Telling a Story

I must say i was highly impressed by the Team telling a story, properly expectant well researched.
Story telling When done well captures your attention, right from the start. Somehow from the outside we were able to link the small green blocks of grass to their blocks to seeing the bigger picture. Effective storytellers often elevate their stories to another level when the is emotional connection. johari window quadrant three well explained easy to understand and i can relate to it. I also prefer to stay indoors than to go out.

How often do you stretch your limits and test yourself? not that often nothing good comes easily. It’s absolutely necessary to stretch your limits by taking on one more challenge and re-defining what is possible. The is a big difference between stretching your limits and over-extending yourself.the group gave me an opportunity to stretch my limits with one simple challenge.

My Understanding On Facilitation

Facilitation creates a conducive environment for everyone to think at their best hence, it is imperative to respect each other’s opinion. As a facilitator, one should not be bias but rather remain impartial.

I have learned that a facilitator should always have other people’s feelings into consideration and connect with others. However, a facilitator’s vulnerability should not lead to weakness.

Facilitation has improved my confidence a lot. I am now able to stand confidently at work and address issues while looking at both sides of the story. It has further enabled me to build trust in my relations and understand the needs for detachment. Personally, facilitation has helped me to understand myself better as a right brainer. I am now able to stand confidently in front of a crowd and get my message across audibly.


Reflective writing

The first day in facilitation class was very confusing for me,i did not grt the grasp of the course,the more the lecturer explained the more confused i became, and then things started to bevome clearer on the second class, it was a struggle but eventually i managed to have an understanding thst o needed to be fully present to be able to appreciate ehat was the course about,i have come to know that I have to reflect on what i have learned for the day and how i might apply it in my daily life,i have also discovered that modt of the thing that we do in class are our everyday things that we never real thought about.i have discovered that i am learning more about myself and how to be the best i can be everyday.

My First Day In Class

My first day in the facilitation class was a bit overwhelming as it was my first experience. However, it was a fun and very informative lesson. I enjoyed learning about communication skills and the significance of communicating via social media. I learnt that one can’t just post things on social media and later regret. The group that was presenting was Group One and they produced an outstanding presentation on Social Media.

One of my highlight was when the group was promoting the use of  Whats up and Face book.  Although the presenters were amazing,  my delta was when one of the group member was struggling a bit to present and the rest of the group members did not cover up for her, which left her exposed and vulnerable. Remember a group is as strong as its weakest link.  Nonetheless, I had a great time of learning and interacting with my fellow students for the first time, though i already knew few of them.

Team Work Appreciation 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

So! I had a chance to critique other groups facilitate…  As the day gets closer to our group facilitation project, I’m starting to feel desensitized and overwhelmed by all the the input I have contributed and all the information shared by my team mates. I must say, we are a hell of a great bunch with strong personalities and we all are have something to contribute concerning our task. The challenge is that, we have so many great ideas for our project and I have realized that in order for us to narrow down our ideas, I need to seat back and observe as I have played my part.  This is me realizing that we can’t all have our cake and eat it!😉


To have thought about what was going to be on the 19th, made me to rush to the class with eagerness and a zeal to participate on one of the issue of national pedestal of interest our country is hanging on for remedial action.

Accordingly the concept of diversity encompasses acceptance and respect.
It means understanding that each individual is unique,and recognizing our individual differences.
These differences are along the dimensions of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, physical abilities, religious beliefs,political beliefs, or other ideologies.
It is the exploration of these differences in a safe, positive, and nurturing environment.
It is also about understanding each other and moving beyond it.
Simply tolerance, to embracing and celebrating the rich dimensions of ethnic difference contained within each individual.

The topic was richly practical and enforcing engagement in all aspects to which diversity is all about, particularly in our land.
To solely deal with it on religion only, was a misconception and would have done more justice shall it have been involved audience in opening commissioning or further debate on it.
It could only be that when this kind of opportunity arise where a topic touchbase to the dept of the wounds and emotions of a nation,a referal point be the history of where people come from, what judged their humanity, what disturbed their peace settlement and what can make them better today.
Diversity is one of the key to the betterment of our people

Seeing the bigger picture

Week 5 of facilitation… how am i feeling you may ask. Given my busy work days, having to wake up early on a Saturday to come to class is starting to catch up with me.

But this week I was pleasantly surprised. Walking towards class I was greeted by the friendliest faces, offering me popcorn and a cold drink and movie tickets and small pebbles to be part of a game later on. Wow! What a welcome! That was group 4, the guys facilitating the theme about story telling. What made me feel even more pleased was the fact that a comment I made the week about late comers distracting the facilitation group was taken into account. The group used black dustbin bags to cover up the windows at the entrance of the class. look, it might have just been part of their look and feel but I took it personally and loved them for it.

When their facilitation began I will admit I was a bit confused about what we were meant to expect but as they went on I was blown away by how much this group pushed the boundaries. Well done guys! It was thoughtful as well as thought provoking. During the feedback session I was surprised at how much Delta the group received and then I realised that not everyone views things the same way. Your personal context (family life, work life, personal relationships ect.) influences how you view something that is taking place. We are humans that whether we know it or not we link things together. That coming from last week where we learned how we respond to events and behaviours just got further highlighted for me.

The rest of the class was a bit slow for me, although I was grateful for the almost step by step experience of how to go about our upcoming draft essays. I am the type of person who needs a more comfortable and quiet environment to put my thoughts on paper. So the “get ahead of your essay” part of the class was a bit disruptive for me. But I have tried to keep all our learning in mind, from understanding that change takes place all the time and i should embrace it rather than fight it to the fact that we are all different as well as always tying to see the bigger picture.

Are we all that different?

Another week of facilitation is over. I said last week that I had changed my mind about facilitation but did I really… I walked into class thinking what can I expect today? Will I be engaged or will I get bored and switch off? The answer didn’t come quickly.

The group facilitation theme was ‘Honouring difference’. When I saw people dressed in traditional clothes bordering on religion my brain when up in red lights. “OH NO! Please don’t be talking about religion” I said to myself. If there are topics to avoid in groups like this, religion is one of them. The group began their facilitation and I was surprised. I began to realise that maybe there are ways to border such sensitive topics in such a way that it doesn’t create tension. That was before the feedback session. Once people were asked for Delta my thought about ‘topic to avoid’ was confirmed. Some people missed the plot, others seemed insulted and others were just confused about the whole thing.

As the class continued, tensions seemed to subside and I got the feeling that people began to relax again. The theory that we covered really had me engaged. Like I said the answer about how engaged I would be only came much later in the session. It weird to know that you know something but didn’t realise their was a name or actual concept behind those things you know. I found that the case for the Three Domains of Disclosure and the Johari Window. I mean as we were going through these theories/concepts, I was saying “But I know that”. What I didn’t know was that people had actually studied these things and given them names.

When we analysed the case study I found myself looking at how I could use these theories at work with my team. I started thinking about situations where something similar has happened and in what arena I had played in. I loved the experience. I’m finding reflection so useful for my day to day interactions. What really blew me away was the portio about how we respond to events and behaviours. Listening to Ros explain the Iceberg, and being a psychology student knowing that such iceberg as a product of Freud’s theory about the unconscious mind, a light went on in my head. I knew exactly how to use this to facilitate an upcoming workshop at work with a team struggling to communicate.

So, did the changing of my mind last… I’ll reserve my conclusion for later in the semester.


Fact or Fiction

When you take a simple thing like a stone and place it down onto something without even thinking there is a reason why you placed it there.  When things are brought into perspective by, learning that someone chose that place because their story is that they enjoy being a leader or just enjoy being on their own.

You realise that there are so many different stories to tell.  Todays class, opened the door for introspection and to learn my own story.  To put that story into words for my reflective essay and it made me realise that each of us has a story to tell.  Often we get so caught up on the dance floor of our lives that our stories just cloud our judgement, it becomes difficult to take a step back and just go onto the balcony to really re-think situations.  However in the end, we are able to share our story and help someone else from our own experience.


You will never influence the world by being just like it!!!

What an impactful presentation…  We see difference everyday but the question is do we accept it?  Do we love it?  Do we invite it in?

The presentation for today’s class evoked a great question, how do I go about honouring difference?  The world we live in today, is so different from how it was many years ago.  By doing some of the tasks today showed me just how even though some may look the same, talk the same and wear the same clothes – we are so different in so many ways.

It was an eye opener to think that even though someone may be different and have so many cultural differences, we need to embrace it and learn to love each others differences.

When life happens!!!

So, it’s Saturday and I’m in a catch 22.  I know I need to be in class, however this is the last Saturday for a while that I am going to be with my best friend.  So I decide to stay home.

Facilitating change, is the topic for todays class.  That topic brings me to the thought of how that day there is a big change happening in my life. 1.) I am missing a lesson that I am sure will be so impactful and 2.) the change in my life today, is such a great change and how would I manage.  I am overcome with emotion.

When you realize how many people sacrifice to be in class no matter what, it shows how relevant this class is.  As most are studying to facilitate change in their own lives.


I knew a saying that is used daily that says we learn every day, but I never knew that I can learn soo much helpful information from this FACILITATION SKILLS CLASS.

This past week I learned the different ways of writing and how interesting and helpful they were to me. The Reflective Writing was an eye opener to me. I found a way of getting useful information out without cracking my mind and taking for ever to finish two paragraphs by writing to a friend.  My definition of reflective writing is deep emotional writing or the truthful writing.

After the presentation we got a chance to write in 4 different ways which were an automatic writing, writing to your best friend, writing to your  lecture and writing to yourself. All the 4 ways of writing are so different, but the writing to my best friend one was soo amazing and I could get more useful information out.

Team 4 did their research well and the welcoming was great. They actually brought Nu Metro to Wits. Well Done…

I don’t have a good relationship with my supervisor we always fight and when he start the fight he will start with the jokes, because I never knew the ways of provoking an individual I would just ignore him until we end up fighting . After the facilitation  class of Human Dynamic I could read amongst his lines that he is going to use  The Resistance Barometer tool, I knew exactly where he was going, I was so proud of myself because I managed to stop him before it could be the war zone.

Iyoo then Ross told us that we have to submit the 1000 plus words essay next week…. my nerves and stress started because I never knew that we were suppose to write essays so quick and it clicked that this is Wits University time to pull up my socks have to start with the real professional school work. iyoo

I am looking forward to my next class.

Facilitate and transitioning

A Point of view,


Facilitation can be represented as a set of continuation, with the purpose ranging from a task-focused activity to a more holistic process of enabling individuals, teams and organizations to change.  Why change? Russel Simmons once said ”You have the power to say, this is not how my story will end”

No matter how far your team or you as an individual have gone on the wrong path, you can still turn around. Change is as good as a holiday.



slowly but surely

Its week 3 and is true when they say things do get better with time

Although I was panicking about the following week as we were heading towards our presentation, I did enjoy this module. Very interesting and very insightful. We have leaned about personal thinking style preferences and I must say everything about it is so true. As people we tend to do things unconsciously, on this day I have discovered that  I am a left brainer. So much of a left brainer. I am a detail type of a person  with an internal motivational style. I am an Auditory leaner and definitely an investigator. Wow how could this exercise be so accurate

I now understand why I get so frustrated when I’m dealing with a  right brainer. I didn’t know then as I didn’t know about this left brainer, right brainer thing. I have discovered that we all communicate and learn differently. This is module is very relevant to me as a mother of 3 it will definitely help me to raise my kids according to their differences. I never understood why I would give my 3 children the same instruction, raise them the same however fail to get them to respond the same. This learning module says , they don’t learn the same, they don’t communicate the same and they will definitely wont respond the same. Now I get it, only now I get it. I now understand why my husband would say he’ll be home in  two minutes and only show up in two hours. he’s definitely not a left brainer. Time awareness is not his thing.

Kolb’s experiential learning cycle was also introduced, where David argues that learning is seen as a cycle made up of four stages being concreate experience, reflective observation, Abstract conceptualization and active experimentation. From this I have learned that to be an effective learner we need to rely on all 4 different modes. And also to be a good facilitator listening skills is important and I must say this is definitely my weakness.



Story telling

This week’s facilitation\presentation was on point everything was on another level, well done guys. The group’s facilitator was energetic so much energy in one person i have never seen, YESSS GIRL!
The lady that was introducing the topic and that what names she is called all around the world, i knew what she was going through even though she tried hiding it but she conquered her fears of public speaking we are right behind you girl, hope to be as brave as you when my turn comes.
This week we were paired into two and person that i paired with was as if i was looking at the mirror, we have so much in common it was scary. the way he was answering his questions its the same way i would have answered, except for that we has been able to use what he has learned in class outside it and i have not so far.
The lady i spoke about earlier really inspired me and reminded me what we came here to do and that is to overcome our fears, built confidence and take it one step at a time. That is w

Diversity in Rituals

After insightful teachings about brain stress and the various causes of this often misunderstood condition, it was incredibly exciting to break away into small groups to explore the topic of rituals.  The brief was to initially engage globally on various rituals pertaining to the customs of birth, initiation, marriage and death.

The initial group session was extremely emotive and engaging, each member of the discussion learnt new information from the others. It was interesting to note how emotional and personal the exchanges had become. What also stuck me is the realization that there were some commonalities in some of the reasons why certain rituals were observed.

The second round of group discussion, reveled that rituals are dynamic, they evolve like culture, and they evolve to confirm to the lifestyle and situation of the people/families observing these cultures at any given time. The act of appeasing ancestors through the spilling of traditional sorghum beer can and has been conducted through the use of commercially bottled beer for instance. For people living the urban areas where the brewing of traditional African beer is not convenient, bottled beer does the trick.

The last round of exchanges revealed a connection of sorts among  those who were exchanging and conversing.

In the end, I dared to open up to a stranger, I dared to share intimate details about me; my unconventional relationship with my father, my reservations about marriage and the fact that to some extent, it symbolizes a possible loss of independence. I loathe the idea of taking on a foreign surname and having to be introduced to ”new” ancestors.

In the end, I decided that the rituals that I will perform with my children will be a reflection of who and what we are about. I will certainly take into account what my parents have laid down in terms of our family’s rituals, but I will not hold back to infuse what I am about, I will leave a piece of my legacy in the rituals that get passed down to my grandchildren.

I have been experimenting with the notion of sharing who I am with others, I have been telling my story and my family’s stories to my two children.

It’s okay to loosen up and share a bit of me now and then, that’s what I’ve learnt. It’s okay to open up now and then.






It’s been a while….

So it’s been a while… It’s been an incredibly hectic two or three weeks. I missed a blogging week and then missed class the next week, gosh adulting can be so hard at times… butttttttt now that I’ve found the blogging site again and now that I know I need 4 blogs attached to my draft essay, I better get cracking lol…

A draft essay I hadn’t realised was due so soon.. like I said this adulting thing can be hard, I’ve had 3 essays due this week.

Each week the team facilitation sessions grab next level status, I don’t know that my expectations are being met but I sure have been learning so much from them. So group 6 is hard at work on our facilitation session and time just runs away from us, in just 2 weeks we’ll be at the front of the class hoping to facilitate a session that our colleagues will find an informative learning experience. Our team has worked together well, we simply just get along and I think that makes working together fun. We have brainstormed very interesting ideas and look forward to sharing with the class and looking forward to it being over.

The weeks have gone by swiftly but this course has really been so useful and informative. Thanks Ros.

Facilitation Skills 2017_Week 5_26 August 2017

The facilitating group’s topic this week was Story Telling. Good presentation, and very engaging with the class. I enjoyed the presentation and the class in general, however I felt that somewhere along the line the presentation went off-topic. I would not relate what they were presenting (see the bigger picture), to the topic of stories. Would have like to see more actual story telling.

Their entrance was so well executed and presented.

Week 5, 26th August 2017 Facilitation Class – Story telling?

This is one of those very cold month end weekends. I notice on the walls there are already big posters as if we seeing a day time movie today, on the floor there are already carpets laid out starting with the smaller size and they increase in size as you approach the class room. At the door a table is laid out full of pop-corns and drinks which they hand to you before you take your ticket and allowed in the class. As I seat I read the big poster where their theme is written “time to realise the bigger picture” wow now it makes sense why the carpets on the passage are placed in this increasing in size format to finally realise the bigger picture. The team presenting today is well prepared moreover they tapped dipper in their finances for this kind of budget.

They gave us a few stories to demonstrate their topic of storytelling, the one that made an impact to me was where we picked objects and place them on the frame already made on the floor, this meant from picking up any objects to a particular spot where you place it tells a story about a person, this one guy placed his right at the corner and in meant that he is hard to socialize and prefers his personal space and do his own thing at his pace.

Reflection Essay was the exam equivalent exercise which was kicked off by asking us to write a subconscious Essay for 2 minutes without stopping and we all realised that firstly there is so much happening in our minds that we can write about, secondly the fact that all of us can write. The writing then progressed to writing to your best friend, yourself and to the lecture and realised that it easy to write to your best friend than to the lecture because one tends to write what you think the lecture wants to hear not what you as a writer wants to say. This day ends with an exercise to write a reflective Essay about ones  1) Participation in the class 2) what I have learned or discovered 3) What I have experimented outside class and 4) What were the results. It turns out that this is a same Essay that we must submit next week for peer marking two pages.

Honouring diference

I love South Africa with its culture diversity and tolerance.We have freedom as South Africans to embrace what we believe in. Be it culture practices or religion.That was displayed by group 3.Big ups guys.We always see and hear over the news how intolerant are people, including authorities in other countries.People are denyed  opportunities because of their believes.




Change is change

Being in the second group we were given the topic of Facilitating Change which I found a challenge because we had to represent the topic for everyone to understand and recognize the change in their lives.

I was really impressed by the way my group and I dealt with problems that were thrown at us. We all had to make consensus for each other and when my class mates sister passed away were all saddened by her loss but we knew that we had to forge on.


I enjoyed the presentation and no one knew that we never actually had a full group practice or even contact session. We relied on Whatsapp to discuss critical issues and three group members met the day before to run through the class and make sure that our time would be structured.

I was glad when we got good feedback from the class. I had also been worried that the visualization technique that I would be facilitating may freak some class members out but fortunately they were all game and everybody understood the context of change in their lives. This session inspired me to accept change and I must always be ready for it. I learned how to work with people who were different from me and also to easily forgive.

As things continue

Continuing to attend classes continues to enlighten me but also enlightens me about how others around me feel. Attending the fourth class taught me that I am a creative person and I enjoyed the arm exercises as they were easy but required high concentration which I did not struggle to do. Learning through the activities is really interesting and I enjoy them so much. Learning how to facilitate is much more interesting than just merely doing presentations which tend to be long and boring (mostly).

From my first class I realize that there is so much to learn from the world and those around me.

What I found most useful was the note taking session and I found that I could improve in-terms of my note taking skills. This has already helped me in my International Relations class as I was already putting in what I had learned. I realized that it is very important to know exactly for whom you are writing for.  I look forward to next week’s class and learning more each time I attend.




Dealing with the other side

Brain dominance pattern left brain vs right brain; information sorting styles big picture vs detail; motivation preferences internal vs external; sensory preferences visual vs auditory vs kinaesthetic; learning styles operator vs investigator vs theorist vs initiator. All these different overviews of our personal thinking style preferences but what does it all mean to me? What does it have to do with facilitation?

My brain dominance pattern is the left and I tend to see the finer details and my motivation preference is internal but what does it all mean? It was really funny when we were divided according to which graph was higher and when it was time to debate on which side was better it felt like I was in one of those dance movies such as step up where you battle the other side.

Yes I had a good time laughing in the back cause I was in a “dance battle” but I learnt some very important things in that class such as how to deal with the other side, those who are different in terms of brain dominance patterns and information sorting styles. Going to work on Monday I saw some of my colleagues in a different light as I observed that they use the other side of their brains (right side) and thought about things from different point of views (big picture). The reflection exercise were important to me as it helped me to see which side of my brain I use as I always assumed that I used my right side as people always told me that I use the right side but when I did the exercise I found that they including myself was wrong as I’m a leftie but more important from that class was how I dealt with the other side as well as trying and still trying to find balance not just from my brain dominance pattern but also information sorting styles and bring balance to my life. This class has put more pieces to the puzzle and is beginning to make sense each week.


Unfortunately i missed the groups facilitation of facilitating change, but through Plus Delta i got the picture of how it all was facilitated and it also stirred emotions. What i learnt regarding my learning style was that am a initiator and operator, that was my aha moment. It was fun learning about left brain people and how their operate, we are humans and we learn differently.

2nd week of facilitation

Second week of facilitation the first group was facilitating and their topic was about Communicating via Social Media and i came in a bit late as the facilitation was half way through and we the late comers were lucky as the door was not locked but the we were packed at the door, the group was having fun and well done to the facilitators Daddy and the lady facilitator for holding it done proper.
The are more extroverts in class than introverts and when you get grouped with more than two extroverts in a class activity it takes longer to get to a point or agreement. I’ve learned to start taking interest in other people and be a bit more understanding. My aha moment was filters we use to see things we might look at the same picture and completely see something different, the Plus Delta and how i can apply it to my everyday life as a means of learning and understanding people.

Am out for now.

First day

I remember the first day i got into class it was still half empty, everything was in order and tables in a row. Got there sat at the back on left side of the class next to a window and Ms. Roslyn was facilitating and all that was going through my mind was what is facilitation and how is this class going to be like, slowly more people started coming in and surely the class started filling up. I think it was about 45minutes after i came in and we were told to get up and move the tables and chairs and i thought we going to be in a circle and force to interact with one another and i was not in the mood for all of that as i find meeting new people extremely excruciating. Guess what? Thats exactly what was going to happen we were suppose to go around the class meeting and introducing ourselves to one another, only spoke to a lady that sat next to me earlier and as people went around and introducing themselves i stood there by myself and started scratching my head and thinking this is very awkward for me, as i stood there a lady walked up to me and introduced herself and said ‘ i saw you standing here alone, i see it’s very awkward for you to meet new people’ smiled and replied ‘yeah’ introduced ourselves to each other as the class continued and everything went from structured/ formal setting to very unstructured and all i could think is what is going on here? This is not what i was told when i registered for this course but with all of that i learned a few things, and started to feel at easy with everything, i did not think of of changing the course but actually thought to myself i wonder what is going to happen next Saturday.

Facilitation is

Encouraging every one you come accross to be the best person they can be, being present in the conversation by listening attentively and emphatically to someone,it also means creating the best atmosphere where everyone is relaxed and can be able to express themselves freely without any fear, an atmosphere of trust and respect


They can be a source of light for some but a complete source of destruction for others – imagine sitting in a room full of windows on a winters day, with the sun shining in and warming you up – that would be wonderful, now imagine the sun in all its glory shining in on that exact same room on a hot summers day, would you enjoy it just as much?  I didn’t think so – The Johari Window, made me look at my home as my myself, I have huge windows that I haven’t covered with curtains, that allows me to see out and others to see the beauty within, and then I have curtains on some the windows that I do not want the  contents of those rooms to be exposed to others, only I need to know whats in there, and there are aspects of my home like the plumbing and electricity that others know about that i have no idea and then there things that neither the builder or myself would know, like would this house be able to withstand a natural disaster.

This got me thinking, would it be so bad to let others see the rooms with the curtains on, would i be ashamed to let them in, or would i be able to handle the critics or the compliments – would it not be educational for me to learn about the plumbing and electricity, so in a case of emergency, I will know how to handle the situation and not find myself in a state of panic, and should a natural disaster occur i would like to have strong foundations.

The lesson learnt today, is that the more people you let in and build relationships with, the curtains that were meant to block out will now only be there to add beauty.





I have not blogged in two weeks so here goes…

My group completed our class presentation over a week ago and have since received feedback on our results. I am happy to say that I am pleased with our assessment given that we had a brief time to put the composition together. The title of our presentation was “Honouring Differences” and we put our acting skills as a group to the test and had a lot of nerve wrecking fun performing our message/play in front of the whole class in the process.

Some of the things I observed whilst working in a group were as follows:

  • We all had unique perspectives and ideas on how to approach the task.
  • We were all mindful and respectful of the input/concepts each team member provided even if we didn’t necessarily agree with it.
  • We dissected each idea thoroughly highlighting the pros and cons of each potential direction we could have taken in our presentation.
  • Communication is key.
  • We had a lot of fun working with each other and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience 😊

As we were the group presenting our topic the fascinating aspect for me was the Plus Delta section of the exercise because I got to learn that various people interpreted our presentation differently and in ways, the group did not even plan or think off. Whilst I thought that my team did well to avoid inciting a debate on religion as that was not our objective it did come across that some of my classmates would have preferred to do just that. In hindsight, I think we could have allowed for more discussion/engagement time with our classmates.

And that’s a wrap for now 😊


Well done team…well executed.  It was clear to me that the team was showing us different cultures and I liked the fact that there was no guessing of what they were trying to do.  A lot has changed in culture, we still practice it, but it has evolved, it goes with the times otherwise it would have been dead by now if it was not the case.

I never thought of discussing the five topics that were given to us, birth; initiation; marriage; death and rituals.  The debate around this topics with different people made me realise that there is something in common that we share as human beings, whether you are black or white or pink or blue.  We are all going to die one day, we are all born in this earth.  These are conversations that we never have or even think about when we talk.  When we are given these topics, we never think of the purpose and the results until you are towards or right at the end.  The lesson thought me the ability of learning from one another.  Breaking down the lessons as journey of discovery,; connection and feeling and high engagement and learn from other people’ stories.

From our stories, we touch other people’s hearts, we connect to one another, people feel empathy and they learn.

There is no need for BRAIN stress, yeah right…….

So I tell myself

Shoo! Each week the groups are getting better and better at facilitating their topics, a lot of pressure some of us may think and feel for the upcoming weeks.

The Johari window is very interesting, I discovered what is required for building effective relationships. It will not happen over night but it will definitely happen because this session transformed our thinking and our perceptions about people and a lot of things we were not aware of.

Going through the change process. Starting my journey as a reborn student is tough but also exciting. When I did my self-examination, it left me disheartened because I have to let go of my family visits weekends, stop watching my soapies so often as I used to (I am a television freak):-(

I have placed a self-expectation on myself, I need to get more knowledgeable to be able to reach my goals and cutting my time short with family & the television will hopefully get me there.

I have decided that this is what I need to do to exceed and excell so I am self-directing my life. I am still working on broadening my perceptions as I am not an out going person and only visits family on weekends or they visit us. At work I am also a loner.

My self realization came when I started attending my two classes, one on a Tuesday evening and the other on Saturday mornings. Answer to myself, “you got this, you can do this”

We go through “triple loop learning” where I am slowly but surely discovering myself.


Human dynamics

Honouring difference

The presentation, case study and topics discussed on this day helped me a lot  to learn about other cultures, their traditions and different human behaviours. Before I really wasn’t paying attention to what other cultures get involved into, in terms of rituals and traditional practices

I really was astonished by certain practices that other cultures gets involved in when preforming traditional ceremonies such as giving birth, marriages or burial of a family member.  This has been an eye opening for me and from now on should I meet anyone with a different culture especially coming from outside of our shores, will really have to dig them deep in finding what their cultural practices entails.



Zero to a hundred Real Quick

Zero to a hundred Real Quick

Unfortunately, I was in the first group to present… We had to talk about Social Media. The group dynamics were not challenging since we had a week to prepare. Two meetings and lots of WhatsApp messages saw us through

On the day of presenting I woke-up with the flue. Rushing around Rooderpoort at 6 in the morning trying to find something that would alleviate the sinus congestion proved impossible. I had to do with the grouchy voice, did I mention that I was the host of the media game show. It went great, I think bribing the audience with chocolates and ensuring that the audience had fun eased the burden of presenting… am I allowed to say I was presenting or was I facilitating social media?

In retrospect, I am glad we were the first group to present.

Babalaas, AA Meeting & Group Therapy Circle

Babalaas, AA Meeting & Group Therapy Circle


Bless me Father for I have neglected my studies. It’s been 7 years since my last recognized higher education… ohh wrong place… this is about Facilitation studies


Dear Diary… Still not the correct format??? Anyway, let me BLOG!!!


The first day I was babalass from the Paul Hanmer 20 year celebration of Trains To Taung which took place at The Orbit in Braamfontein. I got home at 3 am and had to wake up at 7 am to come to class, needless to say, I was late. I was still drunk; I was still mesmerized by the piano melodies as they echoed in my ears and burping the alcoholic beverages from the previous night ensured I stayed in that zone for longer than expected. Bizarrely Paul has a song titled “conscienceless-ness”, could he have been in my current state when he came up with this title?


Identified my own learning styles

Guess who’s back?

It has been a rough couple of weeks but we are surviving and thriving:-)

Module 3 was very insightful and I’ve learned something new about myself, I am a left brainer, detailed person, my motivational style is internal, my sensory preference is kinaesthetic and my learning style is investigative. This was my Aha moment in the session.

I have discovered that we as human beings are not all the same in the way we learn and communicate with each other. Some are operators, some are investigators like myself, some are theorist and others are initiators.   With Kolb’s experiential learning cycle, it is clear that no matter what style we each fall under, we will best perform in our personal, work and study life if we acquire all four learning modes.

I do often listen attentively but need to brush up on my listening skills, I need to ask more questions, I need to add more ideas & my knowledge and lastly I need to start exploring with new ideas and the outcomes.

All of the above will improve me as a person.

Signing out



First day

WOW! My first impression when I entered the classroom for the first time, seeing those circled chairs in an empty hall I thought this was going to be something like those Addiction Recovery Programs. During introductions I felt like standing up and saying ”Hi, My name is KG and I am a recovering alcoholic”. I guess it was just me being nervous.

Kudos to the class Facilitator(#SeeWhatIDidThere?) and her assistances for making us feel welcome,  giving each and everyone equal time to participate,  providing enough participant breakout spaces, not being judgemental and last but not least, everyone is recognised in here, no point of order.




Learning Learning

The one thing I took away from this class is that I am a left brainer … This is not new to me I knew it before the course, I now find comfort in this knowing it is what it is and it has its benefits. Previously I wanted to be a right brainer didn’t like being a lefty thought is was inferior but now I see the good things that left brainers have done just by accepting who they are and capitalising on their strongest points … still be aware of the weak points and work on these.

Substance and Form

You best have both!!!

The one cant survive without the other, this is something I was even saying at my workplace after having learned about it….

This is the kind of stuff that makes me self reflect ask questions about myself … which one do I have more of or less of ? Do I have both do I only have one? I use examples from my career and workplace to answer these questions.

MY first AHA moment :

<<<<<::>>>>>::::<<<<:::>>>> My AHA Moment<<<<<<::>>>>::<<>

Fred Kohnan …

When I really come to terms with his Checking in and Checking out.

Being present being aware giving people time and respect.

Now I’m a good listener I know this about myself … I give people time to speak I don’t just respond. I walk away from this class appreciating the importance of this and how much people actually appreciate when you are present with them and giving them the attention they need.

I continue to do this in my everyday endeavours.

Blogggging #Honouring Difference.

Doubting myself now … about this blogging.

As explained, it needs to be what happens to me outside the class with the material I have learned in class?

Deep thinking and internal searching !!!!

On #Honouringdifference … its what I am about, tolerant of people’s beliefs and practices I respect this!

All this is creating and raising awareness for me. Like live and let live! If it works for you, DOIT. and I will respect it so long as its not within my personal space and disrespecting what I stand for.

There really isn’t a wrong and a right way … there is just a way.


Time to reflect

When I started this journey two and half years ago, it was scary and very uncertain. Procrastination has been my weakness for the better part of my adult life. Though it has delayed a lot of my decision making as far as my career progression, I am glad that I find myself where I am in today, I can make better decisions.

A lesson from this past weekend’s class, 2 minutes after a scheduled time is late. We are so accustomed to our African time which allows us to get away with not respecting other peoples’ time. I was 2 minutes late for the start of the group performance on Saturday, as a result, I found myself struggling to catch up with the events of the day. A lesson learned!

Then I got time to reflect. I didn’t know I could write an academic essay to a friend. It has always been my challenge to ‘write creatively’ . I remembered an incident when I asked my 10 year old son at the time what he had done at school that day and he said, we did creative writing in our English lesson. As I didn’t want to come across as an ignorant parent to him, I had to find a way to phrase my question to him so he can tell me what kind of writing this creative writing is. “What did you write in your piece?” I asked. I couldn’t have asked for a better response, he related how he talked about his 2 dogs at home that he loves dearly but despises when he has to pick up after their brown mess. Right there I got my answer, be creative in your storytelling.

Writing a reflective essay felt like creative writing to me. The difference was mine needed to have a combination of facts, lesson learned and experiences.

I find myself falling in love with this facilitation thing every week because of the person it is turning me out to be, coming out of my hard shell. I took up a challenge at work this week which I would not have ordinarily accepted had I not known what I know now

After Day one !!! Who is facilitation .

Within the week following the first Saturday, I learn to unlearn what I have learned. What I knew about the facilitation the different  meaning to different people and finding a new meaning for myself.  Monday in the POLS class I sit next to someone knew. Great them with a smile and eye contact and we chat about the course and struggles of being a student … is this a lucky straw for me ? will this implementation of what I learnt continue or is it still early to tell? Nonetheless I feel good about it .

1 DAY! or Maybe DAY ONE.

I am quiet and then I am loud.

Leaving class the first day I thought HELL!!! Maybe I’ll be one of the ones who drop this course … so much noise literally and figuratively after 5hrs my head is spinning. Where is the structure why is there no control ???? questions buzzing in my head after the lesson.  This did however give me a topic of discussion with the people I had met in class. About how different this course is from what we know … My husband too heard all about it. Including how much of a headache I have from attending the course.

I am learning to unlearn what I have learned.

…And Action!

If you have ever walked into class on a Saturday morning half-asleep. Group four made sure that you were wide awake before you even stepped into the lecture room…

“…And action,” one of the group members exclaimed. “Welcome!”

Looking at the floor, I noticed three grass patches in different sizes and movie posters plucked on the windows.  I wondered if we’re going to watch a movie or a play of some sort. I was then ushered towards receiving fresh popcorn and a refreshment. First thought: how will my group and I top this? Second thought, this is going to be amazing.

This group did an exceptional job in creating a great atmosphere for learning. I was captured from the moment I walked into the building, and I was intrigued by the way which they presented the topic of storytelling. The group showed an understanding of the topic, and what is expected of them according to the marking rubric. They were well prepared and engaged with the audience effectively. There was a clear indication of group work.

Second half of the day, writing exercise:

The writing exercise was a good way to show that we are all writers, all we need to do is establish a tone/ voice that we’re most comfortable in writing in.  My experience and learnings on writing for a friend, lecturer and to myself are as follows:

Writing to a friend: 

The use of language and the tone is easy, laid back and conversational. It is not factual and tends to jump from one thought to the next. There was no flow or sequence.

Writing to a lecturer: 

My thinking, language and posture changed immediately. This piece of writing began to take shape and form. It was factual, with a formal tone. It was cohesive and it was nothing short of stiff.

Writing to myself: 

This was like a motivational piece, it was filled with affirmations, learnings and goals. The tone was also serious and it felt as though I was giving myself a pep talk. This was easy to write but it carried way too much emotion and exposed thoughts that I would not divulge to anyone.

Each week brings with it learnings and a truck full of aha moments, I am finding it fulfilling to be able to take these learnings, and experiment with them practically in the workplace, and in all the spaces that I occupy.


The journey

My Saturdays have thoroughly become far more interesting. Every Saturday I feel like I am in a journey. Unrefined, unplanned and definitely full of surprises. I have enjoyed every presentation and groups are on a weekly basis pushing the bar even higher. I have started counting the things I really enjoy about work, me and my family…concentrated less on negatives. My decision to always sit next to a different person every week has helped me start conversations and build friendships. Although, the weather has not played nice these past weekends but that has not kept me from waking up early and coming to class. I know I am bound to find myself scribbling down notes of things I didn’t know before and that are interesting. This journey is teaching me a lot about myself too. I felt it also when we were asked to write about the course to a friend, lecturer or fellow student in class ….I shared so much detail and information with my friend Neo …in those two minutes I had half a page and still wanted to write more. Maybe I should ask her to send me her new home address and post the letter 🙂

Nice making friends outside of work & home

I have been so closed off from the world – I would say over the last 7 years – that I forgot what it was like to meet new people / friends. The only people I know right now / last 7 years is my current friends, family & work colleges. Via my group team discussions I realized that they are so many caring, funny people out there that I could grow to become friends with. The facilitation course and made me realize that I still have some social kick left in me 🙂


So its our second lecture and I am really surprised to see how excited people get to partake in class activities. It reminded me of being back at school – you know when the teacher asks someone to volunteer to do show and tell. Its great to see how elated my classmates were. I guess Ros and the environment of the class make people feel comfortable to be themselves – which I think is great.


So its our second lecture and I am really surprised to see just how excited and “pumped up” people get to partake in activities. It reminded me of being back at school – you know when the teacher asks someone to volunteer to be class monitor or to do show and tell.
I guess Ros and the environment make people feel comfortable – which is great.

Morning at the movies

This week class go off to a great start, the group presentation was storytelling, they went out of their way in terms of preparation, we were all greeted by popcorn and a movie ticket which was a pleasant surprise so early in the morning.

The presentation itself was very interactive, lots of games and bits of information. Hats off to Safoora who had the courage not just to speak but sing to us, that was brave J


The lesson was centred around finding your own voice to write in, we done some examples of writing to your best friend, lecturer, self-etc. This exercise helped in finding your best style to work with. Turns out my best voice for the moment is writing to a friend.

First Reflective essay is due on 02 Sep, this is starting to feel real a bit of pressure coming up.

Reflective writing…

eish there is always a lots of the moments of the day  when you are about to talk about what happened in the day. You don’t know where to begin but the  must hurting part is when you got yourself locked out with just a minute inch but anyway circumstances are always our excuse for the day on why are we late.

And you try so hard to listen to the comments from the audience cause you hope that you will find a little bit of insight about the group that was telling their story until when someone explained to you then that’s when you understands what was up.

Then we reflect through a friend wow on our four questions of the day. What a nice experience to look back and ask yourself then you realized that yes of cause this class wasn’t a waste of time but there is a lot that it has contributed to your life from its every sphere.

I couldn’t find it more interesting to write an essay to a friend and myself because I would not know which way is the right way to go about it but when I was asked to write to the lecturer I knew I was doing the right thing because I had an idea in my mind on what the lecturer’s expectation from my essay. So I realised that in most of the times when we write something to someone our attitude about why are we writing contribute to the work that we are doing.

A nervous wreck

So here we are in the week that we have to hand in our first assignment and I am not ready .I’m not much of a writer as you can tell by my recent blogs and I’m sure this will be no better, but I’m committed and I am going to give it a shot.

I started reading my manual again and I must admit this is a good read if you apply yourself to it the lesson about Checking Inn and checking Out by Fred Kohnan is something I really think would help more people if they had to apply it to their very day interaction with people. It was a revelation for me. I think I mentioned it before; I should listen more and talk less, which can be hard sometimes. As Kohnan explains in an article in the manual. “It is only when we begin to listen without judgment that the door for a deeper understanding and dialogue.” (Kohnan 1994) .Managers especially would have major success if they applied this principle. That was my “aha” moment.

The other Tool that got me thinking as well was tool 10, four principles and one law.People who are meant to be in your life are in it ,they are the right people for whatever reason they are meant to be there, so now I see my fellow students whom I interact  are meant to be there. The here and now moment is all that matters, it is taking that moment and making the most of it, Funny story yesterday we had another Eskom moment, electricity was out for about an hour and my daughter was getting anxious because she had a history project to complete, I tried to console her by letting her see another side of the situation ,what could she do in that moment of darkness and no electronics, I got her to think about anything else but the inconvenience of no electricity. What can you do in that moment, asking yourself that question allows you to think out the box? The third principle, when it starts it’s the right time, our wishes and plans. Example many of us doing our studies now may be asking ourselves the question, why did i not start it earlier or why was i so stupid to think making money was more important than my studies, that is not the point the point is you are here and now. The last principle, do not worry about “SPILT MILK” as the saying goes. You cannot change what has happened, when it is over it is over and the sooner you realise that the less pain you will have to deal with.

Therefore, this was very interesting and encouraging. It has given me some things to think about and to try to apply in my day-to-day activities.


We all say ‘How are you?’ … but how important is the answer

One of the first techniques Roz shared with us was ‘Check in’ and ‘Check out’ where you connect at initial interaction and then leave that interaction with mutual understanding of what has transpired. … Or that is how I understand it to function.

Now, we all involuntarily greet and recite ‘How are you?’ but how many times have we been guilty of or observed others proceeding into ‘business’ without waiting for the response. If you’ve ever found yourself at the unresponding end of a ‘how are you?’ then you may know the feeling of insignificance which follows. Often being brushed off in this manner leads to non cooperation and poor communication between parties.

I’ve always asked the question with intent and curiosity but have become more cognizant of the implications of check in and check out since Roz has relayed it as a facilitation technique to us.

Check in and check out does not only occur in formal settings such as meetings or facilitation workshops but can occur informally as you interact with people naturally. Aside from knowing the other person’s frame of mind; in my opinion this technique connects back to honouring differences as well.

Honouring difference does not only apply to gender, race or religion. It also encompasses how we differ in temperament, reaction or mood. Checking in allows lets you determine the interaction you may have with somebody.  You may find in some situations its better to go straight to ‘business’ whilst in some others more emotional connection may be required. I have experienced both of these in the workplace where its strictly business with some of my colleagues whilst its more beneficial to connect at an emotional level with others.

Checking out confirms that all parties have understood outcomes and objectives and leaves less room for vagueness or misunderstanding. Checking out does not automatically mean agreement but it does help towards eliminating confusion or various ‘versions of the truth’.

In conclusion … in order to facilitate a positive outcome, it is important to first meet people where they are and end by having all parties understand the conclusion in similar fashion.




Honouring Difference

Honouring Difference after the group had presented i Learned to appreciate and value diverse views. Do not judge views that differ from yours as wrong. Instead, just accept that they are different and even try to understand other points of view. Learn what you can. Reading about or talking to members of another culture or visiting a friend’s cultural celebration is a great way to increase your knowledge and overall acceptance. In class we also learn left and the right brained. As much as i learned about the Brain dominance patterns it was also an eye opener for me. It has helped me to understand people as well as their behavior as well the way they prefer to do things. In my own space i have learned to look at things differently and appreciate differences. Thinking style challenge was also helped me understand The more you understand somebody, the better you can adapt your style.
in conclusion a little insight can go a long way when it comes to connecting with people.If you can bridge the gap between their thinking style and yours, you’ll have more rapport and get better results.

The Mind is a Powerful Tool

The mind is a powerful tool. The body is weak but the mind is willing. Class started off with a warm welcome from group 4 along with an excellent presentation of the big picture this was an important presentation for me personally as it helped me reflect on my thinking style profile of seeing things in ‘detail’ in the information sorting styles and the presentation helped me with trying to find balance with the big picture and detail.

The first exercise of the power of the mind was interesting as all you had to do was just say your name while your partner moves your arm either up or down, easy enough. Just say your name but it got difficult as the force applied by my partner distracted me but training my mind to not be distracted by the task at hand made the task doable.

The most important task done in the class was what I describe as the ‘art of note taking’ which I found beneficial as I was never the greatest at note taking or would be easily distracted from the task at hand. The task where I learnt how to get my mind focused at the task at hand for writing my essay by writing about anything for 2 minutes as well as writing my essay to different people who were my friend, my mom and lecturer. The task was beneficial to me as I have used what I learnt in class at home for my schoolwork as I have discovered new ways at note taking and results have been better than expected as I have been able to write from different points of view about the same subject but to different people and style of language. The note taking task will help me with my reflection essay and help me with more academic essays in the future. This is a new piece to add to the puzzle.

What a week.

Blog 3.

What a week.The fact that from the very first minute i walked out of class i have been meaning to blog but never managed to do so between a son with whizzy chest and terribly blocked nose and a husband whose luggage was lost in transit via S.A.A to Namibia I truly do not know how I coped such a hectic week.

Four days in that ungodly hospital chair/bed in hospital I pray that it never happens to me anytime soon.I think it all wiped away my expierience in class.I should have blogged early.Well earlier than my week started to spiral out of my control.

The group that was presenting went on and on about change.I am so sure from the feedback it did’nt rub the class right.Comments were from “I am clinically depressed” “It was dangerous” “Given what I hear here I am glad I did’nt see it”
Could it be change that rubbed everyone so wrong.Could it be change that created such hostile environment.Well executed task though.Planned to the T. Thought provoking qoutes well done group 2!!!!!!

As for my hectic week.It is the thing of the past now.!!!


Well well well the past week has not only been challanging but it was extremely uncomfortable as the day of presentation got closer and closer.Not only had I have many sleepless nights but the idea of presenting what I had to present was excrutiatingly scary and not so easy.But I truly did learn from life.That whether you are involved in getting planning and playing along from the initial idea or you step aside and allow those who are leading to lead or simply being led you are still Accountable to the outcome of the whole presentation.After all you were a team and yes you are suppose to work hand in hand and harmoniously.

Life has taught me that wherether you play along or you withdraw and take instructions!!You still are responsible of the outcome of groupwork.The task seemed not only daunting but I kept asking myself what m I suppose to learn from this.With utter irritation and absolute annoyance I wasa quite as a mouse in my corner.Of course I contributed what was asked but over and above that my creative juices could absolutely not kick in at all.Well heres to finishing the task with high utmost best success🌟💫🍷🍹🍸As a group we carried each other weaknesses and all‼❗🆗It is an achievement for me regardless.

Reflective Writing

Reflective writing is the hardest type of writng anyone can do.  Most of us feel we know what we are feeling about evy day emotions, feelings and learnings.  It is hard to see or feel ones responses to thoughts and feelings as well as exploring your learning an to gain self-knowledge.  This is my first attempt on reflective writing and i am actually not sure if i am doinf this correctly (have mercy).  What gives me confidence is the fact that this is only a draft essay that needs to be submitted in class on Saturday and there is another opputunity to submit a final after it has been marked and comments wil be given.  So yippiee….i get to have another shot at making my essay a sucess.

Johari Window

The Johari window absolutely blew my mind because about three months ago, my team at work and I went on the insights discovery training which ties back to the Johari window. I learnt so much about myself which was on point, to a degree that I couldn’t understand how so much can be revealed about a person by just filling in a simple insights evaluator. The insights profile of myself revealed that there are numerous unknown areas to myself and others,  I learnt that I am a person that does not reveal my true feelings in fear of being criticised to hurting other feelings which I can translate to the hidden area of the Johari window.   Thank-you to facilitation that has now out it into perspective


story telling

Watching the team that had the story telling theme was so inspiring. They had thought of capturing the audience from the time we walked into the class. As I walked into the classroom I was stopped an given a movie ticket, popcorn and a cold drink, it made me feel like I was about to watch something at the movies or theatre. They all wore the same colour and stood greeting everyone that walked into the class which made me feel so welcomed and excited to see what they had prepared for the class.

What an awesome expereince created for the audience….WOW,  I walked out of class feeling that the next groups need to really step up to the plate.

One step forward

I get into the 4th week of Facilitation with a totally open mind, as much as I do not want to admit this openly (in the hood, they say snitches get stitches, so remain silent at all times and do not speak out loud), but I do find myself somewhat enjoying the class.  As the facilitator had mentioned in 1st week lecture, “there will be no structure”, I have to say that, that ruffled my feathers a bit. Anyways we are on now on the 4th week, having missed week 3 facilitation class due to other commitments, I find myself quite eager to find out, what I missed out on.  It is still go to note that I am still somewhat in my comfort zone, the intrinsic anti-social human being that I am kicks in, and again straight again I look for a space where I can somewhat disappear of into the sunset (not that type of Romantic Hollywood garbage that we get fed), I digress, I search for space where it would be impossible for the facilitator to notice me, and at best where I would cease to be visible to anyone in the class.  The topic of the day is honouring differences, quite an interesting topic.  This is very interesting topic, especially for me.  Just as I thought on the subject matter, the group presiding over the presentation did justice to the topic.  We now get into the nitty gritty of the weeks facilitation.  It goes deeper into the differences subject matter, the tasks given to us just like the group’s facilitation highlight to me one simple and important thing, similarities, we have so many similarities as human being, but we seemingly always get caught up in the BS of differences.    Highlights for me for the weeks facilitation (I believe that the enlightened ones call it the AHA moment, whatever that means), were embracing different perspectives, the three domains of disclosure (Boy do I have a story related to this), Johari’s window (I still think that it is somewhat the same as the domains of disclosure), and the SCARF model.  In my quest to unearthing my truest potential I had to engage a number of people, and the perception that they have of me, primarily around the initial perception that they have (I have no control of people’s perception of, I come from a school of thought that says, people’s opinion of me is none of my business), to my surprise, I was told that I am arrogant, stuck-up, I never knew that about myself, this was an awakening, well to me at least.  I take it that this persona, that clearly evident in the public arena/domain.  My initial reaction, was to go into my defensive and go for the kill, this resides in my unconscious (although I was previously aware of this), fight or flight type of theory.  I mean how dare they, me arrogant, next to Mother Theresa and Nelson Mandela (call us the holy trinity) I am probably the most humble person that you will ever meet (But I guess that this resides in my Private domain), only those in my inner circle would be able to attest to this.  This perception of me as told by a number of people, made me actually sit back and have an internal fight, why is it that people, did not see me for who I really am? How and what made get this character attribute? In my introspection (Yes, Kolbe Theory again, it seems to be recurring), I started looking back, I think the hippies call it the Law of Primacy and recency (We have not yet arrived at the recency part).  As the law states, I can remember it, because there is where it all started, the anti-social behavior, the perceived arrogance etc.

The one thing that I am thoroughly enjoying about facilitation has to be the internal confrontations that I have to endure, in understanding both my flaws as well as my strengths. I am starting to see the light, not at the end of the tunnel, but some form of light, that if you are to be good facilitator, that one would need to embrace, ones weakness, all the while embracing ones strengths.  This can both be used in one’s private and public life.  Starting to slowly realise that Nirvana, is not a Buddhist myth.

What is Facilitation?

today is my second time of blogging,, he!he!he! guess what? i found 3 comments in my in box! the first question i have is , why are they commenting? are they allowed to read what i wrote? what if its wrong or not the right way of blogging? phela i’m learning here and wouldn’t like anyone making fun of my mistakes.

anyway, back to what i want to say today.

firstly to get to this screen/page was a nightmare.i did not know where to go and edit. i carefully read all the icons on the screen and decided to click on posts on my left hand side.i saw my previous topic (blogging) under title,then i saw my name and surname under author, categories was uncategorised! hey! another headache. what must i put here? what categories go in here? technology, i’m scared of you.

i want to talk about facilitation today. what i`ve learnt and think of the word,is an act  of helping others deal with a process of agreement or solution among each other creating connection, trust,respecting other people’s views and the need to have a certain level of expertise in your filed.its more or less like teaching because you require skills for it, and the skills i am learning everyday in class gives me the confidence to come out of my cocoon and stand before a crowd!

thank you Ros!

I am the life of the story

I am a storyteller. That is how I relate to people around me through stories. I want them to relive an experience through my eyes so from time to time I exaggerate a lot of details, I add details that don’t exist, I extract details because there is a particular way I want the story to come off, there are particular emotions I want to invoke.

I tell stories in the manner in which I would like to be told stories – I want them to come alive, I want to envy you for experiencing what I could not. I love stories. And I think I’ve earned my stripes in the game.

I talk endlessly. I lose the plot, I start a story, start telling the next one long before the last one has ended, I mix them up (unintentionally). I tell a happy mess and if by the end you are unconvinced, I will start again retell the story til you buy into it. lol.

For centuries we’ve been told stories, stories we believed, stories we live by, stories we passed on, stories we kept to ourselves – stories from lovers, parents, siblings, neighbours and whats fantastic about stories is the art of bringing people together for a common cause.

To tell them on paper is a different experience because its up to the reader to create their own experience – without your voice and theatrics. So storytelling is a two way in that sense and if I’m going to tell the story I can only hope you come to the party by giving yourself to the experience.

I love stories, authentic and real. And I appreciate people who tell them.

Long live storytellers, long live



The science of rituals

What we are taught at home is pure science. At home we are taught lessons and life’s ways, things we cannot learn at school (don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise). Science begins at home. In many African cultures for example we are taught never to sweep at night because there are evil forces lurking in dark, waiting patiently to use your garbage against you or never to sweep your own feet (a mistake easy to make) because you would never get married or never to cut your nails at night. THE LIST IS ENDLESS. And it might sound absurd to some but there are many of you that will relate to what I’m talking about. This is science to us (even though we start to discard some of these as we grow up). The point is, we are taught a lot at home – who to be, how to be, why to be.

Which brings me to rituals – again a science we are taught at home. A science that teaches us who to be, how to be and why to be.

During the class where we spoke about rituals it was interesting to discover how much our perceptions on rituals had changed. What i discovered (shockingly) is that we have become so intolerant or unwilling to follow rituals and ideals that no one could explain in terms of origins and in terms of the reasons we follow them.

Rituals change over time, they became diluted, they lose meaning, they lose their essence but still we follow (sometimes blindly) but what I also found interesting is the eagerness to start our own rituals, in our own homes, with our own people.

I’m humoured by the story about the box that stops the wind from blowing out the candles and what humours me is that even after being told why the box was used in the first place, the new wife felt uncomfortable to leave the ritual behind because its what ties her to the rest of her family – she does not want to be the outlaw (when she’s already the inlaw LOL!!)

On the one hand, we seek change and context to these rituals we grow up following but on the other hand we want to conform to them. I guess, different strokes for different folks.

Rituals are a science we choose to either follow or not and that’s ok because not everyone believes the science  of blind following.

Anyway, let me go cut my nails (at 10pm)…




Reflective writing.. our everyday life story

Whether you choose to pen down your story or share it through face-to-face in an emotional and bonding experience of the story teller and the listener.  The fact is that everyone and everyday there is a story to tell, it might be a good or a bad one to tell.  It has a legacy and got me thinking about the three-dimensional thinking in which one who really find him/herself in a incremental thinking on what has worked in past. Furthermore, with a reflective learning in order to have an insight on who things are done and lastly, with a transformational learning in reflection of re-examing my original thinking in light of results achieved.

Therefore, reflecting back in my participation with my group 4 (story telling) team.. portrayed without any limitation that stories can be told in different formats. We needed to demonstrate through a movie theme and yet appreciating those who came before us, those who shared their stories just like we could relate with the Catherals.. who had a vision of building structure that they never had an opportunity to see.  They believed that seeing a vision.. is seeing the BIGGER PICTURE!!

Big up to my Group 4… ! We managed to remind everyone to reflect and write their own stories in their own right.  It could be through communication via social media in which we facilitate change as we continue honouring differences with self-mastery through story telling.


4th class getting tougher

The business of schooling getting tougher. the writing skills that were evoked in all of us, wow amazing to know we have so much to write from our minds, not really sure about writing to different people that being a friend, self, and lecture..realized writing is just writing. .. thank you for the lesson on how to unblock the writers block. ..So wishing to read what others will bring forth next week Saturday….apologies to the group presenting story telling last week.

Getting into class after the presentation is done just feels like one has missed a major part of the day lesson, stakes getting higher wow food decor on point perfect time to have brought my offsprings to class.

The spirit of trust and being liberal will continue, a great start to all, Lesson learned to know that as an extrovert, One has to know when to keep quiet,  stolen quote from R2000- If u want to avoid criticism- do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.

I am not sure if I can write

I am not sure if I can write

My academic essays have been a sad tale, to say the least.  After the lessons learnt today’s (26.05.17) class, though I hope that will change. Its stress me in many cases.  It becomes so serious. I does not help that my mother is a serious academic, a professor to be exact. The pressure mostly comes from her and all her academic friends asking if I am as brilliant as my mother, that at least one of her children should be like her, or when is your PHD happening.

I just want to walk my own journey academically or not with the comparison. Those boots are big first of all to fill and in want to fill up a pair of Christian Louboutin’s, with a red bottom.

Trying to articulate an argument in formal posh English. As mentioned in class by a fellow classmate, even the posture changes and all of a sudden the thought process changes. Having being taught different ways of writing, I hope I improve my writing.

I did not understand at first why were asked to write what ever came to mind. Which showed me that actually one thinks of a lot at one go. My first thoughts were along the lines of  I need to clean my place , my mother wants me to visit , I need to collect my passport and much more.

Then the writing to various people changed the way I wrote. Personally, writing to a friend was not fun; at this point in time my best friend and I are just not in a good space. Making it difficult to share with her. I felt fake and superficial writing to her. I held back sharing only the bare minimum with her.  I just cringed when that was brought up. I am not sure if I still have a best friend to share and write to.

A woman in class mentioned that when she wrote to self she could not run away from herself.  I felt the same, the truth I could not hide from or shove it off to the side, its truths that follow me daily. In addition, writing to myself is not easy. I have to deal with me daily.  Maybe writing to my self makes me uncomfortable.

How self-aware am I?

Often I have noticed with myself through my eyes only. Sharing the things, we want people to know and understand information we can control. To portray a certain person without maybe looking at the three domains of disclosure. My posture changed, I smiled less and just was not approachable at all. Which is sad because I work with people I should never unapproachable or a person who is unable to empathize and assist others.

Controlled feelings and actions. I know most of the time I want to remain in control and keep certain feelings and responses under wraps to be explored and truly felt in my personal space.  Looking back and realizing some blind spots, people can pick up when my mannerisms change or my attitude towards them, without saying it. I had not noticed but the excuse a few weeks back that I was tired at work after a huge event.  I just did not want to share my personal experience. Not realizing it had spilled over onto my work environment. With my colleagues left feeling uneasy around me. Meanwhile in my world, I thought I had my emotions under wraps. My colleague though later called me out to pull myself towards myself. There was too much tension around me and was, unintentionally spilling over to my colleagues.

From the human dynamics class I realized I am not as self-aware as I would like. That I need to look out for my actions in relation to others. Reflect and identify what maybe going on internally and externally.  I hope that learning to change or improve negative behaviors.  Which will require a certain degree of being open. Which, I am not sure of sharing the personal at work or things that are external to work. I would not want the personal to be used against me or twisted. Maybe its better I keep to myself and learn to use the imaginary tree technique.  Having an imaginary tree outside my house and office to all the problems of each environment when I leave.


Facilitating Change

One of the most difficult elements in any change process is the feeling of powerlessness, and lack of control that many people face, especially when the change has been imposed from outside and there has been little choice about the change. I have personally witness changed in the work place, our company was recently bought that came with a lot of change especially from top management. The new company introduced changes and some of the changes they came with were not well received company received a few resignation letters. Our company consisted of 19 employees in total and receiving 5 resignation letters in a space of 3 months panic was created within the work place. i found myself job hunting even thou top management assured me that my position in the company is secured, moral was down and loss of team cohesion.

it was vital for me to understand myself, and how i personally react to change. We know that it’s unlikely the majority of us will embrace regular change, but what happens to us as individuals going through change, and how much of this is affected by the sort of people we are with moral in the team down communication began to deteriorate new employees were recruited some senior some junior.

My main aim was to reflect on what i can influence accept change as it was beyond my control focus on what s required of me within the company. Yes it was difficult at first however i forced myself to adapt to change.

Communicating via social media

As technology grows and expands our range of communication, social media is becoming a vital tool for daily social interaction. It creates opportunities for people to interact with each other in the way that is both helpful and essential to socially motivate people.

Personally i feel young people are using social networks to engage in various content and express themselves not only for socializing and leisure, but also for public issues or topics of interest. People bring their personal problems to social media for everyone to see, as a reserved individual i feel social media is not a platform to bring out your personal problems. People should learn to stop posting their problems on a social media platform, I truly believe that social media has the power to make the world a better place. they are ways in which we can use social media for social good, the aim is for us to use social media as a tool to do social good to name a few create awareness and transfer helpful information share job position.

Cultural Diversity. (Rituals)

Firstly well done team 4,great presentation.  Okay now my favourite of all today talking about Rituals and the Diversity of our cultures, today as we were given a task to know about Rituals done at birth, death ,Marriage. I learnt a lot about Tsonga people and their roots. we all live in S.A but very ignorant and less curious to know about other cultures. As a Xhosa traditional woman I am proud to say I have much respect for Tsonga tradition. I met KG in the first round, then I met Amukelani both humble souls. Every Saturday I learnt something new and I am glad that I learnt positive things that touches my soul. Learnt about Barometers and I learnt a lot on communication when we did the exercise of the CEO and Executive Members. Looking forward to next week……

Reflective Writing – Story Telling

Reflective writing for me personally, is something that I did not really do too often prior to taking the facilitation course. However, the course has helped me to use reflective writing on a weekly basis, and it has also learned me how the express some thoughts and opinions.

With regards to the presentation that was presented by group 4, I feel that there were a lot of positives that I took from the presentation. I liked all of their exercises. The circle one especially. The exercise where the stone had to be placed within the frame, was unique and I took a lot from it.

Something that I think that the group could’ve improved on, was the time of the presentation. And also I do feel that maybe a better explanation could’ve been given prior to the start of the presentation with regards to the main topic and goals.

Over all though, good presentation, well done guys.

Honoring Diffrence

Simple when you say, but challenging to put in practice.

I say this because when Group 3 enacted honoring difference it became so clear that one subconsciously rejects things that are not necessarily aligned to personal believes and principals. Be in politics, religion even sports.

The question is how do you accommodate other peoples differences especially when you expect people to accept your difference. Group 3 did an excellent job of showing that even in our differences we can co-exist.

What is important is that we stop to hear people out and understand why their difference makes sense to them.  Stopping and actually listening can make all the difference, no matter how much you think that your way is the right way.

A good of example of this is the short story of the new CEO that in our course packs that had a wealth of knowledge and may very well have been able to turn the company around.  However, what he perhaps did not do is the soft skills of just stopping and hearing the Executives team that had been running the company for so many years.

As people there are things we are all good of, it is wonderful for your THING to be acknowledged and noted.  We are all want to be seen and heard.  The new CEO eventually learned this important lesson, as have i.

The SCARF model speaks to this so diligently.  As i am typing this blog i am suddenly realize that when someone doesn’t let you into their space it does not mean that they do not respect you. It may just be communication, my part and their part.  Responding to events and behaviors.

What i am okay with the next person does not have to be okay with As soon as i  respect that not all my expectations can be met, the sooner i possibly can be a rainbow in someone sky – as the amazing Maya Angelou once said.

I pledge to try always to honor other peoples differences.   As the penny drops and i become enlightened, i look forward to learning more [riceless lessons.




Dear Facilitation

Dear Facilitation


I am writing this letter to you to thank you for introducing me to myself and confirming what i have always known.

I have always known that i am a left brainier, spontaneous in my decision making, solution driven, risk taking and goal oriented.  I don’t necessarily go by the rules.

Facilitation my friend, thank you for making me feel like that is okay.  That my approach to doing things is not necessarily a bad, but most important my dear friend Facilitation, thank for you making me realize that i can co-exist with my right brain acquaintances.  Just because they are planners, step by step type of people doesn’t mean that we can accommodate each other.

Thank you for teaching me that although we are different we can rope each other in and get the work done.  Left-right!!

Just like taking the good with the bad.  Left and right are good brains.


I cant thank you enough Facilitation.



r~fl~tive Rrr-Ting

[don’t mind the spelling, it’s reflecting it’s writing]

While we wait for our topic to reflect back on the experience gained with knowledge received – Let’s reflect on what I have learned last week and today’s Group 3’s presentation.

  • Aha moment – was mostly the tools learnt within the workbook.
  • Group 3’s presentation used religion to portray honouring difference last week.

Today, Group 4 presented with a Bang : THE BIGGER PICTURE under story telling topic. Lights, camera action was for sure portrayed and quite to the point. Auduence was captured and we could reflect on what was shared. My expectations werent met, however, changed. A framework for learning was created. I really enjoyed the group activity of how Group 4 on how they reflected on the previous weeks group based on the Johari Window. We were engaged and enjoyed it. I would of liked more story telling though my DELTA.

Reflective Writing – [oh, welcome back in the proper spelling. Here we dont judge – it’s a blog go free].

Automatic writing looked like this:

This is where my slang of pessimistic talk in the most sarcastic way came into play through writing. (I will share a link at the end of my blog to what I actually wrote during the writing exercises).

Writing to Friend – looked like this:

So pretty – I thought. How my writing became honest in a more respective manner. An overview of the course was given and what is expected of me – is to write a reflective essay. Moreso, I explained the tools learnt. I did emphasise my ICE-BREAKER- Check in and Check out attitude only because I am so fascinated that something so over-rated always work. I found myself speaking about my goals based on perceptions of people towards me and my own towards them in class.

Writing to Self – looked like this:

“Ok, so this is getting BORING!”. Oops! another to honest comment from pessimistic self or should I rather express my honesty here? reflective writing is not so enjoyable because I am not used to it, however, expressing my experiences is more enjoyable. We all know why? The extrovert has now spoken while deligentlyfollowing instruction in being an introvert for the purpose of this course.

I carried on writing with the motivation of Group 4’s Bigger Picture concept. Then I found myself in a deeper form of thought to why the class was difficult. I expressed it as pockets of stimulation not as a bad thing but good thing. This shifted another way of participation – I got to see our introverts come out and this warmed my heart – That was one example of a pocket of stimulation. Just as side note – 3 years in academic and your mind waits for that heavy academic dumbell to hit your stimulation juices – now all of a sudden lets change the flavour of the juice. BANG!

Writing to a lecturer – Looks like this:

Ag this is so neat and in order – Just what the leacturer would want. My tone of voice changed and even my handwriting became more upright and respectful. I must admit this was the hardest to write and only got 6 lines in writing. I used words like ‘enhancing experience’ , ‘academic tools’ and ‘workplace effectiveness’.

The bottom line is that the Facilitation course is academic and as much as it is reflective, the writing guidlines are essential to get a 80%  – Which is my goal.

Closing off – I wish everyone best of luck with their reflective draft essays due for next week.

Attached is the link to read my reflective writing to different persons:

Refective exercises


HONOURING DIVERSITY ~ 9865×8= we are calculated & different.

Last week we learned that change is the  most constant thing in our lives:

The learning spiral, I have applied since I started this course. This was one of the reasons why I did not want to speak about myself. To change perceptions about the purple headed lady – me. I have a lot of fun with this at work as I connect with people on a personal level face-to-face in their offices and enjoy sharing random intellectual topics or even advice to Legal Advisors that have specialized skills andI am only a legal secretary. The learning spiral has made my colleagues listen to me and most of all accept me for who I am. This is an accomplishment that not many companies and colleagues can succeed in. Another interesting factor that Group 3 presented on is accepting and honouring difference. The Three-Dimensional Thinking tool is another personal favourite because not only do you dig deeper into your thoughts an why you think the way you do but now we ask questions about why and how certain systems came to be? , due to what perception? can it be changed? and what behaviour or thinking should take place to do so?Today, Human Dynamics – we paired up and spoke about the case study.  Tool 16 known as the Stakeholder Map was again an absolute favourite. Why? because it is here where one embraces different perspectives based on peoples standing point of view. [ And it is ok to have a different point of view].

This links to a further discovery of the Three Domains of Disclosure that holds the public, private and unconscious factor.

Public – What is known of the self by the self and others. It can be visible, felt, actions or be exchanging of words.

Private – What is known to only the self. A part that the self may use to manipulate others because they can’t see or are aware of that part about you.  This involves our beliefs, experiences etc.

Unconcious – What is unknown to self and others. Experiences or feeling unaware of.

Even though I discussed these interesting learning tools and how I have used them already. One tool I am planning to use at the end of our Group presentation is The Johari Window at the Blind Spot” where self is unknown to self but others know of. My plan is to ask my group questions about my blind spot. I think this is a safe opportunity to be critiqued by a group that I trust and can self-develop within my workplace in the future.

To conclude with tool 21 – which seems to constantly challenge me to how one deals with senior managers opposition: The resistance Barometer. However, I have successfully remained calm. I have a broader perspective on people and the workplace and how they interact with their positions and characters within their environment. It remains fascinating because some managers may be highly skilled but may not have this precious insight – The Tool facilitations course has given me thus far.

Next week – Let’s do Some writing skills!

honouring differences

Wow, I really like this topic. it is very controversial and normally invokes personal feelings. but I must say that I was impressed on how it was handled in class, it really did honour differences, it acknowledged that we are different as human beings, we are from different eras ‘ different cultures and different backgrounds but we are all human and we are unified as one which is human beings.

I enjoyed how everything that was discussed in class linked so much with honouring others. What stood out for me was learning about the similarities and differences about the the different rituals that we perform. I got an in-depth view about other people’s rituals.

The Johari window also taught a thing or two. this course is sure a steering wheel in my life and I’m glad that I am doing it.


When my Aha was in the Case Study, I identified so much with the Executive Team. The same thing was happening at my recent employer where I ended up leaving just a few months ago.

Listening to a new “Leader” go on and on about themselves; where they have been, what they have seen others do and the things that they want to change without having one on one meetings with everyone to try and understand what their day to day operations are, can cause one to switch off and give only that which is asked of them and not go the extra mile.

We normally make situations be about ourselves in desperation to want to prove to the world that we know what we are doing, forgetting that we need others to perform to our fullest.  We do not check how what we say can impact those around us. We get so consumed in being the bosses of our territories.

Resistance comes in different forms and that can frustrate us since we mostly don’t stop and think about hearing views from other people. We believe that everything we say or do is right, even though other people may not agree with us or make us aware of it, especially our blind spots.

Group 3’s HONOURING DIFFERENCE, was silent and very short but to many, it was straight to the point. To be honest, I was a bit confused in the beginning as the group didn’t say a word but just acted. At the end though, during feedback I really got to understand what message they were sending.

Sitting in groups discussing different rituals at various stages of our lives, I got to learn a lot about other cultures and religions. Traditionalist as I am, I realised that I didn’t know enough about what is out there and how some cultures/religions were similar to mine, some people also didn’t know about my culture and still proudly frowned upon it during the discussions. Before reacting, I quickly remembered that a facilitator doesn’t put emotions to issues and instead apply an open mind and understand that people see things differently and educates when necessary.

I appreciated the facilitation more during feedback and I realised that as different as we are, we shouldn’t look down upon each other and that we need to embrace each other’s differences and most importantly respect them.

I learnt that we might all be coming from diverse cultural backgrounds or religions, but we are all drawn to the same force. We have different names for who we worship but we are all from the same universe and we have the same creator. Our differences are what makes this world and interesting place with endless learning.

HONOURING DIFFERENCE; An activity that will make an action or a process easy or easier. From today, I am going to try every single day to honour and respect difference in all areas of my life starting with You.


Group 4, I am ready for you, bring in on and let’s listen and watch you TELL YOUR STORIES.


In this week’s workshop, I learnt how imperfectly perfect left and right brainers can work together in their differences.

The activities during class where according to the test results, we were grouped, were amazing. Learning that accepting and embracing your “YOU-NESS” is okay. For years I was told through various stages of my life that I was a left brainer and I was in denial, especially since the people who told me that about me, made it sound like I was stuck up.

When we were to name things that we hated about the right brainers, I suddenly realised that I am not the only “stuck up” person and I am not weird. I also got to understand the right brainers, whom at some point, irritated me as they came across as irresponsible and didn’t apply their minds into doing things.

There was a category of the tests where my Thinking Style was unpacked and there’s a lot of truth there.  During the activities, I also learnt that learning and appreciating others’ thinking styles, helps with knowing the right approach when dealing with them so that you can achieve the desired outcome of your engagement.

I am a Left Brain dominant individual who applies a detailed information sorting style. My motivational style is mostly external and I am both visual and kinaesthetic in sensory preference. My learning and communication style is an Initiator. My friend, Refilwe, is a Right Brain, Bigger Picture, Internal, Visual and an Operator.

What’s my point? My point is that Refilwe and I are so different and after the activities, we both understood what being on the other side of the fence meant and how to deal with our differences towards working together without too many hurdles.

Group 2’s facilitation piece, FACILITATING CHANGE was just too close to home. Change does change who we are, it’s up to us whether the route we take is positive or negative. I loved how the audience flowed with the group during their facilitation, myself included. I am not one to talk during people, but that day, I spoke and was audible enough and my story touched a few people. I think that because their message related to everyday life, it made it easy for me to choose to be present in that facilitation, I paid attention, I told the truth without fear of being judged.

The more I learn stuff in these workshops, the more I look forward to the next workshop. I cannot wait for Group 3: HONOURING DIFFERENCE and how it will be executed next week.

P.S. Remember, when change happens, trust can be broken.  Am I handling change in a way that can change my life and those around me to be better? Are you?


It’s funny how one of the questions I had after class last Saturday was what exactly is facilitation was, and this week I am asked the same question back. Could it be that the Universe is teaching me that I must find the answer by myself?   How I would define facilitation now after two classes is that it is action and experiential learning and what you get in is what you get out. So far, I think, it can be further defined as any activity that makes an action or a process easy or easier.

I have always thought that facilitation is the same as a presentation by definition, but after Saturday, the 5th August 2017, I can slowly separate the two. I now can see a differentiation between, a lecture, a discussion, a presentation, a facilitation and a performance. Yeah, I said performance! After the first group facilitation topic, the feedback took me aback. Even though I missed Group 1’s facilitation piece, COMMUNICATING VIA SOCIAL MEDIA”, I still learnt a lot from the feedback. I realised that I had to unlearn things that I had believed to be true and right about facilitation.

I have always thought the way to capture your audience’s attention, was to add an element of fun to it. One thing that I did not know was that it is not feeding my audience with information from slides and it being a one-way journey. Your audience need to learn and take something out of your facilitation after you are done. Your audience need to be part of facilitation.

Showing up, Paying Attention, Telling the truth and Being Open to Outcome, the four facilitator roles, are things that I learnt the true meaning of and how they can help in becoming a good facilitator or coach.  I realised that these roles apply in our everyday lives and that it is necessary to practice them on people you interact with daily, especially when you are in a leadership position. I started applying the above roles as soon as I walked out of the workshop and I am not missing a single class or coming late in the next few weeks. I want to be part of it all.

I cannot wait for the next few weeks to learn more about this fascinating word. Waiting for the second group’s turn and being early to catch it all, really excites me. I am itching to see how after the Group 1’s facilitation’s feedback, is Group 2: FACILITATING CHANGE, going to facilitate their topic and use the feedback from Group 1 to their advantage in delivering the message. What is more important for me is what I am going to learn and take out from next class’ experience.

I must say though; this course does really keep one on their toes as one does not know what the next move is and what I am going to take out of that experience. Being locked out of class when you are late, has taught me that one needed to respect time and fellow classmates by showing up whey they facilitate.


Till we meet again, your girl is checking out!



Honouring Differences

What a display!

This team is something else-this was a silent display of tolerance.

The team captured and displayed what they believed a multi-cultural, multi-racial nation like ours could tolerate and embrace.

The presentation was gripping, it left much to ones imagination. Opting to have religion as the “difference to be honoured” was ‘brave’, it could have gone horribly south (or left in economics) had they misrepresented one religious belief.  Though sentiments differed judging from the audience’ feedback, I gave the team top marks for costume,overall presentation,theme music,content & delivery and for bravery.

honouring differences

Last week was my second facilitation class and I must say that it was different to the first one. I did not have as much anxiety as I had during the first class and I got there early which was great because I would have missed the awesome presentation that we were treated to by group 3 had I been late. I still have not gotten used to how big the class is and the constant grouping and regrouping that happens. As far as coming out of my shell, well, my shell has not even cracked yet.

Group 3 facilitated a wonderful topic, honouring differences which was beautifully brought to life by an astounding performance of a silent demonstration. They chose religion as their focus point which was brave of them considering how touchy and emotional the subject of religion is in our country and at times quiet controversial. We are after all a diverse country with a lot of colour (pun intended). From their performance I was left with a few questions. How do we choose religion? Do we just follow the religion we grow up with? Are we truly free to choose whatever religion we want to belong to? Is there an element of conformity? What happens when religion and culture clash? I haven’t answered these questions and many others I have about religion as I am still figuring it out but I will say that for me a good presentation must always leave you questioning the status quo.

What I have taken away from the presentation is that no matter how different we are, we all have something to contribute to the bigger picture. I then relate this to my work place. Some times when we are hard at work chasing deadlines, we fail to appreciate the contributions of others. Sometimes we act like what we contribute is better and bigger than the contribution of the next person. This is not the case. We all contribute differently but our contribution is equally important. Just like we have different religions that make up our beloved South Africa, at work we have different roles to play that make up the company.

Ok, that is enough for now. These presentations are getting better and better every week and I am looking forward to the next one.


1st Facilitation class – Communicating via Social Media

Being a first time blogger,EVER,ANYWHERE, I’m super excited!

My 1st class,was 1st class!

I felt well ushered into the course, Ros and her assistants on the day were energetic, inclusive and all round lively.

The presentation on Communicating via Social Media was an eye opener to whats expected of us as a collective, the content was fresh and current, I was almost tempted to sign up on one the media platforms.


To be honest when this semester started, all I wanted was credit points.  The last thing I wanted was a course that was going to take a lot of my time and energy, I wanted an effortless way to get 2017 over and done with as painless as possible. I went to the Wits Plus Admin Office and spoke to one of the consultants and they advised me to register for Facilitation course. I remember their exact words: “Go for it, it’s a walk in the park and you are not going to write an exam. All you need to do is show up every Saturday morning.” The joy in that was in my heart when I heard that I am going to be getting credit points just like that without working for them is unexplainable. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to get it over and done with.

On my first day, I really did not have expectations, I went to class with the “Whatever” attitude. All I wanted was adding credit points without working hard, right? Well, I had a surprise waiting for me, the class was not passive but one that that promised to be very active.

When I arrived, students were busy moving chairs and I was really confused. When we sat in a circle, in my head I had 1001 questions about what was going on and if we were going to be playing games. I was expecting a “normal” class setup of chair behind desk, not the facing everyone type of setup that didn’t allow one to hide behind fellow class mates.

One of the first things we were introduced to was the Check-In, where for me, I started paying attention because that was the effectiveness of the workshop where we could share our thoughts right at that moment and deal with them before getting deep into the workshop to prevent confusion. Check-in helps because during facilitation when you speak for the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time, you would have been speaking with a clear mind and sharing your thoughts or experience with people whom you already feel you know and are comfortable around. During that process, while people shared their thoughts, I found myself, my thoughts in them. It was amazing how similar some of us were.  The phobia for public speaking and the reason we were there to start with.

During and after class, I began to understand why I had to attend, the Universe knew I needed this course and I had a light bulb moment, realizing that WOW, I am at the right place. This is where I needed to be as part of my journey of becoming a future leader.  

After the break, we had a ruffle kind of exercise where each of us chose a number and those that ended up choosing the same number, were put in the same group. My number was 9 and all groups were assigned a group facilitation assignment. All my life I hated working in groups, but this was different. I learnt that the facilitation course was about learning the art of support, the real meaning of team work. TEAM BUILDING! The “I AM BECAUSE WE ARE”… That is if the phrase even exists. *giggles*

The class/workshop was amazing in a very amazing way. *I know, you are asking yourself what that means* *giggles* I left there with some light of why I was there and why I needed to be part of this course. I left with a clear understanding that facilitation is not a lecture. I learnt that not all learning has to be structured for me to learn anything. I think that the credit points that I was initially looking for from this course, the credit points that I wanted, are not only going to be a number in my transcript, but a valuable credit that I will value and use in my journey even long after I have qualified.

I still need to fully understand what exactly is Facilitation? How do I make sure I do not confuse facilitation and a presentation? In the next few days, I am going to practice using the check-in technique in my daily engagements with my colleagues and other students in other classes.

I have checked in, and for now… I am Out!

All religions are equal

“Rivers, ponds, lakes and streams-they all have different names, but they all contain water. just as religions do- they all contain truths” Muhammad Ali.   I have learnt that religion is a broader spiritual sphere and needs people to be open-minded.  As much as I expect other people to accept my religion i should do the same. The Holy Bible says: do to others what you expect them to do you.

We are living in a society which is divided when it comes to religion, everybody feels that his or her religion is more superior than the other peoples’ religion without any tangible evidence to substantiate such findings. This past Saturday’s presentation taught me a lot about different religions, and the significance of respecting other religions.

Karl Marx argues that, religion didn’t make us but we made religion. It is very important to understand the different ways of doing things by others. It is not right to make a judgement based on limited knowledge we have. At the end of the day, as people we connect somewhere somehow to the universe. Any religion is very fundamental in building our society, at the end we are all human beings and we belong somewhere.

Did someone say SCARF?

I did mention in my very first blog how giddy I was with anticipation for what was to come from these workshops right? I must say I continue to be pleasantly surprised.

This week I had the privilege of attending a business breakfast which could not have come at a better time (alignment, when the student is ready the master always shows up). The overall message that day was in line with what we had discussed in last week’s workshop and this challenged my thinking around the role of a leader.

You see power can be given and taken away but not influence. True leaders don’t derive their authority from their positional power but rather from the influence they’ve earned through service, I believe that you are a better leader when you are not trying too hard to be one. Unlike our friend David Scott in our case study, David didn’t understand the concept of leaders being served in direct proportion to their servant leadership of their teams. When leaders abuse their positional authority, their character authority is weakened.

So with that said, the SCARF model was a big AHA moment for me…I’m talking 1000w light bulb moment.

STATUS: My take on this is very simple, “who died and made me so much more important than the next person”? Often when society “elevates” us based on our achievements we start to feel like god’s gift to humanity, I just say SIT DOWN,BE HUMBLE nobody has time for that.

CERTAINTY: There’s a certain level of comfort I derive from being able to pre-empt my next move and as a result I can go through the same thing over and over with a fine-tooth comb until it feels right (notice how I spend a lot of time all up in my feelings…(Kinaesthetic much?). I observe how even in business people won’t get into certain “deals” because they are not sure, they can’t put their finger on it but it just doesn’t feel right.

AUTONOMY: Don’t even mention autonomy, I’m such a control freak and anyone who knows me will tell you that I always have to have my finger on the pulse of everything that happens around me because god forbid something goes wrong and it’s not on my watch (another solar eclipse maybe, only this time it might be permanent…I’d be stripped of every ounce of independence).

RELATEDNESS: This part is pretty much my take on our souls being aligned, as mentioned in my previous blog if our souls are not aligned, I’ll send you some love and light then keep it moving. Again if I feel that there is no trust or common goals I walk away, I hesitate to even do business with someone if we are not “VIBING”.

FAIRNESS: Often I hear people say “too bad, life isn’t fair” and I think what ever happened to empathy (in my feelings again)? I think we should all try to be kind because everyone we meet is fighting some kind of battle that we know nothing about.

Now that I’ve spent all that time on the centre stage of the Public Arena (starting to feel like Floyd Mayweather with all this attention) I’ll leave it here for today and retreat  to the Private and Unconscious Arena where I’m most comfortable.

Till next time, remember to throw kindness around like confetti.




Changing the way I think

It is said that change is as good as a holiday, but most individuals have a hard time taking that step toward change. I was part of those individuals and sometimes can be at times.

Sometimes our perception of change is negative. In my opinion, change is forced upon us to grow.

We are often resistant to change as we enjoy our comfort zone in our personal and professional lives.

I think we all have adapted to some sort of change being part of this Facilitation class at Wits Plus. We are out of a comfort zone being part of this very early class every Saturday morning.

Attending Wits Plus has changed my way of thinking and the way in which I set and achieve goals. I began studying after ten years and it was a great challenge and major change. But I chose to look at this change from a positive perspective and make every second count.

Change is not a bad thing, it just depends on the angle you choose to view it from.

Choose to see change as being as good as a holiday.

My level of connection with others is dependent on how fluent I am in “HUMAN”

I wish someone had shared these thinking styles with me sooner and saved me a lot of awkward moments, but then again as Owen Harrison. (1991) said, “Whenever it starts is the right time”. It seems that understanding the compatibility of thinking styles could have helped me avoid stepping on a lot of “corns”.

I realise that I wasted too much time trying to “fix” others, trying to manage their personalities instead of taking control of ME (facilitation skills 101). The holy grain of fluency in “HUMAN” is dependent on how well we connect; I believe that we connect intellectually, emotionally, physically and spiritually. The masters of this skill seem to understand the art of connecting with all different thinking styles at a much deeper level than the rest of us common folks.  Then there’s the issue of soul alignment (this is a topic for another day) but in a nutshell, if our souls are not aligned I’ll  send you some love and light then keep it moving.

As a #GirlBoss, this made me realise that my authority isn’t the same as my competencies therefore it is best to not interfere in the areas of my partner’s competencies as this often results in conflict and poor productivity. I believe that understanding how different thinking styles operate will help me work better with others and help me communicate more effectively, it will also help me to become more receptive to their ideas.

For now though I’m on operation Fastina Lente so that I can try to create a more inclusive environment and hopefully become more fluent in “HUMAN”.





Embracing the Public Arena

Dragging myself out of bed after hitting the snooze button 3 times already, was no easy task! –And that’s an understatement…I cringed at the thought of having to go to class on this glorious “pj day”. On the way, I consciously had to stop myself from turning around and going back to bed in my favourite jammies, with a hot cup of Milo and a Francine Rivers book.

But you know you’re in the right place when the temperature feels below zero outside and you’re dressed in half the contents of your winter wardrobe, yet you walk into a classroom just after 8 in the morning to find it’s full, people smiling, talking and full of life (well freezing ,but still, full of life).

As we moved swiftly down to business, I was taken by the piece performed by Group 3 on Honouring Differences – reminding us that we’re all different and should embrace that, instead of judging and imposing our views and beliefs on each other.

I must admit that I had initially thought that the religious angle they used was dangerous territory, as it can easily unsettle people. But I was pleasantly surprised at how beautifully they portrayed their message and also at the level of respect shown while doing it. I loved the calming ambience it brought into the room and how it completely captivated the audience. (Big ups guys!)

After the scene was set and my tummy was rumbling scandalously loud (reminding me of the consequences of abusing that snooze button) – I was once again fascinated with our cultural differences and belief systems as we started our group discussions.
And an added PLUS is that we get to connect with new people every time , which is really cool – ‘cos then you’re no longer in a room full of strangers.

I’m still intrigued by brain stress and how social and physical pain produce similar brain responses, eg. Who would’ve thought that someone who feels left out or unworthy experiences the neuro impulses as painfully as a blow to the head?! Absolutely amazing!

Well, to me, the fact that that so many people sacrificed their sleep, time and comfort to attend a class in the blistering cold, definitely means we’re on to something here….and no, we’re not crazy lol, just really dedicated…which is good…right?
And talk about getting out of your comfort zone! Seems everyone is embracing it, because each week we learn more and grow more and in so doing, we not only get to know each other better, but we get to know ourselves better and that’s ultimately what this life journey is all about!


Thinking Style, Learning and Communication

Last Saturday my group was presenting, mixed emotions, excited and nervous at the same time wanting to execute  it well. I am happy that  we pulled it off. Ladies in Denim and White with hats or Duku on. I am proud of  the level of team work and dedication shown by every member of the group.

Group dynamics were there, different personalities, ideas, thinking style, learning and communication. We learned to get along beside our differences because we had  the safe goal  and vision. To bring the point home, I had to think about the way my manager at work communicate with me or the team, how my family communicate and how to improve the line of communication.  At times, I would keep quite when I am not happy about something and not wanting to hurt the next person, always putting other people first.

I have taken baby steps by engaging in meeting and discussing areas of concerns me in the department. Also I addressed his communications methods and how it impact on the department and the organisation.

All I can say is Facilitation skills in growing on me. I enjoy the different method of learning and engaging.  The AHA moments, Plus and Delta, reflection after class on my way home with my friend.



Rituals, is being black costly

Growing up in a Christian family has made me to become so oblivious to ways in which most African (Black) define what it means to be a black person. I grew up in this bubble where everything was done according to the bible. I however do not regret nor feel cheated of my “culture”.  The fact of the matter is that I am who I am today because of some of the values and principles that I still maintain.

However, as I reflect to last weeks’ class exercise, I feel that I could have learned more about my culture, even if I did not have to practice it. Knowledge is never a bad thing after all…

I had a quick chat with three ladies from two cultural groups/tribes. I learned that in the Zulu culture it is believed that funerals and bereavement rituals help in the purification of the mourners who are believed to be polluted from contact with the dead. Thus the slaughtering of goats and wearing the goat skin around the wrist by the person who is supposed to be purified.

The Xhosa speaking lady told me about how each dress code indicates a person’s social standing. In her culture, only young girls may go around bare-breasted and a combination of a long skirt with no slit in front, together with a marriage bib and two beaded aprons means the wearer is a widow. Subsequently, they too practice some costly rituals. The dead are considered ancestral spirits with whom the living can and should communicate. Xhosa umkhapho is a ritual accompanied by cattle slaughter, which facilitates the movement of the recently deceased to the afterlife. They believe that umkhaphorituals should be performed in order to facilitate the movement of the deceased to the realm of the ancestors.


Most of all, I learned that being black is soooo costly. From birth to death, there are so many rituals that take place in order to bring one closer to the ancestors.

Mindful Facilitation

What is facilitation? It is person centred process that builds connectivity, certain level of expertise in the area you are facilitating, taking care of number one, respecting other people’s views.

Mindful Facilitation : Show up, Tell the Truth, pay attention

In order for one to stay at the top one has to have substance and form. Do some work on yourself. For years I have been taking care of everyone but myself. I have to facilitate change in my life by applying self efficacy. I used my past experience to draw out the confidence to my ability to achieve intended results. My belief regarding the power I had to affect situations, strongly influenced the power I actually had to face challenges.

Through the  techniques I learned from this skill I was able to able to apply at work. I had to address a colleague and assist the line manager to get the message across. Through mindful facilitation I showed up, told the truth and paid attention. Needless to say all parties present at the meeting were happy and the matter at hand was resolved.

To the left, to the left!

So, I did the prep work this time and enjoyed the activities in class, YAY!
I became independent at an early age as I had to leave home and stay with relatives. Not that this was a bad experience, however, I had to quickly adjust to doing stuff for and on my own instead on relying on someone else to do it for me. This made me very rigid, typical of the Virgo that I am.
I remember at my first job, someone commented that I was left brained. It was Greek to me at the time, so I never paid much attention to the comment. As time went on and growing in my professional life, I soon learned what the person meant so it got stuck in my mind that I was truly that as I also began to realise how I would want things done a certain way and would be frustrated if they didn’t go my way.
Doing the reflection exercise then plotting the results on the graphs revealed a new person that I wasn’t aware I had become. Talk about embracing change. I am still a left brain but a light one 😊. I must admit that being a wife and a parent has had a lot to do with the adjustment. Some have happened in the workplace but mostly at home.
The activity that we had to do in class to challenge the right brained group was a lesson to me that none of the two is better that than the other, it just means that one can use both sides of the brain except one is more dominant. I should not look at someone differently because of how they do and/or see things

Slowly finding my feet in this blogging world

What is facilitating?
Facilitating is being able to openly share your insight in exchange to openly receiving feedback while having and working on a set goal.
Each week is different in this class, just when I thought I had gotten the hang of things, something new happens. This week’s the presentation by group 2 was about Facilitating Change. It hit home to most of us as we had to do some serious soul searching and reflect on past experiences and how we’ve embraced the changes that happen/ed in our lives. The shared personal stories became a binding tape to remind us that we are all similar and share some similar experiences and that made me embrace all the stages of change I have gone through in my life, that sense of relief that you are not alone.
Something I had not expected was the different reactions that came out during the delta session. It became an eye-opener of how we as human beings react under different circumstances. I think because the first topic was a fun, general discussion, it gave an impression that all the teams will run a smooth facilitation process. It became obvious to me that we are not equipped with the right tools to handle such situations, we didn’t even know these topics would evoke such emotions.
The previous week, we were asked to read stories in our course pack in preparation for the following weeks class discussion. Due to my busy schedule, I didn’t have enough time to go through all of them as a result I felt out of place during the discussions and realised the importance of doing the prep work before the following class to enjoy full participation.
I like that I get to interact with new people every week, it creates a familiar environment for me to go to and to look forward to.

Week 4, 19th August 2017 Facilitation Class – Honoring our Differences?

Today came running knowing the door may be closed shortly, surprise, surprise the lecture herself is late therefore I found the door wide open. This week presentation was about honoring our differences and I could identify with Christianity and traditional healing humbling to see how our faith backgrounds differ in practice while the principle and some of the meaning behind the entire rituals may be similar.

Three principles were discussed today in which I took interest i.e three dimensions of disclosure, Social courses of brain stress and Resistance Barometer (terrorist line).Three dimensions of disclosure means every- one of us as individuals depending how you trust the person you talking or come across may either decide only to expose him/her on public or what everyone sees, there are a group of friends or circles in which very special knowledge is shared but cannot be expose to public, this is considered private, lastly it’s those things that are in our blind spots whilst everybody knows stuff about us we as individuals have no clue.

We also touched on Social courses of brain Stress and unpacked term called SCARF meaning Status ( our feeling of importance in comparison with others), Certainty (Being able to predict the situation and future) , Autonomy (our sense of control over events and circumstances-OWN SPACE), Relatedness (survival mode and deep need of belonging), and Fairness (Our perception of fair exchanges between people).

Lastly the Resistance Barometer (terrorist line) which begins with Covert (below water line) and end with Overt (Above water line). Between these two points are 1) jokes, 2) excuses 3) Gossip 4) Disruptions 5) Breakdown 6) Go -slow 6) strike and 7) War. These are the stages that people go through when they under threat or are not being heard. The key is as soon as you identify that one is embarking on this resistance path you may intervene and stop it before it gets to War stage.

Walk Humbly

This week’s group presented on Religion, unfortunately I was unable to give constructive feedback on what was facilitated because I was late. I’m usually 95% good with time but this week was just part of that rare 5% miss. I’m so sorry to the team who presented.

I think as we move deeper into what facilitation is really about, I step more and more out my comfort zone and my experience deepens as what is being facilitated is taken into a personal context of what’s relevant to me. In each week the people I’ve met and interacted with are generally really good people and I think my fear of speaking up has now subsided. Though the group activities that we do each week really make me uncomfortable I’ve been able to just check in and engage and try my best to not show my discomfort by actually participating.

This week we learnt new facilitation techniques, I enjoyed working in pairs & trios and I guess it helps encourage easy participation and break down any initial barriers. This week I enjoyed learning about the different cultures and traditions of the individuals within my group. I think it’s so interesting how traditions have been passed on through the different generations over time. One of the other things I observed was how passionate individuals get about customs and traditions. They are proud of their heritage and that really inspired me. Instead of just practising our values we should also profess them. Its about integrity and your comfort.

The techniques on the public, private, and unconscious arena and the SCARF technique was really fascinating to learn about. It’s interesting to see how your social space influences the way you act and react amongst people or in situations. The techniques learnt this week have been techniques which I display at times in both a work and personal capacity, however I was unaware of this until it been taught in class. I really enjoy the ending sessions in this Facilitation course. I like how Roslyn is able to add further to each group’s facilitation and basically sums up or ties everything together without much criticism to the group which presented. I think that at times based on the feedback that I hear from people regarding the Delta Plus, it is quite harsh and I think acknowledging others is an important aspect. People don’t always remember what you said but they will always remember how you made them feel and it’s that moment to understand the moment of impact. I think because I don’t put my hand up and give feedback, it’s easier for me to just put it out there what I observe people saying or doing but it’s good to be opinionated I think as introverts we are reserved observers and sometimes don’t have the courage or boldness that extroverts have to stand up and speak or give constructive criticism. Sometimes it’s about being humble but also letting people know what they need to know.

Honouring Difference

Bright and early as usual, with an expectant heart and ready to receive and contribute towards the oder of the day. Like any other ordinary Saturday, group members are preparing the room for their task and by the sound of things, this one is going to be a musical.

While standing outside I hear the sound of a gospel anthem and think: “Oh no, is this group going there?” I couldn’t wait to see what the group had put together as the rule of thumb is to shy away from topics about religion and politics.

With minimal dialogue and audience participation, the piece came to an end and I thought to myself: “What a beautifully executed task considering the topic.” What I enjoyed most about the session was the respectful demonstration of each religion. I was not at all uncomfortable. Secondly, I loved the use of music from the beginning to the end. It evoked an emotion and made me feel appreciative of my country.

My experience of the second half of the session:

Overall, it was staggering to learn about recognizing the core social domains that drive human behaviour and how these domains either trigger primary reward or primary threat. With a bit more reading on commentary around brain threats these are some of my findings:

1. The brain treats many social threats and rewards with the same intensity as physical threats and rewards (Lieberman, & Eisenberger, 2009).

2. The capacity to make decisions, solve problems and collaborate with others is generally reduced by a threat response and increased under a reward response (Elliot, 2008).

3. The threat response is more intense and more common and often needs to be carefully minimized in social interactions (Baumeister et al, 2001).

Looking forward to week 4.

what an experience

I did not get to see group three because I arrived immediately after they have close the door. But it was not my fault because I was stacked at a gate for something like twenty minutes and I was not alone, that’s the fortunate part. I’ve view the act through the window all the time and I have seen the act and assumed it was all about culture and what you believe in as individuals. Then we got to a part when we were discussing the rituals of Birth, Initiation, Marriage and Death. What an interesting discuss there. In my group we didn’t have much of a difference as we were all black people. We continued read the case study or a short story then discuss it even further. To be honest I am starting to love this class. I am discovering lot of things about myself that I did not know about. I am accepting the change that I see every time when I am attend that class. Facilitation is a way to go and discovery learning. I love it.

The inner me

I remember that morning I did not want to go to class because I felt that it is actually just too much for me. I hate what am becoming every Saturday as I am forced to talk and discuss some issues of which I do not want but hey…. I AM FORCED TO DO IT. What I did not know is that the inner me is actually competitive especially when I am in a platform of a debate or a dialogue. We were put in a circle having a dialogue of why are we at Wits and I found myself opening up to all those students and without fear. I never knew I would actually speak in front of lot of students and pouring out like that. My inner me competed with all of them. I had a gut that says you are not going to be left out therefore its your turn… “speak up” And I did, that was really a surprise and I was proud of myself and I told myself to loosen up from that moment onwards. Next time I will the first to go and hey baby steps “asomblif”

Wow… Another surprise was the fact that I did not know that I am a right brain. I was like wow!!! It made me understand my behaviour and how are see thing. what I forgot to ask is that you can use both right and left brain or not? But I have realised that I am learning a lot of things in that class. I now got used to the settings and I have realised it is a good idea to be in such setting. The group was on another level am telling you. I sometimes ask myself if I cant outplay all the group presented already because I only see energetic and charismatic individuals doing their best they can but the question is can I really do the same? I have to as I do not have a choice, soft spoken and introverts as I am, I have to. At the end of the day I personally grow as an student and will definitely explore it to other parts of my life. What an experience!!!!!

Check your blindspots……

It is important to understand how your mind works, how perception works, how beliefs work, how your mind becomes “set.” Once you get your mind set it affects what you see, what you hear, what you taste, what you smell.
What we let ourselves see in the way of opportunity, answers and solutions has a great deal to do with our background.

This week’s theme of honouring differences opened up my blindspots regarding the similarities found in religion. Group three in my opinion executed a fantastic silent play which showed how various religions view the “statue.” In addition to honouring differences, I realized that we were all schooled differently; hence our interpretation regarding various matters will differ. This is the reason we will see or not see our blind spots. I am certain I can multitask, however I now know that I can only focus on one thing at a time. Thus I am now aware that blindspots do exist.

The Johari window is a tool we read about which is used to explore the nature of our communication, our choices about how much we reveal or make known about ourselves to others and receive feedback. As I choose to grow up I realise that my extreme extrovert personality is starting to subside. I am coming unto myself by making my circle of those closest to me very small.
I now speak when spoken to and I try to restrain myself from talking too much. (Must admit, I am still struggling with that part).

The problem with blindspots is that we don’t know where they are. It’s like what they say, ‘you do not know what you don’t know.” As people we always think we’re seeing the truth. After the lesson on the 19th of August 2017, I am going to take full accountability to help my peers in my class see what I see and I hope to get the same from my weekly engagements.

Reflection about the rituals done in our societies allowed me to realise that, as different as we are in terms of our background, colour of our skin, ethnicity, race, etc, we share so many similarities. I felt like there was a live connection between myself and other group members as we continued relating our different experiences. This increased more knowledge about other cultures and how they do things within in their circles as well as the connection between my culture and theirs. I observed that during group discussions, facilitators played a neutral role but they did encourage meaningful discussion. Also, no facilitator tried to push his or her own agenda. Reflecting on the story of the new CEO, one thing coming to mind is that, there is a possibility to achieve more in the workplace if leaders can adopt facilitation skills. I learned that, in actual fact, leadership is something you do to a group while facilitation is something you do with a group. Leaders are very aware of their power within the group and maintain an authoritative stance as opposed to facilitators who act more as a neutral party. Hence, David was easily misled by his executives. In essence, according to me, facilitation doesn’t only work in a specific set up for instance classrooms, but it can help leaders to learn more about people they are leading subsequently achieve great results

Left brain, detail sorting and internally motivated

When the ‘thinking style profile’ exercise revealed that my left brain dominates, that I use details to sort information and that I am internally motivated, I wasn’t at all shocked. I mean I am a girl who makes lists for everything; one of my favourite past times is buying stationary and notebooks to jot down tasks and every so often I compartmentalise aspects of my life. Yes, I record that on a notebook too.

‘An over thinker’ are words my boyfriend has used to describe me. Even Nokukhanya, having only known me for three weeks, wasn’t at all shocked at which side of the facilitation room I was standing at. By the way, she was right there beside me up until we set down. Only when checking our sensory preferences did I see that she embodies both audio and kinaesthetic, unlike my dominant visual sense.

Being part of a big group was fun and I laughed more in that class than I do when watching modern family. Okay jokes, no one can beat Phil Dunphy’s hilarious persona, not even Ty Burrell in real life. The experience though, is still so vivid and I smile just thinking about it.

Gears shifted when Roslyn spoke about how internal motivation can at times cripple you. Thinking back to my anxiety filled life, I am able to see how living in my head and relying solely on myself affected me. I existed between two extremes; mania and depression. I experienced paralysing sensations that made me feel as though my brain was literally spinning inside my skull. Having only learnt of panic attacks later in my life, I always thought what I was experiencing was just part of who I am.

This class in all its uniqueness and casual way of learning, has allowed me to revisit my past and analyse my present. Being labelled hypomania by a doctor at age 15 and almost being hospitalised at age 17, I understand very well how internal motivation can immobilise a person. Although it can be used as fuel for academic excellence, my first semester average totalling 77%, it can also rob you of all that life has to offer. I trust that in putting the ground work for my future now, I will keep in mind the two faces of internal motivation.


I don’t know how to express my self as English is not my mother tongue, but what I saw this past Saturday was soooo amazing. One can do and say much without saying a word. what Team 3  has done surely made an impact in everyone’s heart and thought. The teams presentation made me think a little deeper and came with the conclusion that I am fortunate to be part of South Africa and the Facilitation Skill class … well done to Team 3

I have learned another Facilitation tool Case Study. This case study also opened my eyes as I always turn to turn a blind eye when it comes to what’s happening in my work and personal environment with the three types of Arenas.

We where grouped in 6 and we had to facilitate each about our Ritual’s when it comes to Birth, Initiation, Marriage and Death.

From the group of 6 we had to be with different 3 people forming another group, where we were facilitating what we have learned from the previous group of 6, but what was sooooo interesting is we all come from different race and cultures but we somehow do the same rituals, what an eye opener……….

The SCARF MODEL –  every human being has a need of the scarf model. Lastly but not least The Resistance Barometer is also interesting. know I know how to read peoples minds or thought, thanks to the resistance Barometer

I REALLY ENJOY MY SATURDAY CLASSES…..Looking forward to the next class.


The 4th week “Right & Left Brain”

Week four of facilitation, I liked the assessment, it was spot on for me.  It is so cool to be on the “Right Brain” don’t you think?  This made me realise that we are really different human beings and we complement each other.

Well done Group 3 for respecting and accommodating different cultures, I love the “diversity” of this country.

Geeeezzzzzzzz, we are back in class again only one more day to go…hope the weather will be nice and warm, been freezing.






Honouring the differences but silently!!!>>>

Honouring the differences presentation was awesome how I like artistic works, you speak a whole lots of words but silently. The group took a different dimension in their presentation when honouring people’s differences religiously they could have opted for any other way to express that but woow they knew that each one of us believe in either in a certain religion and with that related to our faith “faith are the things hoped for but not seen” that will get us thinking to our selves.One could have noticed during the audience engagement that silently presenting got everyone seeing the whole presentation in their own way……

The presentation went in to our deep intuitions as everyone has to think out of their own understanding on what was going on without the group talking but demonstrating our differences in our own cooperate world with regards to our religions. It was a well articulated presentation looking at that South Africa is a diverse country with many multi-cultural and race in it…….Big up to the group and hopeful with the next groups we will see other innovations with regards to their respective topics and set ups…

Please be reminded, that we learn in different ways.No one size fits all approach allowed ,

Learning happens in various ways. Observation, listening, play, engagement in activities to name a few. Which contain various ways of gaining knowledge. Without one siting in front of a desk and listening. In most cases’ for me, I would be bored and not hear or understand what the educator was sharing.  Notes shared on a black board to copy down, using only white chalk. Visual aid seemed to be too much on an inconvenience, for it to be incorporated into learning.

In my understanding, this would mean two people would receive the same information but interpret it differently. Most if in not all of my schooling life learning is done in a way where the teacher share information with students mainly through talking and students listening. Hardly ever, would: music play or any other technique of learning be used. It was read, more like cram it all in and memorize as per the text. Without exploring alternatives to learning. The closet alternative and easiest way for my teachers was group work.

I know now that I enjoy visuals in my learning or a having music play while I study.  With colorful notes and brightly highlighted key words and phrases that trigger or remind me of the important aspects. The reciting and repetition of content becomes fun and light without feeling as if I have to get through tons of work. By putting tunes to words or definitions, work becomes easy to remember.

For now it works , but i am open to better and different ways of improving my learning.

2nd week presentation Group 3

The lessons we learned from the play was great though the comments from the panel lacked the personal story telling to engage us the audience, My broad question regarding facilitation, are we running away from constructive conflict. like discussing the difference we have as a people.  I realized when we performed the exercise about who we are as a people. when we had a slight conflict with Left and right brain to understand the difficulties we face with not understanding each other, Through conflict we learn. it’s not all so rosy and we can only deal with it by facing the differences and only then can we live in harmony with each other. The expectation I had from the presentation though it was not yet clear.


Honouring diversity

Well done to group 3, they carried a powerful message without speaking,  there was power in the silence. Great respect was displayed when the different religions were displayed by folding the previous religion’s attire neatly and placing it in the box, that was a great metaphors. We were divided in groups and we discussed the diversity in cultures and religions with regards to birth, death, marriage which was interesting and insightful.

In class we uncovered the Johari Window. This is relevant in the work place,  as I can identify the transparent area, people know the basics of one another. The blind spot area is where all the office gossip transpires from, it is information known (whether factual or not) by others but not the person. The hidden area we all possess, it is known by self but unknown by others.  Furthermore I can relate to the SCARF Model as well in my personal and my professional life, at times it is good to feel that I am important, I love the certainty I don’t want to feel as if I don’t know what is going on, I love the sense of control and to be given authority to make my own decisions. I love the sense of belonging and to be treated fairly.

A different start – Week 1

I title this a different start as my first facilitation lecture was like no other lecture I have attended at Wits. My first thought was why do we not have desks in front of us and why is there so much of noise with everyone talking at the same time. I also thought, is this really what I signed up for and is this what my Saturday’s will consist of? The lecture for me was very unstructured which did not gel well with me as I find myself to be structured.

It is now the fourth week and I am writing weeks one blog now as I felt if I had written my blog in the first week I would have bashed the course without gaining sufficient knowledge.

I understand that the whole point of the facilitation course is to allow for interaction with the assistance of the facilitator. It allows for participation of many students with opinions and respecting them.

It is an environment that is different for me but I look forward to the learning experience.


Ja ,ne , Blogging!

For the first time I am doing this and hope that it is done right.

I have never blogged in my life and don`t even know if I`m doing what is expected of me.

Blogging in an experience for me as I am not good with technology. a friend helped me to set up the log in I am typing here , I am looking a send button and I do not see it.

I am on ‘visual’ screen and i am asking myself why is there a ‘text ‘ button, should`nt I use that?

Breaking down cultural barriers.


This week class once more started off with a presentation, topic of choice was Honouring Difference.

The group held a “talk show” type of presentation with a silent demonstration of different religions and cultures, even though there was hardly a lot of talking the overall effect was refreshing and different from what I expected. Once more opening myself up to new experiences is always so energetic!

We then got into group sto discuss the four elements of life that are shared universally – Birth, initiation , marriage and death.

It so interesting that even though we are so different all our cultures and beliefs are so alike. At the end of our session I felt we are all connected to each other, which was a great feeling.

My two aha moments for this class were as follows:

Three domains of disclosure; basically we all have a public, private and unconscious domain. Am definitely going to start observing my work colleagues more on these fronts!

And the Resistance Barometer which I think is a fabulous tool to start marking any relationship against and gain a better insight before things lead to a “strike” or “war”.

Starting to enjoy my Saturday morning and very much looking forward to this coming week, so much more to learn and explore….


And then I almost dropped out

Last week Tuesday was such a slap in the face , guess what? I got my first assignment results back. What a disaster!

You know I was in my own world floating around thinking that I was this tiny genius in the making and it turns out I’m not even average actually I’m almost dumb. Lmao! Like that mark was a piece of humble cake, what was I expecting anyway this is university 🎓 things are rough out here.

Then comes Saturday and I am late again so I miss this fantastic presentation *sniff sniff* but I walk into the lecture room and have to say for the first time in 4 weeks that room looked normal. Everything was peaceful and calm, everyone was reflecting. I looked at the board and saw some pictures up on different religions then I was like ooooh! Well done guys you did a great job on creating a good atmosphere for such a sensitive topic.

Guess what else popped up? The Johari window. If you have ever of EQ then Johari is not new. I definitely want to know what is my blind side but at the same time I feel like it will make me self conscious. I loved the terrorist line whoever thought 💭 of that is genius.

I have to say after mingling on Saturday I felt grateful. I realised I still have a lot to learn being in a class with people way older than me and sharing experiences and stories made me feel small in a good way. Diversity is amazing and time is a problem. People are books walking around with rich stories that shapes this world. I feel connected to someone that I only spoke to for 10 minutes and all they gave me was a story.

I won’t drop out because I’m still dumb, I think I need to learn a little more before I give in or maybe I should go terrorist on my research lecturer…. 😁 MOUHAHAHAHA




Lesson number three and counting!

The brain is an amazing organ, It’s interesting how we process information, rewards and assessments. After taking the assessment on Saturday I couldn’t help but notice how it seemed as though  no one was aware of their thought process until they took the assessment. Or the possibility that many knew, but needed affirmation (myself included).  I could be wrong, but I noticed how a lot of people in the room became confident and engaged in the session once this was brought to light.

My aha moment was when I realised that I need to start appreciating my team at work.  There are times when I think that I can just do everything myself, left-brain style.  But in reality the two coexist – you need a mix of creativity to keep things interesting.  Just as well, you need the logic to bring that big picture to life.

My experience…

…Creativity, imagination, and intuition with a mix of reasoning,  analytical and logical thinking is a good combination. We need a bit both.


Difference is Diversity

The perspective brought to the table by Group 3 made a significant impact on me. The idea of difference in a society as diverse as  our Mzanzi is not new news, yet its nuances are so embedded in the normality of everyday life that we can easily overlook our differences in the order of daily mundane life.  It occurred  to me that we are not a perfect society and we are a society that handles difference with indifference.

Group 3 handled the subject matter of honoring difference by focusing on the beauty and uniqueness of various religions.  What stood out for me, is the fact that all the religions highlighted had much in common. They all subscribe to a notion of a higher power or God who expresses himself/herself in the form of love, kindness and forgiveness. Yet one of the students’ commented on the group’s courage in choose a topic that can be so greatly polarizing.  Wars have been fought over religion and to date there are factions within countries and between countries.

In terms of self awareness and personal mastery, the notion of brain stress resonated with me and still lives with me. I finally understand the reasons behind my exhausted state of mind and being. Its the feeling when I have been chasing work deadlines, attending classes 5 times a week at WITS and submitting on average 2 university assignments a week.

I am experimenting with the notion of presence and as a replacement for the pursuit of perfection. Truth is, I am not perfect and chasing perfection simply renders my mind, body and spirit tired and unfulfilled.

Here’s to mindful living…cheers.









FINALLY AND BIG UPS TO MY TEAM, GROUP 3: Honouring differences

The day that gave me sleepless nights turned out to be the most memorable day of my facilitation class so far. Although part of me is relieved that my presentation is over the other part wants to do it over and over again. I remember meeting my team on Friday evening to rehearse, We organized the room and started rehearsing but we were not as productive as we wanted to as we were all tired. Long story short, we decided to call it a night and meet the following day  before class rather.

I didn’t sleep at all that night, thinking of what was going to happen. By  the way I was not feeling well the whole week and on Thursday I was admitted at Fourways life Hospital but I begged my Dr to let me go as I did not want to disappoint my team, besides I felt like it will look as if I’m running away from my task. Thank God I was discharged on time and my team was relieved.

Our presentation, went very well, although I was panicking to the core. We really had good feedback and we are also grateful for Delta that we received. As they say “The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake, you can’t learn anything from being perfect”. As usual we continued with class after the break.

This class was very insightful though.For the first time I felt like I was in class and understanding what was going on. The confusion I had on my first day of class was gone. The ritual exercise got me to listen, talk and interact. It took me on a journey of discovering my other self. I connected with the people I was interacting  with I learned from their stories and it also touched my heart.

Ros introduced a new facilitation technique, Case study ,where the three domain disclosure were discussed, Which are the public, private and unconscious arena and from these I have learned  how much we turn to reveal about ourselves and also that your public domain might be big with people close to you. have  also learned about the Johari window which represent the communication window through which we give and receive information about ourselves and others.

SCARF model was also introduced, where social causes of brain stress were discussed. first one being statusCertainty– I have learned that when we are uncertain our survival is at risk and this causes the brain to stress. Autonomy– which is to be able to make your own decision. when we are micro managed our autonomy is threatened and we don’t get to learn from our mistakes. Relatedness – as human being we are born with a sense of belonging and when we don’t feel it our brain experiences strain .Fairness- When we don’t have sense of fairness we breakdown .So when these social causes are challenged we move towards pain and when they are  in place we move towards pleasure.

Although I was enjoying this class so much, by the time we get to the resistance barometer I was dead tired, all I wanted was to go home and sleep.  A BIG THANKYOU  to my team for such team spirit, support and respect, Indeed we did honor each other’s differences. If I were to choose a team, I’ll definitely choose you guys.

Until next time, cheers for now………………………….


Who I am to judge, honouring differences is a noble thing

You have not learned a thing until you realize an AHA moment. Mine was when we learned about the resistance barometer by Myrna Lewis.  It was such a powerful tool which is something that happens a lot at the workplace and social spaces.

The question that I still have about this resistance barometer is that, does the opposition ever come to its his/her senses that what they are doing is actually not right? Is it such behaviour require some psychological assessment. I’d like to know the response to that question.

I learned about the SCARF model by David Rock, which has a lot to do with coaching on how people react when their social space is threatened.  The most important lesson what to understand that my Status as a Paballo is not better than the next person. However, as our brains are wired for survival and Certainty.. the brain is able to sense patterns. Autonomy reassure us that we have everything under control and it is becomes easier to have a Relatedness with others filled with a deep meaning in belonging to our circle of friends.  Lastly, to be mindful that Fairness creates an untrustworthiness of a working or personal relationships. I will be able to apply this model in the next 3-4 days with a better knowledge cause it apply everyday to everybody.

Plus Delta was the important key points of facilitation which require us to learn about listening, understanding when we did the exercise of sharing on our understanding on the rituals of birth, initiation, marriage and death as a rainbow South Africa. The silent play, posters and musical background were spot on.  I think the group did well and I enjoyed everything.


Right brain……

Every person has unending potential, but it tends to go unused because we limit ourselves by the way we think. By teaching ourselves new thought patterns, we will help “unstick” ourselves as we go for new goals and move towards realizing the potential for great things we have inside.
The notion of efficacy, that I have caused the reaction of something happening. The forethought by thinking ahead and looking at the obstacles by imploring the option thinker ingredient, by going through, above, below or at the side of the obstacle.
The extent to which we let ourselves dream big dreams is linked to how strong we are inside, and how persistent we are will influence how well we go after those dreams. We learn the importance of harnessing our ability to use forethought, the ability to think ahead, and of adjusting our behaviour accordingly as we go for those dreams and this is evident as I am a right brain visionary thinker
I also learnt that my dreams which are my goals, aspirations are tired to the idea of how strong I am on the inside.
Finally the ability to bring about the dreams I have in my life, and that the power lies within me to make better thinking.
My affirmation for the week of change is that “I am very creative, alert to opportunities and eager to implement them.”

Honouring the Difference

it is so amazing how a well coordinated team characterised with respect,unity and support can produce admirable and outstanding  outcomes. What a great experience I had for having to work with my team members to achieve our common objectives(and that was to display the best  play in our group presentation).Not only my team I salute, but the entire facilitation class for your honest feedback, constructive criticism and supportiveness. In my team,am proud.

At long last……Facilitation skills in 3!!!!!….

Oh oh facilitation skills what is it though? I read the cover page of the Course pack and it interests me to know that it can be related to my everyday life a work and also on a social meetings. But dah!!! There is more to it than what I preferred of it in the first place…the idea was to score point lol. Facilitation is not just standing in front of people with a paper or laptop or projector and start telling people of what you have experts on…..
First day in class all seems to be confusing but there comes the most amazing scenario a course with three lectures, how cool is that? Oh i thought they were also students but their knowledge was beyond my expectations about the course but only to learn later that they are on the lecture panel. Then i went home wondering if i was at the right class or not.
Week two come and pass because i couldn’t attend the class due to family commitment but my mind never stopped from asking what a facilitation skill up until week three started is.
There we are in week three and they speaking about change and people became emotional about the subject but at least am catching up to understand my first day question about the course I took myself in to. I am an introvert and am wondering still that how will it be of help from this course if am with people who can speak and laugh without thinking much. As I am still wondering about that. Ros asked which type of brainer are we? There i am left brainer haha haha and it is said you are a logical thinker and too conscious to say…………….
That got me thinking again about my partner. Oh thanks God now i know myself so i might have to be careful when am dealing with other people for there might be left or right brainers.
Oh my word this class is so interesting i can’t wait for the upcoming Saturday there is so much to learn here……… now my day one question is finding its answers day by day. They said if you are confused in your studies then you are learning surely and surely I am that leaving testimony………

Preparation for the Presentation

Presentation Week 19 August 2017

The moment of truth has arrived! It is my groups’ turn to present this week. Two groups have already presented their pieces. Being the first to do anything has always been a very scary experience because you don’t have anything or anybody to measure against. You actually have to set the trend. Well that is as far as disadvantages go. The up side is that you do it, you get over and done with and if you are lucky no one can match you. Being a trend setter has huge advantages in that people tend to use your trend as a yardstick! While you, by virtue of being the first, you use your creativity and make your own rules.
This is where I and my group find ourselves, question after question, no solution. One moment we think we have it, the next it seems daft. We have deliberated at length, still we find ourselves here:

Working under pressure is my worst, yesterday I literary got a mental block, you know when you have gone into google trying to find the answer and you still come out empty! I mean google is supposed to answer all questions and when it does not you get the feeling that you are on your own.
I decided to call it a night and I jumped into the shower before bed. Voila! The ideas came tumbling down as the shower spray came down. I jumped out of the shower still dripping with water scrambling to find pen and paper to jot down these most welcome ideas filling my head. Needless to say I had the most peaceful night since Monday as it was already Wednesday.

Our Differences

Thinking again about the events that unfolded in class yesterday – Honouring our differences. Life would be much better if religion is not imposed on the next person. There are many ways that people connect to the creator, and that is through religion. There should not be a religion that is considered superior to the others or promoted as the only religion that is doing the right thing.

Religion has managed to divide us a nation, that’s a reality that all of us have to come to terms with. The group that presented yesterday showed us that we can honour our differences but unite in what divides us a people. The music, and the methodology that was displayed, indeed it made sense that we can pull together irrespective of our differences.

It was an amazing experience!

Human Dynamics – Honoring Difference

With regards to Human dynamics, and the entire module that covers this particular section, I learned a number of important points and lessons. I’ve learned how to accurately examine and read circumstances that can possibly lead to stress on a social level, and also how to deal with such conditions. I also learned how important it is to understand the concept that both companies and people exists within systems that contains many hidden layers of resistance or fought processes, that are not always brought to surface.

With regards to the group and the presentation that was done by them yesterday, I feel that the group did a good job. They got the message through to the audience, and were well organised. I do feel that maybe there had to be a question period where questions could’ve been asked. but other then that, good job .

Honoring difference is something that I will be sure to focus on in the future.

I changed my mind!

FACILITATION: guiding through participation, while respecting other people’s point of view.

I was in a wonderful mood as I walked towards the second class of facilitation skills that Saturday. But as soon as I stepped into the class something knotted in me and my first interaction was to say that maybe I should de-register from this course. As I looked at the disorganized class with chairs all over and tables against the walls, I felt the lack of structure killing me. As group 2 began their facilitation presentation though, I felt myself relax a little. The topic… CHANGE. I laughed inside. I wasn’t sure what to expect and when we were asked to close our eyes and visualize the change in ourselves at ages 10, 16 and 21, I couldn’t help but smile. Why? Well because I was made to remember that I had always allowed change in my life, that change had dominated most if not all of my decisions until that very moment sitting there. My stubbornness to let go and enjoy the change in this class was nonsense I realized.

As the class progressed I found myself more and more engaged. The reflective exercise relating to thinking styles was great. The way we were made to stand in groups based on our scores gave me an idea about how to use this exercise at work for a team building event. I also noticed how excited and passionate people became when “defending” their types of thinking. I was made aware of how we are so alike in our difference and how competitive we can be. To the point that we often forget that collaboration can get you further than being an island on your own. It was a good tool to assist in seeing people I interact with differently. As well as looking at myself to see that sometimes I need to be more flexible and accommodating.

So after all was said and done, another class was over and I decided to take the topic to heart and I changed my mind about facilitation skills.

Congrats Group 3!!!!

Congratulations to my A Team !!! Amukelani, Karla, Khosi, Mbali, MaMbatha, Kezia and Achievement. The week gone by has been hectic and presented its own challenges. I had sleepless nights about our facilitation piece. But I realized that when we team up excellence is possible. To each one I wish to extend a special thank you for the input, hard word and team effort in the end we delivered on a masterpiece.

Again change was a challenge for me, facilitation lectures has made me realise that the Team dynamic is important. I have always been challenged to work in teams. Even my sporting code is running, me, myself and I. Change and progress is on the horizon because I will slowly embrace more team activities for I now know it is possible and success can be achieved.

Public speaking not necessarily my strongest point, I had sleepless nights about presenting I am happy to have survived indeed there’s hope for me lol! and a lesson well learned that change and new learnings a possibility.

Today’s class was very insightful and got me thinking about truly honouring differences. We live in a country with so many interesting dynamics, cultures, believe systems, religions and rituals the list is endless. I took many learnings away from today as I got a sneak peak into so many interesting cultures and their rituals. I now have a greater respect for my counterparts. Our uniqueness as a people will always be our signature as the RAINBOW NATION – UBUNTU. We are a beautiful nation very diverse and I now believe there is no other country/nation like ours.

To my daughter I wish to say thanks my child for allowing me a sneak peak into the wide world out there through your travels I cherish each learning you bring my way. Allowing me to broaden my thinking and how I view and embrace the new and interesting. You are my gift from God and I am blessed to have you.

Once again a very special CONGRATS TO TEAM 3 on a job well done!!!


AM I TOLERATE ??????????????????????

When I was born, I was baptised as a catholic, all I had known was the roman catholic principals, at the age of 5 I started school at Assumption convent in Malvern. this was a girls school and we prayed twice a day. this is all I knew and most of us had the same beliefs.

At the age of 15 I was sent packing to a boarding. not cause I was naughty or that my mother wanted space but all because my mother wanted me to be independent and see the world for what it is.

This meant id only come home during school holidays, id have to start doing my own laundry, own home work and do this on my own. I was afraid, cause I was going into a new environment with new people. I was also excited cause this meant I was away from home.

Growing up in boarding school, made me tough inside and  out, it showed me the beautiful and cruel world we live in. it made me independent, it made me sharp and made me tolerate others.

here I was in a new school, that taught no religion, and coming from an all girls catholic school going into a co-ed school meeting all different people, from diverse backgrounds, religions and cultures.

I had to adjust, I had to adjust fast,  cause I released not everyone is catholic, not everyone loves you and not everyone will protect you.

Todays groups presentation and class activity made me self reflect if truly, AM I TOLERATE OF OTHERS?

I looked up the world tolerance again and it states “willingness to accept behaviour and beliefs that are different from your own, although you might not agree with or approve of them”,

 I further looked for a tolerance check list  this is what it gave 1 .Own Your Feelings 2.Look Within 3.Check Your Ego 4.Meditate 5.Remember Change Is Imminent 6.Use Your Power 7. Keep Perspective 8.Practice Patience

looking back at my past, today, and the self reflection exercise, I can honestly say, I need to improve on my tolerance for others.

Im learning a lot about myself with this facilitation class. IM FACING MY DEMONS HEAD ON!!!!!!!!!!!!! : )









Module 3

My Saturday mornings have taken a new dynamic, I am an avid runner and waking up early is not a challenge for me at all. Initially when I started this Facilitation class on a Saturday morning I could sense my body was protesting. Ideally I would be out on my morning run, but I realise there are wants and needs and Facilitation now takes priority as far as my academic career is concerned. I am a very structured person and change does not come easily in my world; routine is the order of the day.

CHANGE! ideal presentation as portrayed by Group 2, the group perfectly executed their facilitation peace leaving me having a few personal conversations. Amidst the fact that we go through change on a daily basis equally change at times present challenges or discomfort. I will make a concerted effort and embrace change on a personal level instead of being rigid in my ways and how I do things. Perhaps throwing caution to the wind is not such a bad idea, perhaps even engage in more fun and random moments oppose to my planned and structured manner in how I do things.

Unfortunately I had to leave class early as I had to attend a wedding but overall the class was on par and I enjoyed the learnings.

I look forward to more learnings and development


Expanding Networks

You picture yourself in class just a few hours before the class start and you wonder how it was going to be like today? My experience in class today was more exciting and lessons we draw from our differences as human beings. It doesn’t matter who you are, what your values are or what your religion is. The one thing I have experienced today was respect for one another regardless of all the factors that I have just mentioned.

I was able to interact with different people in a short space of time engaging in serious subjects. The atmosphere was different in class and a bit unusual but seeing everyone around me just made it right. I liked the group methodology that the group used to facilitate the topic, it was life learning experience.

I enjoyed the interactions in class and also expanding my social network has been the highlight of my day. This is the day that I am reflecting and understanding that people you learn meet are genuine.

It was a beautiful class!

Blog 3!Cant believe this!

Blog 3.
What a week.The fact that frim the very first minute i walked out of class i have been meaning to blog but never managed to do so between a sin with whizzy chest and terribly blocked nose and a husband whose luggage was lost in transit via SAA to namibia I truly do not know how I cooed such a hectic week.

Four days in that ungodly hospital chair/bed in hospital I pray that it never happens to me anytime soon.I think it all wiped away my expirience in class.I should have blogged early.Well earlier than my week started to spiral out of my control.

The group that was presenting went on and on about change.I am so sure from the feedback it didnt rub the class right.Comments were from “I am clinicaly deoressed” “It was dangerous” “Given what I hear here I am glad I didnt see it”
Could it be change that rubbed everyone so wrong.Could it be change that created such hostile environment.Well executed task though.Planned to the T.Thought provoking qoutes well done group 2.

As for my hectic week.It is the thing of the past now.

Is my ex trying to kill me?

I swear … The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

So last week I missed class because of food poisoning. My ex was in town and spoilt me by cooking crumbed mussels for me.  Yum!Its a favourite of mine. And I think that meal was the one which had brought me closer to the light. I was way too ill to attend and now I’m experiencing a severe episode of FOMO. It was one class but I’m very worried about how much I’ve missed out on because they are so jam packed with info.

Well a few days ago I put into practice what Roz taught us about Dopamine and Serotonin …sounds like names for a set of twins! I have a colleague -let’s name her Dame MeloDrama-who can set off a toxic wave of negativity in the office. The result of this was  a less-than-pleasant email from my director. Immediately I went into negative space which had the potential to drag me down to present an unDiva like attitude. Then I rembered how increased dopamine levels causes negative feelings and pessimism and that serotonin counteracts that. I made a conscious decision to have a good day by focusing on the positive of the day. Serotonin levels went up, my spirits elevated and even my colleagues seemed to cheer up. The day ended with a productive, motivating chat with my director and nobody burned the place down.

Lesson learnt: keep an eye on my ex and do not eat his “special meals” he cooks for me.  Just kidding!

Lesson learnt : control your dopamine before it controls you.

Look its not really possible to control my hormonal secretions but I know that I certainly can decide how I respond to my environment and my response may influence others in the environment as well.


Off to today’s session!

The First Step

As the age old age cliché goes, the first step to grow out of your old ways, is to admit that you have a problem (someone spell alcoholics anonymous), anyways let us not get into discussions about alcoholic beverages so early in the morning. Here goes nothing, Hi, My name is Ntuthuko Mazibuko (and the class goes Hi Ntuthuko), and I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoyed my first Facilitation skills class, a lot of potentially life changing tools were shared with us, albeit too soon to tell, something quite different about this particular Facilitation skills course, all things being equal we will not mention anything about previous similar courses attended, overly bubbly facilitators (something different about this particular facilitator, must be the sparkle in her eyes), I digress.

One of the things that has stood out for me, from the 1st lesson, is Kolb’s experiential learning cycle, which  I feel I could potentially use in my daily routines (before we get ahead of ourselves, just like sobriety, everything takes time, so I am a work in progress).  Kolb’s theory engages the following pointers, Engage, Reflect, Think, and Act.  I tend to suffer a chronic inability of being unable to do the latter (I did say, that I am a work in progress).

Some other great pointers that I took our of the class was the show up and choose to be present concept, some of us, especially me (Note Kolb’s theory in motion), sometimes choose to just disappear into the sunset, not the romantic sunset, but more like the magic hour. Many a cases, I show up, but I am never present, I tend to be quite selfish, in the sense that I look for what can and will benefit me, if it does not do anything for me, I will show up (inevitably it becomes a waste of my time), but will not be present, last but not least, another lesson learnt was the following concept “Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome”, in pursuit of Nirvana, this potentially the utmost critical lesson that I learnt, unfortunately the conditioning, that I have been conditioned (Not related to hair) with, has pushed me towards seeking perfection, and any form of failure is considered a weakness, and any form of weakness relegates one to being a pawn.

All in all one can say that I am looking forward to journey that I have taken for the next eleven weeks.  A step closer, hopefully at the end of it all, I can say Veni, vidi, vici.


Last week I came to class with my homework done and I can’t say the results of the exercise came as a shock to me. I am naturally detail orientated and I do not need a piece of paper to remind me. But now that we are on the topic, I might as well tell you about me.

I am detail orientated (I’ve said that already). I prefer order, to follow a particular routine, a strict perfectionist. I admit it’s frustrating for the people around me, I’ll also admit it’s frustrating for my own brain to keep up with. But I like it, not because left is any better than right – purely because I cannot stand processes that are not thorough.

What I learned though in class, last Saturday, is that the connotations we tend to attach to left and right brainers are not so kind. We were at war with each other because we thought we were better than the other, we thought the others were less perfect, illogical, impractical (and they thought the same of us). It was interesting to watch how we had to defend how our brains work because of the fear of being thought of as unintelligent and unconventional.

Anyway, here’s what I really loved about the class. The idea of change!!!

The reason why I mentioned having done my homework is that those who had done it sat in a circle and had a conversation about how we all got to where we were. To myself I answered “GOD”. I was there because a series of events (everyday is an event) unfolded – yesses and no’s, left and rights, doors closing, new doors opening and so on. A series of endless events that placed me there, at the very moment. Everyone had a story to tell and the common theme was the idea of CHANGE, people looking to change their lives, their jobs, themselves.

It got me thinking. How happy am I with my own life? How much change is required to reach my own desired outcomes?

So many questions and I haven’t quite gotten the answers but maybe that’s the beauty of it. The answers will come in a series of events, I think lol. I’m still introspecting.

Change is inevitable. Change is great. If you’ve got something you want to finally do, remove the shackles and just do it (this is not endorsed by Nike).

I wish change upon you all



I really enjoyed week 3. It was interesting to see that almost everyone believed the theory of right and left brain.

I once learned that categorising someone’s personality by determining whether that individual is “right-brained” or left-brained” is nothing but a myth.

In class I learned again that right-brained people are thought to be more spontaneous, creative, and artistic, while left-brainers are associated with being more logical, detail-oriented, analytical.

Does that mean I should blame my inability to pass maths on the shortcomings of my left brain?

Nevetheless, what I personally drew from the exercise is the fact that we are diverse in our own ways. In our diversity there are also similarities.

In any given environment diverse people brings different experience, knowledge, behaviours, qualities and personalities.

I gathered that as diverse as we all have a responsibility to value and embrace diversity. We have a responsibility to create an environment where every person is respected. As for me, the right and left brain theory put an emphasis of the importance of acknowledging that there are many ways of viewing the world which includes solving problems and working together in the same environment.

Resistance to Change?

Change normally makes people uncomfortable and are resistant to change. That’s exactly my experience in class last Saturday. I must say the topic was well presented and touched different aspects around experiencing change. The atmosphere was rather different in class. The presentation got into me and realized that in any events in my life I am resistant to change. Listen to different experiences which individuals went through, really got me thinking and internalizing on what I need to do differently.

The exercises were great and now I have a better understanding of myself around other people in the class. Also understanding others and able to know what they are good at. The other lesson was about how influence I can have in a group and be able to be consistent in everything that I do. The facilitation course is an adventure to me, I will never know what to expect.

It’s really about change and moving another level up.

Facilitating change requires a mind shift, of course

My AHA moment coming from the facilitation of change has challenged and got me to reflect that whether I do something about myself personally or about any situation around me, change happens anyway.

The question that I still have is what would the world be like without change?  I cannot imagine life with change as it would have been such a boring life.

I learned that it is important to embrace change and allow things to flow as life is so beautiful and one can only enjoy it by accepting that where there are people and living things around us.. there is a change that happens and it is an opportunity for one to be aware of the situations that I never thought of.

The application of change apply to everyone and every time  whether we accept it or not.   Reflecting to Group 2 on the Plus Delta, I enjoyed their presentation about change through oral and visual demonstrations which I notice that the group wanted the audience to relate better through learning.  I also found that personally stories shared were very touching, emotionally and demonstrated that what had happened from a young age to adulthood .. change will continue to be with us.

Acceptance of change is what I would like to see from everyone including myself.  I guess change is good when those who are affected as aware of it.. it makes things better and easy to accept whatever situation that life throws at us.

From the presentation made by Group 2 was so nicely prepared and threw the participate to join in and embrace change as it happens.

Accepting change

Saturday session was very touching and made so many people emotional. The topic was about change, it could be a positive or negative change.  I learned that as people we should learn to reflect on changes in our lives and see if there is something we could do differently about it. Change is always good because it makes us think and see things from different perspective. The time that we had to reflect on things that happened to us recently on ten years ago, that was very sensitive. I felt so emotional and resentful at the same time, but after the feedback session I was fine.

Week 3, 15th August 2017 Facilitation Class – Facilitating Change?

Today was facilitating change the theme of the day however very fascinating the work that was presented by the team from their attire and amount of research that has gone into the presentation, what made an impression in my mind was change curve and the fact the study of neurolinguistics program (NLP) where the emphasis is compared to well-travelled path in the desert even on our minds the same paths are created which makes it impossible for the mind to create a new path when change is to be embraced.

Change happens outside us, through us only when we unfreeze then change acceptance happens. The fact that some of us are visionaries, auditory or kinestatics is evidence that we operate from different point of views as people and all is supported by whether you are a left thinker or write thinker. This subject created a lot of excitement during this week where each group of either left or right thinkers tried to demonstrate why they get frustrated by other sides and in essence trying to understand other person DNA to enable better working relationship. Further it explains why most relationships fail through not understanding how the other better half functions.

Lastly I must say these other guys who are right thinkers are disorganized maaan, very playful, full of multi activities that never gets finished properly, I guess they are great starters but horrible finishers clearly that’s where we come in to finish what they have started without any possible panning and the moral of the story is we need to co-exist, work together in harmony for the betterment of our families, society and the country at large.

CHANGE IS HARD. DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After Group 2’s presentation on Change, I reflected on my life, where I come from, who I have become, my experiences in life and where I’m going. I MUST ADMIT CHANGE IS HARD!!!!!!!!!

I googled searched change, I found so many definitions that I didn’t like, I wanted SOMETHING, something that spoke to me, spoke to my soul.

Yes, Yes, Yes this is it! the one that I liked, the one that spoke to my soul. CHANGE-“To become different or undergo alteration”

2017, The year that changed me, changed my family dynamics .
On the 28th February is my mothers birthday, this day was special because she was turning a year older and it was also the day she retired. we were happy, we were glad that this was now time for her to relax and enjoy her hard earned money. on this particular day she was in pain.

fast forward April, a decision has to be made!!! do we amputate? or leave the foot?. this is where CHANGE happened. Here I am, the last born in my family, the soft one, mamas baby, impatient, I live for me, my job, school, riding and this happens.

look, my mother is a strong women, never seen her sick and does things for herself all the time, even if you offer.Our job as her kids was to just make her proud.

A decision was made, we had to amputate, for health reasons. The change that happened, Changed me and truly altered my life. I was in DENIAL, I WAS DEPRESSED, I WAS FRUSTRATED AND FINALLY I ACCEPTED.

Today I can say:

I’m stronger
I’m Patient
I’m Focused
I’m a mother to my mother
IM CHANGED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was light

So…after surviving 1st class. I was more than excited to be back it. Although a still a bit uneasy but I am starting to have a ‘lot of light bulb’ moments. The engagements are different and informative and mostly fun. The other fun part about class is really the fact that one never knows what’s in the hat. That is so refreshing. We had our 1st group presentations. Ooh! Boy the team made it more crazier, more fun and got everyone involved . It was amazing to watch the team at work though at first being 1st ones to present can be nerve wrecking. I think they really gave it there best. The rest of course we all took notes and listened to all pointers that could also help our own presentations. The following week I found myself using more positive and kind words instead of being too critical. Sometimes I spoke loudly to myself 🙂 as walked to my favourite places or between the office and parking. I am every week empowered with new skills and new knowledge and am open to learning. I have opened myself and it has not been easy doing things the ‘new’ way especial when it comes to applying some of the teachings to my personal life. . I might not be where I want to be but that does not mean I MUST QUIT.

Right brainer much???

As I reflect on last week’s facilitation class, it got me thinking… “T, you are not alone and you are not crazy, you are just surrounded by people with different characteristics and a different way of thinking”.

While doing the reflection exercise (thinking style profile), I had no idea how the exercise was going to change the way I see myself and other people. It turns out I am Right-Brain Dominant.

I am generally impatient and find it hard to explain myself when I perceive something to be ‘obvious’. The issue with this type of thinking is that I find myself so frustrated with others, to a point where I just become indifferent. To me, nothing is more annoying than someone who does not “just get to the point”.

I know for certain that we all get to a point where we feel we are too different or that nobody understands us or how we think. Surely even those people who like explaining (also known as left drainers) something so simple in long-winded ‘essays’ feel frustrated when right brainers lose interest mid their elaborative conversation. And yes we do start to wonder and think about other things when you go on and on…

I went and did a little research, yes, right brainers do research too. I wanted to find out if being a right brainer really correlates with my personality, so it turns out I am a right brainer more than the right brain. Also, I have learned that most left-handed people are often right brained– so I guess my story checks out. I got a little naughty as well; I tricked my family members to answer the questions from the exercise, well of course in the name of “doing research”. Turns out we have both left and right brainers in the family. And boy, did this make sense of who have been slowing us down. I started to make sense of how I have related to each one of them in the past, especially when we had to organize family functions.

Anyway, it was really eye opening to learn about the right and left brain dominance and how our way of doing things could be as a result of which side of our brain is more dominant. This exercises was also helpful in that, moving forward, I will do my best to be more patient and understanding of those who start a conversation with “once upon a time”…

It was great to know I was in a company of other impulsive, creative/artistic, intuitiveness and most of all, awesome individuals.

…Oh, and to our logical left brainers… it is not that deep!!!


and the two shall become one

When we hear this phrase – we immediately think of marriage, but what would happen if we applied this in our work situations – like marriage its the coming together of two different people, some times from different countries, cultures, ethnic groups and religion to name just a few, all with a common purpose, to create an adventure together.

Working together requires patience, understanding, empathy it requires us to forget that we are an island and that we co-exist with other people that are totally different to us, as we’ve seen people learn differently to each other making even the most patient person a little bit unnerved.

Imagine a world where only black and white existed, what a boring world that would be – lefties need the righties and vice versa – and when black and white mix we have a beautiful grey area – and sometimes we need a little more white to make it light grey and sometimes we need a lot more black to make it dark grey, when the two become one, something magical that did not exist before, is created and that is the beauty of it all


Substance or Form

And so this was my AHA moment,  at some point in our lives we would have come across some questions like, would you want to rich or intelligent or beautiful.  If you could have anything what would it be?  If you had asked me this 20 years ago, I would have without a doubt told you that I would rather be rich, cause then I would be able to travel the world and there’s nothing that a pair of red bottoms cannot fix, fast forward to 20 year laters, I still love travelling, however if you asked me this again – my answer would definitely be, a person of substance.

I’ve always said I never want my obituary to reflect my date of birth and my date of death, with nothing significant in between those two dates, and so from this day forth I choose to be a person of substance encased in a fairly good looking form.

Let me not forget to commend the first team on their presentation, being the first up is always nerve wrecking, however they did exceptionally well for just being thrown together for a week – Take a bow! Social media is definitely changing the way in which we communicate and interact with each other, even as I sit and write this blog, this a now become an alternate method of sharing your feelings and expressing yourself, for an old school person like me I would have done it very differently, but I guess the world is moving forward and we either move along with it, or sit back and watch it pass us by!!


Till next time, remember a beautiful soul lives on much longer than a beautiful face



Week Two

Today was an eventful and insightful day.  I now knew what to expect to a certian extent.   I was comfortable being uncomfortable.  I learnt so many new techniques like the fishbowl, balcony and dance floor, tripple loop learning.  The one that stood out the most for me was feedback i lernt how to give and take honest feedback without making it personal which will help me in my career as i am in HR and this is a skill that is required.   the first presentaion was done and i ejoyed the exeperience they created for us as the audience.  The short stories where so interesting, i learnt how to identify what facilitators roles are and what the audience roles were


Finally i am able to log onto this this (blogging site). My mind feels blogged because this is the first time i ever heard of blogging. im flustered because on day one i was late and had no idea where the class was, but hey i found it :). I walked in thinking that this is going to be an easy peasy class, im just doingthis to get my pionts………… When class started and we where asked to start moving the table i thought OMG are we going to be standing in the middle of the class expected to talk in front of everyone for this whole course… There was no structure which made me even feel more agitated and confused as i had no idea what would happen when, where and how. I some how got my head around it and WHALA….the penny dropped, i started learning things i did not know, the class was so engaging and enteractive. I met new people and formed a group for our presentation

For the love of Brain

“Mastering other is strength; mastering yourself is true power”

I open the page and there it is – an assessment on your brain dominance and learning preferences.  I am in love I think to myself, with a little grin.  Let’s do this.  Results are in… contradiction at a major level.  What is this?  I re-evaluate.  Yip, definitely correct… well this is interesting.

Anxious to know what my results mean, the group presentation is about to begin.  The thought of what topic is up for discussion didn’t even cross my mind.  Change, change and some more change… What an interesting presentation, I enjoyed it so much and all of the sudden they were finished.  But I wanted more!  More information.

After the break we have to divide into to groups, those with left brain dominance to the left and those with right brain dominance to the right.  Well… this is awkward. I am smack bang in the middle. Roslyn explains to myself and Claudia that this is how it is meant to be.  We should use both parts instead of allowing the one to be too dominant.  Victory dance!

I learnt a great deal about myself Saturday and through doing the assessment.  Paying more attention to people and there ways can truly tell you a lot about them and how to approach them.  This will allow for excellent communication in all aspects of your life.


communicating using social media

The previous lecture whereby there was presentation on social media broadened my understanding on why we prefer other social network over the other. I learned that not all social media utilise date for cost perspective and we use it for different meaning for different reason. For example if one is looking for job its advisable to use linked in as most employers advertise on it can be able to view profile.

it is also important for one conduct herself in manner that portrays professionalism and protect ones image.

Social media is means of networking and finding old associate by searching them.

All social network have advantages and disadvantage one has to know ,other information is live and can be editable or removed others u cannot remove .

reflecting exercises

learning from the analysis of which part of the brain I utilised made me realize the reason I like or cope better in making decision. example I personally like to analyse and follow certain order as compared to doing multiply task at the same time.

These exercise was helpful in me understanding myself and to relate to other people better as I will not be judgemental .

I know now that there is nothing wrong to be self reliance as I derive motivation from within, and trust my abilities and to control my destiny.

I would definitely apply the lesson learned and encourage other to take the exercise it will help improve how we relate and analyse decision taken better .

Change is the law of life

Change is messy, uncomfortable but most often it is the greatest thing that u can do for yourself. I came to this course thinking that I know most of life’s lessons but to my surprise I was shocked to know that I was lost. I have always done things at the last minute, because I just could not push myself hard enough to start early, I always have areason to procrastinate. I never thought that me being impatient with others and summarising everything was a sign that I use my right brain. I guess it’s true when people say u leant till u die. I must admit though I am going fonder of this course. I enjoy every minute that I spend in it and can’t wait for the next presentation.

29 July 2017 first lecturer

I am surprised and very confused, this is a very different lecturer it has no structure at all . we are encouraged to interact with everyone, live a little, let your hair down and think out of the box this is the new type active learning . in this course we share ideas and are very much involved. I must admit in the beginning I was confused but at the end of the day I was glad that I took up this course and I am enjoying myself. I just wish that I could have taken it early but all that is not important now fact is I am here now and I am enjoying myself.

CONFIDENCE 5 August 2017

Facilitation skills is the ability to develop your own as well as others personal skills whether it is overcoming your fear of speaking in public or presenting in front of a large audience. it
pushes one to step out of their own comfort zone but this is done without having to compromise who you are. facilitation skills entails partaking in mindful ways og thinking, it encourages engaging with others through experience and permits for universal conclusions to be reached through listening skills and tolerance.

At this stage I have started to gain my confidence back, I can now see the importance of this course. I am acquiring people’s skills, I am learning to be objective without hurting people’s feelings. I am more attentive slowly but surely I listen without being judgemental . I am realising that not everything matters but we all have different perspectives. A valuable lesson I learnt is that a teacher is not there to put in but is rather there to draw out things in students hopefully good things. I am really enjoying this ride of active learning and I belief that it will benefit those around more as I become a better person.

Different sides of the brain

  • I have learned a lot in class on Saturday, the most important being that it is okay to be you in the world that needs a lot of patience and understanding ,by so saying me included in there.i have learned that a little patience might help me understand someone,i have learned that we are wired differently as human beings and i think that in itself makes one the unique person that one is.

If nothing goes right Go Left

Well done to group 2, they were well prepared and it was refreshing and it felt relevant. They used real life examples which the audience could relate to. The personal stories from the audience made a huge impact.

Our class activity on right and left brain was very interesting. I have learned a lot about myself furthermore I have learned to be more aware of how other people think and how to deal with it. The debate we had was eye opening, and tools where shared how  to communicate in the person’s mode. The exercise thought me where I need to grow in parts where I was not strong in. The assessment allowed me to see where I and others fit in the bigger picture. Thus far I could quickly assess and see where my co-workers fit in and I now  have a sort of contingency plan in place to use certain techniques when I need to get work done 🙂


Different  flowers make a beautiful bouquet!

Different flowers make a beautiful bouquet!

Now that was my Saturday morning well spent, I thought to myself as I zoned out from the blaring music in the car on my way home – to reflect on the experience and lesson for the day.

Apart from the really cool facilitation that the ladies had put together, I was so inspired and taken with some of the personal experiences that people shared regarding embracing change. It was so real, so raw –and a lot of times, we tend to think that we’re the only ones feeling a certain way….that no one else understands.

I found their honesty refreshing! It really is amazing how we can find inspiration, strength and courage in the most unexpected places if we just open ourselves up to it.

Ah, then came the second session – which was undoubtedly the highlight for me! (Even though I felt like a bad apple for not having completed my reflection exercise beforehand – Sorry Ros! So much for being a “left-brainer”).

I found myself completely intrigued by Thinking Style Preferences and must admit that I even learned a thing or two about myself. Also about how other people think, learn and communicate….I’m throwing myself wholeheartedly in this one, cos although it may be difficult to adapt at first – I’m a firm believer in “Practice makes perfect”. I just love how useful it is in all arrears of one’s life, home, work and play – so much so that I couldn’t wait to share it with my family! (Needless to say, the “right-brainers” couldn’t wait for me to get to the point lol)

It is said that our similarities bring us to common ground, while our differences allow us to be fascinated by each other. I completely agree! Challenging as it may be, let’s see our differences as strengths and capitalize on them. After all, a bouquet is made from a variety of flowers… some thorny, others prickly….but beautiful non-the-less.

Knowing me and knowing you…

Week 3 of facilitation skills started on a high note as expected. Group 2 tackled the topic of change with earnestness and authenticity. It was note worthy to discover that the theme of change and its universality touched and affected the majority of class, yet the depth and dimensions of each individual’s story was distinct and sacred. Some deeply touching stories were shared as the group was reflecting on the content that was disseminated and the methods used by group 2 to facilitate change dialogues. Pity the presentation went so quickly. 🙂

Discovering the virtues and bedevilments of being right brain dominant nearly sent me into a mild depressive state. I was deeply struck by how emotional and internally focused I am. Does this mean I am a ranting raving emotional being? Is that made worse by the fact that I am a woman? What does this say about my prospects as a leader? Can I remain rational and impartial? Do my emotions drive my agenda and motivation? So much to learn…so much to consider. The road ahead is rosy yet I cannot take my foot off the pedals of personal mastery. The employment and empowerment of my right brain capacity needs to maintain top of mind for me. A skillful facilitator remains impartial and rational at all times.

I have been experimenting with the new knowledge I discovered in respect of the way I solve problems and learn. Sitting at a desk or in a library does not enhance my ability to learn, I need to keep moving baby!

Moments of delta reflection always impact supremely on my moments of personal reflection. The process of positive or constructive criticism is managed carefully and with utmost delicacy by Rosslyn. A good leader makes an effort to articulate moments of delta (difference/improvement) with care and kindness. A good leader builds and cultivates the best in others.

Facilitation Skills as a Discipline

Lecture two was like fireworks. It was lit from the moment group 1 commanded our attention at 8:30am sharp.  This episode in facilitation skills was filled  with new realizations and an array of critical teachings.

The theater and fun element provide by the presentation segment of the lecture was incredibly stimulation and stood out significantly. The feedback sessions post the group’s presentation was good and bad, and I learnt a new way to critique in the form of  ”delta”.  Although there were many positive comments, I couldn’t help noticing that the list of  delta moments was equally long, I guess that holds true to human nature.

When we delved deep into the definitions of facilitations, what stood out the most is that a fascilitator creates the platform and space for purposeful dialogues and collaboration, however the facilitator never seeks to dominate the conversation or steer the conversations and thinking in any particular direction. I couldn’t help looking and thinking of my role as a parent as being a kind of facilitator. I made a note to listen more and create a favourable platform and environment for my children to explore and express themselves.

When Rosslyn explained briefly about mindfulness and the gift of being present in every moment I had an epic aha moment. I have since made an effort to be fully present in the company of my children, cellphone away. I give my full attention and it certainly makes me feel good to give all of me to them.

Saturday mornings will never be the same again!


Things are starting to heat up – Week 3

After reading most of the blogs from Saturdays class I am regretting not be able to attend class. But what do you do when family rings the emergency red bell.

The left brain and right brain has always fascinated and intrigued me! I most definitely use both sides of my Brain, BUT clearly more right Brain.

I honestly wish I used more of my left brain in my current career. It is hard been a Banker in Digital Innovation. If you don’t know that is strange combination.

Been more of a right brainer sends most of the analytical banking thingy over my head and you Right Brainers will understand that. While you Left Brainers are busy rationalising what I just said.

I just realised why I am always late to class, I lack more of left brain control with a sense of time. Now I don’t feel as guilty…I wish they don’t lock be out next week for coming late.

Sho’t left, driva – Week 3

There are no such things as freebies. Everything comes at a cost. If you left-brained you deemed to lack elements of right-brained and visa versa. You may be able to see the bigger picture but you don’t quite have the detail, you may have substance but you lack form.

This may not even be a puzzle. After all, the outcome is not predetermined and there is no guarantee that all the pieces of the puzzle will be available. What appeared to be as insurmountable mountains to climb are now emerging merely as pathways to a realignment of the expectations and strategy.

“Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…It’s about learning to dance in the rain” – Vivian Greene.