.

Week 7 – Facilitating Change

The syndicate group did a lovely presentation on the importance of time. I always find that all the topics we were given to facilitate on are so relevant to our everyday lives. They gave us tips on how to use your time and allocate it accordingly to balance out your life.

We also touched on the four stages of learning and the three dimensional thinking. I did not have.

Finally it was time to hand in our reflective essays, I was particularly excited about this part and wanted to know how I did. We were told beforehand that we would mark our peer’s essays, but because we were advised to print out 2 copies, I thought the lecturer would take the other copy for marking. Well all I can say is, i need stop assuming. That was my AH-HA of the day… Don’t expect anything and don’t assume things.

My first week: Communication through social media

Communication through social media

I walked in class, looking lost and I asked the facilitator where should I sit. People were placed according to the group and team. I missed week 1 and it was clear. I had no clue what was going on. I found the nearest seat and placed myself with the team. I got there and told them that I am joining them. As a group that was in front started facilitating on a topic. Communication through social media, it was interesting and very interactive session. Likewise, when you are facilitating a topic that is so broad and that is on everyone lips and mind, time runs very quickly.

Time was up and it was time for feedback. I realized then that they are not lectures of the class but the first group facilitating on a topic given to them. I felt a bit embarrassed as I could not pick it up in the first 30 minutes (I laughed at myself even) but quickly moved on to be part of the session. Their presentation for me was somewhat all over the place, their tools and method of facilitating was not practical. As you could not see what was written in their board.

One person dominated the presentation – in a team of 5 people. However, they managed to engage the class, ask questions that stimulated the discussion and I give them props for going first and having literally few days to prepare. They did a nice job. As for me, I was assigned a group (Group 10) which was my home for duration of this course. I finally realized Rosslyn is our lecture, which by the way is full of energy and great. My first day was absolutely fun, and got me looking forward to more facilitation classes in the next coming week.


Learning from life

The group did not start by introduce the topic but it was interesting as we all know that there are some years or days in life that means something.

I have learned that in life we have three dimensions of thinking:

  • Behaviour (Incremental thinking)

On this level there is no learning but we do things as per instruction.  We act according to procedure, rules and just follow how things are done here.

  • Perspective ( Reflective learning)

We begin to learn new things and asks question why and how things are done.  This is the stage where skills, thinking, knowledge and understanding of things develop.


  • System ( Transformational Learning)

This level explains how what we have gained impact the world, how do communicate with others and how we should manage our behaviour.

I also learned about the four stages of learning such as Unconscious incompetence, Conscious incompetence, Conscious competence and Unconscious competence.  She further explained that the journey of proficiency as a facilitator is governed by motivation, opportunity and capability.



The wheel of life

It is about my understanding of whats more important for me and how well I balance across all of life different areas. The wheel of life exercise is the perfect starting point for goal setting. I can now set my career path, studies and my social life.

Time management is about what to prioritize and when to do it as well as how to do it. Time management is also about a tracker for life and work.

I found the four quadrant to operate from very useful in my in balancing my work life and family life.

The urgent important deadlines,  not urgent important planning, urgent not important and not urgent not important is a tool that one can use to manage time optimally without hindrance.

Written by

Ipotseng Makotwane


Week 7: Facilitating Change

The group for today was facilitating change. They talked about change as being the transition from one challenge to the next.

I definitely see this in my life in the past 1-2 years. I left my job of 11 years for a better one, I moved house twice, I travelled to Europe for the first time, I started this degree at Wits in July and most recently we welcomed my nephew into the world. His birth was an attestation to how abrupt change can also be and how we are sometimes taken by surprise. He’s 3 months premature and is in Neonatal ICU, but he is a beautiful little person who is fighting for his life. If he can fight like this I think we should all be able to actively adjust to the constant changes in our lives with the right toolset. Someone once said, the only things in life that are certain are death, taxes and change….or something like that. My point is that no matter who we are and how much we think we can avoid it, it is bound to happen and we need to embrace change.

What also stood out for me was the fact that in order to manage change we need to manage our time by evaluating our wheel of life, and how each area of our lives is doing. This was a great exercise because it allows us to take stock of our lives and see what needs more attention. We all have our goals and taking stock of this allows us to see where our energy is required most and how we can manage our time better so that we are prepared and we don’t find ourselves in a situation where everything is urgent and important at the same time.

We also assessed each other’s draft reflective essays and got some pointers on how to make the final essay better.

Our syndicate group also did a practice run of our facilitation and although my presentation fears are still there, the facilitation piece itself seems to be making some progress compared to the previous weeks.

Week 7 Learning from Life

Facilitators came up with a beautiful sub-topic. They chose history significance to reflect to what we learnt from life.  The main idea was years of mishaps and celebrations in South Africa.

We were seated in small groups, in my group were discussing Rugby world cup 1995. This was the year where we won world for the first time. Mandela was there in flesh and blessed Springbok.

What we learnt from this experience is that sports unite the people, there was no colour but happy South Africans.

Week 07 – Draft Essay submissions

The morning started out with a flurry of noise. Students whispering to each on whether or not their draft essays were ready for submission. I was also one of the whisperers. I was quite disappointed to discover that all the essays were collated into one bundle, then redistributed to the rest of the class randomly, for students mark each others work.

In all fairness, some of the essays were good, some not, but the fact that students marked and criticized the work of their peers, was not exactly how I envisaged the marking process. Nevertheless, I received some interesting feedback from my unknown marker who clearly had no clue on the brief and mandate of the draft essay and how to constructively critique other peoples work.

Despite the shenanigans, the overall feedback from Roslyn was inspiring and encouraging. She provided more insight and hope on how to present a better essay.

For that, I thank you.

week 07- Time and its manager

in 1748, a founding father of the Unites States Benjamin Franklin coined the term “time is money”. little did he realize that 270 years later, he ‘was on the money’

The management could technically be ‘the one/s in charge of the project of time, but, conversely, it could also be argued that the term ‘management’ is indeed, the control of time. it all depends on the manager, more specifically, how does the manager manage time.

The four (4) quadrant exercise served quite helpful in the analysis of where do we operate from, namely, “manage, Avoid, limit, and Focus”. a proper inventory of one’s daily regimen reveals some interesting data on where exactly our time is spent and focused.

What a great exercise.

First day in class for Facilitation Skills

My return into school after i took a gad semester, i was eager to begin semester classes again since the thirst was too much it needed a quench which was books. The difficulty when registering what modules to do was choosing the modules for the semester, so when i saw that i had no choice but to choose facilitation already with the hearsay i heard from students who did the module i already knew what to expect “the boring” part as uttered by everyone.

My first day was different from what i came in perceiving it to be, it was a space i really needed to be at and the medium that would align my soul searching journey at. Off course it was a bit of a “WOOW” moment however i was very interested to know what will happen next due to the experience i had on my first day. It was an incredible class session and it really tapped in my soul, conscious and mind to want to come and do more of these class sessions.

Time Management Blog 7

Topic Discussed regarding time management was really of importance as it allows us to accomplish more in a shorter period of time. Remember once time is gone is time lost so planning our day or week, making task list, creating a schedule, avoiding distractions, estimate and track time accurately.

When we know what matters and doing it efficiently, its time well spent and we feel more fulfilled. When our time is managed properly we have the ability to learn and grasp more so that we can enjoy life pretty much more. When we appreciate the importance of time, we learn how to manage and maximize it and apply those skills…so that we can actually say we have spent our time well. Effectively managing our time will bring forth improvements to our lives on a dramatic scale. When I think back to my younger days and remember how I envisioned my life at the time…it’s definitely not what I pictured. As I got older it has become easier to lose track of time and lose track of the important things in life.  So personally iv decided to take 1 step at reaching my goal, which is an excellent start. By going at my own pace, to begin to plan and manage my time much more effectively. Planning is definitely key to mapping our direction in which we should head.

Facilitation Blog #7

Our facilitation group session was about facilitating change and it focused on the importance of time management. Time lost can never be recovered so utilize it wisely.

This week we dealt with our draft essays and it was distributed to different people for constructive criticism which was a little daunting for me. Nevertheless I gratefully took a lot from it with regards to feedback in preparation to my final essay.

Our facilitation session was based on three dimensional thinking which is about shifting, broadening and deepening thinking patterns to allow for learning and insights to develop. This is about the prevention or elimination of paradigms that limits our perspectives. Opening yourself up to different perspectives allows you to see that you can change your world if you choose to change your perspective.

We also dealt with a pathway to learning which makes us aware of the various stages of learning which ranges from being inspired to learn to the capability of doing so. We do not always realize that we may be lacking, when we become aware we start recognizing learning opportunities, practice ensues until it becomes a norm.


#Facilitating Change: Learning balance as a mature student

So eventually the day arrived!

Group 5’s chance to do a facilitation piece for the class.  Oh the nerves.  We were well prepared though.  Our Group had started working on our “run sheet” directly after lesson 1.  Eager beavers, I know.

In the end I was glad with the way our presentation went off.  Time management and giving the class tools on how to measure their productivity and reflect on how satisfied with the areas in their life – are important.  We don’t take the time for introspection.  So this was a great opportunity.

I was especially glad on how Ros wrapped up our session – picking up on Stephen Covey’s Quadrants of importance.

What did I learn from this experience.  You can never have enough support.  The team work demonstrated by our Group was phenomenal, with everyone pulling together and demonstrating their own strengths forming a cohesive Group.




facilitating change

On the 15th September 2018 we attended the first class after spring break and the presentation for this class was about Facilitating change. One the presenter said that she thinks this topic should have been one of the first to be presented and I am inclined to agree. I have gone through so many changes in a matter of weeks considering the tools I have acquired to change my ways for the better. To start, my life is bad planning experience or maybe I should say planning isn’t something I do well. Dr Miles Monroe says, “You can’t wait for things to happen to you, you need to make them happen” and that ‘the only key to regulating change and time is planning.

The presentation brought to light how time management refers to processes and tools that help us with a productive life. Look, if I can do better than how I do on a regular basis, I am up for it. And “better” for me just simply means a fulfilled purposeful life. I am not chasing titles of any kind, riches and materialistic acquisitions but more the quality of life. I know and believe that what I invest in myself will contribute towards that quality of my life. Time management is a great invest.

One the points this highlighted in my life is that I have no problem with starting, I have a problem with maintaining and the trick with time management is that it must be maintained or it all falls apart. One of the presenters spoke about the time management quadrants in which we operate. I am in the recognition that these quadrants were meant to highlight to me where most of my time goes and now that I know about them will I be making decisions to avoid, limit, focus and manage some. For instance: Tv. I watch a lot of tv when I want space out and not have to deal with anything that’s happening in my life especially emotional issues. But tv is one of those things I need to limit because it can take so much time away from me. Time I could spend doing something productive.

As the presentation went on, I was drawn towards strategies to manage time, mostly because I could some help.
Just to name a few: 1. Start your day with a clear focus. My one must do event in the morning is Coffee. I must have coffee, or my day will not start. But then this strategy talks more than just coffee. Daily, I need to set goals, so the question when I wake up in the morning would be: what Do I want to achieve today? 2. Have a dynamic task list. At this point of my life, I am prepared to try anything. I don’t mind formulating a task list. But there’s this thing called Life. So, what do I do when life throws my list out. Is there a remedy for that?
Step number 5 resonates with me because I am one of those people that leave things for tomorrow as if tomorrow is promised to us. It states this: “Stop procrastinating”. Well, that sounds easier said than done. I equalize this one point to this: Focus.

I have a vision board at the back of my door. One thing is for sure, I need to go back to it a evaluate it. I need to edit my life because it’s my masterpiece. To be the particular woman I want to become, takes focus and intention. I better get to it. It’s starts today and now. Focus and Intention.

Facilitating Change – Week 7

This was our first week back after the break and required us to ease into the class, but alas like all other classes there was no room for taking it easy and we got straight into it – TIME MANAGEMENT. It almost appeared as a paradox of two different worlds. What is this time management they were talking about?

This topic really got me thinking about even how efficient we are as people with our own time and whether we allow ourselves to be efficient . What do I do with my time…… (Question still to be answered) I suppose that in itself shows that theire is much to be done in optimising my own time.


The rest was spent looking at essays …..




Aluta Continua…..This struggle needs a break….. again


Seeing with New Eyes & Freeing your Mind

What a morning, coming to class and asked to put on someone else’s shoes now that was an awkward moment a weird request if I may say. And all I could do was say no but I was never ready for the outcome or the message behind the task. Seeing with new eyes really got me thinking and it changed my perspective on how to view people and situations.

The group that facilitated did a good job, The story that was shared by one of the group member really hit home I felt bad that the homeless go through a lot things. And when the statistics were shared it made me realise that none of them actually asked to be homeless and being homeless can happen to anyone at any given point in life. Many people became homeless overnight life happens to everyone. That was an eye opening moment and it really changed my view on the homeless and other things around me, that I should not judge, everyone has a story to tell. Don’t judging a book by its cover, you might miss out on an amazing story”. As a human being I’m guilty of making assumptions based on what I see and  thats not a good thing.

Freeing your Mind

After the lunch break the next group facilitation took place and they spoke about  EFT, the group was well prepared and did well. I enjoyed the facilitation, the group was dressed in black with emoji’s that stimulated a fun element when I entered the room. I learned about the ways and methods to use to overcome fear, and the tap tap routine.

It was a long day as it was a full day class, takeaways was that people attribute or put different meanings to words double clicking. And then we listened to an Eminem tract where Roslyn identified the various unconscious bias in the track. Insightful day


Facilitating Change

We are given the same amount of days,weeks,months, minutes and hours, question is how do we utilize it. Some are happy others unhappy, some build dreams, other dreams get shattered, but in the end it boils down to that one significant moment where you did something extraordinary or something extraordinary happened to you, it might happened in days,weeks,months, minutes or hours. My moment was the day i became a mother when i saw my son for the first time, my world changed at that very moment I knew that it’s not about me anymore it’s about the little gift God has blessed me with. From that day on I knew I should put in double the work for my goals and dreams that i want to achieve as it won’t just be for me but for him too, I knew that I have to work extra hard for it to pay off because he will look up to me. I don’t want to look back one day and ask what did I do and have nothing to show for it. Day to day we are faced with different challenges but in the end it’s about how we handle those challenges do we choose to tackle it hands on or run away, but we need to be the change we want for ourselves.

Facilitating Change

Beautiful morning today Saturday 15th September 2018. As usual, I woke up looking forward to having fun in class. I brought my Draft Essay along and it is due today. One question keeps crossing my mind “did I do the right thing? What will happen if I fail the Draft Essay”? I did not allow this question to spoil my day. The class officially starts.

Today the presenting group’s topic is “Facilitating Change”. They started by sharing with us this topic “The Wheel of Life”. One team member elaborated and explained how The Wheel of Life exercise is the perfect starting point for goal-setting. I will only stipulate five of the ten area of focus:

  • Business Career & Studies: Is your career where you want it to be by now? Are you heading in the right direction?
  • Finance & Wealth: Are you earning enough income to satisfy your current needs? Is your financial setup for the future growth in wealth?
  • Health & Fitness: How physically healthy are you? Are you satisfied with your level of fitness? Are you satisfied with your diet?
  • Social & Friends: Are your friends supportive of you? Are you engaging friends and socializing to your satisfaction levels?
  • Family: Is your family supportive of you? Are you supportive of your family?

We (the class) were then asked to measure ourselves on every heading on a scale of between 1 and 10, one meaning very little or none. We were then told that if you score between 0 and 4 on any of the headings, you need to consider doing something abo What I found interesting is the fact that I scored 4 on the fourth topic and this very true of me. Being an introvert, I do not socialize more often and I am happy about that. I am not going to try and do something about it.

The facilitating group has done an excellent job in a sense that they kept the whole class involved and after presenting this excellent topic, they still managed to finish on time.

What works for you, might not work for the next person (Roslyn)

In closure, I liked Roslyn’s commend when she mentioned that there was a guy who thought everything was fine until one day when he got home and the lady he was staying with was gone with everything and the house was empty.

The moral of the story is “if you are happy, never for a moment think everyone around you is as happy”. What a fun day we had!

Just a quick quote from Sunday Independent 16 September 2018:

“If you don’t manage change, change will mismanage you” by Dr. John Tibane. Doctor turned Motivational Speaker.

Conflict and Relationships. We Are Resolving and Building!

Ave ku rough!

It turns out the new group members are not so bad. We hardly meet and by the last day I am frustrated and tempers’ about to flare but we got this holding it together on lock down. Breathe child, we are adults. There must be a magic wand somewhere or we are truly lucky. We nail our facilitation and go out like B.O.S.S! We made the pots y’all (oops. i really don’t like the pots joke and sentiment).

As you can guess, I am ecstatic the group work is behind us.Behind me. Wait a minute, was it that much of a breeze? No. We held space for each other. We remembered what was important when all threatened to come down. And I must admit one of the easiest groups since my being at Wits. And even after the facilitation is through, we still meet each other with genuine warmth and laughter, the group is still active. As for my group anxiety, we’ll see in the next one but I certain I have the skills to maneuver conflict and building working relationships.

The decision spiral was such an eye opener. Conflict, depending on how it is handled, facilitates growth. It indicates when it is time to leave or be raised in the current space. It affirms one’s placing and position by serving as a reminder that anytime one has to ease, appease or please then it is time to reevaluate and renegotiate the space.

One was also reminded that “the meaning of your communication is the response you got from the other person”, and in the end how you respond is your responsibility, instead of entering into the realm of right and wrong; unpack the arguement or source of conflict.

Often we bring matters of our previous relationships into our current. Irrespective of whether the relationship is platonic, professional or sexual. We still bring baggage. For instance “ave ku rough” as the attitude I keep regarding group work or peopling (having to deal with a lot of people) and my social anxiety. Ultimately it is the work we put on ourselves that helps us navigate and communicate better and become more mindful of those we seek to build relationships with.

Today’s lesson:Check yourself!


The Freeing Exercise of Seeing Anew

What is truly the condition of our interior in any interaction? What is this offence, if any, often unspoken yet influencing so much of our expression and experience? What are the politics of our inner experience that we have this lived experience? How do we learn?

A full day’s class on freeing our minds and seeing with new eyes. It entrilling to find out how one’s mind works, ways in which we learn. This opened way to the many simple ways a conflict ensues and frustration takes form. It also provided new ways in which given this knowledge and resources one can thrive. I absolutely loved this session. Exposing our individual biases and the things that we often assume are different about us but yet so similar.

We took a moment to walk, rather wear another’s shoes and attempt a walk there in. Mosotho a re: bohloko ba seeta bo utlw’wa ke monga sona. In the spirit of honouring difference, we will learn a different language. Find therefore a Sesotho speaking person and have them teach you the meaning of the above and the pronunciation of the words so you may read on your own and to others too. Offer yourself the freeing exercise of seeing anew. And we took time to debrief and detox from our pains and busy lives by tapping into our emotional space thereby accessing that intelligence and learning techniques to free ourselves from emotional clutter of our fast paced lives.

It was such a fulfilling class. It opened our eyes to conditioning and gave us the awareness to be alert and mindful of those thoughts and things we pay much attention to. It also highlighted the privileged tones from which some of us speak from especially in that exercise of what the words: poor, rich, integrity and wealth mean, to us.

I was moved by compliment from a classmate. I have so much to say about that moment but I am not sure if the space is safe enough yet. But I will say to my colleague, I am glad to be seen. I see you!

Today’s lesson:mind your heart. take care to know yourself. laugh at how fellable you are.

you are ok! we get it right eventually,
in the words of the 3 idiots: Al iz wel.


Honouring Difference

(a respectful greeting said when giving a namaskar.a traditional Indian greeting or gesture of respect, made by bringing the palms together before the face or chest and bowing.)

(a respectful greeting said when seeing a person, to acknowledge their presence. a traditional Zulu greeting.)

(a respectful greeting said when seeing a person, often followed by their name, to signal that one is seen and acknowledge
and therefore they too must agree and acknowledge being seen by seeing and acknowledging the other.)

One cannot honour difference without acknowledging difference. Acknowledging a thing means to see a thing. And oftentimes we do not see each other.The group facilitating this week’s topic was very brave to say the least. Chattering on very delicate, sensitive, dicey and political terrain: a black woman’s hair. I must admit I was unsettled and triggered in that space. Needless to say it was a heavy class. It was amazing the doors of the mind and the heart this particular class opened. During feedback session, one of the group members apologised to a classmate for being rude. She admitted to being triggered by their question and hence her reply. Her bravery caused a ripple effect which sparked a confession from another group member and the classmate directed to was me. In that moment, a 2 year long silent feud evaporated. Another classmate from the second week’s facilitation came out with her own confession, an internalisation of feedback that was perceived wrongly. That air too was cleared.

When we distance ourselves from a thing and stop being the centre from which all things revolve, we stop and see and acknowledge we are not in isolation. We embrace lovingly than battle warringly. Sometimes we are in conflict with people who are not even in conflict with us, some even unaware there is a conflict. Different doesn’t mean bad, but mannier times out of fear of what we do not know we often battle. We assume and conclude the worst without even knowing the full story. Assigning stereotypes and cheating ourselves out of meaningful experiences. None of us is innocent.

Because this class was heavy and got personal, I have not much to write about here. But it stamped a truly important lesson: that of truly seeing. And it is my hope that you see me. Before you draw me, see me. Before you confine me, see me. Before you label me, see me. truly and nakedly see!
And this is what the native traditions of greeting teach me. In all of these greetings, all three mentioned herein, the person greeting first stops and focuses their attention on the subject of their greeting, sees them, acknowledges them and allows them a response. It says it is not always about us. And that we must take a moment to come face to face with another’s heart and exchange humility. To address then someone or thing by their or its name means to know what or who you are addressing, or signals the intention thereof.

As we honour each other and our differences; It is my hope then to see you and address you by your name.




My second week I had to come very early to school as were going to facilitate, we had to meet as a group to put final touches to our facilitation. It was a very stressful day for me as it was my first time to facilitate, to make it worse we were the first group to facilitate. I was very nervous and was not sure if was going to pull it off. Well got to class set up the classroom and did our facilitation. To my surprise I did more than I thought I would as I was nervous and I am not really a public speaker. I was very impressed with myself.

11 August – Honouring the difference

By now, I knew exactly what to expect in class.  My confidence was on the high level.  Remember I started the class a week after everyone has started, so in this class I was the “late boomer”.

This week’s group topic was honouring difference.  The group aligned  the topic with different types of hair that we have.  Our hair differs from being relaxed, natural hair, weave, Afro, etc.  Also, they touched on “what your hair say about you” type of argument.   For me the topic was exciting,  but I hoped, another angle was taken  other than the hair.

The topic was a bit sensitive for some, and personally I really didn’t know how to participate in the debate or how to answer questions.

Ok, maybe I’ll come back and re-write about this.

Till later, I’ll finish up later.

My first day at Wits Plus Facilitation Skills class

My first day in class I arrived early, I was given a workbook took a seat and I didn’t know what to expect, all I knew was that the class was about facilitation. I was given a laptop to put in my name and few minutes later there was a bag going around where we had to pick out a number and I was confused I didn’t know what that number was for  later on I discovered that the number was for determining which group you are in. I met my group members, very good people, and we were chosen to be the first group to facilitate the following week, I thought that was really unfair as we’ve just met as a group and we had only few days to prepare for the facilitation.

4 August – Story telling

It was my second time attending the class.  The group that was facilitating’s topic was STORY TELLING.  This was the group that really opened my eyes and demonstrated what facilitation was all about.  The group did not present – I repeat, the group did not share a presentation with us, but the facilitated.

They had a “main” person who was in charge.   The guy in charge was the one “controlling” what the story was going, controlling the time, he was in charge.  He is the one that kept the audience glued and wanted to here “whats next, or tell me more”.

In class as well the atmosphere was different than previously.  We listened, we participated when we were given an exercise to do.  I enjoyed the story telling.  I have taken what I have learnt and I have identified what I wouldn’t want to do when it was time for me and my group to facilitate.


Week 7

I was a bit confused at first arriving to class in a set up that seemed like I was about to write an exam with the papers out on the tables but overall their presentation was quite informative. Time management is really an outstanding tool as it helps with balancing my school life, family and social life. We then did an activity “ the wheel of life”, it was a great exercise that made me realize that the amount of time I spend doing things that aren’t really much of a priority could, well should be invested in things that are a big priority.

Hey, We Are Telling Stories.

Yeay! Or, maybe nay.

Telling stories and storytelling aren’t the same. One is often riddled with fabrication  while the other is derived from observation. Both are expression. Both can and have to do with experience, lived or observed is unimportant. The point: we are surrounded by stories. we are influenced by stories. we are products of the stories told  us and told of us, those stories we tell of ourselves, to ourselves and about others and the world. we are the story.

How does one come to terms with their story?

Envictus! The danger of the single story. Triggers. Unconscious bias. Assumptions. This was the unfolding of the group’s facilitation. It dawned on me that we chanel that which we want to hear, someone called it confirmation bias, hearing only that which we want. It was interesting what the stories unpacked. The African Dress had the small group I was in in a heated conversation.

The exercise of identifying the facilitator in each story played a major role in tapping into one consciousness unconsciously. The process of being clear on the current situation, the desired state, the qualities of the facilitator and how they created change had me leave class and actively seek out such.

This in turn brought a level of awakeness in one’s daily living and engagement with the world. We tend to be lost in our devices and inside our heads. I am guilty of that. But this exercise made me want to see the stories unfold. To be awake and involved in the unfolding of my day, myself and my world.

Great many stories are riddled with trauma of some sort. A conditioning derived from one’s nurture and environment.  To reckon with one’s story is to come to peace with self. When a classmate broke open in class about an experience that ached them, I was once again reminded of my own humanity. And of healing: allowing our stories to change us, not own us.

Today’s lesson: mind your story. own your truth. allow others to do the same. For everything else, breathe through the cracks.

what story are you telling?                                                                                              who controls the narrative?



A week later after introduction to the facilitation skills, my syndicate group had to facilitate on week2 on the topic communication via social media. With literally a week, we had to pull workable strings to make it happen. The challenge was that being the first group to facilitate with no full understanding of facilitation approach and framework, we had to rely on research and the reading provided. The day came and indeed we gave it our all, and there were deltas and plus from our audience which we have taken seriously. Should one turn the clock, the approach would be very different. In my view we have done what we could with the capacity and resources at our disposal. It was indeed a great day.

Welcome to facilitation

“Hi, my name is chaos and for the remainder of the day I am gonna fluff your feathers so much you will feel ruffled, the door is open if you do not like discomfort. But hey, you are welcome to stay. Please stay! While you at it pick a number. Did you get a book by the door when you got in? Take a seat and put your name on that apple.”

Well, Ros may have sounded a lot kinder and gentler in that first class but between the chaos on the green board chalk written calender that kept being shuffled and changed, the whistle and the overcrowded class – my anxiety screamed those exact words, line by line. Her exact words: welcome to the eye of the needle.

Well, I do not mind chaos (my own, that is) but Roslyn’s class had me a tad bit uncomfortable. I picked the number 10 and walla I was paired and packaged to build relationships. Really? First day?! Don’t you know I hate groups!? Bite the bullet babe, it’s for marks. Points, remember? Sanity kicked back in and I embraced the storm.

Welcome to the eye of the needle! Profound and poetic to say the least. And all this unfolding does not prepare you for what comes next, all the Aha moments that come as the weeks go by and classes flow. But the lesson for this first class is: what seems is not always what is and what is is not always what seems, so; trust the process.


the facilitation skills is a life tool kit, it really  sounds different as when you first hear about it you might think you will go into a lecture room and be thought how to stand in front of people and present but it a package of communications skills, how to manage relationships, conflict resolutions I am looking forward for every Saturday to learn more.

viva agents of change

Chaos Ensues

Welcome, we are live on social media. Let’s chat!

First, boundaries, shall we? “Speak from the eye (I), remember; “the success of any intervention relies on the interior of the intervenor”, when it’s over it’s over”, in the simple tongue of the queen it’s three rules: listen, respect, and suspend judgement. If you wanna take it to the Lord, do unto others as you will them do unto you! Let’s engage…

Who are you?                                                                                                                         
Hau?! Ros, it’s only the second week. Why are you getting deep?! What brought you here?                                                                                                 
Heh? Aa ausi, o serious?                                                                                              Not a conversation. 5 minutes to answer the question. Tell us more until your time is up. No feedback!                                              Yhu! Ku rough mos la.                                                                                                       
Your time begins now… (she starts the red dripping clock)                            I am Rethabile, a lover of words and a forever learner…

So, here we are; round robin and corn popping, checking in and dancing and every now and then stepping up on to the balcony. We are breaking the ice and learning to skate. The chaos ensues!

Deltaplus: relief. group 10 is no longer being separated or incorporated with the morning class. phew! downer. 2 of our members have left and started with a new group. nooooooooo!

Check-in: anxiety from group uncertainty. hella nervous and uneasy taking in new members, how will they be, what issues. Nkosi yam, I am tired of these group situations. expanding the group makes me uncomfortable.

I am watching Group 2 learn to swim in the sea. My heart wants for more and it’s left there. How to communicate this unmet expectation? Lessons on giving feedback. Wow, are we wired to note down only the bad? What of our triggers? Maybe this class has a point after all.

Today’s lesson: be reminded of your own humanity. what you say of another is so too a reflection of yourself. remember kindness. be honest and authentic. And “when you are talking to a group of a large audience, look for a pair of kind eyeballs.

give and gravitate towards kindness.


Unconscious Bias

I believed I was a very fair person until this class showed me my real face. I am mindful of others feelings, that’s probably why no one sees through my bias. I can say the most brutal thing in the nicest of way. This to be was assertiveness, but the truth is that I was very judge-mental and thought I was the only person anywhere at any time with the most awake brain. Don’t get me wrong I respect everyone regardless of their social standing but I am very judge-mental. With the help of this class I am learning and listening more to others, collaborating with them in finding solutions to their problems without thinking I have the best resolution…and often that tends to help in coming up with the best result.

The Dance

This was a favourite hobby of mine, engaging in the dance. Frustrating myself and others and not seeing any other way for a full seven years. I was scared of failure and not confirming to social norms, so I engaged in the dance telling myself that I was working on it and going to resolve all the issues by constant engagement.

Seven years later when God’s grace put me on the balcony I realized that it was not up to me. I had to accept that it was over and no amount of dancing would remedy the relationship. It was an out of body experience that made me realize that the dance was changing me to the core and not for the better. I had to let go of the relationship I had valuable, and start a new one with myself….finding myself again….and again.

This class is now helping me to re-enter the dance over and over again with new positive thinking and understanding that my way is not always right, and accepting others perspectives. From time to time I stand on the balcony and then re-enter the dance with new insights.

Social Media

Social media is a collection of online platforms and tools that people use to share content, profiles, opinions, insights, experiences, perspectives, facilitating conversations and interactions online between groups of people.
Social Networking is the act of connecting on social media platforms. Social Media Today argue that the purpose of social media marketing is to build a brand and increase a brand’s visibility, through building relationships and communicating with potential customers.
I learned different platforms that one can use to communicate with family and friends,the different types of platforms I like are WhatsApp which can be used to communicate with family and friends and its very convenient and cheap at the same time.
The other is Facebook and Instagram,where you can easily communicate with friends from all over the world, you get easy access to pictures and  the lives of other people, it  also updates you on current trends, work and business opportunities.

Resolving Conflict and Building relationships – 25 August 2018

No Compromise!

3 – Source:


I am the biggest culprit of making conflict about me so this class was super helpful to learn that is conflict resolution and building relationship; you have to separate yourself from conflict.


The deeper and close the relationship; the higher the risk of getting hurt. The harder you also have to work at rebuilding that kind of relationship.


Learning to remove yourself from a situation to resolve an issue or to see it different or with new eyes allows you to learn new things. Unlearning old ways of doing things is not easy.


Types of Conflict Resolution Styles are:

  • Avoiding the Conflict: Avoiding or withdrawing from a conflict involves no courage or consideration for the other party. Avoiding conflict, means pretending that it never happened or does not exist.
  • Giving In: Giving in or compliance to the other party involves a lot of cooperation and little courage. You agree to accommodate the other party by allowing and tolerating their point of view or suggestion.
  • Standing your Ground: While standing your ground involves courage, it can also be selfish. By applying this style; you are fundamentally competing with the other party; you will do anything to ensure that you win the battle.
  • Compromising: Compromising/Bargaining is a big step toward conflict resolution. Both courage and consideration are used when both parties look for common ground.
  • Collaborating: Collaboration plays a major role within conflict resolution and necessitates unlimited bravery and much thought.


 I concede that as difficult as it is to give in or compromise; these techniques can help build relationships in the end.

Week 4: Honouring differences

On this day, group facilitated on honouring the difference, what I thought was most confusing is how facilitators were wearing the different cultural outfits but representing a different culture. I later discovered that this was very much deliberate. This was the groups ways of showing diversity. I really enjoyed this facilitation, got to know about Shaka Zulu, which some of the facts I wasn’t aware of.

We later split into our syndicate groups unpacked this topic some more. It was also highlighted that as much as we are different we are similar at a certain level.  we also discussed the different phases all cultures go through, from birth, Initiation, marriage and death.T this for me was so interesting and also I realized in most cultures women I expected to allow the men to be coming up the rules and women need to just follow. This is something that is still very much prevalent and as woman we need to understand. I think this is a broader topic for another day as it is  so close to my heart.

This also brings me to topics discussed regarding substance and form. The amount of work one puts into preparation will show once one is facilitating a group.  The most one that I will attempt to use in my everyday life is being open to the outcome and not attached to the outcome. This for me applies in my everyday life. When I meet knew people I don’t place then in a box and decide this is who they are but allow the process of getting to know them. Just like this facilitation class, I came in with preconceived ideas and luckily enough my mind changed almost in the first session. I am learning to be more open to outcomes and not attached to the outcome.

Seeing with New Eyes and Freeing your mind – 18 August 2018

You are different therefore, you are invisible to me.

2 – Source:


An exercise from this day opened my eyes to other people’s realities, it made me less complaisant and more appreciative of opportunities I have as opposed to others in different/difficult circumstances than me.


We are more inclined to associate ourselves with people we think we have commonalities with like a set of values, etc. This is known as Bias. One of the typical examples of this is our social classes or circles.

There are eight types of Bias found on page 115 of the Facilitation workbook. Those are attributions bias, conformity bias, similarity bias, contrast effect, beauty bias, gender bias, gender bias, ethnicity bias and in/out group bias.


This is one of the reasons we do not see homeless people because we do not associate ourselves with them. They become invisible to society.


Freeing your mind

If you do not open/free your mind to learning or trying new things or testing theories; you are depriving yourself of information or solutions to problems.


The tapping therapy also known as the EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is different from traditional healing techniques. I personally liked this therapy but I do not think that I would try this exercise to calm myself if a dog approaches me because I might get bitten for not getting away from harm.

Some of the key take aways from this day were:

  • Rational
  • Fact / data
  • Assumption / perception


When reading it is important to separate facts from perception. Separate facts from interpretation or assumption of meanings based on feelings.


My assumptions and or belief leads to how I select data, which leads to how I take decisions or action.

Are you more sensible when making decisions?

Honouring difference – 11 August 2018

Not only are we learning in different ways; we are a very diverse nation.

Learning more about yourself (self-actualisation) helps one identify commonalities to people you may think you have nothing in common with.


The team that facilitated this week, demonstrated commonalities and differences amongst different cultures and population groups found in South Africa.


What you find interesting in cultures is that we have rituals around the same or similar events and those include:

  1. Birth
  2. Initiation
  3. Marriage
  4. Death


Part of honouring difference is recognising that we learn differently.


Some of the different ways of learning are:

  • Visual (spatial): those would prefer using images and resounding understanding
  • Aural (auditory-musical): those who prefer hearing. They prefer audio/sound and music.
  • Verbal (linguistic): those prefer using words, both in speech and writing.
  • Physical (kinaesthetic): these learners prefer using their bodies, hands and sense of touch. They prefer feeling things.
  • Logical (mathematical): these leaners prefer using logic, thinking and structures.
  • Social (interpersonal): these people prefer to learn in clusters/groups or with other people.
  • Solitary (intrapersonal): these learners prefer to work alone or independently of others..


I have decided to get more information on the Swazi people’s culture and origin. We will see how that plays out because my dad is Swazi but he has no information about his people…



Story telling – 4 August 2018

Be the difference you want to see

It is amazing how we learn by getting involved and discussing topics that we would not necessary get involved in. an excellent facilitator creates an experience for learners, asks questions instead of being expects in every topic, provokes the information we already know which results in lasting learnings because learners look for the answers.


The Facilitator needs to create a learning environment that:

  1. Encourages listening mindfully to others
  2. Listening to connect
  3. Listening without judgement
  4. Encourage smaller groups to allow everyone to have a voice in group discussions


One of the best learnings from story telling that I have come across is Lean in by Sheryl Sandberg who talks about her journey as a woman in corporate and facing her challenges but taking the stunts to make the change that she wants instead of waiting for others to do it. This is proof that challenges that women face; need to be addressed by women. Therefore, women need to be in positions of influence that will influence the changes they want to see.


Do I still want to be a teacher? Is that going to address the issues I have or not?


Communication via social media – 28 July 2018

How can I use social media (Blogs) positively when I do not know much about it? 

The group that facilitated on this day really researched this topic. The key take away here was leaning what different social platforms and their uses. Social media bring different and immediate means of sharing information and teaching practice.


Information is ever changing and evolving so, we need to be open to different learning techniques. Learners are different and have different learning preferences.


Readers can read and interact by giving feedback in Blogs meaning there is a lot of interaction, which helps, in deep knowledge. Blogs can provide an alternate venue for students to share their ideas especially those that prefer not to speak in class. Facilitators or Professors can use this platform to outline course outline, course information, scheduling information, research, homework, etc.


“Social media is a new form of communication and consists of a variety of commutation tolls such as, blogs, collaborative projects, social networking sites, content communities and virtual world” (Kaplan and Haenlein, 2010). I found this link very useful in understanding why academics should use social media for communication.

My first day in Facilitation – 21 July 2018

Appreciating the chaos before my eyes!

http://1 – Source:

How can I be late on my first day! This is not what I do!

I went to campus expecting that class would start at 9:00am as inducted however, class started at 8:30am therefore, that caused a lot of anxiety.

We were welcomed to class and asked to grab a seat. We quickly found seats and oh boy, the class was full and loud.

I liked the fact that classmates were very helpful to the “late comers”; they quickly pointed what they were discussing for us to follow the discussion.

  • We picked numbers out of a paper bag that lead to us being part of syndicate groups. I was so relieved because we were getting to the structure, which I prefer.
  • The large group was divided to 2 classes, that is, the morning and afternoon class. A smaller group meant, going forward, the noise levels will be better and being 1.52 centimeters tall, I would not struggle seeing the chalkboard.

Little did I know that chaos was at a doorstep; we had groups and discussed the topic however, that quickly changed. Another group became part of our group. I wanted the day to be over because I could no longer contain the frustration building up!

One thing that was clear was that I needed to change my mind-set quickly because my goal was to come here to learn and it was not happening.

The next chaos was around the calendar. What are we doing? Am I the only one that keeps holding back tears?

Key take aways: we left knowing the following:

  1. Our syndicate group members
  2. The course structure
  3. The calendar was clear
  4. We don’t need desks like in a traditional class

Resolving Conflict


Conflict refers to some form of friction between two or more parties when the beliefs or actions of one or more members of the group to do not agree ,or if they are resistant or unacceptable.

Conflict is caused by many factors but the most common ones are misunderstandings, poor communication, lack of planning and frustration. I have personally learned that you cannot resolve a conflict if the other party is not willing to accept their mistakes.

Conflict can be resolved by remaining calm and avoiding negative talk and compromising and allowing the other person to talk,in some cases it can be resolved.




This week is the second full day 08:00 – 16:30. Group six is my group. We thank God that we nailed it and received a good feedback from the class, really we were prepared for this day, and we manage to use our tools correctly on point.

We were talking about Resolving Conflict between us as group members. We used 5 tools that we think can help conflict.
1. Controlling Approach To Conflict
2. Avoiding Approach To Conflict
3. Accommodation Approach To Conflict
4. Compromise Approach To Conflict
5. Collaboration Approach To Conflict.
The one that was our major weapon or stood out for us was Collaboration. Collaboration approach to conflict is to manage it by maintaining interpersonal relationships and enduring that all parties to the conflict achieve their interests.

Introduction to Facilitation Skills

Day one of the facilitation skills was one interesting day, having walked in a class with no idea what to expect or rather presumed that facilitation class was going to be like a traditional formal lecture class but to my surprise I found the complete opposite. We had to know each other by introduction with a person or group next to you. The next thing as I was expecting a lecture, we were asked to move tables around to open the floor. On the other hand, the facilitator is writing the program for the term on the board which I really didn’t understand why the facilitator don’t just send the program via email or post it on Sakai to safe time but later understood that the facilitator prefers not to utilize technology as part of the program. Given the size of the class, the facilitator had to divide the class into two groups for morning and afternoon. Later created syndicate groups which will be maintained for the rest of the course and assigned facilitation topic which each group will have to facilitate. I was so overwhelmed to know that my syndicate group will be doing facilitation the next week on the interesting topic with the tittle named communication via social media.

Week 6

Resolving conflict.  Interesting topic, the question is how to resolve conflict?  I have learnt different ways how to solve conflicts. Conflict is not necessarily destructive, however.  When managed properly, conflict can result in benefits for both parties. You must understand that we are different, you don’t need to be right but you need someone to see that you are right.  Conflict becomes negative when it is left to escalate to the point where people being to feel defeated.  It is import to come to a common ground and sort out the differences. Few things I have learn.  First approach the situation, its best to face conflict with constructive criticism.  Second try to compromise, compromise involves give and take on both side. It is not about whose right and whose wrong but it is about reaching an agreement.  Avoid or avoiding this is the last method to use when the other party do not want to compromise.

Week 5

Honoring different cultures, I have learn that we must respect and appreciate other people’s culture as South Africa is made up of different cultures.  This exercises taught me to be patient and understanding when dealing with someone from different culture.  Someone else’s culture is just as normal as mine. Roselyn shared about a Zulu culture and portrayed King Shaka as an intelligent man. And how the Zulu King approach difficult situations. This raise question about what we read on books.

Day 6 Resolving Conflict/ Building Relationships (25 August 2018)

As I checked today’s actual topics on the calendar before class, I though mmm. These two topic relate well together: resolving conflict and building a new relationship, I was anxious of what i’d learn and discover more about myself.

Resolving Conflict:

The 1st group portrayed the different personalities well on how different people handle conflict differently. The personality which spoke more to me was the “Compromiser” as I tend to just let go for the sake of peace. We shared a few of our conflict experiences and sometimes you realise that the way you handled it could have been better.  It all boils down to taking a step backing and asking yourself how you are contributing to the conflict.



Building Relationships: 

The Icebreaker with the second facilitation basically summed up the point they were trying to get across about building a relationship is about working together. When we broke the topic down with Ros it was quiet interesting as she explained the cycle of a relationship, I even put it on my desktop as a reminder of the steps I need to go through for maintaining a healthy relationship wherever I am.



Week 4

Week 4


The topic of the day was different cultures. The presenting group decided to wear attires with different colours. No late comers were allowed inside the class while the group was presenting.

Honouring different cultures, I have learned that we must respect and appreciate other people’s culture as South Africa is made up of different cultures.  This exercises taught me to be patient and understanding when dealing with someone from different culture.  Someone else’s culture is just as normal as mine. Roselyn shared about a Zulu culture and portrayed King Shaka as an intelligent man. And how the Zulu King approach difficult situations. This raise question about what we read on books.


Week 3

I enjoyed the presentation by the Group3.  The use of the story and pictures as a facilitating tool was a good idea. But the use of the sticks didn’t work because it was killing the momentum.

Story telling is an interesting tool if is used correct to pass a message to your audience. People relate better on stories than facts. From the presenting group I learn that your story must be relevant to the theme. Must lead from behind, give the audience to lead but must be ready to help when needed. Eye contact with your audience is very much important while presenting. You must not spend a lot of time talking but you must engage your audience.   As a facilitator you don’t need to be an expect. Every feedback is important either positive or negative.  And must be able to take critics and work on your weak points.  A good example is a story of Rafting. Two instructors with two different facilitation skills. Buzz sound more of an instructor his training skill instil fear to the group and there is no room for mistakes.  While Kiwi is more relax trainer which allow his trainees to try things on their own.  Kiwi let the team take charger, this is lead from behind. This technic allowed them to learn and notice thing other things. I would like to use Kiwi’s facilitation technics in future.  I learn that a great facilitator would make sure everyone participates. At the end everyone has a story to tell.



Week 2



Communication via social media, I learned that social media is a very important tool of communication and that it can be used for multiple purposes not only for personal as I thought. I only spend time on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I realized that I am not open minded when it comes to social media platforms and that I only accept what the world is showing me without applying my mind and exploring other platforms and that I did not think of greater benefits of social media like marketing, research, business ideas etc. I only saw social media as an informal communication tool between friends.  Before I never knew anything about Pinterest and I am glad that now I know about this wonderful communicating platform.

Rosslyn explained what was her observation and further explained to the class the difference between facilitation and presentation, her explanation was an eye opener as she went on giving us tips about how to engage with our audience. This was an eye opener for me because I can use this skill while I am conduction in house safety training.

Week 1



After attending the English class, I was just expecting the familiar faces on the first day.  First we got lost inside the FNB building. Finally, I got the place but to my surprise there were lot of people than what I was expected

Suddenly someone gave me a number. It was number 11.  The instruction was to search for people with the same number.  I got other six members with the same number as me and we introduce ourselves to each other.

The next instruction was to write our topic that we have to represent mid-September as group 11.  Rosely explain what is facilitation.  She explain the different between being a Facilitator and instructor.

Being a facilitator is different to being a teacher or an instructor. This is the first thing I learn on the first day of the class. Create a safe and free learning environment for your audience. Introduction should have a question. Be clear about your expectation and repeat them at the end of the session. A facilitator learns from his/her audience, while the audience is getting knowledge. You must have a good communication skills and have clear objectives. Good preparation, thoroughly research and able to engage the audience is important when facilitating.  Facilitation tools must be relevant to the theme.  Tools that you can use for your facilitation programme are, 3D pictures, stories, games and groups. Let the audience answer questions.  A good facilitator will encourage, leads by example and create a strategy to convey the message across. Have a feed back at the end of the session.

Self-reflection – Week 2

Kudos to the first group.

They did the best they could considering the little time they had to prepare for their facilitation, they didn’t have enough time to prepare.

Even though their topic was fairly easy because it was about Social Media and majority of the us was familiar with the topic however some of the audience were not familiar with other social networks like Pinterest, WeChat amongst others – It was an eye opener for me because I took it for granted that everybody is familiar with all social platforms available that took over our lives. The only thing that was missing for me were the disadvantages of social media, less was mentioned.

What stood out for me it’s when we did an exercise about the Check-In.

As a person who leads a team, often times I am required to do self-reflection, check-in on myself to see if I am meeting the needs of my team members and if I’m holding the end of the bargain. I must say that it is not an easy exercise to follow through given of the number of people within the team.

The purpose of check-ins is to bring concerns and issues into the open during huddles and/or formal meetings and be in a position to say what’s on your mind without having any reservations. It is about having open discussions in a group and taking into consideration that we all have different views.

New Beginnings (Day 1) – 21 July 2018

So, the first thing that came to mind was – Did I make the right decision?????

I was overwhelmed by the number of people registered for this course. I really battled, I was constantly flooded with thoughts of quitting because we didn’t get to the context of the course.

All I could remember was, we were instructed to pick a number that was written on a piece of paper and we were grouped according to that same number. Each group was allocated a topic to be “presented” in class.

My first impression about Roslyn was that she seemed to be disorganized, she was not sure of what she was doing and she didn’t how to manage a large group! I was expecting her to explain to us what the course is about and to discuss the purpose and the objectives of the course.

I left the class feeling drained and I had a lot of unanswered questions.

… oops! I then realised that she took a non-traditional approach and demonstrated her facilitation skills and in fact she was  in  control of what seemed to be an organized chaos/ mess.

Week 8: Building relationships + Resolving Conflict

Today our session was on resolving conflict, the group presenting this topic did a great job in trying to make the class understand what conflict it and how they can resolve it. I enjoyed it, I remember thinking groups are getting more and more good at this facilitation skills.

We were paired with a team member, expected to listen to their story and understand without judging the situation they were in. It was interesting seeing people personalities, who are good listeners, who don’t judge.

The trick is to listen to an individual without reaching conclusions but rather hearing what they have to say and what they want you to take from their story because as people we create our own understanding.

We also touched on the conflict cycle, that in a relationship say within  two people one the other party is hurt, it takes them a white to reclaim their identity, once they do, the other party now feels hurt. It just made so much sense why some relationships suffer.

One has to know their truth, reality as well as the other persons truth and reality. If only this was easy we would have easy flowing relationships.

Week 4: Honouring Difference

The session began with the facilitation of group 3, whose topic was “Honouring Difference”.  The group focused on the variety of cultures that we enjoy in South Africa.   Each member of the group dressed in a specific cultural attire, which was not their own culture.  This for me was just a beautiful sight, especially after the story we read the previous week “The Africa Dress”, which also spoke about how Mrs. Zanele Mbeki embraced the Afrikaner culture and proudly (and more so bravely) wore it for the world to see.

We had done some homework on Personal Impact and Learning Agility.  The exercise showed us that we are different in the way we think about things, the way we talk and how we talk about things, the way we sort information in our brains works differently for different people.  Most importantly, I learnt that it is possible for someone to teach differently to how I learn because we are not ‘wired’ the same.  What grabs my attention, may not be what grabs my neighbor’s attention because I am a visual being, whereas they may be Kinaesthetic.  I now understand why certain things bore me sooner than others.

This session assisted me in realizing that I have to be more aware of how I speak to people, especially at work, when I’m trying to make them ‘see’ my point.  I have to consider that they may not be visual like I am, and therefore I may need to adopt a different strategy in order to make them understand what I’m saying to them.

I learnt that there’s a difference between introvert and a person wo is shy, and an extrovert and a vocal person.  I am more of an introvert, but I don’t necessarily struggle to express myself.  I tend to think before I speak, which may be mistaken as being ‘slow’.  It is no use talking without thinking because then there’s usually no substance to what is being said (Substance & Form).

Week 3 – Story Telling

I was a bit taken aback by this session of “Story Telling”.  We had a variety of stories to read through and I found myself reflecting on my own life experiences.

In this session, I realized that people are more inclined to respond favourably to stories, rather than facts.  They are more engaged.

The story “The Bent Backs of Chang Dong” made me realize that people, in general, are usually very resistant to change.  It is important to consider the right strategy for the right audience if you wish to change people’s perspective of something.  It even becomes more difficult when something is considered to be a life-long tradition.  I learnt that sometimes it is better to influence via actions rather than ‘telling’.

The story of “The African Dress” was one that hit very close to home.  With our history in South Africa, it is important to reflect on how far we’ve come and what people have done and gone through in order for us to have the freedom we now enjoy.  This story highlights the importance of engaging in dialogue in order to bring people of different cultures together.

I learnt the following lessons about good facilitation;

-Create an environment that is conducive for learning

-Provoke thoughts

-Enable people

-Know your audience

My “aha! moment” was when our facilitator made me realize that, more often than not, African stories are about “Mother nature” or the woman as a creator.  However in Western stories, the man is the creator (incl. the Bible).  I hadn’t thought about this before, but for some reason it really fascinated me.

We also spoke about the different rituals within our respective cultures and I got an opportunity to understand a bit more about other cultures.  And in this process, I realized that we are not as different as we think we are.  In fact, we are more the same.

Communicating via Social Media

Group 1 facilitated under the topic “Communicating via Social Media” and I was very impressed with how prepared they were, especially because they only had a week to prepare.  Not to mention they were going to be the very first team to do this exercise.

This group focused on Pintrest, which I was really excited about since I did not know much about this social media application.  I liked the idea of using pictures and getting us to try and figure out where they belonged.

I got to learn how to register to have an account (or profile) on this App and how it generally works.  The idea behind it is interesting to me and I did not understand that this was also considered a communication and learning tool, used around the world.

I have since downloaded the App on my phone and have been very impressed with it generally.  I have gotten so many wedding decoration ideas for my big day, which is a couple of months away.

Week 6: Resolving Conflict

This week we learnt a lot about the different ways of resolving conflict.  Again, it goes back to personalities.

My aha! moment was wrapped up in this quote, “The meaning of your communication is the response the other person has”.  This means that whatever intention you have for whatever you’ve said to the other person, is not relevant to the other person because how they receive it is what they consider to be the true meaning.  Many times we speak without thinking about our tone, the words we choose, the environment we are in, and our different personalities in general.   As long as it sounds good for us, then it should be good for the next person.

We went through a few exercises concerning communication.  When we ask someone something, we often don’t think about what it is that we are actually trying to accomplish.  We make assumptions about people and when they fall short, we are unhappy about the outcome.  We also seldom say what we are feeling or thinking.  We try and find ways to dilute our true feelings and thoughts so as to not be seen as too emotional or rude.

Very often than not, the behaviours we don’t like or hate when people do, are the very same behaviours other people see in us (and sometimes we see them in ourselves as well, if we are honest about it).  We are quick to judge others and forget to self-reflect.

Week 5: Seeing with New Eyes

The facilitation of “Seeing with New Eyes” was very well done.  We had been wondering why we had been asked to bring old shoes to class on this day.  I have to say, I loved the suspense element.

The group focused on ‘walking in someone else’s shoes’ and made us realize how uncomfortable that may be for a person.  Quite frankly, the majority of the class did not want to wear any other shoes, but their own.  The thought of putting my feet in a stranger’s shoes made me feel uneasy and I decided I was not going to wear them.

The whole point of this exercise was to make us think about how homeless people live and how they have to take anything they’re given by strangers on a daily basis, just to make it through the day.  The made me really emotional because I started thinking about how I would survive in an environment like that.  Not being “seen” as a person.  I know that I’m also guilty of shying away from homeless people at the robots, especially when it seems unsafe.  We drive by and promptly close our windows as soon as a homeless person approaches.  I do give clothes and food, and sometimes even money to homeless people.  However, it depends on the area in which I’m driving at.  But what I realized after this session is that I don’t ever talk to these people I have such strong compassion towards.

The stigma of what a homeless person is, is something that we need to focus on changing.  There is no “us” and “them”.  We are all human and being homeless can happen to anyone of us in an instance.  That should not make you any less of a person.  Our constitution says that all individuals have a basic right to dignity, and I will do my best to my part to ensure that I change my mindset about homeless people.

Story telling!!

Another day, another presentation. I couldn’t wait to get into the class, sit down and listen to the group who will be presenting. The reason why I was so nervous and anxious, is because our group was next to the following week present and the previous group set such a high standard.

Today’s topic is “Storytelling”.

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This group has done such an excellent job (presenting). Firstly they reminded me of the good old days when we use to sit around the wood fire and granny would tell us stories until very late at night. Some of her stories were so scary such to an extent that some of us would battle to sleep thinking that the Kgolomodumo (big ugly dangerous animal) that eat kids who do not want to listen, refuse to send and disrespect the elders.

Yes, I agree with this team, storytelling is the best tool/method of communication especially for kids.

I have learned so much from this group. Another high standard set and more fear in me especially taking into consideration that our team only met once and battling to meet again due to the distance apart.

Thumps up for this second group for breaking the ice for me!

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Week 5 – Seeing with New Eyes

This week’s topic was quite emotional (I didn’t cry or anything like that) it just really hit me hard, because I see these homeless people on a daily basis, I refer to them as “these people or those people” but why do I refer to them as though they are less than human? why do I think I am different from “them” am I better? What makes me think they are less? Do I even know who they were before they landed on the streets, have I stopped to think about that or are they just invisible to me?

These are the questions I started asking myself while the syndicate group continued to facilitate. It became clear to me that I never really give a second glance to a homeless person, I never ask myself what could have happened to this person, and then a funny thought just came to mind… Whenever we face extreme whether especially at night I often think about people who don’t have shelter, I wonder how they survive, so maybe I do think of them in my own weird way but just cannot bare to think of their reality and what they go through each day, I don’t want to think of their hardships because it somewhat makes life very unfair and unbalanced.

Week 4 – Honoring Differences #Celebrating Diversity

Today’s topic was honoring differences. The syndicate group that was presenting did very well in educating us on different cultures, and I got see how beautiful diversity is and even though we are different and have different cultures, there are some rituals that are common to every culture, these are Birth, Marriage, Initiation and death.

Last week we touched a little upon these rituals, but we didn’t have enough time to discuss everything, so this week especially with the topic being “Honoring differences” we all got to talk through this rituals and it was quite fascinating to learn about people’s culture and rituals, what I also absolutely enjoyed is how open people were. A few myths here and there were corrected about certain things we knew to be true about other culture. My eyes were opened to the fact that if you ask genuinely because you want to understand, your questions will definitely be answered. We truly have a beautiful county and what makes it even more so is its diversity.

Week 3 – Story Telling

The day had finally come. It was our turn to present or rather facilitate our topic, which was Story telling. We met 3 times during this week, last night we met to put the finishing touches on each of our parts in the facilitation and also to arrange seating for our audience tomorrow. We also arrived at 7:30 today just for final rehearsals.

At 8:00 am people came in and we were ready to start. In the beginning we had a few disruptions as people who were late were coming in, so we decided to lock the door, so that people don’t disrupt. The facilitation went on and it was absolutely brilliant!

Nervous as we all were (besides Tshika, he is kind of like our anchor) we all pulled through beautifully. I am so proud of each and every one of us, we did well. What was supposed to happen was exactly what happened, the audience was engaging and threw challenging questions at us and we did our best to answer them. We also all had the opportunity to talk.

What we took away from this experience is that when facilitating you don’t have to know everything, that a facilitator is not an expect and that it is okay to throw questions asked by the audience back to the audience to discuss, that way everyone is engaged. We also had to make ensure that people at lease took away something from this facilitation, but this was a lesson learned.

The highlight of this day was when Roslyn said that people are more likely to remember a story more than they would data or information, I found this to be so true and yet I had never realized it over the years. Story telling plays a huge role in how we learn.

Week 2 – The Balcony and the Dance

Last week after being split into groups, each group was given a topic which they would need to research and present on each week. Today the first group presented, their topic was social media (they chose Pintrest as their topic) and they were apparently exceptional! Unfortunately I didn’t get to see the presentation as I was late again! The group that presented really got my team mates shook, it is our turn to present next week and everybody is in a panic about how good this group’s presentation was, everyone but me.

I am panicked, but not about how the great the other group was, I am actually glad that I missed the presentation otherwise I was going to be as worried as everyone else. My only worry is how am I going to speak in a room full of people.

Anyway class carried on, today we spoke out about a lot of things including check-ins and check-outs, the importance of setting expectations, principles of engagement and the stretch zone.
What really stood out for me from today’s class was the exercise about the balcony and the dance, I say that because I personally dwell so much on things happening around me and most times miss the bigger picture focusing on smaller details. I learned the importance of stepping away from what is currently happening around you and assess the situation from the outside and see how much perspective you can get from doing that. The balcony and the dance has opened my eyes, and from now on when things start to get overwhelming I am going to step away a little and try and look at things from a different perspective.

Week 6 – Resolving Conflict

I especially enjoyed this weeks’ facilitation, because it talked about conflict resolutions, because I most often don’t know how to deal with conflict. I am always between being responsive, which might mean I end up in a more messier situation or keeping quiet and risk being walked all over as I feel like if you don’t stand up for yourself people are likely to disregard you or your feelings because you never want to engage in a sort of conflict.

I have however learned that it is wise to assess situations and that there are some situations where your just got to let things be for the sake of peace, whereas in some situations you have to stand firm and defend yourself or rather engage in this conflict to reach an amicable decision. The key for me to resolving conflict is admitting when you are wrong and knowing when to keep quite.

Week 1 – Facilitation

First of all I got to the right building at 9:20 in a panicked state, I am late! I thought I was 20 minutes late since the communication some of us got was that class started at 9:00 am (class started at 8:00 am by the way), so actually I was almost 1 and ½ hours late.

So I take the staircase down to facilitation class, this after me and a few of my colleagues got lost trying to find the building we are supposed to be in (see Wits main campus is like a mini province) and as I take the last sort of 3 or 4 steps I see this room full of people, see in my mind I thought It would only be people I attend English classes with during the week, well I was sorely mistaken! I think there was about close to 150 people in that room (ok I am exaggerating maybe 100).

I get to my seat and as I as I am about to settle in, a black cute paper bag is passed on to me to pick a number out of the bag, while trying to pick a number we are told to put the desks to the side of the room along with the chairs. Chaos erupts! I am confused! I haven’t a clue what is going on. I get out of my chair, put it to the side and as I am about to put my desk to the side, my colleagues whom I attend class with during the week come to my desk and there’s immediately a lot of people where my desk was (all the late comers trying to pick a number)

We were all divided into smaller groups and the class split into two. I ended up with 5 complete strangers, this was going to be interesting. There is 5 girls including myself and 1 guy. By the end of the class I felt somewhat connected to these people, everyone gave the other person a chance to voice out their views, no question was stupid, everyone was so considerate of the next person’s feelings and there is mutual respect amongst us all.

What a refreshing experience 😊 Unusual but refreshing. I feel like I came out of my shell a little bit today.
Don’t ask me what I learned from the text book today, because I have NO idea. I don’t think I even opened the text book today. One thing I DID learn is how to be adaptable and survive in an unfamiliar environment.



I was now nervous, tired and physically drained, worse part is that we had to be in class from 8h00 to 16h30. This week was hard because other than being sick myself I was more worried about my Son who was not feeling well.

Anyway when we got to the class the group was ready to facilitate. They asked us to pick up a pair of shoes and put them on. The lesson was about being homeless, the emotions a homeless person go through on a daily basis. I realized being homeless makes you accept anything you are given,u appreciate little things that other people don’t even bother to pray for. It then changed how I see things.

We discuss bias into details like what is the Attribution bias, Conformity bias, Similarity bias, Contrast Effect, Gender bias , Ethnicity bias and more.We also discussed about unconscious bias and the different types and how our bias are influenced by either,culture, beliefs, values and personal experiences. The lecturer also highlighted how easily a perception can create bias.

Communication via Social Media

Another day, another Facilitation Class. Walking through the door, my mind is busy trying to figure out what the 1st presenting had to offer. I sympathized with not knowing that being the first group to facilitate.

The group introduced me to the world of Pinterest.

Image result for Communication via media pinterest

I must be honest, when the presenting group mentioned their topic “Communication via Social Media, a few things came to my mind. i.e. Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

The group was well prepared. I enjoyed their team spirit and learned a lot of things from them. I must say the whole presentation was more real and factual. I added their presentation onto my list of interest things that encourage me to attend the Facilitation class.

I just could not wait to get home and google search Pinterest from the internet and get more details about Pinterest.

Yes, I must admit, we learn every day of our lives. Well done to this group for paving way for the rest of us who were still to present. Thumps up, guys!

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Topic for group 3 was honouring differences. The topic is very complex and informative especially looking at the state our country is in. They were focused on cultural differences amongst South Africans and their different tribes.

The group came dressed in different traditional attires, the presentation blew my mind. The put more emphasis on the importance of appreciating and respecting other cultures, and they finalized by saying we are all different and unique but we all belong to one rainbow nation.



This week I have learned about story telling and story. We were given six stories to read and in each story we had to identify a facilitator. What I learned from the six stories is that in each story there is a facilitator. And those facilitators each had a good qualities,  good  encouragement  to people,they lead by example, they were good teachers, patient and were willing to listen .

We had to read much interesting , amazing and quite educational stories. Like Rafting, The African Dress, Leadership And Commitment and more, but there  are stories that stood out for me were; The Prince And The Magician, The Watermelon Eaters and The Bent Backs Of Chang Dong.

What I Learned Is :
> When you are happy and content you will achieve your goal.
> Everybody is the expect of something,
> Engaging different people, learning two way street
> Illustrating and understanding your audience
> Expecting and understanding sensitive viewers
> Looking forward for what is to come
> Be more professionalism, approachable, more patient and more confident
> Feeling of being happy and accomplishment

My first day at Wits for Facilitation Skills Class

It is a beautiful Saturday morning and the weather is nice. I just arrived at Wits Campus at about 07:15 am. Too excited and couldn’t wait to get into the Facilitation class, I finally got there. Not knowing what to expect, I slowly walked towards the class. In the class, was welcomed by a huge smile from my lecture Roslyn Solomon. The smile did not solve my confusion.

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The most serious challenge was that as a full-time employee who is employed as Facilitator by Transnet Freight Rail, I arrive in class with an attitude like “let me see what this lady has instore forme”. My mind could not stop lying to me that I am Mr. Know-all. As Roslyn was going through the orientation, she mentions something regarding the difference between facilitation and presentation. My mind jammed. I have always been under the impression that presentation and facilitation mean one and the same thing. To date, I still thank Roslyn for asking that kind of a question because that is when I started taking her serious and at the same time, I started appreciating my presence at the campus.

It wasnt long before I started appreciating every moment of Roslyn’s lecturing. The Mr know-all mind-set finished without me even realizing. I found myself being the only leaner listening attentively. Time started flying and I didn’t want Roslyn to stop talking.

Soon after class, the same afternoon I contacted my manager and two of my colleagues and told them that I am now getting educated about the field I worked in for nearly a decade.

The rest is history. Since that day 21 July 2018, I enjoyed every moment of all classes attended and vowed never to miss any class.

I must say, my career is being enhanced here! The more I attend Facilitation classes, the more I enjoy my job!

Week 9: Meaningful Conversations

The facilitation skills class comes as one of those great experiences that corresponds with the evolving consciousness of the entire planet. All life forms are undergoing a planetary shift and these are interesting times. We are at the time when we are bound to change our ways or we will experience frustration caused by historical egoic mind patterns. This course is an enabler for one to look within and realise the oneness that permeates all life. When we realise this, it becomes easy to develop love and shed hard egos that have run the lives of many for eons. I am grateful that I have chosen this course!

Week 8: Meaningful Conversations

Communication has always been the most important thing since time immemorial. In modern times, we are often immersed in what we want to convey instead of receiving a message from the other. For me, the communication is derived from communion. Being in communion means being in a space of oneness with those we communicate. This can be achieved by allowing them the gift of silence and attention. In this way we are being in communion. But once we miss out on this, then the communication becomes meaningless and you have two egos engaging each other in meaningless repetition.

Week 7: Perception

I have missed out on this presentation. But perception is one of the human virtues or traits that defines the reality we manifest. The subject of perception has spiritual significance in that how we perceive the world is reflected on our actions. I know that it is important to train our minds to see positive, or have no thoughts at all and allow the present moment to be as it is. In this way, we access the power of infinite creative intelligence to take course. We do not see and interpret situations and people based on our past experiences or assumptions.

Week 6: Resolving Conflict

The group did well indeed. Conflict is a condition of every relationship because we are all different. The most important thing is to learn to honor difference and sacrifice. We do not necessarily have to lose ourselves, but just recognize that each of us is unique in their own right. The demonstration was marvelous and one has indeed learned one or two things.

Week 5: Seeing with a different eye

Sometimes we walk about, going on with our lives, making money, seeking to achieve this or that and our minds too immersed in our goals. We often miss out on the opportunity to reflect on our inner selves to tap into that realm of consciousness that makes us who we are and steer us into certain behaviors and actions.

We often miss out on the opportunity to reflect on how our desires and goals affects the kind of people we become. We cannot begin to imagine how even our subtle actions impact the world we create for ourselves or how it affects others. This is very important, to say the least.

The group touched on my inner self. It reminded me that we forget that how we wish to be treated, starts with how we treat others. The demonstration about the shoes gave me a deeper perspective around the importance of compassion for others. More than that, it taught me that love for others starts with love for self. If you cannot wear it, then it certainly will be uncomfortable for the next person.

Week 4: Honoring Difference

Whereas the group that gave us the presentation did their best in drawing a picture about the magnitude and importance of cultural difference, I would have loved to see the depth of appreciation of personal and individual difference between persons. It is indeed important to acknowledge cultural differences, but within each culture there is indeed still differences that exists at a deeper level, between different individuals.

The importance of such difference lies in the complexity of varying perspectives which are the basic raw materials of the cultural differences. At a deeper level, we hold different perceptions and perspective about the world and different opinion is based on this. So it would have been nice to see a demonstration of this level of difference so that we can understand the importance of recognizing and respecting difference not only in culture, but also in individual viewpoints. However, the group did well and nothing can be taken away from them.

Getting back into the swing of things

Before we broke for our mid term break we had a session on communication and our stories. This was an eye opening experience for me to realise how one sided y conversations often are. I always thought I was good at listening until we did the exercise. I then came to the shocking conclusion that maybe I am not that good at listening, but rather good at waiting for the next opportunity to speak.

After this we had our mid-term break and i spent much needed time on my work. I have been busy playing catch up at work and family life. Then I realised it was my groups turn to facilitate on the 15th of September and things started getting real. We have spent the last several weekends preparing for our group session as well as returning to class.

All of a sudden I was back in the swing of things and starting to prepare for my next lesson as well as prepping for our presentation. I hope that we do the time justice that we spent preparing for this presentation. I am also excited for some more revelations, as it seems to be the story of my life with this module the last couple of weeks.

Jaco out

Resolving conflict and building relationships

In conflict, one could be the best they can be.  The only thing that can change is you.  You take personal responsibility to be in this place at this time. There is the difference between taking responsibility and taking action. Ros gave an example of a person driving past an accident, the person can decide to pass or stop. However, what remain is the consequences. Conflict was described as a disagreement between two parties. Few ways were shared on how to deal with conflict. We have learnt that some people would decide to avoid dealing with problems, some would just tolerate others just to end conflict and some just conform to whatever that is put on the table to have a peaceful conversation. Energetic conflict is when you always find a way to resolve issues.  Conflict is about the space between me and you.

An advise that stood out was that:

  • Never resolve problems because we see the world our own way.
  • Take responsibility on how you respond to incidents.
  • Take in consideration you won actions, biasness, perceptions before you reach a conclusion to a situation.
  • The path of protection and evolution is influenced by your own thoughts and actions
  • Seeing with different eyes assists in resolving conflicts

We listened to a song retracted from the 8 Miles movie by Eminem. In the song the rapper is setting groups against each other by creating an in-group and out-group biasness.  I learnt that the things we learn from famous people create extreme out group biasness and unconscious biasness can be subtle.

The ice berg taught us about how we select data from what we see or hear and make decisions. The decision spiral also argues that we sense data, select information, interprets data then assume. The data we select reinforces our believes.  We see the world through our own lenses and distort the truth to fit our own picture of the world. We never know what other people are up to until they tell us. Our work as human being is to lower the water line. We all have Reticular Activating System that controls what goes to our brain. This system responds to anything that is perceived as threat to our survival.  It allows us to see what we want to see.



Free your mind and see with new eyes!

On this day one group presented about setting our minds free.  We learnt methods on how to deal with stress which I found very exciting and helpful. What stood out for me was the EFT method of dealing with stress. EFT was described as an Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is something that can be learnt quickly (in a matter of minutes) and can help you to feel better immediately. EFT is often also called “tapping”. EFT involves verbalising the problem or issue in hand whilst using an affirmation phrase and tapping energy points on the body.

Seeing with new eyes

As human beings, we see the world through lessons and the environment dictates that.  Perceptions are gathered by many things. There are much truth and one need to double click words before reaching conclusions.  I was fascinated by the fact that when we were asked on how we perceive being Rich and one guy in class responded that Rich to him is family when the rest of the class thought being rich was about money.  This puts an emphasis on the fact that words carry meanings we are attached to. Do I really double click on word before I reach a conclusion that everyone understands what I am saying?

The way we perceive things is different. What makes us happy does not make the next person happy.  Perception is what we see and our motives are determined by our needs and wants. Human being cannot make assumption but are wired to make assumptions to make meaning of the world. Learning about biasness made me realise that as human beings we tend to make unconscious biasness meaning, we make judgement at a speed of a light without even realizing it.

I have learnt to understand the different types of biasness:

  • Conformity bias – swayed by majority e.g black women and hair. Wearing weaves to sell products. This conforms to the general view.
  • Similarity bias – Gravitational to people who are similar to us.
  • Gender Bias – All CEOs being tall men.
  • Ethnicity – racial bias



The power of story telling

The Power of Story telling

Story is often used in the corporate world as a tool for influence. And for good reason. From a facilitation  point of view, Story can:

  • awaken the leadership potential in everyone
  • create the frame for collective action
  • share the vision and journey
  • illuminate mission, vision, values, and ethics
  • Strengthen the collective field within a group and make “safe enough” spaces to show up firmly, allow the dissenting voice to be heard and enable the hard conversations.

Stories are a potent support in positive change making and positive agent for facillitation.  They carry more weight than facts. We seem to be mesmerized by stories of violence, fear, anger and war. Stories can also be used to help us grow courage, collaboration and connection. It all depends on what we use them for. They can be used for developing potential for positive change

A story of Shaka Zulu (the Zulu warrior).  He changed a long spear to short spear. He had strong and binding values. He did not discriminate and lots of tribes wanted to be part of the Zulu nation. We have learnt from this story that a warrior persevere even in difficult times. And that a resilient community is not the community with more resources, but the one that’s more connected.

Creating spaces for people to meet and share their stories of work, learning and life is an important ingredient in strengthened relationships that lasts. We all have challenges. We all have coping strategies. We all have hopes and dreams, fears and frailties. Listening to others helps us to make sense of the wonderful or frightening mess we find ourselves in. Hearing how others cope encourages self-responsibility and action.

The understanding and community feeling that arises from storytelling can build the foundation for a positive future. “The power of Storytelling”

Week 1

So it’s first day of school and am thankful to God for reaching another milestone in my life. I got to Wits campus around 08:35, and started looking for my class. Because of mixed emotions and feeling nervous, it took me 10 mins to find my class only to find out that I am actually close to an hour late yohhhhh, with such a deep sigh I felt weak on my knees like am about to fall down from shock. Not only that but to see more than 100 students in one class didn’t make it any easier. However because of our lecture I started to relax as she requested us to form group and get to know each other.

The Big Day Is Finally Here

The day had finally arrived. My group was up for Facilitation. Our nerves were kickimg in and we were doimg all we could to psych each other up in preparation for what was going to be a great facilitation.

Our facilitation was on the topic Freeing Your Mind. As expected, as a group, each individual had thier own definition of Freeing Your Mind thus it was challenging to ultimately get to one theme that would best describe Freezing your Mind according to us. We finally opted to go with a destressing theme. We went for the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also known as Tapping.

EFT is a  technique that can be used to tackle feelings of stress, anxiety and frustration by tapping on the 10 meridian points of our energy systems, whilst repeating affirmations ultimately gives relief of those negative emotions.

Our group taught this method to the class for them to use anywhere, anything. A quick tapping session on a hectic day is guaranteed to Free Your Mind.

We got so into our presentation and the class was respondimg so well that we ended up going over our allocated time. But managed to give a good facilitation nonetheless.




Freeing your mind

Hhhhhhhmmm its our turn now I am so nervous as ever because I am not used to standing in front of people and do the talking.

We introduced ourselves to the class and by the way it was not that full the class was split into two but still I was shaking. Well it went well cause each and every one of us had a part to play and big up to my team I mean well done because we taught people to let go of the past hurt to TAP when a person is stressed always smile.

Signing out
Bongiwe Tebesi

Seeing with my eyes

Mmmmmm another day for us I am so nervous cause today we have to present to the whole class and there are two groups performing on this .

Firstly we have to see the other group perform in the morning and later on we are the ones to perform, remember its the full day for all of us. This other team the perform so well because they wanted the whole class to see with a different eye they asked everyone in the class to bring a pair of old shoes so that every one can put their legs into someones shoes and we were asked how does it feel. Some said uncomfortable others didn’t cause they felt it was too much and others their feet didn’t fit at all either big or small.

In conclusion it is said that you need to put yourself in somebody shoes before you judge anyone.”DO NOT JUDGE BEFORE YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PERSON”

Signing out
Bongiwe Tebesi

Week 6 – Resolving conflict / Building Relationships

Presentation Day!!!!!

Today is the second day of the full day class, and I must say we have learned a lot of things, so far I’ve been fascinated by the learning styles; that exercise really taught me that as people we are not the same and we don’t learn the same way. At work, I started to observe how my colleagues were applying these learning styles and shared the left and the right brain lesson with them. It was really interesting. Enough about last weeks learning.


This week my group presented to the class about building relationships and I must say I was super nervous. There were a lot of differences within the group members, but what I learned from it all was regardless of differences, we should always look at the bigger picture, put our egos aside and make things work; and that’s exactly what we did eventually.



It was so interesting the second time in facilitation class and there was order. The group facilitated on social media and they did a wonderful job. Our lecture then unpacked the feedback and gave us methodical tips on how to become a great facilitator. She was able to distinguish between facilitation and presentation and gave us clarification on how to define the two.

Personally I like check in as it does not require any comment, validation or approval. You just report that you have arrived and I love it. We discussed also Managing Situations, The Balcony And The Dance, Stretch Zone, Principle Of Engagement, Check Out and Setting Expectations. To some I know it’s like am talking Spanish but I have learned also. I guess is true knowledge is power.


Conflict is everywhere, whether is at work with management meeting, with colleague for example during a specific project, with friend and family member. The bottom line is that every day we experience conflict and how we resolve it is no easy but we need to come up with strategy that can resolve conflict. Week 6 was the second full day class. The group open the facilitation with conflict acting. They were well prepared and research their topic. I enjoyed their facilitation class. The group shows us strategy that I personally can use to resolve conflict, even though at the end of the day one person may disagree but one need to know how to deal with conflict.


It was a full day class after break tired, the second facilitation group, the minutes I walk inside the class I saw some emojos pictures on the wall and in the windows. The members of the group introduce themselves with smile on their face. They gave us mojo ball, with word writing on. We were able to participate in a group of four people and share some ideas. One member of the group did an excises with us that we should do whenever we feel overwhelm of stress to free our mind. The lecture divided us in two big group were we have to write positive and negative word on the chalkboard. What I took home from that day is that people experience different thing in life and your positive thing can be negative to other person.


During the week I got email that I need to come with per of shoes. On Saturday in class we were asked to put those shoes we came with inside the basket. the other lady ask us to pick any per of shoe, then after they ask us to put on those shoes  most of us refuse, i personally did not fill comfortable to wear a stranger shoes and not know what the excises was all about. Then it was explain to us the topic of week 5, seeing with different eyes. How would you feel, putting yourself in someone shoes. I was touched by the story of one lady within the group, who when undercover to experiments how people who live on the street live and how it feels to belong on the street. You need to belong to in-group to be part of any group you want to categories yourself with. The group had different celebrity pictures and some of them were living on the street before they became successful in their career. I learned that people who live in the street they have different circumstance that brought them in the street and the is a light at the end of the tunnel.


In group 3 they were facilitating a topic called honouring difference cultures that we have in South Africa as a rainbow nation. There more we learn and gain knowledge, the better understanding we have. We start to see what the group was supposed to improve and what they did not touch on. However I learn that I need to think on other people’s feet. The group talk more on Zulu culture and about the history of Shaka Zulu. According to their statistics shows that isiZulu is a dominant language spoken in South Africa. I loved the attire of the group it makes me proud of being a South African citizenship. Each of an every week each person and the group that facilitate are given chance to give feedback about the facilitation.


Every individual or person have story to tell. Whether is good or bad story. However we uses different platform to tell our stories for example some write books about their experience in their live, articles are used and with the growing of technology people even use blog, that can help them to reach big number of audience who can read and relate to the story. People get inspired and motivation through reading other people story. Then facilitator groups us in 4 people and we had to tell our stories for 5 minutes without question. From that group I learned that the perception that we have about other people though looking at them. I also learn that what is good to me it may not good to them.


The second facilitation class commenced at around the same time as the previous week, 8:30am. In this week the facilitator had requested the teams to present to the class. The first group then had to start with the facilitation, the team having to be the first to go must have been nerve wrecking (this was just my imagination). This group’s facilitation began with questions to the class. I found this to be quite different from other facilitations I have seen before. They also used images of different social media (Facebook, twitter, Instagram and pinterest) on the walls or desks in the class. In particular I was fascinated with Pintrest as this was not the first time I have heard of it however I learnt that this platform can be used to generate profits for entrepreneurs.


It was a Saturday morning (21 July 2018) when I arrived at FNB Building at school. It was a cold winter morning yet so much buzzes around town. Being the first to arrive that morning all I did was wait. As the morning unfolded the facilitator arrived soon after two fellow students. We helped the facilitator direct student to the class. The class commenced around 8.30am and with full class. During registration we were then asked to pick a number from a “raffle “bag, without an idea. Then chaos started moving table and chairs next to the wall. After that we were told to go look for fellow students with the same number, I had picked 6. It was awkward as I tried to introduce myself to other members. As the class progressed I could not comprehend what was being said by the facilitator. At end of the day what I learn from the facilitator is that need to learn to adapt to new environment with new people with different personality and behaviour.



Conflict is everywhere, whether is at work with management meeting, with colleague for example during a specific project, with friend and family member. The bottom line is that every day we experience conflict and how we resolve it is no easy but we need to come up with strategy that can resolve conflict. Week 6 was the second full day class. The group open the facilitation with conflict acting. They were well prepared and research their topic. I enjoyed their facilitation class. The group shows us strategy that I personally can use to resolve conflict, even though at the end of the day one person may disagree but one need to know how to deal with conflict.

Resolving Conflict

Very good topic I was very impressed when they started with the presentation. I like the way they acted or if I may say doing their drama.

they were acting as if they were having a fight at work and they were pointing fingers at each other and there comes another one who intervenes and was trying to solve that problem or should I say the conflict. It was very interesting because we come across such things everywhere we go for example at home, at work within our relationships. It hurts most to see such things and at the end the is no resolution. According to me they gave the tips on how to resolve a conflict.

Bongiwe Tebesi


It was a full day class after break tired, the second facilitation group, the minutes I walk inside the class I saw some emojos pictures on the wall and in the windows. The members of the group introduce themselves with smile on their face. They gave us mojo ball, with word writing on. We were able to participate in a group of four people and share some ideas. One member of the group did an excises with us that we should do whenever we feel overwhelm of stress to free our mind. The lecture divided us in two big group were we have to write positive and negative word on the chalkboard. What I took home from that day is that people experience different thing in life and your positive thing can be negative to other person.


This was the day my team facilitated. We knew that 30 minutes was going to be tight. When we were in the dance it flew by like a thief in the night. I had so much fun facilitating. Just sad that we ran out of time and had quickly run through our facilitation. I found something new that I can polish on and maybe take it further than the class…🤔🤔.


Story Telling

Story telling is one of the old tradition that keeps cultures and people together and not to forget where they come from. It explains how the world used to be in those golden past years.

Story telling is the art in which someone is conveying the message,truths,information,knowledge and wisdom to the audience. the group performance was very impressive, creative. they knew how to enhance the audience, I enjoyed the presentation all the way . Stories are sometimes told pure or joy and delight. The more I think of that day the more I get encouraged of being a storyteller myself…

Bongiwe Tebesi


During the week I got email that I need to come with per of shoes. On Saturday in class we were asked to put those shoes we came with inside the basket. the other lady ask us to pick any per of shoe, then after they ask us to put on those shoes  most of us refuse, i personally did not fill comfortable to wear a stranger shoes and not know what the excises was all about. Then it was explain to us the topic of week 5, seeing with different eyes. How would you feel, putting yourself in someone shoes. I was touched by the story of one lady within the group, who when undercover to experiments how people who live on the street live and how it feels to belong on the street. You need to belong to in-group to be part of any group you want to categories yourself with. The group had different celebrity pictures and some of them were living on the street before they became successful in their career. I learned that people who live in the street they have different circumstance that brought them in the street and the is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Seeing through different eyes

The lesson we I had on this day was significant in that, for the first time since attending this Facilitation class, I got to really think about how others, within the same environment think about the world around us and themselves.

Sharing our experiences got me thinking about a part of me that I had forgot and how significant it was at the time. This experience probably shaped a better part of who I am today. And this, as I reflect has always been a part of my personality I probably did not know or understand. I just had to see through different eyes and be conscious of the words that I use, and thanks to the lesson I have learnt about the different unconscious biases that we intentionally and unintentionally use in our daily lives, that I am now learning to “double click” on my words and by extension on others` words as well.

Interesting to note, I must point out that we really never cease to learn new things about ourselves, therefore the journey of discovery is ongoing. We are social beings and therefore creating/ developing relationships is vital for not only our survival but also for our sanity.

Facilitating Change: Week 5

The facilitation piece was really amazing. I enjoyed all the information that was put forward by the group. They has so much knowledge on the topic and really left a lasting impression on me with the exercise of putting on other peoples shoes.

Getting into groups to chat about certain topics was very eye opening for me. The effect that certain situations have on certain people and how a lot of people are more understanding that what I initially thought.

My low moment was the fact that once again we had to spend a full 5 minutes to talk without interruption, which is terribly difficult as I kept wanting to ask questions. This however is a great tool to teach people how to listen.

I learnt how different people are even when faced with the same “discrimination” we all handle situations differently. Having to stand on the word that we felt matched us and discuss in the group. Mine was completely a different view point from most.

Be true to who you are no matter what others think. At the end of the day every one is battling their own demons

Honouring Differences: Week 4

I unfortunately missed out on what was said to be a brilliant facilitation piece, What a shame 🙁

This week we got to see not only differences in everyone but also our similarities. Getting put into groups with our matching scores and communicating with each group on how they see each other. This was very eye opening. This helped in my everyday life as it helps to show why different people act/react the way that they do.

The quiz that we did was my aha moment because it actually gave me a great insight on who I am which really help in a test that I wrote after the fact, I took the information and used a more visual means of studying and I got a distinction in that test. I will definitely be using that in the future.

My aha moment came when we were put in groups and I saw that most of my team mates were in the Visual sensory preference group and only one was in Kinaesthetic group, this opened my mind as I remembered him constantly asking us to run through the facilitation piece for him to see. Makes sense looking back why he needed that.

Conflict resolution and building relationships

the second full day began with a facilitation on conflict resolution. The members acted out the group’s formation stage and it’s dynamics, all this in an attempt to bring us the audience to the practical conflict resolution situation. The topic was well researched and informative as they concluded with the conflict resolution strategies, Accomodating; Compromising; Avoiding; Competing and the collaborating strategy can help us attain workplaces bottom lines when executed well.


The components of building relationships were facilitated through speed dating style. The facilitation comprised of different facilitation  tools; interaction was very high as members interacted with a minimum of six individuals per component topic and the how to make rain exercise, everybody went home with it. This type of facilitating requires time and this was seen as the audience were left requesting for additional time to enjoy the facilitation further. I’m glad that I’m going back to enjoy my Saturday morning sleep as we are taking a mid term break and prepare my draft essay!

Freeing your mind

“Can everybody come and choose  pair of shoes that is not theirs; can you put those shoes on; can we have individual responses about how do you feel about putting on strangers shoes* asked one of the group facilitators. My response was very clear, they are not the kind of typical shoes I would put on and they were too old for my liking. Only to learn that at many times people don’t have access to practice their freedom of choice and expression as stipulated in our republic constitution, due to circumstances beyond their control. I had to make self introspection and recall how many times do we pass beggars on the streets; how many times do we see someone with a big shoe that does not fit them; how many times do we judge; laugh and attach our own unconscious bias to their circumstances and at many times our conclusions are always negative. Indeed we need to free our minds and see how best can we make the world to be alive with possibilities, regardless of its corrupt and filthy state, we are the change that the world needs.

Seeing with new Eyes

The request to bring a pair of shoes along, already had my interest peaked, and the facilitation group who lead our class on this day,  did not disappoint. Their second request made on the day, shocked the class and had most feeling uncomfortable, but this was the expected reaction. It was through this that they were able to open our eyes to a different reality.  A reality that we are all faced with, directly or indirect every day…homelessness. While the statistics surrounding this were interesting and eye opening on their own. The statement that took me aback was about donations of clothing and food made to homeless people, and that they did not have a choice but were grateful. How many times did my own materialistic rationalizing of the sizes not being right, stop me from giving openly. How many times did the thought cross my mind, and stop me from acting out. But the person on the street would not even think twice about what was “gifted” to them.After this class I became more aware, of the “families” I passed on my way to work, how they had fostered relationships with the drivers that passed them, how men were wearing women’s winter coats…but they were warm. I definitely saw them differently. By learning to see with new eyes you are forced to remove yourself from a situation and put yourself in someone else shoes, like the group had encouraged us to do.

Honoring Differences

I am fortunate enough to come from a multifaceted, multicultural family. This means that I have always been accepting of peoples differences. My upbringing has taught me to respect people regardless of their religion or culture. My father a colored man of Zulu and Polish decent brought up in a Roman Catholic home. My mother a colored woman of Indian and English origin, who was raised Methodist and Islamic, it would have been difficult not to be open minded.
However, this meant that due to my own acceptance and knowledge I would often mistake it for common or shared with other people, not realizing that not everyone came from a rainbow family.
From this week I took away a need to be even more open minded, not to others differences, but to people who would not be viewing things from my perspective. I learnt to not make assumptions based on my beliefs of what a person is based purely on a bias or a preconceived idea. I also learned that one of the most powerful things you could do for another individual is simply listen. Often we hear, to respond, not always listen to understand.
As a facilitator you cannot control who will be in your audience, what you can control is how you respect, honor and validate those people, their views and their differences

Resolving Conflict

One can experience conflict in various ways, with friends, family,colleagues, kids, and partners. But the question is how do we resolve conflict so that we come to a common ground and that all parties involved say what they feel and come to an agreement as to how it can be resolved. Resolving conflict is never easy as there will always someone that will believe they right and the other is wrong, and that person will just not come to reason, some will feel it’s an attack as well and they will defend themselves, but either way no matter the scenario how does one resolve conflict.

I loved how the group explained how conflict manifest and how it impacts every one involved and the different types of conflict, and how it can be overcome by using the different techniques as conflict is not something that needs to be permanent it’s something that can be worked out in a mature and respectful way.

For myself what i took away is that people are not out to get you, or expose your faults but they merely trying to tell you how your behavior impacts the people around you, and that you should work on them.

Seeing with new eyes

Seeing with new eyes means put yourself in someone else’s shoes, try and picture yourself being them, living their life, doing what they doing. Sometimes as people we live in our own world and we only picture the world as how we want it to be and how we think it should be, and we forget that there is a totally different world out there and people are living different. Some have it good and some have it bad, we tend to make assumptions of where people come from based on what we see. We take things at face value without any further investigation as to why certain things are the way are, why they find themselves in that particular situation. I believe in life we should not judge people as we don’t know their stories, we should not make assumptions because it’s dangerous it can sometimes hurt people. Life gets hard at times and to face challenges in life is hard already and we can’t still be dealing with people being judgmental and making assumptions of things they don’t know.

Week 6

Another full day class underway.
Sitting in class on this morning, I distinctly remember thinking, I wish some of my closest relations were attending this session with me.
Experiencing some personal conflict of my own at the time, this session really hit home.

I was reminded that no matter the situation, it is how I react to it, that will determine the ultimate outcome. Although you may be part of a certain unpleasant, conflict situation it is not always about you & at times you need to really take a moment to look beyond the current moment and try and understand the origin of the conflict. What state of mind the individual is in, and what caused or sparked the conflict.

I specifically liked and noted the statement Roslyn made “Conflict – we make it about you & me, when it’s actually about the space between us, which is polluted”.

I have also realised something about myself. Based on past experiences, I hate conflict, and try to avoid it at all costs which in turns means I withdraw to a solemn place of complete silence. In this place however, I take the time to pray and rely on God to guide the situation as I know my reactions could be detrimental to myself, and it is much safer in Gods hands.
Relationships are not easy, if you have decided it is worth it then make the effort to make it work.
We live and we learn…

Freeing your mind: Week 5

You there some topics i really wish our group had such as this one, Freeing your mind. One of the most important engines of our daily existence is our mind and once we can find freedom we would live a more relaxed life I suppose. The group opened quite well on this topic by introducing it and trying to make us relate to the direction they initially wanted us to go towards.

The facilitators were all in uniform I suppose as they looked like a team of IVON sales ladies lol #jokes. However, I did enjoy their facilitation especially the exercises that came with freeing your mind from the martial artist.

Full House

Week 5, early cold morning rushing to class on a weekend well I suppose after a few missed weekends one would have to been used to that right? 🙁 Not…anyway before I start going on about the weekend loss, arrived late for class and having missed the first presentation you can imagine how frustrating that is because you literary at the dark or back seat of a train. I was grouped with 3 of my classmates to discuss what challenges does my country face and the impact it has on my life.

You know you sometimes ignore such things because we either used to the bad or the worst of our daily lives. Interestingly enough i realised that we are all going through similar things one way or the other whichever race or gender one maybe. I gave us a moment to reflect and yet be grateful of some of the privileges we have in life as a society.

My 1st Day

Having missed my 1st day of class the previous week and having some of my classmates describing what they had experienced I was ready for anything. By anything I mean walking into a packed class as though I was walking down small street of wits (THE MATRIX) hehehe. To my suprice what I was presented with was far from what I had imagined, i came into a group of people that had the same sentiments as I had and I realised I wasn’t lost at all.

One of the exercises that stood out for me on that that was checking in, normally checking is what some of us do on facebook but that was a far more deeper checking that a click button on my mobile phone. My biggest highlights had to be standing on the balcony and taking a look from a different perspective and the Monk story captured me and has been one of the constant reminders that everything happens for the good of it.

In a nutshell My 1st Day was one of many days to come with learning, facilitating and most of engaging with my pers.

Week 2: Social Media

On my first encounter of my class there was a presentation by the first team on the theme social media, I do believe that this group did very well given the amount of time they had to come up with their facilitation skills on this topic.

I do however feel they could have tackled it differently and mainly focused it on one nutshell instead of dwelling on the different platforms available. The group hadn’t really tackled some of the con’s and pro’s of this topic of which I believe if they had it would have worked towards their advantage. Overall feelings on this i was happy with their execution and delivery of their chosen pattern on the topic.

Week 3: My story

After having read some of the interesting stories based on the questions which had been given focusing on facilitation I must say I was really moved by the stories and didn’t do much on the assessment of who was whom.

The group that also presented their story was strategic and well prepared and I managed to learn or pick up a few good things through their presentation that I believe will benefit my group come our facilitation day. Ross managed to take us on a journey of discovery as always and we were able to reflect some of our life stories as well. Since the commencement of this course I must say I have learned a lot and gained quit a lot of inspiring knowledge from Ross as she facilitates us through this pathway journey.

From the previous week’s exercise of checking in I was able to get a glimpse of some of my colleagues stories and goes to show we all have a story to tell, and the ability to tell your own story can be an opportunity to also find healing and closure.


One of the most important things one should acknowledge and understand is that we all different. And that makes us all unique one way or the other, and through our class interactions, I get to learn quite a lot about myself. Just because we all black doesn’t necessarily mean we one of the same thing as being white, female or male. We are still our own individuals at some point in life and the very character and personality is our own identity.

I have been trying to check the deeper meaning of Honouring Differences without truly finding something that will satisfy my eyes or should I say my brain. Yes, it does talk of sex, gender, race you name it but I’m still not convinced. I guess life is the pathway of discovery because we learn, see and something on a daily basis.


Week 6 Resolving Conflict and Building Relationship

The group confused us by first arguing and cause conflict to each other. I was relaxed now that our group has facilitated. This was also a full day class. I learned that we react differently in situations, some do not want to be involved in conflicts they avoid it and some want to control and do not want to be told.The group showed that at the end the must be a solution and listen to each other.Being calm helps, as it was a full day the other group facilitating on a topic Building Relationship. They showed us that it is not easy to build a relationship and keep it. The group divided itself as we were sitting  in smaller groups also and came to talk to us taking turns.

In class we had to tell a story to each other, we were a group of four taking turns and we were timed. We spoke about self analysis and  how we listen and view the situation



Week 6 second session(Building Relationships)

In this second session I was exhausted however It was very interesting to hear what the facilitating group was going to say because relationships are important and they can be easily destroyed. On this day I learned the importance of building relationships and the advantages accompanying good relationships, be it from work, home etc.I also learned that relationships are about communication and mutual trust, conflict is usually part of a relationship because we are all different and we all have different mind sets ,however the success of a relationship depends on how willing are the parties involved In that relationship  to compromise and meet each other halfway.

Resolving Conflict and Building Relationships

The groups that facilitated this week really set the bar high and I’m becoming more and more worried because our group is next. The lesson I’ve learned  from the resolving conflict group is that one should be a team player and always take into consideration the inputs of the group members.

I was really fascinated by the group that facilitated on building relationships, making it rain was the highlight. I liked the whole idea of speed dating  and how they executed their facilitation piece, like that was Aha moment.

The left hand  column exercise was very interesting and fun to do,  the stories we shared with our partners were hilarious. We went on to discuss the four phases of communication and what I’ve learned from this exercise is that the meaning of your communication is the response you get from the other person. Words creates worlds,  I love this quote , it clearly conveys that words are powerful.


Resloving conflict and Building relations

Resolving conflict
Today was such an interesting day..
the first presentation was about resolving conflict. I think I knew from the onset that I really wanted to pay attention because of the current situation I was going through with my sibling.
They started off with a skid of the team acting out their actual conflict as a team in preparation of their presentation. In that, they presented the different components in a conflict which reflected in their aprons.
The different components are controlling- where one person imposes that idea on one or others- the best way this person can contribute is realising that there’s no I in team and that other people’s ideas matter.
There is the accommodating technique- if that personality trait is you, one needs to learn to be more assertive in their stand points and not give in so easily.
There’re those personalities that are conflict avoiders. One of the things that an individual with this trait is to realise that by avoiding they could be missing put on learning from someone or even the conflict itself.

I find myself to be a compromiser. I win some but loose some. I am afforded the opportunity to know that I cannot please everyone.
But the crux of the learning was that collaboration is the ultimate way to resolve conflict. What I am recognising with this presentation is how it flows out of what we learned last week. As people we operate out of assumptions, and we interpret information according to how we see the world.


I resonated with the information about the fact that we make conflict about you and me instead of the space between us. And the law of reciprocity is that you get what we give and as humans we haven’t quite grasped how to acknowledge that the only person can change is. We want the next person to acknowledge our truth as theirs. It is profound that it was re-iterated to me that taking responsibility for your actions isn’t accepting blame.

I related so much to the model of being in any relationship. You risk being in it. Where there is a risk, there is an opportunity for hurt. That creates a space for withdrawal form that relationship to re-establish your identity. Once one feels that it they have safely done so, they risk being in relationship again.
In any relationship, communication is key. And we can be absolute failures it. I think the one thing we do most of us is listening to respond. Building relations can be difficult if our communication model isn’t learned. We need to ultimately get to a point where we our conversations are a direct honest exchange. We are still allowed to have different views but one is able to leave the conversation with respect and honour the differences in us.

Week 6 (Resolving conflict)

I believe that this topic is a very important part of any type of relationship as people we are different and we have different understanding based on this fact conflict is bound to be there. The facilitation highlighted the importance of accommodating each other and accepting each other. I have also learned that culture and background form a huge part of a individuals make up. It is important to know the character that you are dealing with because it will assist you in managing a conflict for example understand how sensitive they are and how do they respond to criticism .emotional intelligence also forms a very important part of conflict resolution. I enjoyed the facilitation as it was full of drama and what I liked the most is that the conflict resolution is a tool that we can all use on a daily basis in our work place, at home and anywhere were we meet people. Emotional intelligence also forms a very important part of conflict resolution.

Week 5 Second session (Freeing your mind)

In this session the facilitation topic was freeing your mind. Just from the topic I realized that this is a broad subject and it depends from which perspective are you looking at it. The facilitation started and the first member of the facilitation group gave an in-depth background of the topic then the fun part began, When I say fun began it is because from the background given seemed as if the facilitation was boring and straight forward however more information started flowing from the facilitation group as the started explaining the benefits of freeing your mind and the negative effects of not freeing your mind and they further conducted an exercise that was demonstrating a method that you can use daily when you want to face your fears and challenges. I must say that sometimes little thing can change our lives for better if we are conscious of what we want to achieve.

I also learned that when you are conducting a facilitation you need to put some energy in to it in order to make sure that your audience are eager to hear what you have to say.

Week 5 Seeing with new eyes

The facilitation on this particular Saturday was very sensitive and relevant to our daily environment. The topic was seeing with new eyes and it was linked to how we see homeless people. This facilitation addressed lots of issues like being judgmental, prejudice, assumptions, ignorance and selfishness. The group had asked us to bring a pair of old shoes to class which most of us did and during their facilitation the basically asked us to pick a pair of shoes of fellow student and wear them and everybody refused, so it got me asking myself how are the homeless people feeling as they do not have a luxury of choosing what to wear and they rely on handouts from strangers. I do not condemn people who are giving homeless people old clothes because they are at least doing something to assist the homeless, however it made me think that It should be a difficult thing to wear clothes of somebody you don’t even know.

The lesson that I learned is that I should not judge the homeless as I do not know the reason why they are on the streets furthermore I must be part of the change of change that I want to see meaning that there is no use in complaining about the amount of homeless people when I myself don’t take any action to assist them.

Week 2

I am so anxious on what is going to happen because the previous week things were so up side down a lot of people did not understand what was going on. Lets wait and see how things are going to be. Entering the class everyone was there waiting to kick start.

Anxious to know how is is going to be in class. Remember chaos from the previous week!!!

Introduction was very fine and Ros started introducing Telfar ” Shine” to the whole class. Ros told us for each and every one in the class needs to have their syndicate groups. that is what happened and all the groups had to have their own topic which all the people (groups) had to perform in them or should I say Play a role.All the groups were given different topics that they will be working on to and do the presentation to the class.

Yah all the people in the facilitation class has groups and were given tasks to go and do some research of the topics they were given.

Week 3

I remember I thought I was late only to find out that everyone was outside whereas the first group was still doing the preparations about their presentation.

When we enter the class the class was well prepared and the first team was ready to roll… I thought maybe Ros invited some facilitators to assist her. To my surprise those people are our classmates presenting and their topic was Communication through Social Media. Wow I was speechless cause they presented very well as if they have been doing this all their lives. We learned a lot from them especially the app called Pinterest. I dint know anything about the app but now I am the expect of the app if you ask me.

The way they presented to the whole class it was very impressive, the settings, the engagement with the audience was really up to date and big ups to you guys job well done.

Signing out…
Bongiwe Tebesi

Resolving Conflict and Building Relationships

The first group to facilitate spoke about Resolving Conflict. They reenacted a situation where they as a group conflicted with each other. They discussed how and why conflict arises and ultimately how conflict can be avoided or resolved.

Conflict is something that we all deal with on a daily basis. Conflict arises due to people with different views, lifestyles, cultures, personalities, levels of education etc. interacting with each other in a personal or professional context.

The second group to facilitate had to facilitate a workshop on Building Relationships. This could have been a great facilitation IF the group had more time. The Facilitation was jampacked with activities and the facilitators had to rush through the activities, but overall it was a good facilitation.

By this time I was already thinking of how I am going to tackle the reflective essay and I could not wait for Roslyn to discuss it.

Seeing with New Eyes

It was our turn to facilitate. I was so stressed! My team and I arrived early in class so we can set up the class and prepare our routine. 5 minutes before we start we realized that 2 of our team members were missing in action. I agreed to take on the one part and another team member agreed to take on the other person part.

After the facilitation was done I felt like we did well. We received mostly positive feedback and people were telling us how confident we looked – if they only knew how I was shaking like a leaf while I was talking.

Next, we did an exercise where we had to recall a time when we felt something significant, a time when we felt alive, involved and enthusiastic about what we were doing.

Honouring Difference

Today’s class was all about honouring our differences. The group that facilitated dressed up as different SA cultures and they gave us different facts about each culture. I found this facilitation very interesting and informative. I was slightly let down that they only represented Afrikaans people as liking ‘boerewors and potjiekos’, I’m sure there is much more to us than that LOL.

One pearl that I took from today’s facilitaion is that people all think differently. Some think and perceive with their ears, others with their eyes and other by physically doing an activity. This has reinforced one thing that I value – Respect the way other people think, just because it’s not you would do it doesn’t necessarily mean its wrong.

Week 3 – Story Telling

Today’s class was all about storytelling. Storytelling is such an age-old human tradition and stories are an intrinsic part of our societies and culture. Today’s group told us the story of Joe, the Chicken and it made us all more aware of not only what we were putting into our bodies, but also the extreme measures needed to feed the entire human population (for instance pumping baby chicks full of hormones).

After the group finished their facilitation we were split into groups and had to discuss the stories we had to read for homework. My personal favourite was definitely The Bent Backs of Chang Dong, where a woman shows people another pay of thinking / doing without forcing them to do it. She leads by example and hopes that others will follow suit. My other favourite was The African Dress. As an Afrikaans person, this one really touched me. I feel ashamed for what the Afrikaners did to non-white races during the Apartheid Era, but this story made me feel grateful for the sacrifices that people like Zanele Mbeki made for the country and I loved how she reclaimed the right for all SA women to define the meaning of the term ‘African Dress’.

Another very interesting topic we discussed was the four common rituals in every culture (Birth, Coming of Age, Marriage, Death). We had to form groups of 4 and each had to discuss the rituals their culture had in terms of these 4 phases in life. It was then that I discovered how little I knew of my own culture. Some of the other members of my group were telling me about the Afrikaans tradition of the Trusue Chest, which doesn’t really exist anymore. This made me curious to discover how I came to be. After doing some research, it seems as if my ancestors came to South Africa in 1820.

Seeing with a different eye

Today Saturday 18 August woke up anxious about the team who is representing under the theme “Seeing with a different eye.” The fact that they requested that everyone/student should try and bring along a pair of old shoes, made me anxious. I couldn’t wait as I figuring out what the intention could be but battled for an answer.

Below is a basket full of old shoes we contributed:

The challenge started when the presenting team requested that everyone in the classroom should pick up a pair of shoes fit and wear it. We all didn’t feel comfortable doing so (wearing other people’s shoes).

The moral of the story was to indicate to us that your views will be determined by the questions you are asked. I also learned that your views could be determined by the environment that you are in.

The presenting team made me aware that life is not easy and that now that I can provide for myself, could become totally different should the situation change and I become homeless. I immediately put myself in the shoes of the people who cannot provide for themselves, for example, hobos who live in the street. Having not much choice, the appreciate anything offered to them and will never question anything. This topic “Seeing with a different eye” open my eyes and changed my mindset towards homeless people.

The presenting group/team continued and gave us an example of prominent people who were once homeless and today they are successful. They mentioned the likes of Dr. Rebbecca Malope and Oprah Winfrey.

My feedback to the presenting team:

I recommended that the presenting team should have also mentioned/taken into consideration people/celebrities who were once successful but homeless today.

I have learned a lot and from today onwards, I will see life with a different eye and my approach would never be the same.

Thumps up to the presenting team!


Honouring the difference

The day Saturday 11th August has finally arrived. After battling to fall asleep thinking about our presentation for today, now it has to take place. although I came prepared and so is my team, I haven’t stand in front of people presenting for a while.

The theme/topic for our presentation today is “Honouring the difference” below please see the picture of our team ready for action.

Although I tried to put on a brave face, I couldn’t wait for the presentation to be over. Today brings back the memories of my first day at school. As you could see from the photo above, our team members were embracing different cultures (not necessarily theirs). I am a Pedi man but I am embracing the Basotho culture. At the end of the day, I am proud because the message was loud and clear.

As the day goes by, Roslyn started elaborating on the value of showing up “how do you show up”. She mentioned that most people in the workplace wear musks. Roslyn said that the warrior is the person who is able to take the amour off. I liked it and always remember when Roslyn said that showing up does not mean you have to be naked.

I have learned a lot today and I have now started realizing that Facilitation is so broad and is not just about standing in front of people. Now that the presentation is over, I can feel that I have gained a lot and have gained some confidence and has realized how a message can be transferred to the audience/learners via presentation.

Presentation Feedback:

I liked it when one lady said she is not happy with one of our team member who is representing the Afrikaans culture. This is how she put it “I have noticed one of your team member who represented Afrikaans culture but said FOKOL!”.

Another day of learning and upping my Facilitation Skills!


Today 25 August I have learned a lot under the theme “Resolving conflict”.

I have just discovered that in order for me to be able to manage conflict, I should be controlling, accommodating, avoiding and compromising. I have just discovered that taking responsibility and taking action is not one and the same thing. I have realized that conflict is not about me and you but about the space between me and you.

Image result for resolving conflict images

I fully agree with Roslyn as she mentioned that before conflict comes differences. We get addicted to being right. I liked this quote “we do not see the world as it but we see the world as we see it.

I enjoyed the 2nd group (presentation) about the theme “building relationships”. I have learned about the importance of communication in the relationship. The group clearly demonstrated that sometimes we hold back and not tell all.

No one can tell it better than me …My story!

Once upon a time I didn’t know I’ll be sitting next to a stranger my peer that I only see once a week for our facilitation class and sharing my story, that I have never told anyone but only my psychologist and the one above. I thought I had it tough but believe you me people share their good, bad and horrific stories, then said to myself thank you Lord for my story. It sometimes becomes so emotional and heating so hard that my eyes are full of tears, which I cannot hold but just let go. I have learned that we are Humans and as humans, we become emotional creatures, and storytelling is important because we learn from each other and also teaches us how as people we can easily remember and at helping people we can relate our stories to one another. Storytelling connects information with our emotions, it also allows us to digest information more easily.

It was interesting when the group facilitated their storytelling on chickens, that chickens get injected to grow faster in order to hatch eggs within a week. It was very interesting cause in older days chickens where grown at the backyard and being given right food, but due to high demand of chickens this days, its obvious that famers have now gone the route of injecting chickens in order to grown them quickly. They even talk about avian influenza and poultry diseases it was interesting to know that this bird flu can be symptoms in humans; it was an interesting story to tell.

On the very facilitation lesson, we need to connect the dots, by doing book exercise not forgetting to sit in groups and share our beautiful stories. What excites me about being a facilitator is the fact that I will able to apply this knowledge at the office even at home. Learning about the importance of being an effective facilitator is to create opportunity for individual by listening to each other’s stories, and in all those stories  we need to be patient and guide each other, we don’t need to instruct or force change but we need to give each other a chance to listen and relate to our stories!!!!!!



28 August 2018 Resolving Conflict & Building Relationships

Second full day class 08:00 – 16:30
I was ready for this facilitation because it wanted to learn more on resolving conflicts and building relationships.

The group did well on facilitating resolving conflict and they had information. They also acted out the drama conflict they faced , preparing their class room facilities. Each individual had a technic of resolving conflict
accomodating others

I learnt that i need to be accomodating because i am an avoider in conflicts however i speak my mind and i am also learning to accommodate others. Which isn’t easy at time because i am so use to avoiding conflict.

The group in the end gave us sweets. Written let work it out… Creativity i must say…

Building Relationships

Focal point was trust , respect and maintenance of good relationship.
We build relationships everything day. Some are meant to work out and others no. That is one thing is always maintain at heart.

We then swopped books as an exercise and did a dialogue.
We also discussed relationship circle which consists of risk, hurt,protective, withdraw and reclaiming identity.

Hand exercise pulse, which was interesting Ros said it helps if one is very nervous for an exam.

In closing we discussed what is required of us after two weeks study break and we also closed of early.

18 August 2018 Seeing with new eyes & Freeing your mind


Today was a full day class, morning was combined with the afternoon class. It was indeed a full house as we waited outside as the morning syndicate group got ready to facilitate. As we entered the classroom room we were welcomed and instructed to put the shoes we were told to bring into baskets. And we all sat down and a minute later were were told to take any pair of shoes to fit and majority of us refused. This was part of the facilitation topic seeing with new eyes. At that moment we didn’t understand until they informed us that their main focal point is about homeless people. When homeless people are given something they don’t judge but accept with two open arms. So we had to see differently from our usual view on things.

The group did quite well and received positive feedback. What stood out for me was tacking a topic about the homeless because they seem to be non existent to us and we don’t pay attention so after that session i don’t see them different nor are they invisible. Taught me to appreciate everything that i have even though it am not there yet.

We then did a couple of excercise in small groups

We tackled
“Recall a time when you felt something significant , a time when you felt alive , involved and enthusiastic about what you were doing”

This made me realise that every individual is fighting for a better life not only forth themselves but also for the next person.

“What do you believe they say about us, family , community and the world”

Rainbow nation, peaceful, Ubuntu, crime, poor economy, corruption to name but a few that were raised.

We then discussed Bias into detials.


Second round after a long busy talkative morning

Freeing your mind was the second syndicate group to facilitate

The group did well and was well prepared , they had theme dress code of black and used emojies for their topic which was very informative.

I learnt about the EFT method which helps overcome fear
Tap routine which also helps to be happy and stress free

We listened to a track by Eminem my favourite rapper, Ros made my day which made me realise she’s not that old and the song was an example of unconscious Bias and we discussed it

It was a long day, i was hungry and was ready to go home but it was worth those long hours because it learnt alot and some of the things which is didn’t know.

Wisani Hlangwane

Missing in Action

From reading all the comments from my fellow students it appears missing the two classes has really robbed me out of a very interesting and informative day. however thankfully my health is back to what it should so there will be no more missing in action.

its funny how now with this class I approach things especially at work differently. I have a supervisor who like me talks a lot and we often but heads as our characters are similar. however now when we butt heads instead of taking her head on I step on to the balcony and just observe. when she has calmed down a bit I do the same with her and we usually realize a big fuss over a tiny thing was made. peace reigns again in our space.

Honouring Differences : Defending out uniqueness?

This week left me a bit shaken but also taught me a tip to use when its my group’s turn to Facilitate. Passion is super great however one needs not get too attached to the subject matter that they personalize the content. Why? simply because it leads to one now finding the feedback no longer as what it is (feedback) but rather now as attacks that need to be defended.

The exercise that we did on the Brain dominance etc. made me realize that we cannot all be the same, in our groups there will be differences however they need to embraced. you must not (that’s just a note to self) force people to think and do as you do, because we are programmed differently thus we look achieve the same goal just the ways will not be the same and it a good thing.

Above all I think my son benefitted more from this class as since this class I’ve learned to just let him be him and not enforce the do like I do philosophy I’ve been using for the past 4 year. Honestly our relationship has improved, have more patience for him than before so says my mother.